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PTSD and trauma

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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PinkFeather Dehumanising experience at doctors
  • replies: 3

Today I drove 3 hours to the doctors to get my psych re-evalutation. I am falling apart. It's official, I'm experiencing anxiety at unprecedented levels. To get there wasn't easy. You see I had to travel with my husband whom I'm on the brink of break... View more

Today I drove 3 hours to the doctors to get my psych re-evalutation. I am falling apart. It's official, I'm experiencing anxiety at unprecedented levels. To get there wasn't easy. You see I had to travel with my husband whom I'm on the brink of breaking up with...the icing upon so much trauma it doesn't even bear thinking about. The necessity for this second dr's trip was because the first time, said husband had a melt-down and punched a car in the street... all before my all important dr's appoint. Yes, I felt I had been purposely derailed. Needless to say, I'm a blithering mess at the appointment and the dr gives me meds and walks me to reception to make the next appointment. Next appointment (today) I arrive and they've changed dr's on me, and as he isn't my normal dr, said he couldn't give me a psych assessement so I can get a referral for some much needed help. Again I'm a blithering mess with this unknown dr today, who instead of apologising to me, just rings the receptionist and blasts her instead. Between tears I explain it's a 6 hour round trip and I don't have my own transport. On a positive note the meds are starting to help; they make me feel vulnerable thinking that I need to rely on them, so I was stubborn to seek help again on this front. They are working and I'm glad that I did. Love and blessings to you all.

BOC64 Christmas trauma
  • replies: 11

Hi I know for some people this is a great time of year but for me that is not the case. For me it is not as it trigger for my PTSD and although hate is a strong word it is the only word I can think of. Growing up it was just an excuse for the men (fa... View more

Hi I know for some people this is a great time of year but for me that is not the case. For me it is not as it trigger for my PTSD and although hate is a strong word it is the only word I can think of. Growing up it was just an excuse for the men (fathers family) to get drunk and treat the women as second class citizens. The men drank and the women work and there were often fights and jealousy between brothers, sisters and cousins. As the eldest grandchild there was an expectation on me that due to constant physical abuse I could not cope with. I will be with my mum, stepfather and a friendly uncle this year but unfortunately my stepfather is extremely jealous of anyone who spends time with mum especially me. He is belittling and emotionally abusive and although I am better at not letting it get to me it does from time to time. In fact a few years ago I was so close to lashing out but I didn't and for that I am very proud of myself. He once said to me "there is someone in MY house I wish wasn't here" obviously meaning me. Unfortunately that is the price I have to pay to see my mum. I know she wants out but due to his health and age she feels an obligation. To those of you that enjoy this time of year "Merry Christmas"

Mina19 Severe anxiety and ptsd symptoms
  • replies: 3

Hi people, im 21 now when I was 16 I experienced a really horrible trauma, a man I trusted for many years exposed himself. This man did this to other girls my age to and he went to jail. Since this event I began to develop severe anxiety, ptsd, panic... View more

Hi people, im 21 now when I was 16 I experienced a really horrible trauma, a man I trusted for many years exposed himself. This man did this to other girls my age to and he went to jail. Since this event I began to develop severe anxiety, ptsd, panic attacks and health anxiety and a host of physical symptoms especially my digestive system. My psychologist and doctor said it’s like I’ve held onto the trauma so long that it’s inflamed my intestines. One day it can be no symptoms and other days like loose stools, mucus and gas (sorry to much info) and I just don’t know why this trauma has still got a hold of me after all these years. Before this happened to me I was totally fine but now I’m constantly on edge, panicky and a host of physical symptoms that make me feel what if I’m dying. I feel so stupid and scared. There’s so much more I could say but my post would go on and on. I’m sorry for posting so much but I’m so scared I’m going to die of this ptsd.

Alexlisa Worried about seeing my parents over Christmas
  • replies: 3

I’m really worried about Christmas. There’s been some things that have come up recently that have reminded me of how my parents treated me growing up. Not well. I’m 40 now and as an adult I’ve always tried to keep the peace and be forgiving. We have ... View more

I’m really worried about Christmas. There’s been some things that have come up recently that have reminded me of how my parents treated me growing up. Not well. I’m 40 now and as an adult I’ve always tried to keep the peace and be forgiving. We have a pleasant enough relationship these days. But they’ve never acknowledged any of what happened and I often wonder if they have any regrets or have just minimised it in their minds. I’ve worked on it a lot with my psychologist over the years, but the cPTSD never really goes away. Anyway, it’s all felt very raw for me lately and I don’t want to see or speak to them at the moment. Bad timing right. I feel angry and sad and like I just can’t put on a happy mask with them right now. But I’m also scared to rock the boat (I’m scared of any confrontation because it never went well growing up) and feel guilty for possibly making my mum feel bad. It’s so messed up in my head right now.

Centaured What I deserved
  • replies: 5

There's stuff I've never told people before. I hate them, my family..but I feel guilty for being angry at them and tbh I don't blame them. I feel like I deserved what they did to me. My dad...he was sick, it wasn't his fault. Sometimes I wonder what ... View more

There's stuff I've never told people before. I hate them, my family..but I feel guilty for being angry at them and tbh I don't blame them. I feel like I deserved what they did to me. My dad...he was sick, it wasn't his fault. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if his tumour killed him instead of leaving him brain damaged. He was there growing up...but yet he wasn't. He was so absent he didn't even know the sexual abuse that happened in his very house. That leads to my brother...the perpetrator...what person does that to their sibling. He would say it was a game. I was his toy to use. It's left me scarred, I feel like I deserve nothing better than to be used by others. And my mum...she ran away (with another guy). and I blamed myself, especially because she would say I wasn't good enough. I wasn't good enough for anyone. My extended family...I don't know them. When I grew up and became unwell no cared. Barely anyone even sent a message when I became permanently disabled after a suicide attempt last year. They all say they love me....is this what love is, to be neglected, used, discarded and abandoned. I don't want to feel angry or sad about it...it's what I deserved, what I'll ever deserve. Maybe they're right...maybe I shouldnt be here anymore.

Jane-w Was this sexual assault? 
  • replies: 2

I went on 3 dates with a guy and on the 3rd date he came back to my flat. I agreed to consensual protected sex. Out of nowhere, he hurt me. He didn't ask for consent. I was really scared. He then asked it if was ok, I was so scared and in shock I kin... View more

I went on 3 dates with a guy and on the 3rd date he came back to my flat. I agreed to consensual protected sex. Out of nowhere, he hurt me. He didn't ask for consent. I was really scared. He then asked it if was ok, I was so scared and in shock I kind of mumbled yes. Then he hurt me again. I gasped and he said sorry. Was this sexual assault?

G12345 Humiliated
  • replies: 15

I feel emotionally humiliated because of my history of sexual abuse and I sometimes feel like I deserved what happened to me as an innocent child why I wasn't believed is why I blame i don't understand what I did to deserve a life where I don't feel ... View more

I feel emotionally humiliated because of my history of sexual abuse and I sometimes feel like I deserved what happened to me as an innocent child why I wasn't believed is why I blame i don't understand what I did to deserve a life where I don't feel free can anybody relate.

Lost4ever Human rights/ child abuse in sport
  • replies: 2

Does anyone have any advice of help to offer for survivors of child abuse. Currently being investigated through Australian human rights commission? Not every person wants to tell there story and just be another number, so where do we go from here?

Does anyone have any advice of help to offer for survivors of child abuse. Currently being investigated through Australian human rights commission? Not every person wants to tell there story and just be another number, so where do we go from here?

b_abbey trouble after divulging to my parents **trigger warning - sexual abuse**
  • replies: 21

Hi there. Thanks for looking. I have a problem with my family since I divulged I was sexually abused by my brother when I was 10-12ys old. He is 5 years my senior. Another girl, who lived near us growing up - came forward & said she was abused by him... View more

Hi there. Thanks for looking. I have a problem with my family since I divulged I was sexually abused by my brother when I was 10-12ys old. He is 5 years my senior. Another girl, who lived near us growing up - came forward & said she was abused by him, & when my parents told me she came forward - I took the opportunity to say "me too". At first I thought the response was quite good. My mother said "I'm sorry that happened to you" and my father was absolutely mortified. As time has moved on (3 years since I told them) I have tried to broach the subject & these comments were the responses (yes - I practically remember word for word): (1) This is very embarrassing for the family, please don't tell anyone (2) let's bury this in the back yard shall we? (2) we think you might have "false memories" (3) you are torturing us. You didn't tell us - so whose fault is that?! We would have done something if you had of told us! (angry tone) (4) & finally, just a couple of months ago "just get over it!!" in a very hostile tone - both of them said it twice & then they hung up on me, so we haven't spoken since So I bought it up with them those 4 times in the last 3 years. Obviously they are finding it difficult to handle. I was hoping they would help me heal - yet it's not going as planned! Was I expecting too much? I feel like I want to cut ties because perhaps they care more about their reputation, than their child's wellbeing, and then I consider well - I have damaged their wellbeing. And then I consider - only one person is at fault here, which is NOT me! I do wish I had never told them now. I do feel -not speaking up- is not exactly the best course of action either - and I'm worried he has done this to more survivors. I feel they are blaming me, or they just don't want to know. It doesn't help that the abuser is now a dr & he was the golden child, and he lives close to them & is in their ear suggesting this "false memory syndrome" They don't believe he abused the other girl in my street - so that's 2 of us they say they don't believe? On another occasion he was caught peering through a window at myself and another kid when we were in the bath when we were in 5th class. But I have no idea if he got into trouble for that or not - I think my mother just didn't tell my father Any advice? thanks for listening

Slipperyfish Coping with anniversaries.
  • replies: 2

Hi Just after some advice on how to deal with anniversaries as they come around. It’s 3 years tomorrow since I was sexually assaulted and over the past weeks my stress and anxiety has been taking over. I also keep dissociating and am having really ho... View more

Hi Just after some advice on how to deal with anniversaries as they come around. It’s 3 years tomorrow since I was sexually assaulted and over the past weeks my stress and anxiety has been taking over. I also keep dissociating and am having really horrid body memories and flash backs. So I don’t like to sleep either. I know I have many tools I can use to try and get through this time safely, but once I’m upset I find it hard to remember anything I’ve learned. I feel a bit like going insane. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.