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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Kendra What should I do?
  • replies: 8

Hi there this is my first time on here and it’s great to see that this site exists and can help so many people- I’m needing advice on how to help my daughter she has in the last week just moved back interstate as she is studying and in her final year... View more

Hi there this is my first time on here and it’s great to see that this site exists and can help so many people- I’m needing advice on how to help my daughter she has in the last week just moved back interstate as she is studying and in her final year. Her boyfriend suffers anxiety and OCD which she has been helping him to deal with, however now that she has moved interstate again he Is desperate for help and messaging her saying that he is suicidal and copes better when she is here to help him. My daughter keeps asking us to bring her home to be there for her boyfriend but that would mean giving up her dreams. I keep telling her it is not up to her to save him but she should be telling his family so they can help him instead of her always taking the load. She is distressed and he has been sending her messages saying if she comes home he won’t kill himself- this is putting a lot on her and we are all telling her not to come back because she is not the answer but encourage him to tell his family who do not seem to know how bad he is. What should we be doing? I myself suffer anxiety and I’m finding it hard at the moment to know what to do?

Notmylife Is my husband gay?
  • replies: 1

3 years ago I discovered my husband was spending time with gay men. He told me it was just mateship and they had gardening and antiques. However, I discovered explicit text messages and photos . When confronted he told me he was trying to find ways t... View more

3 years ago I discovered my husband was spending time with gay men. He told me it was just mateship and they had gardening and antiques. However, I discovered explicit text messages and photos . When confronted he told me he was trying to find ways to get an erection as he hadn’t been able to fit several years hence no sex. He told me he would stop because he loved me and wanted to stay married to me. Just recently my husbands business went broke and he has just spent 4 weeks in a private mental health facility. I have recently found searches in history on the laptop of male gay porn. I haven’t brought it up as yet because his mental health is fragile. I’m exhausted from trying to close his business and save our house as he has driven us bankrupt. What should I do?

Novaa Issues. Just a vent
  • replies: 2

Hello there. Now to get started, I have autism and anxiety. Sometimes it's really hard for me to understand some words and/or the actions of someone and what they say. I have issues with my father a lot, he makes me feel so horrible about myself. He ... View more

Hello there. Now to get started, I have autism and anxiety. Sometimes it's really hard for me to understand some words and/or the actions of someone and what they say. I have issues with my father a lot, he makes me feel so horrible about myself. He questions why I sit in my room all day. He makes me feel fat, always yelling at me. I only stood up to him once, and for some reason I can't do that again. He is the reason why I sit in my room all the time. He makes me so upset and I'm getting tired of crying all the time. I dislike most of my family to be honest. It feels like no one pays attention to me so I just hide away. Whenever there are family BBQ's I try to avoid going, but I just get forced to go anyway. I always felt so awkward around them, always sitting by myself. My father is toxic, and it's bad for my mental health, I feel like someday I'm just gonna break and do something horrible. My S/O wants to get me moved out of there ASAP so I'm desperately trying to save money, but it never goes right when people want things from you, like rent. They want $200 from me and I get $300. I'm still trying to find a job as well. I just feel so alone. I self harmed a few weeks ago to see if they actually cared, oh boy I was so wrong. No one was concerned or asked me if I was okay, nothing. It is currently 1am and I can't sleep. I Can't stop thinking. Right now I feel like crying while writing this. Thank you for reading I guess..

Tonyl How to deal with sexual rejection
  • replies: 6

Hi guys , it’s a touchy subject this one- I have been married for 13 years now. We have our ups and downs as any couple. Our sex life is pretty normal at times. I’m a very attentive person always try to make my wife feel special and I am the person t... View more

Hi guys , it’s a touchy subject this one- I have been married for 13 years now. We have our ups and downs as any couple. Our sex life is pretty normal at times. I’m a very attentive person always try to make my wife feel special and I am the person that has the sex drive as well where hers is not there sometimes. the question to you all as I am trying to be a good hubby. How do you deal with sexual frustration - rejection. How do you stop you making you partner feel like crap. it’s this constant battle -she is getting to the age where sex drive decreases. my wife means the world to me. I try reading the situation and fail sometimes. it must be my face or something. Makes her feel terrible. what do you do

Herefortheforums Father to be, second guessing marriage and thinking about another women
  • replies: 8

Hi Really struggling with a lot on my plate at the moment and all building up all at once. Currently, my wife and I are expecting a new born and she is 38 weeks pregnant. At the moment, I don’t feel anything towards the new born and haven't really ha... View more

Hi Really struggling with a lot on my plate at the moment and all building up all at once. Currently, my wife and I are expecting a new born and she is 38 weeks pregnant. At the moment, I don’t feel anything towards the new born and haven't really had any strong feelings towards it since I found out. I hope to be a good dad but a lot of uncertainty clouds my judgment. What makes this situation more stressful and more worse for me is that we are in our second year of marriage and I have feelings for another woman (who I can’t stop thinking about). I feel guilty about wanting something else and being happy with someone else, but I feel like I’m not supposed to have these feelings and I’m not allowed. I love my wife and I want nothing but great things for her and for her to be truely happy...but lately I find myself imaging my life with another women who I talk with everyday and it makes me feel so happy when I talk with her. However guilt takes over and makes me feel worse when I think ‘how would my wife handle what I’m feeling’...especially with a new born coming into the world. With all this happening I find myself asking ‘am I allowed to be happy?’ Or ‘Why do I feel guilty about wanting to be with someone else?’..‘Will my child be affected by the way I feel?’ A lot of thoughts are running through my head and really unsure how to handle any of this. I feel terrible and all I wanna do is be happy.

Melly44 Husband been cheating for months
  • replies: 12

I found out my husband of 10years (together 15) has been cheating with an old friend of his that he reconnected with on Facebook. It’s been going on for 4 months. I only found out because I checked his phone. We have 2 primary aged kids. I’m heartbro... View more

I found out my husband of 10years (together 15) has been cheating with an old friend of his that he reconnected with on Facebook. It’s been going on for 4 months. I only found out because I checked his phone. We have 2 primary aged kids. I’m heartbroken He has cut all ties from her. Although she begged him to leave me. He says he did it because of the lack of affection (not sex) such as I never come up to him and give him a cuddle/kiss. we’ve started marriage counseling. But how to I get past the anger, sadness and sooo many other emotions? i asked him, if we separate, would he be with her... he said maybe!!! That was not the answer I wanted to hear! im not really sure what I’m asking.. have you been in a similar situation? Did it work out? Any advice is appreciated! 🤯🥺

littlegirllost 12 months on & I still feel so guilty & consumed by regret
  • replies: 5

I have been separated from my ex for just on a year now. The decision to separate was mine after suffering severe PND after the birth of our two children which has progressed into depression and high-functioning anxiety. Instead of seeking counseling... View more

I have been separated from my ex for just on a year now. The decision to separate was mine after suffering severe PND after the birth of our two children which has progressed into depression and high-functioning anxiety. Instead of seeking counseling together, I chose to move out and divide our entire family in search of the old 'me' thinking that I needed to be alone to do this. Throughout this illness, he has never really been there for me emotionally, but did everything he could to try to 'fix' me by pushing me to attend my GP, a psychologist and couples counselling. However, I did not have the emotional, mental or physical strength at the time to follow through. Since separating and attending regular therapy sessions I have come to the very real conclusion that I absolutely love this man and never intended for this to be our end. I have expressed my feelings to him whenever the moment feels right, and we have had some intimate moments (kisses, meaningful hugs & sex) over the last 12 months leading me to believe that we could still have a future. On a few occasions over the last three months or so, I have asked him if he would be willing to chat about 'us' - not in an effort to reconcile immediately, but more to place clarity on our feelings for each other - only to be told "There's too much damage and I'm not ready". My head is spinning out of control right now. He has been seeing someone else since about June last year but doesn't call her his girlfriend. There is a level of jealousy there for me, but I know that he is free to do as he wishes. I feel so guilty, ashamed and heartbroken. The regret I have for making this decision for us and our family consumes me daily. I do have thoughts of ending all the pain but I know I couldn’t go through with it for my kids. Any advice, guidance or suggestions you could give me are greatly appreciated.

Mrslaura311 Wife of a very depressed man
  • replies: 12

Hi everyone, This will be long but I do really need some support and advice. My husband came home from doing 6 weeks away at work and told me he doesn’t love me. I was due to have our 4th planned baby the next week. I was completely shocked! I knew h... View more

Hi everyone, This will be long but I do really need some support and advice. My husband came home from doing 6 weeks away at work and told me he doesn’t love me. I was due to have our 4th planned baby the next week. I was completely shocked! I knew he had been unhappy for about 6 months but he had been working months at a time with only a few days break. And I didn’t think it was me personally, just the lifestyle. To me this was so he could have time off when baby arrived with no money stress. I am a busy stay at home mum and didn’t really think about how this was affecting him or me. He told me he has been working so much to stay away from the home cause it’s unhappy. Is he saying that because he’s had to hide this depression and work has been the only place he can do that? He can’t tell me why he doesn’t love me, nothing significant has happened. He has now seen a psychiatrist and been diagnosed with severe depression. I do not believe he doesn’t love me he just doesn’t know how to feel right now. We are now living as separated but it feels like he wants to be in our home. We are still doing things together and he came to the birth of our baby. I don’t know how to handle it, I still love and care about him but every time I talk to him I feel like he thinks I’m trying to force our relationship. How do I handle him at this very sensitive time. He has also agreed to see a marriage/ relationship councillor or is this something his physiatrist will bring into his sessions? I don’t really know what I’m asking, just hoping someone has suggestions on how to speak to him or what I can do to help. Thanks for reading

MissJ94 Hard Decisions
  • replies: 6

My son and i currently live about a 10minute drive away from my mum. Ive been wanting to move a little closer to my mum not only because it helps when my son is at my mums while i work but also because i want to be within walking distance to his scho... View more

My son and i currently live about a 10minute drive away from my mum. Ive been wanting to move a little closer to my mum not only because it helps when my son is at my mums while i work but also because i want to be within walking distance to his school, also for convenience. So now i have the opportunity to move into my sisters place while she and her family move in with my mum so they can save for a house. I refused to move back in with mum because our personalities clash severely when around each other all the time. Were better people when not living together. Moving into my sisters place will mean were within walking distance to my mums and also my sons school so its very tempting. And although my mum has said she will be able to help me out with the rent, which is $50 more per week than what im paying now, im just not sure. All things point to "yes this would be a great option for now i should just go for it". But im just so cautious with absolutely everything, i feel like something bad will happen in no matter what situation and its lead me to absolutely hate making decisions. So i guess im asking for some advice from someone thats not me or my mum. Should i just go for it? I dont really have any friends i can turn to for this sort of thing either so i feel like im stuck with my own thoughts!

Stance All starting to get too much.
  • replies: 3

So I've been having a few issues as of late with my family. Mum, sister and myself had a big argument a few weeks back resulting in my mum leaving a staying at their holiday place. I have sorted things out with my sister and we're back on good terms.... View more

So I've been having a few issues as of late with my family. Mum, sister and myself had a big argument a few weeks back resulting in my mum leaving a staying at their holiday place. I have sorted things out with my sister and we're back on good terms. Mum and sister still arent talking making things awkward for the family. Dad is upset, and keeps asking me to get my mother and sister talking (according to the family, im the only one that can get my mum to come around). This isnt the first time my sister has caused an argument. She has her own issues that she needs to deal with, but apparently after being tested for mental disorders a few years back, its all behavioural. I've been feeling a lot of pressure as ive been trying to speak to my mum but every time I do, she just cries and says she is done. She isnt happy about the fact im talking with my sister again. Dad is just upset and wants the family back together, which I can't seem to help with and its making me feel guilty. I've also got a husband and two boys, 3 and 1 (also 18 weeks pregnant). The boys are quite the handful, but I completely expected it being toddlers. My husband doesnt seem to handle them very well as gets angry / frustrated very easily. Over the weekend, after working 7 days straight, we were at my sisters having dinner. Eldest started to fall asleep so we knew we should get him dressed in his pjs and head home. He threw a tantrum and would get changed, started screaming and kept trying to take his pjs back off. This isnt exactly unusual and i just put it down to the fact that he was way overtired, hadnt napped that day. I was trying to dress him and didnt respond to his tantrum as i was exhausted myself so just got on with getting the job done. Husband came in, started yelling and swearing, tried to hold him down to dress him. I grabbed my son and ran to another room crying. Not the first time husband has lashed out when he is frustrated. We've spoken about it before but he just apologises and says he is trying. He's good for a few weeks then has another outburst, resulting in another argument. I'm not scared that he will ever hurt the kids or myself, just can handle the fights and emotional side of it all. I havent spoke to him since the incident but i hate fighting in front of the kids. I dont know what to do. Im just really sad at everything and want to burst out crying all the time. Also freaking out that all the stress isnt good for the baby. Any advice?