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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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sir_stokeley stuck
  • replies: 2

I am so stuck. I was diagnosed in Jan with BPD, depression, and anxiety. I haven't seeked or received any help or treatment for any of this because I don't know where to start. I had my mental health diagnosis hidden in my room because I didn't know ... View more

I am so stuck. I was diagnosed in Jan with BPD, depression, and anxiety. I haven't seeked or received any help or treatment for any of this because I don't know where to start. I had my mental health diagnosis hidden in my room because I didn't know what to do with it. My mum was going through my room and found it, took photos, sent it to my dad. They both saw on paper my diagnosis and that I had a history of self harm. They called me ungrateful and made jokes. I try to forgive and forget but sometimes it's too much. They know I have troubles sleeping, I've complained about not sleeping until 11-4 since I was 8. They still take my phone off of me at night at 8:30, leaving me alone in my room for 4-8 hours a night with my thoughts in a room full of things I could easily relapse with. I've expressed how this makes me feel and I was laughed at, again telling me to stop being dramatic and to just go to sleep. I have a close friend who was recently assaulted and who already had considerable existing suicidal thoughts/plans. I am so worried about him. Ironically enough, my mum works at the school I go to in the Wellbeing Team. I feel like I can't go to the school counsellor or nurse about anything because it will degrade my mums professionalism? Bc of this she knows about this boy and what happened to him. I had a dream 2 nights ago. It was so distressing to me because that's what he said is his plan. Tonight he was expressing suicidal intentions/behaviour and I was so worried and felt sick to my stomach. My parents came to take my phone off of me and I begged them to let me have my phone, just for the night because I was worried about my friend. My dad laughed in my face and told me it's not a life or death situation, to get over it, go to bed, stop gossiping. He said the only reason i wanted my phone was to gossip and talk to boys all night. I told him he had no idea what it was like and how this boy is feeling and he scoffed and mocked me, called me melodramatic. They took my phone and continued to mock me from their bedroom. I am so scared my friend will call me and ask for help or even just want someone to talk to and I won't be there to help him. I've cried so hard i gagged and almost puked. I am so worried about him because if anything happens to him because I wasn't there I don't think I could cope. I don't know what to say to them to make them understand me, because they don't take me seriously.

Olivia1 I just feel so lonely!! ☹
  • replies: 10

Hi all! I hope you are all doing well! I am a 17 year girl who has high functioning Asperger's. And I feel so socially isolated and invisible. At my school I struggle to connect with anyone and I am afraid that that's because I am a boring, basic nob... View more

Hi all! I hope you are all doing well! I am a 17 year girl who has high functioning Asperger's. And I feel so socially isolated and invisible. At my school I struggle to connect with anyone and I am afraid that that's because I am a boring, basic nobody. I only have 1 good friend who I hang out with and without her I have nobody. I feel bad because she is really popular and I feel like I rely on her way to much and I feel like i'm holding her back socially. Then when I started working I still made no friends. I just feel like no matter where I go I will be always lonely, which is a scary thought because I don't want to be lonely as an adult. I just wish I knew how to make new friends. It seems to come so easily to some people and it's close to impossible for me. I try and get out there but it is really hard considering how socially awkward I am and extremely shy. I also seem to have anything interesting to say. I don't really know how to end this well so.. have a good day and thanks for reading.

TaylaP1199 Not Good Enough
  • replies: 2

Hey I’m Tayla, I’m 25 years old and ever since I can remember I never feel good enough for anyone in terms of relationships and friendships..I just feel like I’m not worthy of being in anyone’s life and that they are better of without me. Due to thes... View more

Hey I’m Tayla, I’m 25 years old and ever since I can remember I never feel good enough for anyone in terms of relationships and friendships..I just feel like I’m not worthy of being in anyone’s life and that they are better of without me. Due to these thoughts I always seem to push people away whenever someone gets close and come up with excuses not to see them. I guess this all started from when I was a young child. I grew up with a young single mother who split from my father when I was around 12 weeks old. My mum has never been the most neutering or caring person- I know she loves me but just doesn’t show it so growing up I never received much shown of being loved. I used to see my dad sometimes on weekends but then he became addicted to a drug and started to be verbally abusive- name calling and put downs mostly alongside his own mental health issues..so at the age of 12 I stopped going to his house and now only see him on occasion. In terms of romantic relationships I have one had one official proper relationship which lasted only 7 months and ended Feb this year. At the start things were great- he treated me right and things got serious quick..towards the end of our relationship things changes and he started lying about stupid stuff, tried to control me and was manipulative- everything was my fault and he could never do no wrong..not to mention he never had anything nice or positive to say about me or my family which made me feel really sad and basically ended the relationship..after it ended I realized I did deserve better and told myself I would not settle for anything less Friendships have always been hard for me as I’m socially awkward and pretty shy so I’ve only ever had a couple of real long lasting friendships so feel alone a lot of the time Can someone help with trying to move past these issues and getting these thoughts out my head?

ZPav Have no friends and can’t make any.
  • replies: 3

Hey, I don’t know if this is the correct forum, but I’m just really lost, I haven’t had any friends since 2016 I’m 22, and have gotten worse at socializing and have really bad social anxiety and can’t have even small talk without going completely bla... View more

Hey, I don’t know if this is the correct forum, but I’m just really lost, I haven’t had any friends since 2016 I’m 22, and have gotten worse at socializing and have really bad social anxiety and can’t have even small talk without going completely blank in the head with anything to say, I’ve been practicing at home and doing all that but nothing works, people don’t like me pretty much straight away cause they take my awkward/shyness as rudeness, I’m scared I will never be able to make friends I just started working out but it’s got a lot of older people in my class so can’t really make friends there, I hope this makes sense, I feel like along with all this I have possible ADHD or ADD but can’t afford a psychiatrist I just want to be a better person, it makes me feel really horrible. I saw a psychologist but they didn’t really help me learn how to get through the social anxiety or give any tips, I have nowhere else to turn to but here, there’s so much more stuff that’s going on as well, and family isn’t much help so don’t really have any support coming from anywhere.

Bob4868 Sad
  • replies: 2

Im thinking of walking out on my family my two kids and there mum

Im thinking of walking out on my family my two kids and there mum

anxiousR Lonely and hormonal
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone, im writing this as I’m feeling very anxious at the moment and feel the need to vent somehow. Im currently almost 7 months pregnant with my 2nd child to my husband of 4 years. In the beginning of our relationship we were so good for eacho... View more

Hi everyone, im writing this as I’m feeling very anxious at the moment and feel the need to vent somehow. Im currently almost 7 months pregnant with my 2nd child to my husband of 4 years. In the beginning of our relationship we were so good for eachother. our love was out of this world and we couldn’t keep our hands off eachother either. we were truly like a match made in heaven. basically 4 years on, our relationship has really broken down. he doesn’t show me any kind of affection any more And blames me for that. recently i found out he emotionally cheated on me by chatting to other women online and on the phone. he said he was ‘trying to secure his future’ whatever that means. i was really hurt by all of this. he says he did it though because I had hurt him in the past by talking to my ex every now and again. When I had done that though and had given all that up, I apologised, I assured him it would never happen again, and I’ve kept to my word ever since. i never imagined he would turn around and cheat on me in any way shape or form. anyways, im at a loss at how to save my marriage, I’ve tried almost everything. he won’t go to counselling, he refuses any suggestions I make to reconnect and I’m so lonely and starving for affection. tonight, I feel like I can’t even be around him anymore because I’m so frustrated and anxious, like I literally just need him physically and emotionally, I feel so crap, I feel unattractive, and I feel so inadequate as a woman right now. I can’t take one more day of this! But I don’t want to separate from him...... how can I save my marriage and what will it take for him to want me again?

mooreso Issues getting along with Girlfriends family
  • replies: 1

*Context* 22yr male, fourth year psychology student. I have been with my girlfriend (gf) for 16 months. 3 months into the relationship I become aware of her drug habit. She was open with me about her drug use, depression, anxiety, suicidality and his... View more

*Context* 22yr male, fourth year psychology student. I have been with my girlfriend (gf) for 16 months. 3 months into the relationship I become aware of her drug habit. She was open with me about her drug use, depression, anxiety, suicidality and history of self harm. I offered support and asked her to see a psychologist . I have helped her with her drug habit , she is now 8 months sober. She stills suffers from some depression but expressed that her life is much better now. I am now struggling with my gfs family. Since i started seeing my gf I tried my best to get along hith her family. However her older brother, locks himself in his room and hasn’t spoken more than 20 words to me in the past year, and her mother rarely puts any effort into getting to know me. I see them atleast once fortnight. Their family dynamic has led me to become very uncomfortable when visiting and as such I rarely go to my gf house. Further complicating the issue, her mother is chronically ill. She will often say she wont live past 2021 but according to her doctor she is set to live for atleast 15 more years. Understandably it has led to my gf being in constant fear of her mom dying tomorrow although her recent tests suggest otehrwise Her mum also constantly guilt trips my gf whenever we leave the house and says things like "im stealing her away" which makes me feel guilty. Mostly, I struggle with how she treats my gf. When my gf was younger she experienced bouts of self harm however her mother has never addressed them. Additionally her mother failed to see obvious signs of drug use in her own house. I understand its often the people closest to a situation that fail to see signs. However 7 years of signs including my gf crying in the car drunk saying she doesn’t want to live anymore, only to be followed by no empathy and dropping her off at her house which led to a suicide attempt, has made it very difficult for me to respect or trust her. I now harbour resentment towards her mother. I am seriously considering leaving my gf although I still extremely love her, as I don’t want to deal with the added stress of her mother’s presence in my life for the foreseeable future.I have told my gf this and she understands and we are trying to find a solution. I am looking for any sort of advice or differing perspectives. I welcome all suggestion and opinions (including criticisms). Thank you all very much. S

KW2012 Help I’ve hit a reality slump!!
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, this is my first post on here and it may be a long one! About 2 years ago my husband came to me and said that he though he may be bisexual or gay! I had caught him out a few times looking at gay porn and a stash of female undies, so I le... View more

Hi everyone, this is my first post on here and it may be a long one! About 2 years ago my husband came to me and said that he though he may be bisexual or gay! I had caught him out a few times looking at gay porn and a stash of female undies, so I left for a week or so and thought and prayed long and hard about things and during this time he assured me that he wanted to work on our marriage and I organised counselling and we tried to rekindle our Intimacy which had been lost along the way. About 3 mo the after returning I began to get sore and stiff joints and severe fatigue, I was eventually diagnosed with an auto immune arthritis and am still struggling with everyday life and finding a medication that will work. So again I guess our relationship went on the back burner as I only just had enough energy to look after my two young children. Anyway about 6 months ago he can to me again and this time said he still felt the same and even think he may want to transition into being a woman! so I said well that’s it our marriage is over, but with all the COVID stuff happening we decided that we would wait for him to find a place and move out. That was until 3-4 months ago I asked my husband of 12 years to leave our home because I found out that he had cheated on me 2 years ago with a random man! it has been an absolute roller coaster over the past few months, but I have been coping pretty well up until a couple of weeks ago. I have suffered with depression and anxiety all of my adult life but I have been doing really well for probably the last 7-8 years since I had children. This last two weeks though I feel like I’m sipping very quickly back into my dark days. I’m crying allllll the time and when I’m not crying I just want to sleep. I’m just doing the bare minimum like getting the kids ready for school and cooking their meals etc... but the rest of the time I’m just feeling so down. my rational self knows that I am actually going through one of the hardest things ever but I’m scared of returning to that person I used to be! just wanted to share and see if anyone has any positive tips or even just someone to say I’m doing ok

chilloice Unsure if being in relationship is right for me
  • replies: 5

Hello, I've been in a relationship with my partner for approx. 1 and a half years. For the most part, it has been a healthy and caring relationship, and as we work out our differences it seems to improve as we understand each other more and more. I'm... View more

Hello, I've been in a relationship with my partner for approx. 1 and a half years. For the most part, it has been a healthy and caring relationship, and as we work out our differences it seems to improve as we understand each other more and more. I'm in my second year of uni at the moment, so I feel like (despite quarantine at the moment) I'm at a time in my life where I hadn't imagined myself to be 'tied down' in a relationship. My partner and I get along very well, I consider him one of my best friends and someone who understands me very well. I also feel like he feels more strongly for me than I do for him. More recently, I've been struggling with the idea that I would like to have time in my young adult life to be single and meet lots of new people without feeling like I (somewhat selfishly) -need- to consider anyone else. We went through a rough patch when he asked me if I'd still want to be in the relationship if he went travelling for an indefinite amount of time in the next year. I truthfully told him I wasn't sure, and after more questioning I said that I would like to be single at some point in my life again. I acknowledged that I thought my mentality may be a bit 'young' and inconsiderate - not wanting to put in the effort -now- to maintain a very long term relationship. After much more discussion though, we agreed we wanted to stay together and not focus so much on what a 'relationship' should look like, defining it ourselves. Since, I feel the relationship has relaxed a lot, which I find relieving. However, I'm now starting to feel anxious for the same reasons. I feel like my partner expects we'll last a very long time - move in together etc. and that we are very well matched. He says that if we broke up, since he's had other long term relationships, he 'knows' it would be very difficult to find someone like me again. This is my first serious relationship, and when I listen to myself, I know that although I think it could work, I don't want this to be my only relationship. I'm not even sure being in a relationship down the line would be the best option for me anyway. I guess I'm struggling to understand what is behind what I'm thinking and feeling. I don't feel like I can trust that what I'm telling myself is the truth, and I don't know how I can approach this situation. I'm not sure if what I'm feeling is just a result of something else - am I stressed/down? Does anyone have similar experiences? Or suggestions? Thank you

Jessie111 No affection in my relationship anymore
  • replies: 2

Hi all, my partner doesn’t show any affection to me while I am a very affectionate person. She knows how I feel here and claims to be and unaffectionate person due to her past and having some ptsd from a previous partner. I’m trying really hard to ac... View more

Hi all, my partner doesn’t show any affection to me while I am a very affectionate person. She knows how I feel here and claims to be and unaffectionate person due to her past and having some ptsd from a previous partner. I’m trying really hard to accept this because I love her and want to understand her struggles, but I am really not coping with it and I just need some advice on how to go about fixing this. Leaving her is not an option, I want to fix this. She used to be affectionate but it was when we were younger and partying a fair bit, she also claims now we have stopped that there is no distraction to how she’s feeling and her real self has come out. We’re also having some struggles with a very close friend of hers, she’s having some very serious mental health struggles and has been in the mental health ward for a month and is back there now after attempting a week at home, but only lasted 3 days before the paramedics picked her up. Now I understand all the focus is on her right now, outside of our affection problems I’m feeling very forgotten in general through all of this. She seems very disconnected from me and all I want to do is help in anyway I can, be there for her and take care of her through this difficult time helping her best friend of 15 years out of the hell shes stuck in is taking a massive toll on her and I can’t help but feel completely pushed aside as if my help isn’t an option. Our affection issues have been existent for a lot longer prior to her friends struggles also. Please help me move forward here... I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve had my own mental health struggles but I managed to get past that with the help of others and her, I just want to same for the people I care about so much and I just want our relationship to feel nice and warm again.