Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

All discussions

Start a discussion

Featherblue Living internationally and issues with in laws
  • replies: 1

I was hoping to get some perspective on my situation I have suffered from anxiety/ depression for about 6 years. When I moved to Aus from uk, for the first 6 months my husband's cousin, would completely ignore me, she was rude and treated me like I w... View more

I was hoping to get some perspective on my situation I have suffered from anxiety/ depression for about 6 years. When I moved to Aus from uk, for the first 6 months my husband's cousin, would completely ignore me, she was rude and treated me like I was nothing... I shrugged it off a number of times, but as she consistently did it, I was starting to notice her complete contempt for me. It effected my interaction with other people I would start to have panic attacks going to functions & really couldn't face them.I really had to distance myself to build any sort of life here and be with my husband. From then it became a bit of a trigger for me when people ignored me I would go to this dark place of feeling unworthy. Before the birth of my first child my MIL crossed afew boundaries so I reached out to make her aware of my indifference to her views..she ignored me.. months went by,I was just so upset,felt like it was happening all over again,this was meant to be my family and they were treating me like a piece of crap!We bumped into my MIL& her sister at a festival, I was 8 months pregnant. Her sister came straight up to me stared at me, then walked away, it felt like she was trying to intimidate me. The MIL walked up,apologised for ignoring me, but things really have never been the same since. I keep things polite for the sake of the children, however I never enjoy family engagements as I have this huge wall up that I cannot break. I'm having huge trouble forgiving and forgetting and really beating myself up about it. It's my sons 2nd birthday coming up and I suggested to invite the MILs sister which I now know was a huge, huge mistake and will now feel rude to retract the invite. since I invited her I have been having daily panic attacks and cannot think straight. I have tried and tried to reason with myself but something feels so incredibly wrong and my fight/flight mode has gone through the roof. Im torn between being the person that wants to be tough for the sake of the children and push through so they have a connection with their family/then the other side of me that frets and panics for weeks before any event because I cannot cope with being in the same room as them. I understand grandparents are important and I can deal with the MIL, but when they are altogether I feel threatened, unheard, unloved & alone. Do I put myself through that for the sake of my husband and children or do I break away for the sake of my sanity and a peaceful soul?

Wanderlust123 Estranged family relationship
  • replies: 2

Hi there, I have been estranged from my father for several years. We have never had a bad relationship, in fact we had a fantastic relationship when I was a child, however it slowly fizzled out as a teenager and now as an adult we do not talk. I do n... View more

Hi there, I have been estranged from my father for several years. We have never had a bad relationship, in fact we had a fantastic relationship when I was a child, however it slowly fizzled out as a teenager and now as an adult we do not talk. I do not recall an exact moment that lead to us to being estranged, and for years I struggled with how this happened and blamed myself that I didn't try hard enough, but later I came to tell myself it was not my fault because I was a child in all this as a way of coping and went about my life. However, today I gained a new perspective. I decided to open old messages and realised on multiple occasions over the past several years he had reached out to catch up, however I had ignored these messages. This might sound strange, but I do not remember this happening. I had been telling myself that he was not making an effort for all these years but today I realised he was - it has completely shaken me and made me feel awful. I fear I am entering the cycle of blaming myself again for our non-existent relationship. I'm not sure what to do now. At first I wanted to reach out, but upon pondering it more, the thought seems so scary and brings up so many emotions. I worry that I am not ready and will not be able to sustain the energy to build the relationship, as I've tried this in the past and it had fizzled out. At the same time I'm fearing rejection that he may not wish to give the relationship another go. What should I do? I feel like I need to work through some emotions surrounding this, especially as this relationship has been impacted by my parent's divorce and new family units. I have never been to a therapist/counselling and I'm not sure if that is the best solution for me. I have found reading books written by psychologists helpful in the past, and feel reading other people's similar situations may help too. Looking for suggestions on what action to take next, and any recommended reading material. Thanks

Strugglingmum88 New mum reaching out for help,advise,and to talk
  • replies: 2

Hi I don't know if this is the right place to reach out for help but I hope it is I am a 1st time mum I have been with my partner for around 10years we struggled alot with falling pregnant I had several misscarragies. We went through IVF And we were ... View more

Hi I don't know if this is the right place to reach out for help but I hope it is I am a 1st time mum I have been with my partner for around 10years we struggled alot with falling pregnant I had several misscarragies. We went through IVF And we were successful our 1st time. I now have a 4 month old son please don't get me wrong I LOVE My son more then anything in this world.. but I feel alone ! I cry sometimes for no reason. My partner doesn't understand. I don't feel as connected with my son as I think I should be. Please is there any mums that can relate who are happy to talk to me.

Pringlelover24 I miss my ex so much
  • replies: 7

hi, almost a year ago I cheated on my boyfriend of about 1.5 years. It was the worst mistake of my life and I lost everything along with my boyfriend. I take full responsibility for my actions as well. I moved away for college and tried to make new f... View more

hi, almost a year ago I cheated on my boyfriend of about 1.5 years. It was the worst mistake of my life and I lost everything along with my boyfriend. I take full responsibility for my actions as well. I moved away for college and tried to make new friends but to no avail. I had some pretty terrible stuff happen to me when I moved away and I can’t help but think none of this would have happened if I didn’t cheat. I met a guy in my new town and we connected, after only knowing each other for about 2 weeks in person, he moved into my family home. We fight everyday about the silliest things. My dad has noticed we fight and doesn’t like my boyfriend. My old boyfriend constantly pops into my mind. We never fought like this, we were best friends and I loved him so much. I think I still do. I haven’t spoken to him since we broke up and our old friend group banished me as well. There’s so much I miss, his family was like my family and I miss them too. He is so angry at me over what happened and I get that because I broke his heart. I just want him back but idk if I should try and reach out to him. I doubt he will be happy to hear from me but my heart literally hurts when I think about him. does anyone have any advice?

memory_lane can someone please shed some light?
  • replies: 9

Hi all, I am new to this. I am really anxious on posting this. This is complicated as I really need to have another perspective. I met my partner and been together for nearly 4 years while we both are separated from our previous marriages. We are ver... View more

Hi all, I am new to this. I am really anxious on posting this. This is complicated as I really need to have another perspective. I met my partner and been together for nearly 4 years while we both are separated from our previous marriages. We are very happy together and is serious about our relationship. We kept our relationship under the lid as we are going through our own divorces process. He has introduced me to his closest cousins. Our current situations are: he is living with his parents and going back to fix it up so that they can put it on the market and he stay over there every now and then to look his children. Whilst, my ex-husband and I are separated under the same roof and sorting out our settlement. We both have two teenage children. Until things started to change during the pandemic, we could not see each other for 4mnths due to the lockdown. The lockdown has been really hard. He had started to take some anti-depressants and he is consistently flat and shut down. Now, I just feel like I am the only one who has been open about what is happening at my end right now and not so much on his side. He has become very negative about everything. I am worried and anxious as I have fallen very much in love with him. I am not sure if I am over-reacting or I am just insecure?

Elsam Two lovers
  • replies: 2

I recently become separated from my husband and am going through divorce. I have met the nicest gentle kind guy, he is tall, hot and sexy in my eyes. I feel he is head over heels for me but not sure I feel the same. He is talking about a future but n... View more

I recently become separated from my husband and am going through divorce. I have met the nicest gentle kind guy, he is tall, hot and sexy in my eyes. I feel he is head over heels for me but not sure I feel the same. He is talking about a future but not sure I feel the same. I do really like him and we have been intimate but I just don’t seem to have that ecstatic butterfly feeling, maybe it will grow as we have only just started seeing each other. My biggest dilemma is I am totally in love with a guy overseas and we have not met yet. I do want to continue seeing the guy I am dating but at the same time do not want to lead him on and break his heart. I do not want to lose him at the same time just in case I never get to meet the guy I am really head over heels in love with, totally smitten and in love with him even though we have not met. What do I do? I feel myself holding back with this guy and ruining the experience with him because the love of my life is always on my mind. Help ???

PorkyPig19 I can’t stand my family
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone living In my house with my family is becoming unbearable!! I work around here on egg shells, my anxiety and depression are at an all time high. Im ringing to make an appointment with my counsellor for ASAP. I feel like I’m going crazy.

Hi everyone living In my house with my family is becoming unbearable!! I work around here on egg shells, my anxiety and depression are at an all time high. Im ringing to make an appointment with my counsellor for ASAP. I feel like I’m going crazy.

Overitt how long for a broken heart to heal
  • replies: 4

my one and only man in my life who been with for 14 years married for 11 he was my first, we have 4 kids together still young, and he decided he isn't happy anymore doesn't love me and is leaving, im heartbroken, I have plenty of support people aroun... View more

my one and only man in my life who been with for 14 years married for 11 he was my first, we have 4 kids together still young, and he decided he isn't happy anymore doesn't love me and is leaving, im heartbroken, I have plenty of support people around me family ect but I just cant stop crying im devastated, I love him so so much it hurts, I put on a fake front for my kids as we agreed to sit with them and talk to them I never want them to see me fall but im absolutely falling apart, how long will this be and I know time will heal but im just so lost

Jrc2021 He said he loved me but still left
  • replies: 1

My boyfriend of almost 2 years said he felt like he won the lotto with me and I was the only one for him. I believed him. He was struggling with depression being cooped up in our small town and so I suggested he get a job in a bigger town for a few m... View more

My boyfriend of almost 2 years said he felt like he won the lotto with me and I was the only one for him. I believed him. He was struggling with depression being cooped up in our small town and so I suggested he get a job in a bigger town for a few months. A month after he left he spoke about wanting to travel and work and that he was the happiest he’s ever been without me so we decided to break up. I’m devastated and hurt, how do I get through this?

Amore84 Depression, son with disabilities
  • replies: 6

Hi My son is 3 and has disabilities. There is no diagnosis for him & we don't know if he will ever walk or talk. I never knew there were so many ways to have your heart broken. It's particularly hard when we see him with other 3 year olds & see how d... View more

Hi My son is 3 and has disabilities. There is no diagnosis for him & we don't know if he will ever walk or talk. I never knew there were so many ways to have your heart broken. It's particularly hard when we see him with other 3 year olds & see how different he is. I love him with all of my heart but my heart is equally broken. I try to stay enlightened, he is happy & healthy otherwise. All the Drs know is that he had hypomylination but they can't find a disease that caused it. He improves each day & we are hopeful. Anyway I just wanted to share that I have this sinking feeling every day. I've never had depression before. But it seems like this is it. Its just this sinking feeling that never goes away. Its there when I wake up and all day. I used to wake up with excited butterflies if I had a fun day planned. Now I wake up and have to look through the sinking feeling to conceptualise the day ahead but I don't feel the excitement and life force I used to feel. I feel like im faking happiness when I interact with people they way they expect, a way that reflects my bubbly personality. But I don't feel how I'm acting. The uncertainty & grief for the life we thought we would have weighs heavy. The worry that our beautiful darling won't ever be able to walk to the water at the beach or know what its like to have a friend breaks my heart. This is my story.