Immediate support
Immediate support

PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

All discussions

Start a discussion

Pearllizie What is the recovery time after sexual and emotional abuse?
  • replies: 5

After being sexually abused by my father for ten years, I was then sexually and emotionally abused by my husband for 18 years. Currently, I am receiving therapy and my husband is not having sex with me (to allow me to heal). Unfortunately, my husband... View more

After being sexually abused by my father for ten years, I was then sexually and emotionally abused by my husband for 18 years. Currently, I am receiving therapy and my husband is not having sex with me (to allow me to heal). Unfortunately, my husband isn't patient and wants me to give him a timeline of when I'm ready to have sex again. He's tired of waiting and I'm supposed to tell him what to do in the meantime.I told him I'm working on it in the sessions. Having been abused for more than half my life, it will take time to heal. I've suffered much worse abuse from him than I did from my father. I need time. I only see my therapist every two weeks, and I have only seen her four times so far.Not only do we need to deal with sexual abuse, but also with emotional abuse. I explained to him that I cannot give him a timeline at this point, but he insisted that I give him one and he kept asking me what he was supposed to do for sex in the meantime.My patience with him ran out and I told him he was now reaping what he had sown. We would not have been in this situation if he hadn't treated me in such a manner and didn't force me to do things I didn't want to do. Now he is feeling upset and angry about something he caused. His actions have caused me to need therapy.He was very upset and I don't know what to say or do. I would appreciate any advice.Update:Almost a day had passed since he spoke to me last. His first action when he saw me was to take money out of his pocket and ask if he could buy me. He would pay me to have sex with him. It made me upset since this is what you do for a prostitute, and I told him he made me feel that way. However, he sees nothing wrong with that suggestion. I don't know how to get through to him.

Megs14 Impending heart surgery worry
  • replies: 7

My husband has recently found out during routine medical check that he may need possible heart valve replacement surgery. He is only 38, we have been together for nearly 20 years, we have one son who is 9. I have CPTSD from childhood trauma, growing ... View more

My husband has recently found out during routine medical check that he may need possible heart valve replacement surgery. He is only 38, we have been together for nearly 20 years, we have one son who is 9. I have CPTSD from childhood trauma, growing up with a narcissistic parent. I struggle with death, anything new, especially medical issues. I am beyond petrified that something will happen to him during surgery and worried he will change afterwards. I know this is all natural worrying about what may or may not happen, but it’s really hard to comprehend right now. We will find out next Friday what will need to be done, this coincides with my birthday, which is already hard given my history. I’m trying to be strong and doing as much research as I can to prepare myself for the worst case scenario. I don’t want to scare myself but I feel like if I educate myself it won’t come as much of a shock when we do get told the news if he has to go through with surgery soon.I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced this or is there anywhere I can turn to you to get advice?I know we will both probably need counselling, although I’m already seeing a psychologist and have been for quite some time.I want to be able to help him and we do have support from his family, but the worry of not knowing what’s going to happen really does make it difficult. We have had to put a lot of things on hold and a lot of plans have changed but I know in the Longrun, this is the right decision as I wouldn’t want something to happen to him in down the track, this is preventative and I know we are doing the right thing. Any advice would be appreciated.

Moose17 Are the Grow anxiety support groups helpful?
  • replies: 2

I’m in therapy for complex trauma, but I’m looking to start attending a support group because I have no support system outside of therapy. I attended one of The WayAhead support groups a couple of months ago, but they don’t hold those meetings near w... View more

I’m in therapy for complex trauma, but I’m looking to start attending a support group because I have no support system outside of therapy. I attended one of The WayAhead support groups a couple of months ago, but they don’t hold those meetings near where I live so I haven’t been back. Grow Australia offers a 12-step support group type thing near my place, so I was wondering if that might be more viable, but I’m wondering if others have found this helpful? Because of my trauma background, I’m very wary of socialising with others and I’m so scared of trying something like this and having it backfire. If you have any experience or advice about attending this support group (or any others) please do share if you can.

laureah21 Sleeping away from home questions
  • replies: 4

Hi all,recently I was at a hotel with my husband and felt a sense of panic. Like I was trapped in my room and needed to leave. Had this on a plane once to. This fear of being away from home at night is growing is this a form of agoraphobia? I didn’t ... View more

Hi all,recently I was at a hotel with my husband and felt a sense of panic. Like I was trapped in my room and needed to leave. Had this on a plane once to. This fear of being away from home at night is growing is this a form of agoraphobia? I didn’t allow myself to leave as hubby was unwell and asleep and we were far from home so had a bath instead and had a talk with myself. I have started to inspect my anxieties and fears and find it useful to be my own therapist a bit to hold them up. I’ve realised not everything I feel is truth so like to have a look at it first. This fear seems to be growing worse as I get older and is entirely physical symptoms. A feeling of sadness, a trapped feeling, panic symptoms. Started in late 20s. A feeling of having to be very vigilant away fromhome. Not sleeping well at all unless things are just right. No sound and no light is what I need . Don’t go on holidays and don’t enjoy them only for this reason. I’d love to otherwise. It’s The sleeping, once I’m asleep I’m ok. I can’t do meds either as have a paradoxical reaction to most mental health meds (Valium makes me want to fight people antidepressants suicidal etc ) apart from this imwell and happy so don’t need meds. It’s the leaving the house that’s hard. Now even late afternoon I have to push myself in winter. I get tired and then mentally can’t deal with itehich I think it’s around vigilence as I was thinking about the whys, my early 20s came to mind. Twice in my 20s two individual men have broken into my room in different places while I was sleeping, once in student accomodation as they had keys to my room and the other in a house share a man sharing a cab home with a housemate both had taken advantage of me while I was asleep. Turning the lights on is what woke me in one incident and noise of someone in the room in the other.which imthinking is the link with need for darkness and quiet to sleep.I’ve never considered it as a reason for my symptoms as for some trasonfont really rember it apart from it seemed better and safer to go along with the intrusion then fight so it wasn’t violent, but I did feel violated after. Just tried to brush it off and now a bit forgotten. do you think this could be the cause of my bodies physicalreaction to being away fromhome at night? should I speak to someone about it? does anyone else have trouble with this and what has helped. thanks

vavs Husband struggling with mental health
  • replies: 4

Hi there, Life’s been tough for me and my husband for the last 2 years and I’m hoping someone can give me some insight or advice.My husband has been a Police officer for 10+ years. He has been battling himself for many years, searching for happiness,... View more

Hi there, Life’s been tough for me and my husband for the last 2 years and I’m hoping someone can give me some insight or advice.My husband has been a Police officer for 10+ years. He has been battling himself for many years, searching for happiness, peace and ease in his life but forever battling his thoughts and emotions. His job comes with horrible trauma and grief and I am very aware of that. He does have PTSD and dealing with complete burnout. A year ago, after him being distant, withdrawn, short tempered and not being a partner in life with me for some time, he told me he doesn’t know if he wants to be with me anymore. My heart broke, as at that time our baby was not even 1. I tried and tired to support and understand him but he was unable to say anything more than “I don’t know”. For years everyone around has seen his decline in general tolerance, care for himself, his lack of effort and empathy for others and his need to control everything increased. We ended up separating last year. The separation hasn’t been a clean cut. We talk always, FaceTime for our son, still gather in family and friend situations…our relationship just felt so unfinished and blurry, but he was still unable to give me or himself clarity.Earlier this year he attended a mental health retreat and came back renewed, inspired and mentally clear. He said he wants to be with me and wants a future together….just not right now. He needs more time to work on himself. I’m trying my best to continue to be supportive and allow him that time and space but he is so focused on himself he doesn’t give any effort to me and our relationship. I am needing to rebuild trust, I need reassurance, I need to be shown love from him and I need to know that there’s no pushing me away, I need to be shown that we can be a team again and make it work. But it feels like he doesn’t have capacity for that.I have been a single mum for nearly a year now, dealing with heartbreak, loneliness, exhaustion and sadness on my own- While everyone is trying to support him and help him, and I’m feeling like collateral damage. I am wanting to move forward together but it feels like I’m expected to wait forever and forgive unconditionally. There’s been no accountability from him for what this situation has done to me and my son. No apology, no recognition. I’m feeling lost, I don’t know what to do anymore. I nearly at my breaking point of not being able to live in this heartbreak limbo. What should I do? Continue to wait with no guarantee or take steps to move my life into a different direction? Or any other options…? thank you for your time and responses.

Patches63 Mix of emotions
  • replies: 7

Talking with a friend yesterday she pointed out to me that there are few topics that I talk about on semi regular basis. I know I’ve mentioned them couple times, she tells me I’ve mentioned lot more than that. I never realised. Main areas related to ... View more

Talking with a friend yesterday she pointed out to me that there are few topics that I talk about on semi regular basis. I know I’ve mentioned them couple times, she tells me I’ve mentioned lot more than that. I never realised. Main areas related to reasons I chose to retire early and feelings of being let down by cousins, my only living relatives, especially at Christmas and on my birthday. part of me knows this friend cares deeply about me and would never do or say anything to hurt or upset me. I felt a sting for her words though and they hurt. We usually chat online once a week, at the moment I’m struggling to want to chat with her. anyone else experienced similar? Is this linked to head and heart trying to cope with things?

Anna-anastasia How do I help my husband? PTSD
  • replies: 2

Hi, I'm new here and I'm posting this out of desperation with the hope that I might be able to find some advice on how to help my husband and save our relationship. We have been married for almost 10 years and have children together. He is a wonderfu... View more

Hi, I'm new here and I'm posting this out of desperation with the hope that I might be able to find some advice on how to help my husband and save our relationship. We have been married for almost 10 years and have children together. He is a wonderful, genuine person and I love him to death. From the day he was born he has experienced trauma. Childhood abuse, extreme domestic violence in his family home, surviving and escaping a wartorn country after watching many die. He eventually married and had a family which led to a divorce in the most traumatic way. She took his children and she ran and vowed he would never see them again. He came to Australia and got remarried to me. I am almost certain that he has PTSD. He has extreme defensiveness and episodes of anger that I cannot understand. At times i ask him a simple question and he behaves as if I have attacked him. Other times he lashes out at me for no reason and I can't understand why he has become so angry. He needs to have control of everything and I have fought him tooth and nail since the day we met to have control as well. If I did not have such a strong determined personality myself, he would be controlling me too, but I have not allowed that to happen. He is not abusive and he hates violence. However, his defensiveness and anger it's taking its toll on me and I don't know what to do to help him. He refuses to accept that there is something wrong, and he refuses to speak to anybody about it. I can't even speak to him about my own feelings, because if I do he interprets it as if I am attacking him. And no matter how much I explain to him that I am only trying to explain my own feelings or hurt. It doesn't make a difference. For example, the other day I was expressing how exhausted I am juggling so many things at the same time. He responded to me as if I had accused him of being the reason for my exhaustion. This happens all the time, I feel like I cannot turn to my husband and tell him anything. Discuss my feelings with him because he will interpret it as an attack. I can't discuss my problems with him because he will try to control the situation. I can't try to make a decision with him because he will make the decision for me. I can't go out in public with him because I don't know if I might look at him the wrong way or say something the wrong way that will make him suddenly yell at me. I know this sounds like we have a horrible relationship but we don't. He's such an incredible person and I want to help him and not lose him. What do I do if he will not get help? How do I reassure him that I'm not a threat? How do I reduce his anxiety?

Patches63 Unsure best steps
  • replies: 5

Hi, I’m new to the forums and think I may have PTSD. When I was about 9 my dads only brother committed suicide in his family home. When I was about 11 my mums youngest sister died of heart attack as side effect effect of MS and for long time I strugg... View more

Hi, I’m new to the forums and think I may have PTSD. When I was about 9 my dads only brother committed suicide in his family home. When I was about 11 my mums youngest sister died of heart attack as side effect effect of MS and for long time I struggled to deal with her death. Within the following couple years my remaining grand parents both died and my dad had a stroke that saw him become physically and verbally abusive. When I was 16 my mum and I fled family home and did not return for approx 4years which was after my dad was in long term medical care. 23 December 2006 my mum took heart attack in my arms and didn’t survive, not long after I thought about suicide, went to gp who referred me to physc at some stage. I was discharged from his care after approx yr. November 2019 I was involved in near fatal car accident on my way home from visiting my husband in oncology ward due to truck verging into my lane. Lots of things that happened when I was a teenager with my dad I don’t remember or feels like I’m only watching. I have panic attacks when driving near trucks. I have recently sold my home and am having flashbacks in my sleep of aftermath of my uncles suicide. Can calmly write these words as if didn’t happen to me and other times can’t stop crying

lemonsqueeze Stomach anxiety
  • replies: 4

Hi guys! I'm really struggling with life ATM and was hoping to connect with people who may be experiencing what I'm going through.Long story short Ive experienced childhood trauma which has made me more anxious than a typical person. Anyways, this ha... View more

Hi guys! I'm really struggling with life ATM and was hoping to connect with people who may be experiencing what I'm going through.Long story short Ive experienced childhood trauma which has made me more anxious than a typical person. Anyways, this happened in school were I was hungry and my stomach rumbled I immediately panicked in class, and was so embarrassed. A boy laughed and my life has never been the same since. I would get anxious it would happen again, and it did,and he would laugh more and more, then it escalated to other classes, outside school etc. It has plagued my life. I have tried all types of meds, therapy, etc but nothing seems to work. Because of this problem I find it very hard to leave the house and when I do I'm often met with people laughing, mimicking the sound, saying I'm gross etc. I don't remember the last time I was able to go to the cinema or 'normal' places people enjoy. I really hope there is someone out there that can relate, cause at this point I really feel my life is worthless.

Sej Years of childhood abuse
  • replies: 59

Hi, This is my 1st time posting. I have been through years of sexual, emotional, and physical abuse when I was a child. It started when I was 6. I buried everything as much as I could when I became an adult. I didn't want people to worry, and I could... View more

Hi, This is my 1st time posting. I have been through years of sexual, emotional, and physical abuse when I was a child. It started when I was 6. I buried everything as much as I could when I became an adult. I didn't want people to worry, and I couldn't cope with it. I put myself in a horrible workplace. and I struggled and became suicidal. I knew I needed help and started seeing a Psychologist. I have been seeing her since July. I recently did the ptsd test and got 64 points. It was a good yet terrifying feeling. My thoughts and emotions weren't made up. I am seeing my Psychologist twice a week as I am having repressed memories come back and recurring nightmares. I struggle with trust and I am so scared that my Psychologist won't want to see me anymore. She has made it abundantly clear she is there for me, but I can't help it. I am still trying to process the past, the future, the therapy. My head is like a tornado, just filled with insults, abuse, hate towards myself, memories and pain. Will this stop?