Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Announcement Icon
You can win one of three $200 gift cards. Complete our survey by 5pm, 30 June 2024 AEST to enter the draw. Your response will be anonymous so you can't be identified.

Pinned discussions

Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

Scaredandunsure What does it mean? Should i give up?
  • replies: 3

My wife and i met when we were 14 have 3 kids and have been together for 20 years married for 10. About 9 months ago things got really hard for me and suddenly i was struggling with work family life and being a husband i became anti social, angered q... View more

My wife and i met when we were 14 have 3 kids and have been together for 20 years married for 10. About 9 months ago things got really hard for me and suddenly i was struggling with work family life and being a husband i became anti social, angered quickly, yelled at my wife a lot because i was begging her to Spend some time alone at home with me and the kids and she didnt want to listen She thought i was trying to stop her having fun. 6 months of constant arguing and Name calling and accusations i found out i had been dealing with depression, she had kicked me Out of the house at the time and we tried to get back together after that but she ultimately Decided she didnt want to be with me anymore. We have been seperated for over 2 months now And in that time i have been dealing with rumours about her sleeping with what used to be my best friend Now background we used to be close as couples. Him and his wife and me and mine Our marriages pretty much came to an end around the same time and i think the rumours started because of that. I know the rumours arent true and they havent slept together yet. She has admitted to having feelings for him then feeling love for him and now the feelings are getting stronger. She was coming to him as a friend and they both maintain that he was trying to get her to come back to me but over the course of talking about everything they just clicked. I asked her recently about what she felt about the thought of having sex with him to see if she said disgusted and maybe the feelings are just more a saviour complex seeing as though he kind of 'protected' her from me at times and all she said was scared. Im trying to take a positive out of it but any partner you would be about to have sex with you would have some apprehension or fear right? Is she too far gone for me i love her with every part of me and i cant imagine a life without her. But she says she still loves me and doesnt want a divorce yet. Should i move on? Is there any hope?

CreativeGypsy Dealing with an anxious boss
  • replies: 1

I started part-time work in a small family run business 4 months ago, run by husband and wife - the wife is highly strung and anxious, and I am struggling with her behaviour, which is exasperated by COVID19. I have worked with a lot of people during ... View more

I started part-time work in a small family run business 4 months ago, run by husband and wife - the wife is highly strung and anxious, and I am struggling with her behaviour, which is exasperated by COVID19. I have worked with a lot of people during my life but this is difficult, she runs hot and cold and brings her problems to work. There are only 3 of us in the showroom, and I am hoping for advice on how to cope. Thanks.

milk___mad How to tell my mum I want professional help
  • replies: 2

I have been dealing with some type of sadness (on and off) for at least 2 years. I have been denying that have had depression before but I typed it up and I realised that I might have it. After quarantine, I want to go see a therapist or something li... View more

I have been dealing with some type of sadness (on and off) for at least 2 years. I have been denying that have had depression before but I typed it up and I realised that I might have it. After quarantine, I want to go see a therapist or something like that to try and help me, but I don't know how to break it to my mum. She is really nice and supportive of me but I don't want to tell her. She has said a couple things to me (like it’s just my period) when I had told her the morning after I had a really horrible night that I don't think I'm worth anything. She has depression (she has medication for it) and I thought she would be more understanding of it. I love her and I push her away because I don't want her around to see how much of a failure I am. I just need a way to say I want to talk to a professional and not you about my feelings. P.S. I don't think about self-harm or hurting myself in such a way, I just want to talk to a professional about my social anxiety and my harsh thoughts.

Shyone Marriage breakdown with joint loans
  • replies: 16

When your marriage feels like it is breaking down; how do you free yourself from the finanical straps that are holding you there? Basically I would like to seperate for a while from my husband, who is sleeping separately from me anyway - in a differe... View more

When your marriage feels like it is breaking down; how do you free yourself from the finanical straps that are holding you there? Basically I would like to seperate for a while from my husband, who is sleeping separately from me anyway - in a different thread - and I am not coping very well and would like to rent somewhere but because everything is either in my name or both I feel trapped.

Livvy123 How to work through your relationship following infidelity?
  • replies: 3

My partner and I were together for a year but then broke up as we were both really depressed and became unhappy in our relationship (felt like we didn't meet each other's needs and were actually unhappy about our lives but blamed the relationship). A... View more

My partner and I were together for a year but then broke up as we were both really depressed and became unhappy in our relationship (felt like we didn't meet each other's needs and were actually unhappy about our lives but blamed the relationship). About 3 months ago we decided to get back together but before this, my partner told me that before we start this relationship I need to know that he cheated on me (kissed a girl from work) about 3 months after we first got together (reason: he couldn't communicate his needs to me and it was a mistake but just felt like I didn't appreciate him - which I didn't in hindsight). Following our break up, another girl from his work expressed her feelings to him and they dated for 3 weeks but that ended quickly as it was a rebound and he realised he wasn't ready and didn't want it. I was extremely upset but I decided I wanted to be with him and work through it and I came clean about feeling guilty about sleeping with someone else as he pursued me initially and lying to him about it our whole relationship. I have really horrible anxiety and have always been insecure and as expected it's only gotten worse now. I love my partner and he as actually been wonderful! Anytime I need to talk about it he listens and never tells me to "get over it already" and whatever I need from him, he does (eg. be more honest with me when a girl messages me, lets me check his phone if I really need to). We both feel like our needs are finally being met and we are openly communicating. However, I'm starting to get really upset with myself because I just can't move on! I'm constantly anxious, insecure and crying because I read into it when he's having a bad day at work thinking it's me and automatically think that he wants to leave me. I get anxious anytime a female speaks to him that he might think she's better than me. I have dreams about him cheating on me and have started having doubts about my own ability to remain loyal and constant flashbacks about what happened and picturing it (almost PTSD like symptoms). I'm over feeling like this and just want to work towards becoming less insecure and anxious about my partner and my relationship but I'm so overwhelmed and don't know how! Any advice would be much appreciated on how to move on with my relationship and also advice on maybe ways to help cope with the anxiety and insecurities. Thanks!

RichardW007 Why am I here?
  • replies: 3

What is the reason for my existence? I am now alone just bought 2 two kittens yesterday to keep me company, am loney, sad, regret so many decisions over my life, have two kids from two wives, miserable, now separated, lonely, but I have no money prob... View more

What is the reason for my existence? I am now alone just bought 2 two kittens yesterday to keep me company, am loney, sad, regret so many decisions over my life, have two kids from two wives, miserable, now separated, lonely, but I have no money problems so it is not that. I answered my question about why are we here, it is to reproduce and die so our species can continue at the expense of all other species on the planet. That is easy to work out. But I just don't know why I should bother to continue. I am lonely, I don't want to meet another partner, I want to divorce my wife whom I separated from five years ago and reunit with my overseas gf I meet in 2016.

Outoffaith2020 Promises a baby and then takes it back.
  • replies: 4

I have been with my fiance for 2 years and I love him but he keeps putting the breaks on our relationship. We had a venue ready for our wedding, then he refused to pay the deposit. 2 weeks before our engagement party was my graduation from my degree ... View more

I have been with my fiance for 2 years and I love him but he keeps putting the breaks on our relationship. We had a venue ready for our wedding, then he refused to pay the deposit. 2 weeks before our engagement party was my graduation from my degree I worked hard for 8.5 years. He started a fight with me over a joke my dad said and he completely ruined my day. I spent the whole family dinner in tears and cancelled my wedding dress appointment for the following weekend. Now he knows I always wanted a baby and he asked me to get my immunizations up and start taking pre-natal vitimans. We also started getting books and I have been reading up on what is the best way non how to conceive. Today I asked him how we were going to support our family. I don't have much in savings but I own my own home. He Dosent have any property, earns a decent wage and has 9k savings. He also currently lives with his dad and pays $50 a fortnight in board. His response was I though you'd be paying for the baby. I said to him well I want to work as a team and asked if when he moves in fully (currently he lives here 4 nights out of 7) would he be happy with $100 a fortnight and that would be towards bills and food. He got annoyed and went back to his dad's. Now he is saying he wants to pump the breaks again. I'm quite hurt because all I've ever wanted is a family of my own and I feel like he has ripped it out of my arms. I am at the point where I don't know whether to try and work through it or pack his stuff up and except that I will never have the family I wanted and I will be turning 30 with out being a mother.

PsychedelicFur I’m eccentric yet I don’t have many friends
  • replies: 5

Hello there, within times of quarantine I have suddenly come to the ultimate realisation that people of my age bracket don’t particularly care about me. I’m unique. And when I’m at school I don’t really have many friends or I feel highly uncomfortabl... View more

Hello there, within times of quarantine I have suddenly come to the ultimate realisation that people of my age bracket don’t particularly care about me. I’m unique. And when I’m at school I don’t really have many friends or I feel highly uncomfortable around people of my age bracket because I don’t seem to relate or understand them at all. I am an old soul so this does make it excruciatingly difficult. I have my own style and get constantly told when I go out into the city or the shops that I look amazing, yet why do the students at my school seem to not want to approach me or genuinely embrace or establish a kindred spirit connection? I try with people but they seem to speak to as a substitute for their friend, and when their friend suddenly reappears they no longer converse words with me. what should I simply do? psychedelicfur.

Nm123 Hi am a new member.
  • replies: 3

I am feeling very depressed and sad not feel like interested in anything coz of my verbally abusive husband. I feel cheated coz of his lies.

I am feeling very depressed and sad not feel like interested in anything coz of my verbally abusive husband. I feel cheated coz of his lies.

LosingFaith Renting, moving interstate and teenage daughter.
  • replies: 21

Hi guys, I am in need of some advice. I am 40 yrs old with lots of medical problems. I have a 16 yr old still living at home, 2 cats and 1 dog. I have been in a long distance relationship now for almost 2 years. I currently rent a property which is g... View more

Hi guys, I am in need of some advice. I am 40 yrs old with lots of medical problems. I have a 16 yr old still living at home, 2 cats and 1 dog. I have been in a long distance relationship now for almost 2 years. I currently rent a property which is going on the market and I don’t really want to stay here. I’m not working but I’m currently studying to better myself. My 16 yr old doesn’t like my partner and has major anxiety/anger issues that I am trying to cope with. I want to move interstate to be with my girlfriend, to have a better life etc, but my daughter won’t allow me to. She says if I move interstate she wont come and she’ll take the animals and either live with her dad or older sister. She also refuses to go to school, she doesn’t have any friends, she won’t leave the house unless she really has to etc. She constantly argues with me, tells me to leave my partner and to find someone else. We currently see a psychologist for her issues but she thinks she doesn’t need to. I miss my girlfriend, my daughter won’t cooperate with me, I don’t have a mum to talk to, my nan and Aunty have their own issues and my eldest daughter just doesn’t understand. With everything going on, my mental health has deteriorated. I’m not coping very well at all. Do you think I’m being selfish for wanting to move in with/move closer to my partner?