When does it get better? Feeling broken
I went to my husband for help and showed him the text messages who contacted the manager, but the manager texted my husband saying information I had given me was private, nothing to do with my husband and despite being curious about my personal life, he felt it was inappropriate after he asked me to send information to him. Eventually, he insinuated I was having an affair, it was something he didn’t want to know and he was an innocent victim. He’d write to me and said I made him feel uncomfortable, that I have issues in my marriage but he still wanted to be my friend and support me on a personal basis. He since made accusations that I sent him unwarranted texts, explicit photos and he wouldn’t show evidence of said explicit photos or texts and I didn't send anything like this.
It sounds to me like you were being groomed by this man who used your personal info for his own gain. I'm sorry about your husband in all this too; as you say he's an innocent bystander.
As a victim of previous sexual assault, his actions may not have registered with you as predatory behaviour, so please don't be hard on yourself. For some, self protection needs to be learned after a life of sexual victimisation. You'd benefit by discussing this with your psych and also a legal professional; boundaries have been crossed.