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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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memory_lane can someone please shed some light?
  • replies: 9

Hi all, I am new to this. I am really anxious on posting this. This is complicated as I really need to have another perspective. I met my partner and been together for nearly 4 years while we both are separated from our previous marriages. We are ver... View more

Hi all, I am new to this. I am really anxious on posting this. This is complicated as I really need to have another perspective. I met my partner and been together for nearly 4 years while we both are separated from our previous marriages. We are very happy together and is serious about our relationship. We kept our relationship under the lid as we are going through our own divorces process. He has introduced me to his closest cousins. Our current situations are: he is living with his parents and going back to fix it up so that they can put it on the market and he stay over there every now and then to look his children. Whilst, my ex-husband and I are separated under the same roof and sorting out our settlement. We both have two teenage children. Until things started to change during the pandemic, we could not see each other for 4mnths due to the lockdown. The lockdown has been really hard. He had started to take some anti-depressants and he is consistently flat and shut down. Now, I just feel like I am the only one who has been open about what is happening at my end right now and not so much on his side. He has become very negative about everything. I am worried and anxious as I have fallen very much in love with him. I am not sure if I am over-reacting or I am just insecure?

Elsam Two lovers
  • replies: 2

I recently become separated from my husband and am going through divorce. I have met the nicest gentle kind guy, he is tall, hot and sexy in my eyes. I feel he is head over heels for me but not sure I feel the same. He is talking about a future but n... View more

I recently become separated from my husband and am going through divorce. I have met the nicest gentle kind guy, he is tall, hot and sexy in my eyes. I feel he is head over heels for me but not sure I feel the same. He is talking about a future but not sure I feel the same. I do really like him and we have been intimate but I just don’t seem to have that ecstatic butterfly feeling, maybe it will grow as we have only just started seeing each other. My biggest dilemma is I am totally in love with a guy overseas and we have not met yet. I do want to continue seeing the guy I am dating but at the same time do not want to lead him on and break his heart. I do not want to lose him at the same time just in case I never get to meet the guy I am really head over heels in love with, totally smitten and in love with him even though we have not met. What do I do? I feel myself holding back with this guy and ruining the experience with him because the love of my life is always on my mind. Help ???

PorkyPig19 I can’t stand my family
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone living In my house with my family is becoming unbearable!! I work around here on egg shells, my anxiety and depression are at an all time high. Im ringing to make an appointment with my counsellor for ASAP. I feel like I’m going crazy.

Hi everyone living In my house with my family is becoming unbearable!! I work around here on egg shells, my anxiety and depression are at an all time high. Im ringing to make an appointment with my counsellor for ASAP. I feel like I’m going crazy.

Overitt how long for a broken heart to heal
  • replies: 4

my one and only man in my life who been with for 14 years married for 11 he was my first, we have 4 kids together still young, and he decided he isn't happy anymore doesn't love me and is leaving, im heartbroken, I have plenty of support people aroun... View more

my one and only man in my life who been with for 14 years married for 11 he was my first, we have 4 kids together still young, and he decided he isn't happy anymore doesn't love me and is leaving, im heartbroken, I have plenty of support people around me family ect but I just cant stop crying im devastated, I love him so so much it hurts, I put on a fake front for my kids as we agreed to sit with them and talk to them I never want them to see me fall but im absolutely falling apart, how long will this be and I know time will heal but im just so lost

Jrc2021 He said he loved me but still left
  • replies: 1

My boyfriend of almost 2 years said he felt like he won the lotto with me and I was the only one for him. I believed him. He was struggling with depression being cooped up in our small town and so I suggested he get a job in a bigger town for a few m... View more

My boyfriend of almost 2 years said he felt like he won the lotto with me and I was the only one for him. I believed him. He was struggling with depression being cooped up in our small town and so I suggested he get a job in a bigger town for a few months. A month after he left he spoke about wanting to travel and work and that he was the happiest he’s ever been without me so we decided to break up. I’m devastated and hurt, how do I get through this?

Amore84 Depression, son with disabilities
  • replies: 6

Hi My son is 3 and has disabilities. There is no diagnosis for him & we don't know if he will ever walk or talk. I never knew there were so many ways to have your heart broken. It's particularly hard when we see him with other 3 year olds & see how d... View more

Hi My son is 3 and has disabilities. There is no diagnosis for him & we don't know if he will ever walk or talk. I never knew there were so many ways to have your heart broken. It's particularly hard when we see him with other 3 year olds & see how different he is. I love him with all of my heart but my heart is equally broken. I try to stay enlightened, he is happy & healthy otherwise. All the Drs know is that he had hypomylination but they can't find a disease that caused it. He improves each day & we are hopeful. Anyway I just wanted to share that I have this sinking feeling every day. I've never had depression before. But it seems like this is it. Its just this sinking feeling that never goes away. Its there when I wake up and all day. I used to wake up with excited butterflies if I had a fun day planned. Now I wake up and have to look through the sinking feeling to conceptualise the day ahead but I don't feel the excitement and life force I used to feel. I feel like im faking happiness when I interact with people they way they expect, a way that reflects my bubbly personality. But I don't feel how I'm acting. The uncertainty & grief for the life we thought we would have weighs heavy. The worry that our beautiful darling won't ever be able to walk to the water at the beach or know what its like to have a friend breaks my heart. This is my story.

Bowie111319 How do I keep going?!
  • replies: 7

Hi This is a first for me so please bare with me... I am a 38yo mum of 3 kids aged 9, 6 & 18mths, my kids mean the absolute world to me and my whole life revolves around them. I love being a mum! My husband and I have been married 12yrs but honestly ... View more

Hi This is a first for me so please bare with me... I am a 38yo mum of 3 kids aged 9, 6 & 18mths, my kids mean the absolute world to me and my whole life revolves around them. I love being a mum! My husband and I have been married 12yrs but honestly since I gave birth to my first I have literally done everything for the kids on my own. We have always had family of both sides close by but never a helping hand from anyone. Lately my marriage has gotten to a place where all I’m doing is screaming and yelling on a daily basis, add to that begging for help & conversation from my husband, but he doesn’t want a bar of it...so I thought to post here hoping someone can help. I am past sad and just constantly furious and in the last 2years my anxiety has increased tremendously. My husband doesn’t help me physically or emotionally, it started when our first 2 kids were little but because I was so busy I didn’t pull him up about why he was never present, I just went about everyday raising, playing, teaching, entertaining & caring for our kids, on top of that I have always made myself available to my husband, family & friends. The day I gave birth to my first I gave up absolutely everything to be a mum so in the last 9yrs I haven’t had any “me” time. I have over the years tried to explain how lonely & sad I am but he just looks at me blankly with no comment or just makes a joke of it. Everyone has always thought highly of him and I’ve always been labeled the “ball breaker”, not sure why as I’ve done everything for our family in the best way possible. No one knows the rubbish my husband has put me through or how poorly he treats me, however like a good wife I have always had his back & kept my mouth shut. He knows I’ve cried myself to sleep many many times but he doesn’t seem to care. I can bring up my feelings about something many times but I get nothing back, even a daily conversation from him is hard. I’ve noticed now that the kids don’t have much respect for him and they come to me for EVERYTHING, he says that makes him sad but I don’t see him doing anything to make this better. Some might say he’s had it too good for so long and it’s hard for him to change. I’ve come to a point now where I’m constantly miserable and the kids can see it. I don’t think there’s any getting through to him as he thinks old fashioned & jokes that women should keep their mouths shut, funny as he was not raised with that thinking. I can’t keep going like this. I don’t know what to do.

Rk2020 Need clarity of my situation
  • replies: 2

Hi I have never posted anything before. I’m in a a situation which I never dreamt of. So currently I’m living with my 2 kids alone in Australia as moved from another country 4 yrs ago with husband. I’m working full time and kids goto after school car... View more

Hi I have never posted anything before. I’m in a a situation which I never dreamt of. So currently I’m living with my 2 kids alone in Australia as moved from another country 4 yrs ago with husband. I’m working full time and kids goto after school care 4 days a week. It was the husbands choice to relocate in Australia although I was open to this and excited initially. Unfortunately he decided his career was not doing well therefore decided to move back but due to my career thriving here I was reluctant to come back with him and he has not persisted that I should come back with him. He is back to his whole family i.e. his parents ,siblings , friends etc. Although I’m happy with my career here but the burden of looking after 2 kids with no friends or family around and not much help financially from him I feel like I’m burning both ends of the candles . I have to keep working to provide for the 2 kids and support their education. Im paying for the mortgage/ household bills/ council rate/ electricity etc etc. He on the other hand is buying a house with the deposit paid by his parents back in his country and not planning to put my name as second occupant as complications with me being overseas... I don’t have any emotional connect with him and speak to him once a week along with the kids. The kids are happy here and enjoying their school. I feel quite lonely and isolated here and I don’t know if this relationship is worth keeping at all. I am worried about my future and stressed that if I fall ill or become unwell then I don’t have any support here for me and the kids. On the other hand I’m not open as yet to any other relationships here as I have heard horrible stories about new partners taking advantage and abusing the woman and the kids. I know if I clarify things with him and agree to come back he would b very happy but I’m not sure if I will be miserable back there with him .. Do you think he has abandoned the family and being selfish or am I being stubborn not to go back with him to give the kids a complete family package?

Duesentrieb Wife withdrawn and resentful
  • replies: 28

Hi, my wife and I are married since 20 years. The marriage was good for 15 years, except her constant silent treatment when we have a conflict. I asked her several times to stop that, use communication but without any success. In general I am the mor... View more

Hi, my wife and I are married since 20 years. The marriage was good for 15 years, except her constant silent treatment when we have a conflict. I asked her several times to stop that, use communication but without any success. In general I am the more patient, giving, mellow person, more of a people pleaser. 3 years ago we had a peak of her silent treatment and I started to research. It started with silent treatment and ended with narcissism. Unfortunately I have to say that she shows some covert narcissistic traits. Since that time I changed quite a bit. I ignored her silent treatment, I started to implement boundaries, looked more after myself and stopped to panic when she was in a bad mood, etc. 2 years ago she found out that I researched narcissim quite extensively but kept quite. 1 year ago she told me and was very sad about it. She felt betrayaled and is since that time quite withdrawn and resentful. I already apologized and explained the background of it but it seems there is something brocken between us. Some days are OK but every small issue, difference, different opinion, wrong word, wrong tone, etc. and she swithes into victim mode and is withdrawn again. Any ideas?

Alfi3 Recently estranged from dying Mother
  • replies: 4

My father died 15 years ago, my mother is quite old and has recently been told by her doctor that her body is shutting down My elder brother lives with her, he has never really worked, is a bully and is quite controlling He convinced Mum to make chan... View more

My father died 15 years ago, my mother is quite old and has recently been told by her doctor that her body is shutting down My elder brother lives with her, he has never really worked, is a bully and is quite controlling He convinced Mum to make changes to her will after Dad passed away giving himself sole power of attorney, enduring gardianship, executor of her will and sole trustee of a family trust. She told me about this a year ago, I flew to her state so I could go with her to speak with her solicitor and to see what changes could be made, unfortunately she told my him and he went ballistic No changes have been made, our relationship that was once caring and loving has ceased completely, neither of us willing to ring the other The reasons why I won't are: She broke her promise to my sister and I, guaranteeing that her children will be forced to contest her will in an attempt to correct the wrong My father would never have left someone who he described as a parasite in charge of their combined estate, ever Mum is more concerned with an outward appearance that he is successful rather than acknowledge he is a parasitic bully She won't ring me because she feels its my responsibility to be there in this time of her need (I am the family fixer-upper) and blames me for causing so much anxiety because I think we all matter equally and her estate should reflect what Dad would have wanted too What do I do?