Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

Start a discussion

Chica56 Alcoholic partner verbally and emotionally abusive
  • replies: 4

I’ve been with my partner for 22 years and he’s been a high functioning alcoholic for around 12 years. He has drinking binges but continues to work in a high profile job although he’s now slowed down a lot. The last few years have been hell with him ... View more

I’ve been with my partner for 22 years and he’s been a high functioning alcoholic for around 12 years. He has drinking binges but continues to work in a high profile job although he’s now slowed down a lot. The last few years have been hell with him saying he’s going to quit, having a few months and now only days of sobriety and then sabotaging everything with his verbal and mental abuse. We have now kids but he has 3 still very dependant on his income and living arrangements and work. The most recent fallout is particularly nasty with him sending such nasty, vile messages to me repeatedly and won’t actually talk to me. He escapes to his place where his adult kids live and drinks and blames me for everything. When he’s with me he’s pretty good and doesn’t drink. We have a fun and loving relationship usually until he goes up there and it all goes down hill. I’ll usually wake up to a nasty message that escalates over days until he apologises, says he’ll get help or go to AA but never does. We used to have a great social life and had lots of great parties but now no one visits. It’s hard to make plans because of these fights. I usually end up going places on my own. I’m trying to sell our house which has been difficult because it’s all up to me with no help from him. When we get close to a sale he’ll work really hard to win me over and I stupidly give in because I love him and want the man I fell in love with to come back. He convinces me he’ll help but never does. But when is enough enough? Any advice would be really helpful. Thanks in advance

cjmc new to estranged...
  • replies: 5

Hi, Im new to being outed and I've just joined BB to look for help and support from others. My daughter had her first baby 4 months ago and it's my second visit. She was uncomfortable around me when I arrived which was confusing, then I received the ... View more

Hi, Im new to being outed and I've just joined BB to look for help and support from others. My daughter had her first baby 4 months ago and it's my second visit. She was uncomfortable around me when I arrived which was confusing, then I received the message days later that broke me. A verbal attack and she is going no contact with me. She is 34 and I am 59. I am grateful that my son is good with me but this rocks a family. I have already almost freed myself from a narcissist mother who damaged this family and now I feel like I'm in the middle of total unrest. I will go back to qld earlier with the feeling that I won't be back to Vic for a long time, hence not seeing my first granddaughter. Sometimes I wish there was a rule book for life. thanks

Mr__Irrational Lost my morals
  • replies: 11

I was raised in a "normal family". Parents married and sibling Was raised to respect wemon, never cheat, be a family man, honour wedding vows...and never leave. My last 2 relationships (8yrs and 3yrs) and 3 children failed. I was quite unwell with PT... View more

I was raised in a "normal family". Parents married and sibling Was raised to respect wemon, never cheat, be a family man, honour wedding vows...and never leave. My last 2 relationships (8yrs and 3yrs) and 3 children failed. I was quite unwell with PTSD and untreated for a long time. My wife leaving early last year really broke me, I was always faithful and loved her, only had eyes for her. But something has changed in me, now that I realise those values and morals I was raised with don't mean anything, wedding vows and commitment don't mean anything....I have completely changed as a person. I didn't date or see anyone for 7 months after she left...but now I have dated so many wemon in the last 5 months (seeing one for 3 months) but I've lost that respect for them I've always had. I have slept with so many in such a short period of time, I don't care if I upset them, I haven't cheated "technically", I break up with them, go see another, then go back to them. I feel disgusting but at the same time I don't care. I don't trust them and expect it to fail...so I just bounce from one to the other. Loneliness kills me, but these short relationships are also very damaging. I don't believe I'm a sex addict...but something internally has changed and I've become to opposite of what I was raised to be. I dunno the purpose of this post, maybe just need write down what I'm internalising. Thanks for reading

AB10 My partner won’t stop lying to me
  • replies: 7

I’ve been with my partner for just over 4 years and during that time he has lied to me alot! I often catch him out in a lie and he’ll continue to deny it to my face. It makes me feel like I’m going crazy. I just caught him in another lie today. He’s ... View more

I’ve been with my partner for just over 4 years and during that time he has lied to me alot! I often catch him out in a lie and he’ll continue to deny it to my face. It makes me feel like I’m going crazy. I just caught him in another lie today. He’s been taking tablets behind my back, which he admitted to in the past after I found them in his bag. Even when I had the evidence in my hand and googled what they were he tried to tell me it was something else. I told him if there’s an issue he can tell me and there will be no judgements. I offered my support. After talking through it he admitted to it and said he wouldn’t take them again and if there is an issue again he’ll tell me. Well today I just saw the evidence left on his lip where he’s obviously bitten the tablet off. It was right there and he of course denied it. He got very aggressive and was yelling at me saying some very nasty things. He was grabbing me and telling me I had to leave because I told him it was over and I couldn’t do this anymore. He then started to tell me I’m imagining seeing the tablet on his lip and said there was nothing there. I feel like I’m losing my mind, but I know I didn’t imagine it. He won’t stop lying. It’s a compulsion. He even admitted to me once that he is a compulsive liar. So why won’t he come clean now? I don’t know what to do. I can’t keep supporting someone that’s lying to me and not willing to change. I have 2 children, which aren’t his, and we all live together (my children were not home when this was going on). I’m not in the financial position to leave as rent is very expensive where I live and I’m not working at the moment. He works and is the main source of income. I feel so lost and confused.

theaussiedude Need advice, heart broken
  • replies: 26

My ex broke up with me, we had the most respectful, caring, supportive, kind relationship, we both said we are perfect together in so many ways, we had qualities that are so hard to find in someone, had so many things in common, the feeling of being ... View more

My ex broke up with me, we had the most respectful, caring, supportive, kind relationship, we both said we are perfect together in so many ways, we had qualities that are so hard to find in someone, had so many things in common, the feeling of being safe in each other presence, two of the nicest people ever who generally cared about everyone. And she broke it off because I was taking too long to open up and let her in. I have a letter, I express myself better in words than verbally and I am not sure if it's the right thing to send. I'd like to get some advice if its a good or bad idea? It's just been a really tough few weeks, I lost the love of my life, my dad's cancer is getting worse and my mum finds out next week if she has motor neuron disease. I'm no spring chicken, I live with my mum at the moment caring for her as she has a disability when I get home from work, and it's all becoming a bit too much. It's hard to work, I'm trying so hard to be a role model to all my students, and I on the verge of just crying in class

rb26 Friends and Exes
  • replies: 2

So I have this friend who is CONSTANTLY flirting with my ex, and we just broke up in January. She never asked me if I was doing well after the breakup and never spoke about her feelings towards him. I used to consider her one of my best friends but t... View more

So I have this friend who is CONSTANTLY flirting with my ex, and we just broke up in January. She never asked me if I was doing well after the breakup and never spoke about her feelings towards him. I used to consider her one of my best friends but this is super confusing and new things I’ve found out about her have made me realise she’s not the best person. What do I do? I don’t know how to cut her off.

Mrtidytagle This sounds crappy
  • replies: 2

So where do I begin. So I’ve not suffered anything major but it’s more just petty crap that sounds stupid. (Tbh I have so much to tell you it’s unreal) first we have Amy friend group cutting me off entirely which they haven’t come to me on what I’ve ... View more

So where do I begin. So I’ve not suffered anything major but it’s more just petty crap that sounds stupid. (Tbh I have so much to tell you it’s unreal) first we have Amy friend group cutting me off entirely which they haven’t come to me on what I’ve done wrong it’s frustrating it’s long too it started with like not inviting to not talking on text calls secret group chats like I’ve been cut off and it makes me feel like I’ve don’t somthing wrong and I’m a crap person and Ik yoj could say I’m not and all but woof I’m stuck between am I a bad person or are people just rude to me or a bit of both. And there is this dude who is just existing and like constantly a flirt but idk if it’s all in my head like ahhh I’m just struggle streetin with my emotions right now and needing to just like do things exist or distract myself with guys or idk it’s long and oh I know what I’m doing I’m too afraid to share so I avoid it also there is so much to share like a lot. Idk I just feel a bit alone and frustrated at tv and frustrated at everyone because the world doesn’t revolve around me yeah ik how selfish of me I just wanna feel main character vibes. And have the tv show dream and it’s not workin out ahhh see ya and sorry I’m a bit confusing

Roger_Waters Should I tell her or not?!
  • replies: 3

think my life as husband and ever-present father is about to be over. last week I got severly drunk At a work party. Can not remember when I last was that drunk. Very sketchy memory, ended up in a brothel and went ahead. Was using protection of cours... View more

think my life as husband and ever-present father is about to be over. last week I got severly drunk At a work party. Can not remember when I last was that drunk. Very sketchy memory, ended up in a brothel and went ahead. Was using protection of course but of course you can't ever know. Still not told my wife. Got a beautiful wife and 2 great kids. Quick background: Bipolar 2, Treatment resistant depression, SUD, my father and brother exited life by own hand. I know what the right thing to do would be and it really hurts every minute thinking of what I've caused. I even went to bed with my wife the day after. Anyway I drown my emotions until I get my std results next week. Or should I just tell her now?? She would divorce me for sure.

Guest221 Going through a breakup after 7 years
  • replies: 6

Hi, it’s been 2 weeks since my boyfriend broke up with me and is currently moving out of our house. He has said we can stay friends after all this middle stuff is sorted out but I feel like it might be too hard. He has said he doesn’t feel the same w... View more

Hi, it’s been 2 weeks since my boyfriend broke up with me and is currently moving out of our house. He has said we can stay friends after all this middle stuff is sorted out but I feel like it might be too hard. He has said he doesn’t feel the same way he used to, and only today has brought up that the love he feels for me isn’t the same either. I’m left heart broken and really need some people to talk to me and help me get through this. I am 26 and he is 28. we have both been living together for almost 3 years but he is away for work a lot and I’m constantly alone and away from my family.

Kendra What should I do?
  • replies: 8

Hi there this is my first time on here and it’s great to see that this site exists and can help so many people- I’m needing advice on how to help my daughter she has in the last week just moved back interstate as she is studying and in her final year... View more

Hi there this is my first time on here and it’s great to see that this site exists and can help so many people- I’m needing advice on how to help my daughter she has in the last week just moved back interstate as she is studying and in her final year. Her boyfriend suffers anxiety and OCD which she has been helping him to deal with, however now that she has moved interstate again he Is desperate for help and messaging her saying that he is suicidal and copes better when she is here to help him. My daughter keeps asking us to bring her home to be there for her boyfriend but that would mean giving up her dreams. I keep telling her it is not up to her to save him but she should be telling his family so they can help him instead of her always taking the load. She is distressed and he has been sending her messages saying if she comes home he won’t kill himself- this is putting a lot on her and we are all telling her not to come back because she is not the answer but encourage him to tell his family who do not seem to know how bad he is. What should we be doing? I myself suffer anxiety and I’m finding it hard at the moment to know what to do?