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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Mudcakes Being made to feel like I’m on a list
  • replies: 0

Struggles with my friendship: He is the class clown, with depression, the nice guy. He has to literally show every single person he meets that he is nice. He asks the new kid: ”Have you eaten or drunk anything?” “You’ll do great here.” “What was your... View more

Struggles with my friendship: He is the class clown, with depression, the nice guy. He has to literally show every single person he meets that he is nice. He asks the new kid: ”Have you eaten or drunk anything?” “You’ll do great here.” “What was your last school?” “Yeah I was Physically abused at my old school.” “I appreciate your existence.” Every 5 seconds to me and other people. Yet is one word answers in text. Leaves randomly. “Says Mudcakes may be too young for this.” In a chat with my Mum. He’s a year older in my class. I said how I’m 16 not 5 and then he says “Well I grew up with old cartoons and shows.” I then listed 20 I have watched, even older. Treats me like I’m 5 ever since I said I have social anxiety. Even thinks I know nothing about sex and thinks he has to explain obvious innuendos. This girl who was basicly a toxic user/bully, who both separately treated us like trash he just lets back in. Is nice to her and expected me to hug him in front of her as she gave me a death stare. I feel like I’m just another on his list. He is kind to people to make himself feel better and it feels like he only cares when he needs validation he’s a nice person. He shows off all the time how he’s the nice guy. That’s not a nice person. I told him to have a few days off because he was being weird and I said just dont talk if you feel depressed, makes me feel not cared about with weird nothing answers. He then took 8 days off. I’m kind because I care, sure being nice to someone makes you feel good but that’s not the reason I am. Its just my nature and I care. I just feel like I am an item on a list. Another person to use to be nice to when he feels bad about himself. Thats not genuine kindness. He actually calls me his bestfriend. Took him a whole day to say happy birthday to me at school when we had plans for my birthday after school. Too busy helping his friends and their crying. I legit thought he forgot about it. Then just joked and hung out with my mum as I sat feeling like I did not need to be there. Made to feel like the 6 year old at an adults party. On my 16th birthday. I also invited him to this free lgbt event my first one and he goes “if I change my mind I can just leave”. He was the first person other than my mum I had come out to and now does not care at all, this is my first and is a major deal for me. I told him a major personal story and 2 photos and he says “Aww cute.” That’s it. After I waited 1 hour for a reply. I just

Lily123rose Feeling Lost - when someone can’t take no for an answer and let you move forward.
  • replies: 2

In 2019 I became friends with someone l and we became close very quickly. They wanted to be in a relationship with me, I wanted to be friends. They kept pushing the boundaries of friends. Constantly turning up to my house unannounced and contacting m... View more

In 2019 I became friends with someone l and we became close very quickly. They wanted to be in a relationship with me, I wanted to be friends. They kept pushing the boundaries of friends. Constantly turning up to my house unannounced and contacting me all the time. I told them that I wasn’t comfortable with this (t started to feel obsessive). The last time they turned up in 2019 I told them to leave and that I couldn’t be friends with them. I blocked their number and then on any social media. Sporadically they approach me, I ignore and I asking to please leave me alone. I have been followed to my car and listened to what they had to say recently. I have told them that they need to seek help and talk to someone that is not me. I was left shaking. I went home last week and looked into my options. I haven’t let others know but recently someone saw and told me that we needed to sort it out.... I am lost and confused as how can I sort it out? As someone who has requested space from someone else - whether it’s a female or male shouldn’t the other person move on respecting their wishes. It has been 2 years.. they haven’t threatened to physically hurt me but they emotionally continue to try and talk to me and watch me..I worry about them being obsessed with me.. and then thinking about me constantly. At this point I don’t know what to do anymore. Seeing as back in 2019 I recommend that he needed help and I cannot provide him with the help he needs and that as he couldn’t respect me than I will not talk to him or have anything to do with him until I was ready. No one probably had a clue how difficult he has made my life and I can’t handle this behaviour anymore. I am worried to be looked down on by others in the town I live. The person who witnessed the other day already made me feel like it’s a “he said she said” “deal with it” issue. I don’t know what to do but enough is enough. I can’t live and enjoy my life and I have no idea what to do.

CathyC Should I confront narcissistic parents?
  • replies: 1

A year ago I left my covert narcissistic husband. We have young kids. In the course of studying NPD, I came to understand (as many do) that my mother surely suffers from the same. I grew up with ZERO physical affection from my parents, have never hea... View more

A year ago I left my covert narcissistic husband. We have young kids. In the course of studying NPD, I came to understand (as many do) that my mother surely suffers from the same. I grew up with ZERO physical affection from my parents, have never heard them say they love me and without doubt my childhood was one of emotional neglect. I am on the fence as to whether my father has NPD or was just very selfish; I spent very little time with him growing up. Their reaction to me leaving my husband has been predictably disappointing. For example, my mother has lamented that she finds herself “stuck in the middle” and even wants to invite my ex to family gatherings (despite sufficient indication of the abuse I’d suffered). Confronting the fact that I have never received love from my parents has been truly debilitating. I’d previously always excused their behaviour by thinking that they love me, but just have a funny way of showing it. Now I've found out (they didn’t tell me and I don’t know if they know I know) that they have given both my siblings each a large deposit to buy property. It’s been quite some time and the same offer has not been made to me. Admittedly, I have my own money for a deposit, but this is due to the sacrifices I’ve made and the career I pursued over the years while my siblings enjoyed their lives without a thought for the future. It’s certainly not the first time my parents have helped them out. They’ve never helped me out. I’m now a single mum with almost full-time care of my kids and unemployed – that money would have taken a lot of stress away. Friends of mine think I should say something. But I don’t know – right now I’m feeling like I don’t want them in my life at all, although my kids would miss out on knowing their extended family. Also, I don’t see what I would gain from speaking to them, as I always end up being the one in the wrong (cue my mother’s eye rolls, called overreacting, oversensitive, etc). On the other hand, I’m not sure if I can continue to ‘fake it’ and carry on as though nothing has happened. It’s not really about them giving me money, it’s the unfairness at a time when I’m particularly vulnerable that hurts. I’d appreciate hearing any viewpoints, as right now I’m finding it very hard to function and I need to be there for my kids.

be_yourself I'm so angry at my husband all the time and feeling unhappy *TRIGGER WARNING*
  • replies: 7

I'm so annoyed with my husband when he uses his mobile phone or computer and do Facebook/ Instagram/ anything related to the social media. My point of view, he's so addicted to it. He just has to have his mobile phone next to him and can't stop touch... View more

I'm so annoyed with my husband when he uses his mobile phone or computer and do Facebook/ Instagram/ anything related to the social media. My point of view, he's so addicted to it. He just has to have his mobile phone next to him and can't stop touching it. We have three year old daughter and she usually has to call her dad more than 5 times to make him notice her. Another thing is he has very sweet tooth. He eats sweets all the time when he's home. I asked him not to eat in front of our daughter. But he just do it anyway. He eats chocolate, donut, chips, candy..... He's worse than two year old kids. He also eats very messy and he can't see it. Chocolate, and chips are always on the floor. And the last (for today), he says house work is women's job. He doesn't vacuum, mop, wash dishes, cook meals.... Not at all. He's messier than our three year old daughter. Oh one more thing, he doesn't know how to save money. He buys anything to our daughter. It's just so ridiculous to me. I've been telling him that small savings matter. Last 15 years, kept telling him to save money. Not happening even after having our baby. He's been always using credit card and now he tells me he has credit card debt that he struggle to paying back. We don't have a car. Still renting house... So I'm very angry at him.

Morning_sunshine Feeling devastated
  • replies: 8

I finally met a man I feel I can be completely myself around, who is caring, loving and thoughtful. He mentioned to me after five months of being together that he wanted a pre nuptial agreement before we moved in together. I was very hurt and felt in... View more

I finally met a man I feel I can be completely myself around, who is caring, loving and thoughtful. He mentioned to me after five months of being together that he wanted a pre nuptial agreement before we moved in together. I was very hurt and felt insulted by this request. He has a lot of debt from his last relationship and wanted to protect himself. I worked on this idea for five months and finally came around. When I saw the document, it was very one sided and this was confirmed by the lawyer I saw. My lawyer proposed some changes and my partner has recently indicated he will not budge. I have told my partner I am open to further negotiations; however, now it looks like he is shutting down on the relationship. I feel so confused and hurt and I can’t quite understand how he is not willing to negotiate any further. I feel like I’ve done so much work to get to this place of accepting a prenuptial and now that I have accepted and requested something that is a little more fair to me, he appears to have given up on us. He says I am the best girlfriend he has ever had and we bring each other so much happiness. I am really struggling to understand how we got to where we are. Am wondering if maybe I wasn’t understanding enough of his position? Am feeling so anxious and in shock as to where we are right now...

GrandEntrance Trusting partner again
  • replies: 2

I caught my partner having sexual conversations with another woman online while I was 6 months pregnant with his baby. He fell to pieces when I confronted him, saying he was sorry & that he thought of it as a type of porn - he didn’t think of the oth... View more

I caught my partner having sexual conversations with another woman online while I was 6 months pregnant with his baby. He fell to pieces when I confronted him, saying he was sorry & that he thought of it as a type of porn - he didn’t think of the other person as real. I honestly wasn’t sure how to handle it at the time & have tried to move past it, but now I have constant anxiety that he’s doing it still & just better at hiding it (he works in IT so is far more educated about net usage than I am). I check his phone & computer history, which I know is wrong. But when I do find that he’s been watching porn, it makes me feel even more anxious that I’m not enough for him. I can’t stop worrying about it. He knows I still get anxious about it but we just don’t seem to make any progress...we’ve previously discussed counselling but haven’t since. I just don’t know how to trust him again, because I really want to

MartinW Recent diagnosis of Bi Polar
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone I was recently diagnosed with Bi Polar. I feel so very low at the moment. I cannot work. I could not drag myself out of bed this morning. My wife is at the end of her tether with me. We have 2 beautiful boys together and a nice home and I... View more

Hi everyone I was recently diagnosed with Bi Polar. I feel so very low at the moment. I cannot work. I could not drag myself out of bed this morning. My wife is at the end of her tether with me. We have 2 beautiful boys together and a nice home and I should be happy I feel hopeless and don’t want to be a burden to my wife any more I have a referral to a mental health clinic but there is a 3-4 week waiting period. I cannot work let alone function as a family man at the moment. I would really appreciate any advice Thanks Martin

Louise13 The guilt of living apart from family
  • replies: 2

Hi all, I’m needing some encouragement at the moment... from anyone who can help or who may be experiencing a similar situation to myself. I grew up in WA, all of my family and friends live there, but I moved to NSW with my partner in 2019 (his famil... View more

Hi all, I’m needing some encouragement at the moment... from anyone who can help or who may be experiencing a similar situation to myself. I grew up in WA, all of my family and friends live there, but I moved to NSW with my partner in 2019 (his family are in NSW). Because of COVID I’ve only just been able to come back to WA and visit my family after nearly 1.5 years. This has been incredibly hard for me, as I’m very close with my parents/sibling, and I feel heartbroken to see my nephews growing up so quickly and I feel like I am missing out on so much.. I’m feeling incredibly anxious about going back to NSW after my holiday in WA ends in 2 weeks. I feel guilty for leaving my family again, I’m scared that something will happen to them and I worry that I will regret having ever moved away. I’m particularly stressed about covid’s border closures with my grandparents being old, and am worried that if something were to happen to them that I may not be able to get home again. On top of this im finding it so hard to manage my time in WA. I feel there are so many people I should be catching up with, including my best friend. But I feel all I want to do is be with my parents, my brother and my nephews. I don’t want to disappoint others but I feel so anxious about spending time out with friends at the expense of precious time with my family who I have missed so so much.. I feel even more guilty complaining of this as I know so many other people have it worse off than me, like people with family overseas. But this is my experience and what I’m feeling. I feel so anxious, worried and sad about leaving again before I’ve even allowed myself time to enjoy being here... it’s making me question why I moved in the first place. But I am studying and hoping to get a new career, but it does make you question whether all of this “bettering yourself” is really worth it if you have to do it away from the people you love most..

Tonyl relationship advice needed Pre menopausal wife married couple in 40s
  • replies: 6

Hi all i am chasing some genuine advice from people who have been in a similar situation. there is not a lot of reading and advice out there about Pre Menopause and how partners can cope with the side effects of this- my partner is in the early stage... View more

Hi all i am chasing some genuine advice from people who have been in a similar situation. there is not a lot of reading and advice out there about Pre Menopause and how partners can cope with the side effects of this- my partner is in the early stages we have both noticed the changes. massive mood swings, irritability, the infrequent periods- complete loss of sex drive etc- all the tell tail signs. As a husband i am trying to be supportive and loving as much as i can. However the aggression and snapping becomes too much sometimes, and i am generally struggling. i read a lot about how the divorce rates are the highest in this bracket. i can really understand the pressures , however i really dont want to end up another statistic. any advice would be helpful - id also love to hear your story's

doctorwho parents separating
  • replies: 7

so I heard not long ago that my parents are separating, I was initially really upset about it and I am still a bit sad about it. the thing I don't understand though is that they have already both moved on so quickly, by that I mean trying to pursue s... View more

so I heard not long ago that my parents are separating, I was initially really upset about it and I am still a bit sad about it. the thing I don't understand though is that they have already both moved on so quickly, by that I mean trying to pursue something with other people. is this weird? I sort of found it weird? they are not even divorced yet. what do you think? would love to hear your thoughts below