Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

WorkingWife online couples counselling
  • replies: 1

Does anyone know of any online couples counsellors that are located in Australia, but are originally from the USA? Thanks.

Does anyone know of any online couples counsellors that are located in Australia, but are originally from the USA? Thanks.

Jk2020 Don’t know how I should feel
  • replies: 6

Hi. When my husband and I first started our relationship he told me he had gotten another woman pregnant years earlier. she didn’t tell him until the baby was born and she didn’t want anything to do with him. It was a shock and I seriously questioned... View more

Hi. When my husband and I first started our relationship he told me he had gotten another woman pregnant years earlier. she didn’t tell him until the baby was born and she didn’t want anything to do with him. It was a shock and I seriously questioned wether he was the right man for me. We eventually married and now have children of our own. I am also now pregnant with our 3rd child. Then suprise- the “secret” child (now in her teens) has found him and contacted him. I knew this would happen one day, but not now. I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel. One minute I’m trying to support him and the next I feel like I hate him for putting our family through this. I also think this child has a right to know her biological background and so I am torn and very emotional. It’s really getting me down, and I feel the joy of having a new baby has been taken from me. I start to feel ok, and then as soon as she makes contact again, the emotion and anger all floods back. I want him to do what he feels he needs to do regardless of my feelings but I’m just so confused, I’m not sure how to support him but look after myself and pick myself up and move forward.

Violet_S I don’t know if I should break up with my boyfriend or not :(
  • replies: 1

Cheers to whoever reads the entire thing So, I’ve been with my bf (25) for 2 years now. before I met him I was in an abusive relationship for 3 years which i’ve never really gotten over, due to the trauma. Right now my partner and I are in a LDR. I w... View more

Cheers to whoever reads the entire thing So, I’ve been with my bf (25) for 2 years now. before I met him I was in an abusive relationship for 3 years which i’ve never really gotten over, due to the trauma. Right now my partner and I are in a LDR. I was living near him but decided to go stay with my mother in another state because of the pandemic. long distance is hard, but we’ve been coping ok. my boyfriend is a sweetheart, he treats me very well. it is the most healthiest relationship i’ve ever had, which is amazing. however, he is very immature. he has never had a job even though he did go to college. he usually plays video games all day or sorts through his lego. he is a great artist and has potential but there are no jobs available in his area due to how competitive the field is. I’ve suggested he study another course that interests him, but he isn’t enthusiastic about that. Sometimes I feel like i’m way more mature than he is and his immaturity really frustrates me. i’ve been through a lot of things and mentally I feel very mature, so there’s like this.. disconnection in who we are as people and what we’ve experienced. i’m 27 so there is definitely differences. we do share the same beliefs about the world, he is very intelligent which is part of why I fell in love with him originally.. but lately I just haven’t felt attracted to him like I did when we first met. it feels like we’re best friends, not lovers. I just don’t feel that spark. I don’t really know what to talk about anymore. it feels like our conversations are repetitive. I know that if we broke up it would hurt. i’d miss his “good morning” messages every morning. I’d miss seeing him. i’m worried i’ll make a big mistake if I let this go. to add, I suffer from depression and anxiety. it has gotten worse lately. I don’t know if that has anything to do with it. I do feel like I am going into a different direction than him. I finished a course last year and am going to uni soon for a 4 year degree. I plan on staying with my mum so I can work casually and save money while I go to uni, which seems to make the most sense. I feel like this ldr will hold the both of us back? I want him to experience more of life and grow as a person. I just feel lost. I care so much about him but I don’t know where to go from here. all I know is that something doesn’t feel right. any advice would be appreciated

Beth27 Moral conflict
  • replies: 3

Hi, I have been best friends with this guy since we were young kids and it’s been over 20 years of friendship, we have always had great profound love for one another and we were each other’s first loves. We have always talked on and off for our lives... View more

Hi, I have been best friends with this guy since we were young kids and it’s been over 20 years of friendship, we have always had great profound love for one another and we were each other’s first loves. We have always talked on and off for our lives but the timing to start a serious relationship was always off. My issue is that I have been dating a wonderful man for 3 years, we started dating less than a month after I got out of a very toxic relationship, it’s been a great relationship apart from feeling like I’m not ready to truely commit, I love him dearly but he’s addicted to work and I’m worried about moving in with him (bringing my two kids) and since the coronavirus restrictions started I haven’t seen him much at all but the feelings started before this, I’ve been trying to juggle kids and study plus this relationship that seems to be the same stuff all the time no maker how we trying to spice it up.bi truely love him but I’m concerned about taking that next step with someone that may not be compatible. And I’ve recently started talking more with my childhood best friend again and it seems to me that this is another bad timing situation... I really want to be with my partner but there’s a huge pull to try and see if the childhood friend and I could have something more (something both of us want) but I’m so confused about what to do, it’s eating me inside and it’s becoming overwhelming, I honestly just want to throw my hands up and run from all my expectations as an adult. please help I’m really not sure what I’m meant to be doing

modus Coping without my kids
  • replies: 2

Hi I have recently seperated from my wife of 20 years. We have 2 children 15 and 9. For the last 3 years i suffer from anniexty and mild depression. Im struggling with the shock of not being around my kids all the time. The thought of not seeing them... View more

Hi I have recently seperated from my wife of 20 years. We have 2 children 15 and 9. For the last 3 years i suffer from anniexty and mild depression. Im struggling with the shock of not being around my kids all the time. The thought of not seeing them as much really hurts me. Me and my wife are still friends so seeeing the kids is not an issue. Im so scared to lose the relationship i have with them. Sorry this is all new to me and has really got me down. Thanks

Nikky1111 Long distance relationship issues
  • replies: 3

Hi I have been in a really amazing loving relationship for about 5 months now. We live about 1 hour and 15 minutes apart from each other so it's not too impossible and we are seeing each other every weekend at a minimum one of the weekend days but us... View more

Hi I have been in a really amazing loving relationship for about 5 months now. We live about 1 hour and 15 minutes apart from each other so it's not too impossible and we are seeing each other every weekend at a minimum one of the weekend days but usually 2. The only problem is. I work some weekends either a Saturday or a Sunday shift and I finish early at 2pm so I have most the arvo free to do things.. so when my boyfriend comes to my place say a Friday night and stays and I have to work say a Saturday or Sunday he will just chill at mine till I come home and be productive like study or something and just relax. Then we usually have the whole arvo and next day free together to have fun. So it's been working quite ok like this. But. On the other hand. When it comes to me being able to visit him, he has not yet moved out of home and his parents are very old style Christians that believe in no sex before marriage so they will not allow me to stay at his house in his room even tho we are both of adult age. So if I go up to visit him. I always have to drive all the way home the same day because I can't stay. It can be hard because if he has other commitments that weekend and I can only drive up to see him for one day, we have no private space to be able to be intimate together and have cuddles or anything. And that may be our only contact for the entire week. Now we just got news that he will be starting to work Saturdays just for a half day shift, soon, and this is going to limit our time together even more. He won't be able to drive down to my place on a Friday night and if I'm working the Sunday I doubt he would want to come down the Saturday and then have to wait for me at work on the Sunday just for me to get home so we can spend some time together. I want to ask him if down the track if he would consider moving out of his parents house and flat with some mates or just general flat mates so he can have his freedom and privacy and allow space for us to have our relationship up where he lives as well. That way I can stay up there and work around his work commitments also... I am scared of putting pressure on him by asking but it is extremely important to me that we have enough time together and this seems like the only logical and healthy step forward..

coun_tess Dealing (or not) with resentment
  • replies: 1

Hi. I've just joined this forum. I was looking at BB for a work-related issue and thought I'd give it a try. I'm trying to deal with real anger and resentment issues I have towards my partner. I suffer from anxiety and have been on meds before but th... View more

Hi. I've just joined this forum. I was looking at BB for a work-related issue and thought I'd give it a try. I'm trying to deal with real anger and resentment issues I have towards my partner. I suffer from anxiety and have been on meds before but this is different. Some days I think we're going OK but then there's a comment or something happens and all the things he's done to get us where we are now come flooding back and I shut down. He's just been diagnosed with moderate/severe depression and he's finally on the medication dose that makes a difference. But I had to push him to get them. The doc made a great comment. He said... it's not your fault you're suffering from depression, but it is your fault if you don't do anything about it. I resent the fact I had to push him, I resent he hasn't done anything to better himself - just waited for the meds to work, I resent the fact he doesn't talk about anything because he "doesn't like confrontation", I resent the fact I had to make a life-changing decision in Jan and deal with the consequences on my own, I resent the fact he expects everything from me but when I need him the most he's never there. And I'm angry at myself for getting myself into this. And y'know what. I'm sick of the crap. I'm 42 and if we didn't have a child I'd be long gone. But we do and there's nowhere for me to go unless I quit work and haul her out of school. He doesn't parent anyway - more like babysits. He doesn't want to do relationship counselling. It's like talking to a wall. I'm sure there are ways I can deal with it better but it's got to a point where it's so overwhelming that I just want out. I'd have to break my little girl's heart. I sound like a complete bitch but it's just getting harder and harder to pull myself out of this consuming ball of anger.

Mememo I need a bit of help
  • replies: 1

Hello, I am a newbie here and I would love some advice or stories of similar life experiences and how you cope... I don’t know where to begin. I have a lot of negativity surrounding me both internally from negative thoughts and from external people i... View more

Hello, I am a newbie here and I would love some advice or stories of similar life experiences and how you cope... I don’t know where to begin. I have a lot of negativity surrounding me both internally from negative thoughts and from external people in my life. I have started to be able to cope better by doing yoga and art but it’s still really difficult. I had a psychotic episode around Christmas time after I was physically assaulted, among other things that happened. I have put on quite a bit of weight and my self esteem is so bad now. My boyfriend doesn’t find me attractive and won’t sleep with me. He’s obviously having an affair because he’s out nearly every night. My sister has admitted that she slept with him recently and now she keeps accusing me of having revenge sex with her boyfriend (untrue btw). My house mates I think are always talking about me, this could be paranoia because they are quite lovely but I feel they’re covering for my boyfriend sleeping around. I just want to feel good again and like the old self I was. Quite a long thread, sorry bout that, but any feedback, advice or similar experience would be great

Lostlady83 In a long term relationship with a male feeling that I'm a lesbian.
  • replies: 3

I have been in a relationship with a male for 18yrs I feel that I would rather be with a female. I do not have any sexual disire for my male partner and haven't in a long time. I have been attracted to females all my life and have experienced female ... View more

I have been in a relationship with a male for 18yrs I feel that I would rather be with a female. I do not have any sexual disire for my male partner and haven't in a long time. I have been attracted to females all my life and have experienced female intamicey many times and feel I rather be with a female I am scared to end my long term relationship to persue a relationship with a female.

Epip23 Hi Everyone
  • replies: 7

Hi I am here hoping to find people to talk to. With every year older I get, I also get more isolated and lonely. It feels like my problems are only getting worse with time, no matter how hard I try. It’s at the point now where I’m becoming exhausted.... View more

Hi I am here hoping to find people to talk to. With every year older I get, I also get more isolated and lonely. It feels like my problems are only getting worse with time, no matter how hard I try. It’s at the point now where I’m becoming exhausted. I’m so lonely and so alone. I only have 2 people in my life and I’m not able to lean on those people for various reasons. Sometimes I feel like I’m so used to being alone that I’m becoming comfortable with it and other times it hurts a lot. I grew up in a traumatic environment where I was not safe, loved or wanted, and it feels like this is just affecting me more and more the older I get. The loneliness causes me to reach out to people I already know are toxic, just so I don’t have to be lonely, and of course it always ends badly.