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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Em140 My mental illness is taking a toll on my relationship
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, I’m not really sure how to being this so I might start with some background information on the title. So my boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly two years and have been on a roller coaster ever since we left the honeymoon stage. Y... View more

Hi everyone, I’m not really sure how to being this so I might start with some background information on the title. So my boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly two years and have been on a roller coaster ever since we left the honeymoon stage. You see I have experience anxiety, depression and high levels of stress have been with me since I was little. It roots from some family conflict and some negative experience that I had at an early age. This effects my self esteem and ability to self sooth myself. min the begin he was so supportive, let me call him when I was having a moment, didn’t matter if it was 4 in the morning he was there to talk. Then I went on holidays for two weeks and he cheated on me.. three days before our one year.. it’s been hell but I think we’re through it. So we’re now nearly two years in and after an argument he says that he’s not as empathetic as he use to be towards me and my issues. This is because I don’t listen to him, that it’s always the same thing and he doesn’t know what to say to me anymore, it’s happening too frequently. In a way hes right. I can keep calling him in the early hours of the morning (that normally makes the situation worst, he’s grumpy.. I’m grumpy). At the moment I am using strategies such as tapping to destruct myself in I’m the moment of overwhelming. And talking to either him or a free councillor at my uni. Is there anything else Someone can suggest I do? For the sack of my relationship I need to do something Thanks

Scaredandunsure What does it mean? Should i give up?
  • replies: 3

My wife and i met when we were 14 have 3 kids and have been together for 20 years married for 10. About 9 months ago things got really hard for me and suddenly i was struggling with work family life and being a husband i became anti social, angered q... View more

My wife and i met when we were 14 have 3 kids and have been together for 20 years married for 10. About 9 months ago things got really hard for me and suddenly i was struggling with work family life and being a husband i became anti social, angered quickly, yelled at my wife a lot because i was begging her to Spend some time alone at home with me and the kids and she didnt want to listen She thought i was trying to stop her having fun. 6 months of constant arguing and Name calling and accusations i found out i had been dealing with depression, she had kicked me Out of the house at the time and we tried to get back together after that but she ultimately Decided she didnt want to be with me anymore. We have been seperated for over 2 months now And in that time i have been dealing with rumours about her sleeping with what used to be my best friend Now background we used to be close as couples. Him and his wife and me and mine Our marriages pretty much came to an end around the same time and i think the rumours started because of that. I know the rumours arent true and they havent slept together yet. She has admitted to having feelings for him then feeling love for him and now the feelings are getting stronger. She was coming to him as a friend and they both maintain that he was trying to get her to come back to me but over the course of talking about everything they just clicked. I asked her recently about what she felt about the thought of having sex with him to see if she said disgusted and maybe the feelings are just more a saviour complex seeing as though he kind of 'protected' her from me at times and all she said was scared. Im trying to take a positive out of it but any partner you would be about to have sex with you would have some apprehension or fear right? Is she too far gone for me i love her with every part of me and i cant imagine a life without her. But she says she still loves me and doesnt want a divorce yet. Should i move on? Is there any hope?

CreativeGypsy Dealing with an anxious boss
  • replies: 1

I started part-time work in a small family run business 4 months ago, run by husband and wife - the wife is highly strung and anxious, and I am struggling with her behaviour, which is exasperated by COVID19. I have worked with a lot of people during ... View more

I started part-time work in a small family run business 4 months ago, run by husband and wife - the wife is highly strung and anxious, and I am struggling with her behaviour, which is exasperated by COVID19. I have worked with a lot of people during my life but this is difficult, she runs hot and cold and brings her problems to work. There are only 3 of us in the showroom, and I am hoping for advice on how to cope. Thanks.

milk___mad How to tell my mum I want professional help
  • replies: 2

I have been dealing with some type of sadness (on and off) for at least 2 years. I have been denying that have had depression before but I typed it up and I realised that I might have it. After quarantine, I want to go see a therapist or something li... View more

I have been dealing with some type of sadness (on and off) for at least 2 years. I have been denying that have had depression before but I typed it up and I realised that I might have it. After quarantine, I want to go see a therapist or something like that to try and help me, but I don't know how to break it to my mum. She is really nice and supportive of me but I don't want to tell her. She has said a couple things to me (like it’s just my period) when I had told her the morning after I had a really horrible night that I don't think I'm worth anything. She has depression (she has medication for it) and I thought she would be more understanding of it. I love her and I push her away because I don't want her around to see how much of a failure I am. I just need a way to say I want to talk to a professional and not you about my feelings. P.S. I don't think about self-harm or hurting myself in such a way, I just want to talk to a professional about my social anxiety and my harsh thoughts.

Shyone Marriage breakdown with joint loans
  • replies: 16

When your marriage feels like it is breaking down; how do you free yourself from the finanical straps that are holding you there? Basically I would like to seperate for a while from my husband, who is sleeping separately from me anyway - in a differe... View more

When your marriage feels like it is breaking down; how do you free yourself from the finanical straps that are holding you there? Basically I would like to seperate for a while from my husband, who is sleeping separately from me anyway - in a different thread - and I am not coping very well and would like to rent somewhere but because everything is either in my name or both I feel trapped.

Livvy123 How to work through your relationship following infidelity?
  • replies: 3

My partner and I were together for a year but then broke up as we were both really depressed and became unhappy in our relationship (felt like we didn't meet each other's needs and were actually unhappy about our lives but blamed the relationship). A... View more

My partner and I were together for a year but then broke up as we were both really depressed and became unhappy in our relationship (felt like we didn't meet each other's needs and were actually unhappy about our lives but blamed the relationship). About 3 months ago we decided to get back together but before this, my partner told me that before we start this relationship I need to know that he cheated on me (kissed a girl from work) about 3 months after we first got together (reason: he couldn't communicate his needs to me and it was a mistake but just felt like I didn't appreciate him - which I didn't in hindsight). Following our break up, another girl from his work expressed her feelings to him and they dated for 3 weeks but that ended quickly as it was a rebound and he realised he wasn't ready and didn't want it. I was extremely upset but I decided I wanted to be with him and work through it and I came clean about feeling guilty about sleeping with someone else as he pursued me initially and lying to him about it our whole relationship. I have really horrible anxiety and have always been insecure and as expected it's only gotten worse now. I love my partner and he as actually been wonderful! Anytime I need to talk about it he listens and never tells me to "get over it already" and whatever I need from him, he does (eg. be more honest with me when a girl messages me, lets me check his phone if I really need to). We both feel like our needs are finally being met and we are openly communicating. However, I'm starting to get really upset with myself because I just can't move on! I'm constantly anxious, insecure and crying because I read into it when he's having a bad day at work thinking it's me and automatically think that he wants to leave me. I get anxious anytime a female speaks to him that he might think she's better than me. I have dreams about him cheating on me and have started having doubts about my own ability to remain loyal and constant flashbacks about what happened and picturing it (almost PTSD like symptoms). I'm over feeling like this and just want to work towards becoming less insecure and anxious about my partner and my relationship but I'm so overwhelmed and don't know how! Any advice would be much appreciated on how to move on with my relationship and also advice on maybe ways to help cope with the anxiety and insecurities. Thanks!

RichardW007 Why am I here?
  • replies: 3

What is the reason for my existence? I am now alone just bought 2 two kittens yesterday to keep me company, am loney, sad, regret so many decisions over my life, have two kids from two wives, miserable, now separated, lonely, but I have no money prob... View more

What is the reason for my existence? I am now alone just bought 2 two kittens yesterday to keep me company, am loney, sad, regret so many decisions over my life, have two kids from two wives, miserable, now separated, lonely, but I have no money problems so it is not that. I answered my question about why are we here, it is to reproduce and die so our species can continue at the expense of all other species on the planet. That is easy to work out. But I just don't know why I should bother to continue. I am lonely, I don't want to meet another partner, I want to divorce my wife whom I separated from five years ago and reunit with my overseas gf I meet in 2016.

Outoffaith2020 Promises a baby and then takes it back.
  • replies: 4

I have been with my fiance for 2 years and I love him but he keeps putting the breaks on our relationship. We had a venue ready for our wedding, then he refused to pay the deposit. 2 weeks before our engagement party was my graduation from my degree ... View more

I have been with my fiance for 2 years and I love him but he keeps putting the breaks on our relationship. We had a venue ready for our wedding, then he refused to pay the deposit. 2 weeks before our engagement party was my graduation from my degree I worked hard for 8.5 years. He started a fight with me over a joke my dad said and he completely ruined my day. I spent the whole family dinner in tears and cancelled my wedding dress appointment for the following weekend. Now he knows I always wanted a baby and he asked me to get my immunizations up and start taking pre-natal vitimans. We also started getting books and I have been reading up on what is the best way non how to conceive. Today I asked him how we were going to support our family. I don't have much in savings but I own my own home. He Dosent have any property, earns a decent wage and has 9k savings. He also currently lives with his dad and pays $50 a fortnight in board. His response was I though you'd be paying for the baby. I said to him well I want to work as a team and asked if when he moves in fully (currently he lives here 4 nights out of 7) would he be happy with $100 a fortnight and that would be towards bills and food. He got annoyed and went back to his dad's. Now he is saying he wants to pump the breaks again. I'm quite hurt because all I've ever wanted is a family of my own and I feel like he has ripped it out of my arms. I am at the point where I don't know whether to try and work through it or pack his stuff up and except that I will never have the family I wanted and I will be turning 30 with out being a mother.

PsychedelicFur I’m eccentric yet I don’t have many friends
  • replies: 5

Hello there, within times of quarantine I have suddenly come to the ultimate realisation that people of my age bracket don’t particularly care about me. I’m unique. And when I’m at school I don’t really have many friends or I feel highly uncomfortabl... View more

Hello there, within times of quarantine I have suddenly come to the ultimate realisation that people of my age bracket don’t particularly care about me. I’m unique. And when I’m at school I don’t really have many friends or I feel highly uncomfortable around people of my age bracket because I don’t seem to relate or understand them at all. I am an old soul so this does make it excruciatingly difficult. I have my own style and get constantly told when I go out into the city or the shops that I look amazing, yet why do the students at my school seem to not want to approach me or genuinely embrace or establish a kindred spirit connection? I try with people but they seem to speak to as a substitute for their friend, and when their friend suddenly reappears they no longer converse words with me. what should I simply do? psychedelicfur.

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