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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Lonely_girl Relationship mental health
  • replies: 4

Ok so I am 20 and have been with my significant other for 4 years and I have major anxiety and my depression is getting worse and worse, they have generalised anxiety. During this time he’s tried to help but I’ve just felt claustrophobic and agitated... View more

Ok so I am 20 and have been with my significant other for 4 years and I have major anxiety and my depression is getting worse and worse, they have generalised anxiety. During this time he’s tried to help but I’ve just felt claustrophobic and agitated by it, just wanting to be left alone and he won’t do this. I feel as though I can’t breath. I have spoken to friends about this and they have suggested leaving as I am happier with friends rather then them. I don’t know what to do as everytime I suggest it they panic and cry. I feel as though I’m trapped during these times but I do love them

Suz863 Struggling with marriage separation
  • replies: 1

Hi guys, my husband and I split August last year and moved out into seperate houses March this year. We have been together 16 years and the split has made me realise how much I love him and our family. My daughter is really struggling with the transi... View more

Hi guys, my husband and I split August last year and moved out into seperate houses March this year. We have been together 16 years and the split has made me realise how much I love him and our family. My daughter is really struggling with the transition too. My husband has a new girlfriend and told me he doesn’t want to get back together so I guess I’m here for support, I feel sad all the time which is unusual for me and I don’t know how to move past it. thanks guys

Puss Puss
  • replies: 1

My Sister and her family recently contacted my Adult Schizophrenic Son without telling me. Her daughter in law had received a Christmas Card from him but never told me. Also they made the decision themselves to visit him after speaking to the Hostel ... View more

My Sister and her family recently contacted my Adult Schizophrenic Son without telling me. Her daughter in law had received a Christmas Card from him but never told me. Also they made the decision themselves to visit him after speaking to the Hostel and went there as a family, their reason being to see if he was okay and off drugs. I feel awful saying this, but they knew I did not want any contact having made a life apart now,. I am 73 years old land still feel this way after he attacked me years ago at his Hostel then ran off leaving no trace of whereabouts. I am hurt and very stressed, unable to sleep and don't know how to handle this or if I can trust them to reveal my whereabouts now. I am being treated for anxiety and this is making me feel so much worse. Does anyone have any advice or support please?

Tired_of_being Parenting, autism and bitter separation
  • replies: 5

I have been going through some tough times, abusive (physical/emotional/financial) and now my son has been asked to leave his school. He is autistic, but ok until puberty. He just does not get the social cues and he just does not get how to communica... View more

I have been going through some tough times, abusive (physical/emotional/financial) and now my son has been asked to leave his school. He is autistic, but ok until puberty. He just does not get the social cues and he just does not get how to communicate with girls. Being acrimoniously separated, we both have IVOs. I did one to remove him from house and being physically abusive to son. I was the one that dealt with his school. I am paying for his counselling and now i have noticed that ex has done transactions out of my bank account. He knew number since he was joint. But he has side business that allows him to direct debits..so he put bills into my account.. He breached his IVO and got a good behaviour bond, but it was stalking son , so not taken seriously. The ex is big on mental games and made sure i spent nearly 30 years feeling worthless, stupid and believing my memory was gone. My current issue this week is that son has been out of school for 2 weeks, then the 2 weeks of school holidays. Ex refused to discuss and now only wants to communicate by solicitor. I am left with the impossible task of trying to enrol him at either 2 schools in town. Ex works at one, and the other is across the road. So because of IVO I cannot access either, I have court date to vary in July and meeting with Catholic before this. I am hoping of working out some way of doing this. I just have nothing left. ick of the games he plays. I am beyond tears, I have a son that desperately needs lots of professional help - and I am the only one that is left to organise anything. Ex says he cant afford it, but is on over 100k and boarding at friends. I'm paying mortgage and all household bills. I am financially balancing with my credit cards, my sick leave is gone, my long service too. I still have so many days i need to take off to get son to treatment and family court. Yet it all falls to me. I get 200 per month child support. I have been physically attacked by son when i tried to limit his screen time. His father did not support the behaviour plan set up, as he has only contacted the psychologist after 9 weeks. Where do I start? I have applied for NDIS, Special Assessment for child support and have my own counsellor. But I just feel useless as I cannot accomplish anything. I am not bothering about the money as it is more important to get son help as he was asked to leave, I am so frustrated, I cant move on, I have all the bills. This just wont end.

skye1 Terrified about having a baby. Not happy like I feel I should be
  • replies: 7

I am 15 weeks pregnant and terrified. I don’t feel connected with my pregnancy, I’m reluctant to want to tell people. I find myself wishing I would just miscarry so I don’t have to go through feeling like this. I feel guilty that I feel this way and ... View more

I am 15 weeks pregnant and terrified. I don’t feel connected with my pregnancy, I’m reluctant to want to tell people. I find myself wishing I would just miscarry so I don’t have to go through feeling like this. I feel guilty that I feel this way and it breaks my heart. I am terrified thinking about if I will be a good mother, terrified that my child won’t be a good person, terrified that my partner will leave if I don’t look the same after having our baby, terrified my job will replace me and I’m left struggling and unable to help provide . Just terrified. I feel guilty that I should be over the moon but I’m not just emotionless and scared

Beans17 Is it me or them??
  • replies: 3

Hey everyone, this is my first post. my anxiety has been ripe all weekend, I find myself looking at my wall for longer than I like to admit. The only thing keeping me sane is walking my dog. i was dating a guy for about 2 months, he seemed perfect. E... View more

Hey everyone, this is my first post. my anxiety has been ripe all weekend, I find myself looking at my wall for longer than I like to admit. The only thing keeping me sane is walking my dog. i was dating a guy for about 2 months, he seemed perfect. Everything I thought I’d never find all in one man. My anxiety got the better of me after about 3 weeks and I tried pushing him away. He was confused but I snapped myself out of it and decided to open up to him instead. I told him about my past, my dad that was never there, my mum who’s suffered depression my whole life and put it onto me a lot, the bullying in school ect.. I told him everything. I really felt like I could.., then a couple of weeks past and I had a concern in the relationship to which he turned around and said that’s your insecurity, not my issue. This became a more regular thing, he would say ‘you’re just being crazy’ - to things I asked my friends about and they 100% agreed that these things would bother them too, he told me I should talk to a psychologist (he’s done it before and said it helped him) so I took the steps to get a health plan from my doc. (Currently waiting to book in). Yet still every issue I had he still just reverted back to calling me crazy. It was hurting me more, me having opened up to this man and then it felt like he was using it against me. We had another argument about him going to a party instead of going away camping with me. Again, he said I just don’t trust him and I’m ‘not showing normal behaviour’ and he doesn’t want to be with someone he has to walk on eggshells around.. that was Friday night, he left, blocked me on everything and that’s that. He has a lot of family stuff going on atm so I don’t know if it’s more of a stress thing, my anxiety was too much for him to deal with? Or maybe I am just crazy and expect too much? Im so hurt, I really thought he was wonderful and I’d hate to think I ruined things by being ‘too much’ while he was already stressed out. I can’t even reach out to him. I just feel really shit

Larni18 Bad breakup
  • replies: 6

I was dating a guy for 4 months. I thought we were both very in love, we hardly ever fought and he usually treated me very well- he seemed like such a decent guy. He spent so much time with me and my family and I really took care of him- I did everyt... View more

I was dating a guy for 4 months. I thought we were both very in love, we hardly ever fought and he usually treated me very well- he seemed like such a decent guy. He spent so much time with me and my family and I really took care of him- I did everything I could to make him happy. We started fighting about ten days before we broke up and he was talking to me like crap. A girl contacted me last week to say she had been seeing him and she wanted to know if we were still together- we were. I sent him some angry texts and a voicemail and then proceeded to block him on everything. The girl wanted proof- she then proceeded to say he told her we were broken up (he said 3 months ago and then 2 months ago) but I had photos with time stamps of less than a month ago. She called me a psycho and a liar, said I had no proof. I told her to have him but she wouldn’t leave me alone so I blocked her too. I’m so crushed and still shocked at how different he was in reality to who I thought he was. I’m desperate to talk to him but I know he would only use it against me, it will make things worse and it will prolong my recovery. Does anyone have a past experience or advice to share? I wonder why he cheated (he was on tinder the whole time and there was multiple girls and they were like shorter relationships than ours but still not just sex), because I know I deserve better but it still feels so awful. Oh also, obviously it was a lie as he was saying it to others but he would frequently say he loved me so much and that he wanted to spend his life with me. He would get upset and just about cry if we argued and say he was scared he was “going to lose me” or that I would break up with me. It just makes no sense to me. He also would talk about how he had been cheating on so he would never ever do it. What kind of person could lie so much and for what purpose? He obviously didn’t really want to be with me.

sprinkles07 Seperation after 15+yrs, and 4 children
  • replies: 2

Hi all In Jan this year i found msgs between my husband and one of his work colleagues. Once confronted he said it had stayed as a friendship and crossed the line for about 2.5mths, and she ended up kissing him and he decided that irs not what he wan... View more

Hi all In Jan this year i found msgs between my husband and one of his work colleagues. Once confronted he said it had stayed as a friendship and crossed the line for about 2.5mths, and she ended up kissing him and he decided that irs not what he wanted to do.... he wanted to fix things at home. The msgs i read seemed to support this but there had been ones that had been deleted. Anyway, a week later, he moved into a little unit to sort this head out. He claimed he just couldn't get over what he had let happen and done to me as he was the most in love and happiest he's ever been with me. So we started as seperated but not broken up....then he said he just couldnt see past it, then he could,then he couldnt. Then it was he couldn't unblur the line with her as he still had to have alot of contaxt with her for work.....throughout the last 4mths he's been flat out lying to me, sleeping with me still and making out like we possibly had a chance. Then i got phone records and even after him telling me they onky have contact for work purposes, the phone records told a completely different story. And he still tried to pass that off as only worl and him telling her he couldn't be with her. He then ended up moving 45mins away, still telling me she's not in the picture, we slept together the night before he started applying for all these houses! And i had heard she was moving to the same place he coincidentally was trying to get a house. Anyway he moved, and i found out she's actuslly staying there with him when she doesn't have her child and our kids aren't there!! Why lie!! Anyway, I'm heartbroken and so sad all the time. I've stayed seeing a counsellor and she was great. But its at night i have the most trouble i just csnt get the thought of them being together out of my head. How coukd he do that, did 15yrs mean nothing...... I'm stuck in or family home at this stage, its taking its toll. But our 17yr old is mid way through yr12 so we can't really move atm. I just feel stuck.... and unable to move past the feeling of wanting him to be with me and i hate it. I know time will help, but.... it's really hard.

PurpleRed How do I drop this "friend"?
  • replies: 2

I'm a 26 year old online content creator with a modest following. I became friends with another content creator with a slightly larger following. We met through a Facebook group for creators, and she was an admin. This was around August 2019. Fast fo... View more

I'm a 26 year old online content creator with a modest following. I became friends with another content creator with a slightly larger following. We met through a Facebook group for creators, and she was an admin. This was around August 2019. Fast forward to the end of 2019 - The group goes downhill fast. Her fellow admins have the claws out for me and many other members. I leave the group and don't return. She's upset I left. I warned her they'd do the same to her. A couple of months after that, they do the same to her and she gets kicked out of her own group around February 2020. It's now mid June, and she still doesn't shut up about them and how they've sabotaged her YouTube channel with dislikes. This woman is 39, btw. I feel like she's clinging onto me because I understand her situation. I'm so sick of hearing about it. I've tried ending the friendship to no avail, telling her I wont be online for a while, delaying the time between messages by a day, sometimes even days and even telling her directly that I don't want to be friends and I find her constant whining messages annoying. She always finds a way to weasel her way back in and she's always the one who always initiates conversation. I guess the question is: How do I get rid of her? I could just block her, but I don't want her telling people about my secret Instagram account. That's my main concern if I break this friendship off. Should I delete this IG account and just make a new one without her? Thanks for reading.

rainbowsunsets Depressive episode and losing friends
  • replies: 1

Hi, I am a first time poster here and I have depression and OCD. I have been in my high school friendship group for years, there are 5 of us. I am now 33. They have always been aware of my depression and OCD. They have never really understood but we ... View more

Hi, I am a first time poster here and I have depression and OCD. I have been in my high school friendship group for years, there are 5 of us. I am now 33. They have always been aware of my depression and OCD. They have never really understood but we have had our good times and when I’ve been well I’m a great friend and I don’t discuss my day to day battles with my mental health. Then when I have episodes I isolate and can’t find it within myself to answer texts or socialise. I have explained this to them. In the last three months I have been in the deepest and darkest depression of my life and I have just come out of it about a week ago. So I started contacting my friends to say hi and asked to catch up. One girl whom I considered to be the closest to me just sent me a text message ending our friendship a couple of hours ago by saying that she struggles with me cause coming in and out of her life and that when I am available she finds the frequency of my communication all encompassing and it stresses her out and effects her mental health. She said she has enjoyed our friendship over the years but feels we are going in different direction (this I don’t understand). Then she just says she doesn’t want to catch up and she hopes that I respect her decision and just wished me all the best. I text her back asking to talk on phone about it. She text back saying, “enough has been said and please respect my decision. The rest of the girls are not texting me back either. I think they are all gone. I am in shock and sad and don’t know why this is happening to me......