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Should I tell her or not?!

Community Member

think my life as husband and ever-present father is about to be over.

last week I got severly drunk At a work party. Can not remember when I last was that drunk. Very sketchy memory, ended up in a brothel and went ahead. Was using protection of course but of course you can't ever know.

Still not told my wife.

Got a beautiful wife and 2 great kids.

Quick background:

Bipolar 2, Treatment resistant depression, SUD, my father and brother exited life by own hand.

I know what the right thing to do would be and it really hurts every minute thinking of what I've caused. I even went to bed with my wife the day after.

Anyway I drown my emotions until I get my std results next week. Or should I just tell her now??

She would divorce me for sure.



3 Replies 3

Hey there Roger Waters,

Welcome to the forums and thank you or making a post and sharing what is going on for you. Its sounds like you are going through something something quite difficult and confusing. We hope you recieve some support and guidance here on the forums. In the meantime, if you are wanting some support from a counsellor to talk through things we would recommend our friends at Mensline Australia who are available 24 hours on 1800 041 642. Sometimes it can help to talk things through and get some clarity on a situation that is causing us distress. 

We hope you are doing okay tonight. 


Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Roger, welcome to the site.

I understand your concern regarding going to a brothel and the problems it may cause at home, this may happen, especially if there are already problems or any type of conflict already happening or alternatively, if a sexual relationship between you and your wife hasn't been satisfied appropriately.

Alcohol and/or SUD (substance use disorder) addiction can create major problems at home if your wife is totally against it, then going to a brothel will cause problems and won't be easy to explain the reason why.

By consuming alcohol or 'drowning your emotions' is not going to solve the situation, simply because whether or not you are clear of STD, it's possible you are going to celebrate or commiserate and whether alcohol has been a concern, I don't know about.

If you were intoxicated then it could be quite easy to go along with your other workmates, in the spur of the moment, but it still could be something you were against doing.

If you would like to get back to us so we can talk some more, then please do, there is no criticism here on this site, we have all been through our own experiences which we certainly only wished didn't happen.

Hope to hear back from you.


Community Champion
Community Champion

Roger ,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for being honest and sharing your story.

I have bipolar and for many years I was denial and did things that caused chaos in my life and affected my reputation. When manic I would sometimes drink but I would be just as impulsive without drinking.

were you high or depressed as well as drunk at

the party.

It is your decision whether to tell and try seeking extra help .
It would be good to hear from you, if you want to post again.