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Long Distance Relationship Anxiety

Rose_1000
Community Member
Hi everyone. I met my boyfriend 2 years ago while travelling. We live half a world away but because we felt (and still feel) so strongly about each other it was an automatic choice to do the whole long distance thing. I have no regrets and we have enjoyed many wonderful moments together - luckily able to meet up every 4 to 5 months or so. This ended of course with the pandemic and I had to come home after living 4 months together which was meant to be a whole year. It was heartbreaking leaving him and now we are back to our long distance and face- timing everyday. With the travel bans I am very scared it could easily be over a year before we can be together again. I want to spend the rest of my life with him so I am willing to go through the pain now of these months without him so that we can continue our relationship into the future. I am starting to think that he doesn't feel the same way and I do understand because long distance is no joke. He has had a previous long distance relationship that he ended because he could't handle the distance and that is playing on my mind. Today he said that I should make sure I have friends to talk to as well as him just in case we 'hypothetically' break up so I can cope. Now I am starting to think that he is trying to make me prepared for when he ends it. I have had severe anxiety and depression for about 8 years now and this is really triggering everything off for me and I have been crying everyday. I just can't handle the uncertainty of everything happening at the moment and I am so frustrated because this feels like our relationship will fall at the final hurdle before we can finally be together permanently (he was moving to be with me sometime next year). I also feel silly because I know that people are dealing with much more difficult things and I am not sure if I am overreacting and being too clingy in this situation or if that is just my anxiety lying to me. All i can think about is him and nothing is interesting to me at the moment. I physically want to throw up whenever I think about us breaking up. I don't think anyone understands how much it will hurt to lose him. I am physically in pain being away from him and I feel as if he is my soulmate and he has said the same. I'm not sure if I can talk to him about how he's feeling about the distance (which is really hard because the urge to cry when talking about it is so overwhelming) mainly because I'm so scared of what the answer will be.
2 Replies 2

Tay100
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Rose_1000

Firstly, I'm sorry to hear that you are having a challenging time- posting here can be a great first step in addressing things.

I see you are in some distress and feeling overwhelmed- do you have a support network around you? Some consolation and fresh perspective might bring some relief for you. We, of course, can always provide a listening here if you want to chat more in-depth here, and/or help you build on the support network you have, whether that be helping reach out to people around you or seeking professional help.

Please be gentle with yourself, and self-care as much you need too, whatever that means to you. Check back with us if you want too- no pressure either way.

Sending kindness,

Tay100

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

Rose

too welcome you to this forum and well done for writing your first post.

Long distance relationships are hard even when in same state or same country, but in different countries it can be quite challenging.

I think sometimes people make jokes and don't realise that the other person may not find them funny but be upset.

It is impossible to compare problems so your concerns are just as important as anyone else.

When you are so far away every thing seems exaggerated and you worry and worry over every little word.

Is it possible to email him and explain how you are feeling and why you worry about your future.

Have you spoken to anyone about how you feel. Would you consider talking to a support line?

They are trained to listen and give support advice and action. 1300 22 4636

Feel free to post here as much as possible.

Quirky