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Should I get an abortion due to Stage 3&4 restrictions causing relationship breakdown and loss of job

Community Member

I am currently 20 weeks pregnant and have been experiencing a lot of anxiety due yo COVID and now due to lockdown in Melbourne I think I am depressed.

My partner and I fight, I lost my job and my partners hours reduced. We are renting and building a home so we have rent and mortgage to pay every month. This was ok when i was working but now that i have no job we dont have much money.

Before the lockdown, i still was in good spirits because I could do river walks with my family and friends (at differebnt times) and I could still go to my favorite Vegan cafe and get take away and fresh juice.

The places i enjoy are more than 5km from my home. We cant afford to live in the inner suburbs.

I havent seen my family or friends in weeks and ive stopped answering phone calls because i have nothing to say.

I havent been to see my Doctor because i am scared i will get covid and give it to my child.

I also have fallen into the habit of not leaving the house any more since we only have 1 hour outside.

My family is not rich and can't support me if I was to be a single mum.

It is strange to think that in January 2020 my partner and I were feeling over the moon to have finally been able to buy land and afford to build our own home, to then try and have a baby because we want a family to now wondering if we caneven afford to be home owners and raise a child.

The stage 3 restrictions still had my partner bringing in a decent income but with stage 4 we can barely afford to feed ourselves. I dont know if it will be like this for a long time. Our government hasnt given me any clue as to what is going on with the economy and I dont know what to do.

Should I just get an abortion? Am i even allowed to in Victoria at 20 weeks?
I really deep down dont want to and I dont feel it is the right thing to do but I am scared to raise a child in this world.
7 Replies 7

Hi Crose,

I'm really sorry that hear that your life has been so negatively impacted by these restrictions. It definitely sounds like that you have a lot on your plate on the moment and I can understand why would be feeling so confused and overwhelmed.

In such a difficult situation like this, I think that there really isn't a right answer, and all you and your partner can do is to try and figure out what's best for you as individuals but also as a couple, with the information that you have now in this present situation. I'm hearing that right now you haven't really felt like talking to anyone, but I think that it would be helpful to consider even having a phone appointment with your GP just to discuss what your options are, or to share some of these worries with anyone in your life that you trust.

No matter what you feel like doing, please know that you can always reach out to us here and that this is a safe space to talk about what's going on for you without judgment. I will open up this thread to the rest of our lovely community to chime in and I hope you can take care of yourself in the meantime.

Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Crose..


You’re question is one that only you and your partner can decide on...I’m so sorry we cannot tell you what to do...although I think that 20 weeks is a bit late for an abortion..I’m not to sure on that though..

There are a few ways to cut the costs of your new arriva, when your baby is born..You can feed baby yourself, which saves hundreds of dollars in formulas....also you can get your family and friends to buy cloth nappies, and a nappy soaking bucket for gifts for baby..lThat also will save you hundreds of dollars..the throw away nappies are very expensive...Then baby is born if you find another job, maybe your parents and your partner’s parents can babysit for you...

We have to believe that this pandemic will end and life will go on as normal...Our scientists are working so hard on a vaccines and the scientists all over the world...it will end..

Please try hard to not isolate yourself by not going out for the hour allowed, taking walks is good for your mental health as well as your physical health...answering phone calls from your family and friends is also important to your mental health because you’re talking to people who love and care for you...Please try very hard sweety to speak to those that love you and take daily walks..for you, your partner and your precious baby..,

Please talk here anytime Crose that you feel up to it..we want to help you and hopefully we can talk you through this journey your on..

My kindest thoughts with much care..


Community Member
Thank you, i think I will speak to my GP. I don't feel I can fully express myself to my family or even my partner what I have expressed here. Very grateful for having this service available

Community Member
Thank you so much, those tips are verg helpful. I like the idea of cloth nappies as well because they are environmentally friendly too.

I really needed to hear what you said about believing the pandemic to end. After thinking on this today, i realize most of my fears do stem from the thought and fear that this pandemic won't end and being in lockdown. Its hard for me to vision a way forward.

Im really glad I wrote on this forum. I don't feel judged. I really have been judging and shaming myself for even having these thoughts.

I think tomorrow I will go for a walk and get some fresh air.

Community Member

Thankyou for sharing your story at this time of need. First of all congratulations on being pregnant. I am a mother of 2 boys and it's the best thing that has ever happened to me. I know you do not feel this now, but l want you to know that holding a baby in your arms will be the greatest gift. Please seek help from your doctor. You can call them and even get a telehealth call over the phone...answer calls from your family and friends, perhaps you can put your mortgage on hold for now. The banks are allowing this. Sit your partner down and explain your fears and feelings. Being pregnant as well, your emotions are all over the place. Try and go for walks and seek help.
Let us know how you are going....take care !

Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Dear Crose,

Thank you very much for letting us know how your doing..

Try hard lovely Crose to not judging yourself...You’re afraid for your beautiful baby, and that’s what mothers do...We actually start being a parent well before baby is born...and continue to worry about them their entire lives..

I believe that the world cannot and will not stay in this pandemic much longer..We have brilliant scientists and Doctors all over the world working on vaccinations...Just like when polio started..the world was afraid it would never end..but it did with a vaccine..this will end the same..

Im so very happy to hear that you will go out for a walk tomorrow ..I’m very proud of you for saying you will...

Please try hard to enjoy your pregnancy, and enjoy the expectation of becoming a new mum ..

Please keep talking here when you feel up to it...We are here to help you all we can....

Sending you my care and kind thoughts..


Hi Crose,

I am so sorry to hear this lock down and pandemic has hit your little family so hard. As a Mum, all I can say is the fact you are already worrying about being able to provide for your child and be a good parent in these tough times means you already are a good parent. Your baby will not know any different except the love that you can give it. Most the time it doesn't seem like there is a way out, but there always is.

This pandemic will end, but I can see how the comments and what gets played out to us can have you thinking otherwise. All my family is in lock down as well and they don't have half of what you do going on and they are struggling too. It's mentally tough to literally have your whole world paused through no cause of your own.

Please stay strong and seek counselling from your GP or even Relationships Australia in relation to your relationship with your partner. They are free too. A lot of GP's are doing virtual appointments and most don't allow people with covid symptoms into the common area. You can always ring them first or try and get a first up appointment if you're worried so you are the first one there with a 12 hour gap from the last person.

There is an online doctor service called GP2U and Doctors On Call who are 100% virtual. You could get a referral from them for a mental health plan too via Medicare.

I hope things will be ok and will improve for you and you can welcome your beautiful baby in 20 weeks time.