Relationship and family issues

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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

jye99 3 years for nothing....
  • replies: 3

So basically my girlfriend and i were dating for around 3 and half years the relationship was really good but we only had one downfall...distance. we had distance between us for 80% of our relationship we met up a few times here and there but everyth... View more

So basically my girlfriend and i were dating for around 3 and half years the relationship was really good but we only had one downfall...distance. we had distance between us for 80% of our relationship we met up a few times here and there but everything seemed really good we had fights like every normal couple but i felt like these fights she just added them up like a tally every time we argued i felt like i lost a small piece of her nearly every single time after an argument she would almost be a little bit more distant and not her self...anyway things went on pretty normally though we were both happy she told me a week before she left me that she was the happiest she's ever been with me. until something changed one day i woke up i called her before she went to the gym she was super excited that i had called her when she wasn't expecting me too and it was awesome hearing how happy she was....but things changed after that call ended and she went to the gym and called me after but something was off, she sounded dull and different.Hours after this call she all of sudden started to become distant...very distant, one word replies, not replying fast like she usually did, not calling me on her lunch break or when she finished work and sounded really dull when i called her. This continued on for a few days later until she told me after i had asked her is everything okay that she needed her own space and that "its not you its me" she told me she wanted me to focus on my self more instead of always focusing on her and that we needed a break/breakup because she felt like i was "suffocating her" with too much love even though we're on opposite sides of the country, after the breakup i was destroyed i couldn't believe it, it just wasn't like her she just became like a stranger to me she treated me like i was a random person to her, she blocked me on everything but after 1 day i messaged her on instagram just trying to reach out and apologize for whatever i had done and that we could work it out as a couple but wasn't expecting her to reply, but she did. we talked that day and for the rest of the week up until now about work and exercising among other things but talk about our relationship was forbidden. she told me today that "this wasnt what i imagined time to our selves meant" and continued to say that "maybe we should just cut contact for a while" now im 100% all for this but i can't help but feel like shes just saying this so she can move on without me....help

Nelstar I feel trapped
  • replies: 2

I’ve been with my husband for 13 years and have 2 children together. I moved to his home state 10 years ago, after our first son was born as he said it was a safer place to raise children. After 10 years of being here I’m homesick and what makes it w... View more

I’ve been with my husband for 13 years and have 2 children together. I moved to his home state 10 years ago, after our first son was born as he said it was a safer place to raise children. After 10 years of being here I’m homesick and what makes it worse is that all my family live in my home state and we only have his parents here for support. I’ve discussed with husband about wanting to go back to my home state and he flatly refuses to move. I feel like I’m trapped and he won’t even consider my feelings and how lonely I am and how much I miss all my family. My husband does fifo work and has worked away now for almost 8 years in the very state I want to move back too. We pay for flights and accommodation and pay up to $15000 a year for this, which we could be saving if we just moved there. Am I being unreasonable ? Do you think I am being selfish for wanting to do what I want to do considering I’ve done 10 years here ? Really I feel my only options are just continually put up with living here and being lonely or separate from my husband and go through the courts and see what’s the outcome would be with that. I love my kids so much and would never leave them here. Help

Katyonthehamsterwheel Twice the loss
  • replies: 20

I was pregnant and lost my baby. Then two weeks later my partner left. I don't even know how I've held it together since. I don't have anyone. I am estranged from my family and I don't have any friends or a job, because I have bad anxiety. It was my ... View more

I was pregnant and lost my baby. Then two weeks later my partner left. I don't even know how I've held it together since. I don't have anyone. I am estranged from my family and I don't have any friends or a job, because I have bad anxiety. It was my anxiety that drove my partner away. I don't even blame him. But I'm just so sick of being alone. I literally feel sick from loneliness.

April30 How to get over a guy..
  • replies: 28

Im friends with this guy and I really like him as more than friends, but I know we could never work out together, and that hurts me so much but I can't get myself to get over him.. I've heard the only way to get over a guy is to just stop talking to ... View more

Im friends with this guy and I really like him as more than friends, but I know we could never work out together, and that hurts me so much but I can't get myself to get over him.. I've heard the only way to get over a guy is to just stop talking to or having anything to do with them. But I don't want to lose the friendship.. So I don't want to do that.. But this is hurting me so much.. But is that the only way to get yourself to move on?

Mum7 Autism and denial
  • replies: 4

Hi i have 5 kids 3yrs ago i was told my child was autistic so i started the process of having her assessed and diagnosed. I told my inlaws as i have no family and my father inlaw said thats cow dung and you dont look autistic you have serious mental ... View more

Hi i have 5 kids 3yrs ago i was told my child was autistic so i started the process of having her assessed and diagnosed. I told my inlaws as i have no family and my father inlaw said thats cow dung and you dont look autistic you have serious mental issues. My 6 yr old has also been diagnosed and have 3 other children and myself off for an assesment as well. At Christmas last year i again tried to explain autism my sister inlaw said i was having a psychotic episode and to call police all because i would not smack my son.who i believe is autistic. This all happened approx 7 hrs and i had to drive home. NOW they want to see the children again but refuse to accept autism and say im mentall ill.

giggywick I cant make meaningful relationships because i dont value humans like i value animals
  • replies: 2

So this is gonna sound pretty creepy, you'll probably think im insane, like a discount Jeffrey Dahmer but i do not place value on human life and i dont know why i cant love people however i love animals and i even get upset about accidentally steppin... View more

So this is gonna sound pretty creepy, you'll probably think im insane, like a discount Jeffrey Dahmer but i do not place value on human life and i dont know why i cant love people however i love animals and i even get upset about accidentally stepping on an ant. I have diagnosed Aspergers syndrome so that may explain it a little but i dont know if thats all of it, i just want an explanation of why im like this and maybe a way i can deal with it because it makes me upset to think about things like animals being hurt and it doesn't stop. I cant make meaningful relationships with anyone because i cant stop thinking about the fact that they have contributed to animals being harmed, even if thats just because they use products that they dont know harm them. My friend in high school once killed a fly because it was irritating her and i punched her, i wanted to end the friendship and i hated her. I cant love myself either because i know that my very existence has put animals at risk. I dont know if i can feel love towards humans, i dont think i feel empathy towards them but whenever i see anything about animals being hurt i get so angry i start sobbing and it never stops because i know that animals are always being hurt and theres nothing i can do about it. I hate nearly all people i meet because it always comes out that they dont feel the same sympathy for anything accept for other humans and i cant change that perspective. Im sorry if this isn't exactly what this forum is for, i know this is most likely for coming to terms with toxic relationships or family troubles but i didnt know where else to put this post.

Oceanblu Mental illness, stigma and bullying
  • replies: 2

Hi, all - I wasn't sure where to post this, so apologies if this is not the appropriate place. Ouch. I received a text message from the friend/team-mate of a man I was in an on/off relationship with, over several years, until recently...a cruel, mani... View more

Hi, all - I wasn't sure where to post this, so apologies if this is not the appropriate place. Ouch. I received a text message from the friend/team-mate of a man I was in an on/off relationship with, over several years, until recently...a cruel, manipulative man (and thanks to the friend who told me to Google 'gaslighting'!! ) who, for some reason, I kept going back to. This 'relationship' in recent times was 'virtual' only - but overlapped him having a girlfriend who, he said, he had no intention of leaving, but we had a "bond that couldn't be broken". This man had told me, on numerous occasions, that I was 'psycho', 'nuts', and that no-one else would touch me as he had told them all as much. Recently though, when I told him I was being treated for depression, he told me he didn't think it was necessary, as I was mentally strong, and just needed to exercise more. WTA? I'm not proud of myself, but I felt the only way out was to make it that he would never want to contact me again...so I outed him. I have never had so much as a conversation with the author of the text, she doesn't know me personally, but she had previously shown herself up to making mischief - so I let her know and thanked her for her interest. I can only assume this vitriolic response is as a result of rumours my ex has made in order to make himself look good. So now, I don't feel I can attend this Club, and I am concerned about the effects this gossip will have on my ability to participate in the sport I love, or even to socialise there as I think it may nudge them into increasing the volume. Part of my depression is an urge to withdraw so this has been a massive backward step just as I was just starting to feel better. Not that I believe I have behaved in any way close to what they seem to be discussing - but it got me reflecting on the nature of this illness; I don't notice her making fun of the breast cancer for which I was recently treated. And if I decide to pursue this as a bullying complaint - well, it seems likely I'm going to be dismissed as crazy. I feel so alone.

Guest_9043 Nieces Graduation-Cannot attend. Feeling very sad and hurt.
  • replies: 3

It is my nieces Year 6 Graduation on the 10th Dec. I got an invite to go but decided not to as I am not well due to a nervous breakdown about past childhood abuse and would not help me seeing the perps with no support. I attended her Kindergarten Gra... View more

It is my nieces Year 6 Graduation on the 10th Dec. I got an invite to go but decided not to as I am not well due to a nervous breakdown about past childhood abuse and would not help me seeing the perps with no support. I attended her Kindergarten Graduation, I attended when she started her first day of school and I have tried as much as possible to remain in her life and know whats happening for her. I couldnt' take anymore abuse. I am barely coping with my childhood stuff and now have to deal with the many years of control over me when it came to seeing Mia. Even reading those words breaks my heart into pieces. For those who have been reading my posts would know I recently cut contact with my mother and my father doesn't exist to me. I know that Mia will be fine with me not attending. I have had to work through that which has been very hard for me. I have to keep myself safe though. I have bought Mia gifts for her graduation and a card. I will be sending them off tomorrow. I bought her a diary to write in saying you are one in a million, I bought her a book to write in titled writing my future. I bought her a unicorn figurine to hold onto when she is nervous and as a reminder that I believe in her and two very nice ballpoint pens. I wrapped it up in puppy dog gift wrap as I know she loves dogs. I guess it is my way of showing her how much I love her and a way of having my influence in her life. She is old enough to send emails now so we occasionally email. I have made sure she knows throughout her life how much I do love her and will always be there for her. I feel immense anger towards my sister for robbing me of someone that meant everything to me. I still cry over it. It wasn't enough for both my parents to steal my childhood and young adulthood but my sister decided to take it one step further and rob me of my niece and also rob my niece of me. I never had any children of my own and never will so having Mia although I respected her mother and her mother doing the raising, I felt Mia was my little piece of joy that I could be an aunt to her. I had many hopes and dreams and the love I had and still have for Mia was akin to a mothers love. I am slowly but very painfully letting go of Mia a bit more. She is 12 now and she knows where I am and she knows I will always be there for her. I have to take care of my broken heart and that I have fallen to pieces over it. I can take no more. Need some support. Thanks.

goldenlocks WHAT IS HIS PROBLEM?
  • replies: 5

He has a restraining order against me, but he says to me: "I have always liked you but I have kept it from you."

He has a restraining order against me, but he says to me: "I have always liked you but I have kept it from you."

Dimitra Alone and confused
  • replies: 1

I love my husband (like a father figure) and have two little kids with him. Life has been financially comfortable but very lonely. I met someone else who feels more suited to who I am today and has similar mindset, goals and issues. I told my husband... View more

I love my husband (like a father figure) and have two little kids with him. Life has been financially comfortable but very lonely. I met someone else who feels more suited to who I am today and has similar mindset, goals and issues. I told my husband about this attraction and we both felt I needed to move out.That was 5 months ago. Im still in limbo - scared to move forward and scared to 'stay'. Has anyone ever experienced this?