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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Mama_P I think I have separation anxiety
  • replies: 4

I’m struggling.... all my life I have been a strong indpndt woman. I’ve hit rock bottom before & picked myself back up. I was a victim of DV and my 2 kids were too, 1 being physically & emotionally harmed. 11y on, he’s 20 now and been through a lot o... View more

I’m struggling.... all my life I have been a strong indpndt woman. I’ve hit rock bottom before & picked myself back up. I was a victim of DV and my 2 kids were too, 1 being physically & emotionally harmed. 11y on, he’s 20 now and been through a lot of counselling. Life was good... I just built my house on my own, I have 2 ygr kids & a partner. I love my babies so much, & from my past I have done what ever I could to protect them. My 15y old & only daughter was feeling the affects of not hearing from her father for almost 3y... I could see the signs of depression. She was seeking male attention. She ran away to meet a boy from FB in Nov 17.... we were close... she got scared the next day after finding out she was rep missing and I driving around for 24 hours. She ph her father who picked her up & never brought her home. He’s changed her number, had her block me from all her new social media accs. Told her I’m controlling as I had access to all her social media accs & completely turned her against me. I cry almost every night.... we are going on month 8 now no contact. He left his wife & step kids & moved & don’t know where. I get abusive msgs from him telling me to kill my self & how worthless I am, how much of a bad mother I was & am. I put a DVO out on him. We are going through court and it’s just all taking it’s toll on me! My 1 & only dghtr has been stripped from me, & I’m struggling! I have an autistic 9y old son with many needs, a gorgeous 4y old son and my eldest. my heart is bleeding. It’s like time has rewound 11y &I’m a victim again & it’s all revisiting, but this time my daughter hates me thinks Im all these bad things. He gives her all this freedom, let’s this boy stay over and sleep together and has NO rules what so ever. I can’t handle not knowing where she is or what she’s doing. On top of that I lost my job, lost about 30k in the new job, it’s tough! & now my eldest is off to the military, which I am so happy for him, but I’m scared, my 2 kids, my heart are gone and going. The impact of my daughters absence has changed my life. I work 50+ hrs a week just to keep my mind busy. I love my kids so much, I don’t know how to make the hurting stop! Will it get easier? I’m angry & sad but will not stand down & still stand my ground if she was to come back. The one thing I will not allow is to be controlled by a teen. I miss her though! I can’t even tell her that, as I have no contact with her thanks for listening....

friendfriend Friend pushing me away
  • replies: 1

One of my best friends (he’s male, I’m female) has suffered from pretty severe depression and anxiety for a few years now, for reasons I am not aware of. I tried my best to have his back and support him through everything, I never gave up on him and ... View more

One of my best friends (he’s male, I’m female) has suffered from pretty severe depression and anxiety for a few years now, for reasons I am not aware of. I tried my best to have his back and support him through everything, I never gave up on him and we got along very well. He always had my back too, anytime I struggled with certain aspects of my life he always knew what to say. For a long time he was in a sort of not too serious ‘relationship’ with my sister, which I’m guessing gave him more reason to get along with me, but that retain my wasn’t the thing that defined our friendship. Sadly, a few months ago he made a more serious attempt at harming himself and his depression became much worse. I got very scared and emotional and I still am worried about him, but since the incident he has completely cut me out of his life. My sister and him have since fallen out, he cheated on her and began trying to make her feel bad for what he did. He acts like we never even knew each other, gangs up on me to pay me out and say nasty things, blocked me from social media and always puts me down. I have no idea what to do, I feel betrayed in a way, but more overwhelmed with sadness that our friendship is all of a sudden just gone. Especially because he has helped me with so many problems that I am currently still dealing with and he is not there to help me anymore. How do I build our friendship back and apologise and make him see that he is still so important to me without sounding stupid and without him pushing me away and embarrassing me? I have no idea what to do or what happened between us to ruin our friendship but I want it back so badly. Please help.

Falstad Partner is depressed and has ended our relationship! Please help!
  • replies: 1

Hi, This is a long an complicated story but I'll try my best to put everything in. I'm 31 years old and have a 7 year old son and was married for 7 years. There's was no love or affection in my previous relationship and I was treated like crap. My cu... View more

Hi, This is a long an complicated story but I'll try my best to put everything in. I'm 31 years old and have a 7 year old son and was married for 7 years. There's was no love or affection in my previous relationship and I was treated like crap. My current partner is 38 years old and has 3 kids 18, 15 and 3 and she was coming off an abusive relationship where she had been sexually and physically abused. When we met, we were both living with our ex's at the time and obviously that made things complicated. We both slept in separate rooms than our ex's and both ex's made our lives a living hell when they knew we were seeing other people. Anyway, me and my current partner had a thing for each other for years and when we first kissed it was instant love time stood still for me and I knew I loved her and she was the one for me from that point it was perfect. We started to try for a baby almost straight away and we fell pregnant on a holiday and thing's were great so I thought. We came back home and we were both living with our ex's but my partner was still getting verbally abused by her ex and it caused a lot of issues and fights obviously I wanted to be there and due to the stress and pressure ultimately she lost the baby. She pushed me away once she found out she was pregnant and I blame myself for her losing the baby I should of done more (I also blame her ex for causing her all the stress). Anyway we both had a drunken night together to help get other the loss and while it's not the best way to deal with things it helped. so we moved on and started to put in offers for houses and applying to the banks...Now... the thing was we both had houses with our ex's and obviously needed to sell to start our perfect life together. I sold my house and gave up A LOT to my ex so she'd agree to sell so I could start a life with my partner and try again for a baby. My current parent kicked her ex out and didn't sell. Now long story short, My current partner doesn't want a baby Her ex now lives with her again She doesn't want to sell She has ended it with me She is suffering from depression She just wants to be alone I'm really struggling to understand how to deal with this because the moment I try to move on she comes running back saying how much she loves me how jealous she is and so on. I don't understand how to deal with all of this because 2 days ago we kissed and cuddled and she said You know the way I feel yet doesn't want to be with me? Can anyone please help!!!!

Helenmc Are there ever any happy reconciliations?
  • replies: 7

I've read a lot of personal stories the last few days and I've never read a feel good ending . is it all negative and doom and gloom? surely there's got to be stories out there where people have reunited and it's worked out? would love to read some .... View more

I've read a lot of personal stories the last few days and I've never read a feel good ending . is it all negative and doom and gloom? surely there's got to be stories out there where people have reunited and it's worked out? would love to read some . Helen

Leonie230 For those who have betrayed and being betrayed. A question for you.
  • replies: 7

Im struggling with being betrayed by my husband. Im trying to keep our family together since this has happened. We are both actively trying to repair the damage hes done and wants his family back again. My question is does the person who did the betr... View more

Im struggling with being betrayed by my husband. Im trying to keep our family together since this has happened. We are both actively trying to repair the damage hes done and wants his family back again. My question is does the person who did the betrayl deep down think their partner is an idiot for wanting to repair the brokenness? Sometimes I feel that he must just look at me sometimes and think what a idiot I am for not walking away completely. Leonie

Bobby41677 Lonely and lost
  • replies: 4

I've cane on here to talk to people who might understand. My son got sick and almost died, it made my wife rethink our relationship and she left me, taking custody of the kids. Lost my house too and everything else.bthey we're the only family I had, ... View more

I've cane on here to talk to people who might understand. My son got sick and almost died, it made my wife rethink our relationship and she left me, taking custody of the kids. Lost my house too and everything else.bthey we're the only family I had, I have no friends or even acquantices. I now go up to weeks with no one to talk too, I'm just feeling completely alone in my life

melissam76 He wants the party life & tells me Im boring cos i stay home & care for our 6 year old
  • replies: 4

Hi there, 10 years into our relationship & my partner is out at least 3 nights a week till very very late (playing darts?) he thinks Im boring as I stay home with our 6 year old daughter who is a real challenge to say the least. He puts me down all t... View more

Hi there, 10 years into our relationship & my partner is out at least 3 nights a week till very very late (playing darts?) he thinks Im boring as I stay home with our 6 year old daughter who is a real challenge to say the least. He puts me down all the time, we manage a caravan park with his mum & step dad and he constantly tells me Im useless and makes me feel incompetent. To cut a long story short, Im drained, maybe even broken. I have gone from a strong girl to an emotional wreck. I have no family close by, they live interstate so Im pretty alone.

Sobrokenup Husband admitted chatting online with a girl overseas for a month and wants to meet her & have a long distance relationship with her
  • replies: 9

Am I a fool for staying? At the beginning of June my husband told me he loves someone in America that he has been chatting with online.They have only chatted for one month! They have sent each other a couple photos and also do voice messages. He is a... View more

Am I a fool for staying? At the beginning of June my husband told me he loves someone in America that he has been chatting with online.They have only chatted for one month! They have sent each other a couple photos and also do voice messages. He is at home all day messaging her while I am at work. He also stays up all hours of the night messaging her. I am staying because financially I cannot live anywhere else. I am not an Australian citizen we are from NZ. We also have a son who thinks the absolute world of his Dad. I have no family here just a few friends, but they are not super close to me. He has said he will look after my son & me and visit the girl frequently... if him & the girl don't work out he said maybe we could get back together... He is sleeping in another room...I don't know where the doting husband & father to my son has gone. This is simply totally shocking and heart breaking..... Tonight I broke into tears & said I can't take his coldness & anger towards me anymore. He now talks to me like I'm a stranger or at times even worse than a dog.. I said sometimes I feel like just taking my son & moving back to NZ. But my heart breaks for my son knowing that he would hate to be away from his Dad......And the real killer for me is that tonight he said if that's what I really want I should do it!!! Without even any hesitation or thoughts for his own child's little heart breaking.......he acted like he could careless. This is shocking behaviour each day I am seeing a new different ugly side to this man. One month ago he was so loving and just the ultimate family man. How can this happen?

Cherryorchard A bit lonely and confused... what to do from here?
  • replies: 12

Hi everyone, I am new to BB and I am just looking for advice and support. I have a great life, but just the last month I am starting to feel really lonely and blue. I was born in a small family and all my life have intermittently struggled with bouts... View more

Hi everyone, I am new to BB and I am just looking for advice and support. I have a great life, but just the last month I am starting to feel really lonely and blue. I was born in a small family and all my life have intermittently struggled with bouts of loneliness. My dad has bipolar and that has given me some childhood trauma, although overall he is a good guy but it was hard sometimes. Because my hubby and I moved around quite a bit and I have changed jobs fairly regularly I don't have a large network of local friends. I do try my best, and have met some people through my kids kinder/school/playgroup and also I walk with a lady in our street. I try to keep contact with my friends from earlier years too but they are fairly far away and busy with their own life. I have a brother who is lovely but he is very busy and not awesome with emotional stuff so he is not able to really give me the companionship I crave either.... I am so fortunate to have a wonderful husband and children and hobbies etc that I am passionate about, and financially things are good. But I still feel so alone sometimes and I often feel like I am the one reaching out to others, I just wish more times it was other people taking the initiative so I didn't feel like I am always pushing myself on other people. It's like I always want more than people can give. I am starting to have some dark/negative thoughts and feel worthless and it's not great. I really appreciate any advice- especially in regards to friendship, making a support network etc. Thank you so much to those who read this.

K2 Being shut out
  • replies: 7

Hi, how do people overcome the feelings one experiences when your partner shuts you out of their life...it’s only been days for me but I can’t eat or sleep. I don’t know what she is feeling at all. It was entirely my fault for this outcome. I’m askin... View more

Hi, how do people overcome the feelings one experiences when your partner shuts you out of their life...it’s only been days for me but I can’t eat or sleep. I don’t know what she is feeling at all. It was entirely my fault for this outcome. I’m asking for peoples help with coping strategies please. I have found if I write letters it helps me temporarily...