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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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pm251099 Friends- caring or not?
  • replies: 2

Hi all, I’m really not sure if I’m over reacting about this situation but I suppose that’s why I’m looking for perspective on this matter. i have two best friends who I have been close to for about 5 years now. They are the only two people in my frie... View more

Hi all, I’m really not sure if I’m over reacting about this situation but I suppose that’s why I’m looking for perspective on this matter. i have two best friends who I have been close to for about 5 years now. They are the only two people in my friend circle who know about a certain situation that has affected me regarding my family. I told them both in confidentiality and they know that they are the only people that know. However, ever since telling them about the situation I have noticed that they have never followed up on it. They haven’t asked how I am feeling, or where/how the situation has progressed. I have never been someone to openly GO to people shot my problems- I prefer to be prompted to talk about it because I feel like I am a burden talking about an issue if I am not asked about it. Should these friends be considered as caring friends if they haven’t had the common courtesy to ask how it’s going, or should I just put it aside?

Busterbruno Split up
  • replies: 2

My wife of 21 years went away for a 2 weeks back to see her father in the UK. Her step brother who she has met twice before was also staying there as his wife had recently left him. When she came back she told me that she wasnt in love with me anymor... View more

My wife of 21 years went away for a 2 weeks back to see her father in the UK. Her step brother who she has met twice before was also staying there as his wife had recently left him. When she came back she told me that she wasnt in love with me anymore, that I didnt listen and I didnt make her happy. She would complain at me probably every six months that I wasnt passionate enough and I would try for a few days but it never seemed enough. We were both busy with work as well and bringing up 2 children. A week after she told me that she wasnt in love with me, she told me that she was in love with the step brother and that after a day together would shake when he walked in the room. She is moving out and going back to see him in the UK again for a bit with the plan he comes out here permanently later. I'm absolutely devastated as I deeply love her. She wont go to marriage counselling and is actively looking for a rental. It seems like she had a husband off switch one day....it was so sudden to me. To me she is having a mid life crisis but I dont seem to be able to do anything about it. If I touch her she pulls away. Its broken my heart.

Aaron2018 Fifo work effects
  • replies: 2

So I have been a Fifo worker for the past 14 years but for the past two years i was stuck in an office close to home and now that i am away again i have become somewhat of a miserable grump drinking a bottle of wine a night and it is having a massive... View more

So I have been a Fifo worker for the past 14 years but for the past two years i was stuck in an office close to home and now that i am away again i have become somewhat of a miserable grump drinking a bottle of wine a night and it is having a massive affect on my mind and the way i have been feeling about being away. One of the biggest reasons I started this kind of work again was for the money but it is doing a serious number on my head being away from my wife and family this time has been a hell of alot harder than it was 2.5 years ago and i am over it all but every time i mention coming home to the wifey she tells me that i have to stick it out so we can save for our own home finally.

Cant1 My husband can't decide if he is going to leave me
  • replies: 3

I was very closed off for a while due yo my own issues and now he has finally told me how much that has hurt him I have apologised many times. He cannot believe me that it won't happen again. The more I try the more he pulls away. I have told him I l... View more

I was very closed off for a while due yo my own issues and now he has finally told me how much that has hurt him I have apologised many times. He cannot believe me that it won't happen again. The more I try the more he pulls away. I have told him I love him so much and will give him time to make the decision that is right for him. But I know him and he will leave. It hurts so much. Waiting to know is torture

RXBlue Is it just in my head?
  • replies: 7

I have been in a relationship for over 25 year with my partner and we have 3 amazing kids. However over the last 4 years I have been struggling with one of husbands at female work relationships. They both work in different states but meet once every ... View more

I have been in a relationship for over 25 year with my partner and we have 3 amazing kids. However over the last 4 years I have been struggling with one of husbands at female work relationships. They both work in different states but meet once every few months as they are on the same board together. It started when I noticed a secret messaging app on my husbands phone which he stated he needed as part of security for his work. Then my husband entered into an Ironman which is amazing, However when i suggested that I come he told me it was somthing he was doing for himself and it would cost to much for me to travel. The only problem was that the female work colleague just happend to be in the same state and was then there to cheer him on at the finish. Last year My husband went on to a conference in Spain the topic looked intersting so I looked it up on twitter and there was my husband with the same female. I was so so sad and when I questioned my husband he told me nothing is happening its all in my head they are just work colleagues and he didnt tell me because it would just upset me. Which brings me to this week once again another conference with the same female - work related of course but on their day off they are hiring a car together to explore some of the beautiful scenery together. He keeps telling me its just work and I am the only one but I just keep thing the oppisite to the point I can't think, sleep, breath it's been four years and my thoughts are consuming everything I do I feel so overwelhmed. Is it just in my head?

Mummy_leen Should I keep our baby....
  • replies: 17

Hi all I really need to get some insight to opinions. I’m stuck in a pickle and not really sure what to do. Basically I’ve got two children 10 and 6 with my partner and we have been together for close to 13 years now and like all relationships we hav... View more

Hi all I really need to get some insight to opinions. I’m stuck in a pickle and not really sure what to do. Basically I’ve got two children 10 and 6 with my partner and we have been together for close to 13 years now and like all relationships we have had a fair share of issues. Recently we ran back into the same problem as we did 5 years ago which was the same issue that was about to pull us apart. However we worked through it and it wasn’t easy. Once this his issue occurred he did have a thought and asked me out of the blue if I would consider having a third child and at the time I said I wasn’t sure if I was ready to have another child yet. Ideally two was always good for us but I felt he wanted to I don’t know secure me or made sure I was locked down to three kids with him. Or maybe he really wanted a third child and I haven’t being giving it any thought. A month later I found out I was pregnant expecting our third child. Just to paint the picture I had taken a morning after pill and a IUD was inserted not knowing I was pregnant a few weeks into the pregnancy and I didn’t know I was either until a week the iud was in place I felt morning sickness. i took a test and went to the GP to be sure it came back positive I was about 6 weeks at this stage. The problem I have is he wanted to leave this relations before he found out I was pregnant and once he did he find out he still wanted to so he can have his own space. we sat down and discuss about the baby to me I thought it was a blessing in disguise and maybe this was a great way to rekindle everything however he insist that I terminate the pregnancy because he no longer wants to be apart of this family that we built. Im about 11 weeks now and since our discussion but at 9 weeks he hasn’t said much about it and he said if I go through with it he will support me but he won’t be around as he still wants to leave. He does think of I keep the baby it’s only to trap in which is not my intentions. I believe that this baby was a miracle and it happened for a reason. this baby survived the pill and the removal of the IUD. It’s a surivior!!! The problem i face is raising three kids on my own, I do have family that can help but I can’t put the burden on them. I really want to keep this baby but I don’t know what the future will hold and I’m worried I can’t give the best to all three kids. Please give me some advice I need to make a decision to terminate or keep it.... lost and confused.. heart broken

GG57 Adult son will not speak to me
  • replies: 13

Our adult son has ADD he has a partner and 2 children aged 5 and 3. His partner works full time we gift him money so he can be a stay at home Dad. We also bought him a car so he can take his children to and from kindergarten and school. We have 2 dau... View more

Our adult son has ADD he has a partner and 2 children aged 5 and 3. His partner works full time we gift him money so he can be a stay at home Dad. We also bought him a car so he can take his children to and from kindergarten and school. We have 2 daughters who don’t have the issues their brother has. So we allow them to stay at a beach holiday house we have ( I inherited it from my father) They are good girls work hard with their husbands and extremely grateful that they have the use of my fathers house during the school holidays. Recently our son and his partner found out that our daughters are using the house. They already live at the beach about 40minutes from my Dads house. Our son asked if he could use the house also and we said no because he already has money and a car from us plus already lives at the beach. He has dismissed this argument and has texted me a very nasty message saying that I have completely broken his and mine relationship. That I am manipulative narcissist. I have asked our daughters if they view me like this? As I started thinking it’s really the first time I his life that I have said no. So my question is should I respond to this text message or say nothing. So far I haven’t responded. My husband did ring him and ask him to come for lunch so we can sort this situation out. My husband says he needs us more than we need him but that’s not a solution either. His partner I think is also pushing for a breakaway from our family because our daughters and husbands are quite successful with work education etc. So maybe jealousy is there as well. I am so saddened by this situation as our son blames me constantly about his own issues. He was diagnosed with ADD in 1991 put on medication and he managed to get into Uni. He never finished a bit like jobs he would get a job but always got the sack eventually because he didn’t feel like going. He was and still is a gamer buys and sells bit coin.. The sadness is not seeing his children who we adore. So please help us as we are so lost with which way to jump.

_bananaboat_335 i have a possibly fake friend? help?
  • replies: 2

There’s this friend, let’s call them C, who I’ve been close friends with a really long time. I haven’t been in the same school class as them for a while, but we’ve still remained close. This year in our first year of high school we’re in the same cla... View more

There’s this friend, let’s call them C, who I’ve been close friends with a really long time. I haven’t been in the same school class as them for a while, but we’ve still remained close. This year in our first year of high school we’re in the same class as a new person, let’s call them J, and we’ve became good friends with her as well. up until a few weeks ago everything was going great in our class. Then We had to move seats and C sat with J on the other side of the table we were sitting at, leaving me by myself. I don’t have a problem with sitting alone, but the seat change is when it started. Basically C and J became even closer friends, leaving me out and usually doing table partner activities alone.at first I was ok with that, but then C and J started being rude and offensive towards me. I wasn’t really surprised with J, but I’d been good friends with C for ages and I’ve never really seen this sucky-up mean person before. When they are both alone with me they are both really nice and normal, but when they are together they are usually leaving me out and being rude and sometimes bitching about me like I’m not there. I don’t know what to do about this, usually I just start ignoring them becasue i know they want a reaction from me, and I’m also afraid I’ll lash out, but that doesn’t really do me any good. I’m worried that confronting them will start something bad in our friend group, but I’m sick of being treated badly and I don’t have any other friend groups to go to. Someone help please???

LoveSeeker Completely overwhelmed
  • replies: 2

Hi All, I am in desperate need of advice on how to look after myself better. I have recently had a lot of months with difficult decisions, experiences and exhaustion. My work is so busy that I do no longer know how to juggle it all. I usually work si... View more

Hi All, I am in desperate need of advice on how to look after myself better. I have recently had a lot of months with difficult decisions, experiences and exhaustion. My work is so busy that I do no longer know how to juggle it all. I usually work six days a week and dream of work sometimes. In addition, I am in a relationship with a wonderful man, however, since he has not grieved his broken marriage yet, we need to have a break with very little contact so he can get through the grief and commit to us a 100%. I love him dearly and I am scared to lose him, although everything has been absolutely wonderful and I believe we have a real chance of something very special. But the uncertainty coupled with how long it may take him to get through his past is currently killing my spirit. On top of work and private life, I have sustained an injury keeping me from doing what I love, i.e. physical exercise. I feel like my body and mind are crumbling and although I have always been so resilient, I feel like I cannot cope anymore. As the cherry on top, I am about to file for divorce from my husband. I separated last year and was very happy to finally get out. It was an emotionally abusive relationship and I felt sheer relief. I am still very happy and want this divorce but he is pleading and sending me messages about how he believes the separation was a mistake. I do not have the emotional bandwidth to deal with his emotions on top of everything else. I feel completely overwhelmed and I don't know how to handle myself. At work, I find it hard to concentrate and even tolerate being there. I have this urge to run away and just leave everything behind. In saying that, I definitely want to wait it out until my partner is finally free because he is such a beautiful addition to my life. At the moment, we are not seeing each other but that will change soon due to our work. I cannot wait to see him but am terrified of how I shall manage seeing him daily without being with him. I am not sure I can manage this. Sometimes, I have to try and keep myself from crying at work, I just don't know whether I will be able to hold it together. I can't take leave because I have too much work to complete, so it is like a vicious cycle. What can I do? I need to rebuild my energy and strength. I am usually a very happy person but the accumulation of all these difficulties is too much for me. How can I help myself?

Panda70 Loneliness and shame
  • replies: 6

My beautiful wife has left me. My 14yo son no longer stays with us (stays with his mum's/my first wife now). My 11yo can't stay with us now due to all the drama. This is all due to my anger. Not violence but anger although any anger is violence I gue... View more

My beautiful wife has left me. My 14yo son no longer stays with us (stays with his mum's/my first wife now). My 11yo can't stay with us now due to all the drama. This is all due to my anger. Not violence but anger although any anger is violence I guess. I have no one to turn too. I literally have no one as I suffer from social anxiety and therefore have no contacts. I have been unemployed for 5 1/2 months due to the social anxiety and a condition called Hyperidrosis which means I basically sweat (out of my face/head) regardless of temp. I am so alone. My wife will not even speak to me or message me and that pain is unbearable. When we met 6 years ago after my divorce she was my shining light that there was hope. The pain of not being with her is unbearable and I dont know what to do.