Immediate support
Immediate support

PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

All discussions

Start a discussion

Shittenbricks Finding out about severe emotional trauma in my childhood
  • replies: 1

ive written this out SO many times im so tired so have this crappy thing. can elaborate or explain more if asked. had dinner with my dad and bf today. im 18 bf is 19. me and mum have been fighting recently primarily bc she does not understand ADHD. w... View more

ive written this out SO many times im so tired so have this crappy thing. can elaborate or explain more if asked. had dinner with my dad and bf today. im 18 bf is 19. me and mum have been fighting recently primarily bc she does not understand ADHD. went to this sushi joint next to ikea. dad gave me some advice revealed to me that mum has a history of manipulation, lying, not taking responsibility for her actions, twisting things to be anyone elses fault. said she had been investigated for corruption in her job bc was bankrupt and having an affair with her boss. didnt know any of this. she dumped all of her debt on my dad. dropped the big one: she screamed at me as a child to the point i was balled up in the corner. multiple times. no freaking wonder i cant stand being yelled at or told off. the other day she said all of my reasons for being upset are stupid. said my bf cant stay anymore bc my room is a little too messy (couple things on the floor, i like keeping it clean and clean it everyday???)i also cant move out lol she wont allow it. she also wants board. what. the crap. ok goodnight lol

Elle42 Family covered up sexual abuse
  • replies: 13

My uncle tried to groom me starting from when I was 12 (He would pay special attention to me). I didn't realise his intentions until I was about 14 and he started sending me emails that were inappropriate. At first I just emailed back until a particu... View more

My uncle tried to groom me starting from when I was 12 (He would pay special attention to me). I didn't realise his intentions until I was about 14 and he started sending me emails that were inappropriate. At first I just emailed back until a particular email confirmed the way he felt about me. At the same time, my parents told me they would organise a skiing holiday for me in new Zealand where my uncle lives. His wife (mums sister) would come to Australia for a visit while I would go there and be with my uncle and my two cousins. I realised that this way his way of getting me all alone so he could potentially do more than just flirt by email. I told my mum and she said she would keep me safe and make sure I was never alone with him and to cut off emails with him. She said we couldn't tell anyone else because it would hurt our family. I didn't have to see my uncle often, but he would come to Australia for big family events. When I was around 24 I told my aunty what had happened. My aunty almost seemed relieved as he had accused her of being crazy every time she got angry about his attention to younger girls. She still didn't want others to know and I respected that. Now I'm 27 and in therapy again for some recent panic attacks. The night of my last appointment we talked about my mum covering this up I was a mess. All I could think about was what he did and how she valued everyone else's feelings over my own. I kept thinking what if he abused me as a young child and I don't remember (I realise this is unlikely but I'm a paranoid person and don't remember much of my early childhood due to bullying). I didn't go to work the next day and spent it either asleep or crying. That night I rang my mum still in a bad state and asked her if she could talk to my aunty about uninviting my uncle to my wedding in October. I said maybe he could say he needs to work or make another excuse. My mum's response initially was that it would be an awkward conversation for her but I explained what had hurt me so much and how it still does. She agreed to talk to my aunty. The next day she told me that she ended up telling my dad. I haven't talked to her since and I'm nervous to hear what happened when she talked to my aunty and to know how my dad is taking it. I'm happy he knows but it's all a lot right now. I've felt so on edge all week.

Eagle Ray Denial of sexual abuse in extended family
  • replies: 37

Potentially distressing content warning Hi, I’m currently trying to bring myself to communicate with an extended family member regarding her ongoing denial of four years of sexual abuse done to a cousin when she was a child. In fact she pretends the ... View more

Potentially distressing content warning Hi, I’m currently trying to bring myself to communicate with an extended family member regarding her ongoing denial of four years of sexual abuse done to a cousin when she was a child. In fact she pretends the person abused doesn’t exist. The mother of this child (different to above person) blamed her daughter for the abuse and abandoned her. The perpetrator got away with it. This same perpetrator attempted to groom me as a child but I was fortunately never alone with him. Another relative did as well in front of other family including my parents who did nothing to stop his behaviour, but again I was never completely alone and apart from suggestive comments and being leered at and asked to do things for him, nothing actually happened. He later went to prison for abusing another under-age person. I’m not sure my question fits here because it’s primarily about the abuse of someone else. But what I’d like to know is how have others handled denial of sexual abuse in families and the ongoing lies and cover ups that can go on for years? As a younger adult I have experienced two sexual assaults and so I feel all the more angry about how the abuse of a family member is denied. I refuse to pretend the person doesn’t exist and I have nothing to do with her mother who abandoned her. The other family member is trying to get me to connect with the mother and I will not do this. This keeps coming up at the moment and I’m thinking of writing a letter to the family member I’m struggling with right now. I believe she tries to cover up the abuse because she has been scared for years to rock the boat. But I feel I have to rock the boat even though it’s likely to be destructive of my relationship with family members. I only found out about the abuse of this cousin in my 20s when my parents told me, years after it occurred. The perpetrator died recently which has put a spotlight back on this issue. Has anyone had to handle something like this? What did you do? How did it go? I have a feeling it’s going to go badly but I refuse to play the denial game. I have never met the cousin in question as she was ex-communicated from her family decades ago. I’m only recently discovering the extent to which other family have gone to cover up the abuse and it’s upsetting me. My parents have died so I can’t discuss it with them now.

Nyla Being Triggered & Pregnancy
  • replies: 7

Hi All, I've just had a bit of a day. I have not been triggered for a long time and work with at risk youth, so constantly exposed to situations. I have been diagnosed with Bipolar and Complex trauma, all has been under control for quite some time. S... View more

Hi All, I've just had a bit of a day. I have not been triggered for a long time and work with at risk youth, so constantly exposed to situations. I have been diagnosed with Bipolar and Complex trauma, all has been under control for quite some time. Second trimester of pregnancy, which I know can trigger issues in bipolar, but finding it is more the trauma that is getting triggered.Today I was simply in some basic training, going through a scenario and a story shared triggered me big time. To the point of dissociation and flashbacks. To put into perspective, I am the colleague everyone comes to, because I can cope with all situations and often find pathways through. I took me a while to get to this point, but never in last 5 years have I been triggered by a real situation let alone a case study.I have done all my little tricks and things, but nothing is really working. I simply have not been able to shut up the feelings, thoughts, memories, etc. Really panicked about the pregnancy on top of it. Just not ok.In the back of my mind is is any of this going to trigger my Bipolar and cause an episode or the psychosis that can occur during pregnancy.... lets face it, if I have an episode, psychosis is on the agenda for me anyways. Again, I have not had a serious episode for years and really do not need the fall out in my life it causes. What the hell do I do?

Orangeicy A flying monkey or possible friend
  • replies: 5

A little over 7months ago I left a group of friends after we let in a narcissist who gradually pushed me out.This person used all the classic tactics like triangulation, projection, never speaking directly to me etc.Had the other group members convin... View more

A little over 7months ago I left a group of friends after we let in a narcissist who gradually pushed me out.This person used all the classic tactics like triangulation, projection, never speaking directly to me etc.Had the other group members convinced that I wasn't worth the friendship. So when I spoke up about how I felt like there had been a shift they all stonewalled me. I left. They've all ignored me these past months. Crossing the road if they saw me, avoiding eye contact. The narc herself is the only one who has walked past me with a smirk on her face looking directly at me. Fast forward to the last 2 weeks. Suddenly a member of the group is acknowledging me, saying hi and talking. Surface level, but still.She seemingly isn't in the group any longer. I was and am very hesitant. This person was the one I considered the best friend of the group. Also the one who broke my heart the most. I'm sort of stuck between hoping she has realised what went down, maybe she got similar treatment. Or - its part of the game with the narc sitting as a big spider pulling the strings. The rest of the group, who've been ignoring me for months are now glaring my way. I've never seen anybody look with such hate in their eyes as when they looked.Maybe they think I told her my version of a narrative they tried so desperately to control..even if I haven't.Being a scapegoat regardless to what I have or haven't done. And I just don't know if I should risk letting this person back in. I miss what was, but maybe I am just thinking back to the golden days before she was so easily duped by the narcissist and gladly left me behind. I am an introvert, a people pleaser and find it extremely hard making friends. Maybe that's why it has this pull on me. I have been thinking that IF I was to reconnect with this friend it has to start with an open talk about the fact that she hurt me and that I will be needing a policy on honesty and openness. But still very hesitant whether or not I should bother, if it's safe.

2_Shattered BPD Wife Suicide Infidelity
  • replies: 1

This has been my extremely painful experience. I am terrified writing this as I am full of fear that I will be recognised. I met a beautiful woman and it was bliss. We had an instant connection. As time progressed I honestly felt she was the one. Sou... View more

This has been my extremely painful experience. I am terrified writing this as I am full of fear that I will be recognised. I met a beautiful woman and it was bliss. We had an instant connection. As time progressed I honestly felt she was the one. Soul mate even. The absolute funniest person ever. Maybe 9 months into our relationship I noticed one night that her belly was extremely bloated. She was athletic. I ended up taking her to the hospital. This is the beginning of my partner getting sick. Looking back I knew nothing as she hid and lied which will come up later. All I knew is that my partner had a serious heart infection. Life threatening. Basically the next year I supported her in every way. Even though I earn good money I got a second job. I paid all her bills. Her credit cards. Her rent. Everything. To ensure that she had everything. This cost me a lot of my friends. Telling me that she is not my responsibility ect. I was getting mentally sick. Really sick. I was with the woman I love. It was her and I verse the world. She would hug me and cry asking me to never leave. I did my absolute best for her. I loved her. The inevitable day comes and we are in hospital. Over the next week I was communicating with her parents living in another state. This was going to be a 6 month hospital stay. Then I get a call saying my partner has disappeared. What? Why? She has BPD. What? The next few weeks are a blur. Not knowing anything. She could drop dead any second. I received a call from a Dr saying that she had been found and is in another hospital. Basically I was told to not come as her whole family were there. That was hard. I reminded myself. This is not about me. I am going crazy as I want to see her.I am going nuts. Walking 30km a day. Then on the 8th day I receive a call that she has passed. I received a call a week later saying she was buried the day before. I know this was hard on everyone involved. The next year I was in a haze. Lost my business of 20 years due to not being able to work. Not paying bills. Not washing. Not opening mail etc.It was like I had been hit in the head. I was in daze. What happened? My best friend, my heart. I then was going through our computer. WTF? She had 4 men. ISex Video about 6 weeks before her death. Old man. Talking and laughing about taking all my money. Laughing that she is going to die.

Quinn2 Struggling to move on
  • replies: 1

Hi,I don’t even know why I am posting here, I guess I am just at a loss on what to do and how to start trying to pick myself back up again. my ex broke up with me two weeks ago. He did it in such a way that he blocked me and completely cut me off, re... View more

Hi,I don’t even know why I am posting here, I guess I am just at a loss on what to do and how to start trying to pick myself back up again. my ex broke up with me two weeks ago. He did it in such a way that he blocked me and completely cut me off, refusing to talk to me. We went from discussing what movie we were going to see to him screaming down the phone that I am fat and ugly, and that he doesn’t want me anymore. I went to his house to talk to him and to try and get my things back, and he told me that I was stalking him when that wasn’t my intention at all. I just was so confused I didn’t know what I had done wrong, and just wanted my stuff back and to make sure he was alright. It was so out of the blue. He trash talked me to mutual friends, and called me so many names, he has called me a wh*re and a sl*t amongst other things because I have kids to different fathers - all out of long term relationships, but it has made me feel really awful. The same day he broke up with me I found out that my contract was expiring and the business can’t afford to keep me on so I am essentially jobless in three weeks and struggling to find another contract. I feel so overwhelmed and stressed, and the break up itself put me into a major depressive episode where I’ve just stayed in bed and cried for about a week and a half. I had only just begun to pull myself out of it when he got back in touch around concert tickets we had that we were going to go see together. We decided to go together, and had a nice time. Since then I have spoken to him briefly over the phone every day for ten minutes. He refuses to give me any more of his time claiming he is busy with work and that he doesn’t know what he wants, after giving me the impression that we could work things out. When I said okay I need to walk away and let you go, because it isn’t fair for me he then didn’t want me to do that either. I have a lot of past trauma from DV previously, and I feel like this entire experience has triggered me. Any advice on how to let go and move on, and pull myself out of this major depressive episode? I’m so tired of feeling tired and lost.

Rhysah PTSD from past relationships
  • replies: 1

Hi I came across this website and hope to have someone relate to my story or offer ways of healing. I am a victim of domestic violence with the father of my child whom I was with for 7.5yrs. He was a manipulative person, I never felt loved by him he ... View more

Hi I came across this website and hope to have someone relate to my story or offer ways of healing. I am a victim of domestic violence with the father of my child whom I was with for 7.5yrs. He was a manipulative person, I never felt loved by him he treated me terribly and would abuse me in front of our child. We would argue over him not wanting to provide financially and he later on turned to drugs. I was contacted by DCP as there we’re 42 police reports of myself, family and neighbours calling the police for help on various occasions. I cried when I found that out, it had gone too far and there was no way I was getting my child taken off me so I gained the courage to leave. I began counseling and after 6 months I was able to see that we we’re better off apart.Two years later I got into another relationship with someone who mentally abused me. I confided in him and trusted that he would be understanding of my past but instead used my weaknesses against me. He lied to me about wanting to love me better and that he too had been in a domestic violence relationship which was a lie. I ended up finding out that he was still with his ex partner and was playing both of us. It destroyed me as we had planned so much of our futures together. I fell into depression and stopped eating. My motivation to work or gym had stopped and I would only get up out of bed to get my son to school, otherwise I’d go straight home and lay in bed all day asking myself why I wasn’t good enough for him. I cried myself to sleep too many times and felt worthless. My past trauma is now affecting my relationship now, I can’t help but to think he doesn’t have good intentions and I’m always on high alert of any signs of abandonment. We are continuously arguing because I overthink things and it’s very unhealthy for the both of us. I love him so much and just want us to be happy but my PTSD is ruining that

Shazzyy Former Love Interest
  • replies: 1

I have never been diagnosed with PTSD (mainly because getting a diagnosis scares me a bit), but I keep having reoccurring dreams about a former love interest of mine who left me three years ago (I had fancied him for seven years). He's constantly on ... View more

I have never been diagnosed with PTSD (mainly because getting a diagnosis scares me a bit), but I keep having reoccurring dreams about a former love interest of mine who left me three years ago (I had fancied him for seven years). He's constantly on my mind, so much so that it almost terrifies me when I think I'm going to bump into him at the mall or at the city. He used to drive a white car (can't remember the brand), and even seeing those woosh past me on the road scares me; I fear I may see his face in the window. And when I went to Kmart a month or so ago, I felt this surge of anxiety when I saw a man that looked really, really similar to him. He was at the entrance checking people's receipts and greeting customers, but I was so relieved when I saw he had brown eyes instead of blue like the love interest, and his leg muscles were thicker than said love interest (who was practically bone thin). I feel like my experience is too small to label as trauma, but it feels like trauma to me. It ticks pretty much all the symptoms that fall under PTSD, but I still feel like it's not "good enough" or not "extreme" enough to be labelled as trauma. This man was neither abusive nor hurtful. He was actually a really nice guy, but he had flaws. Flaws that my brain refuses to overlook. He was several red flags and yet I walk past him as if I'm colourblind.I'm not sure why I'm sharing this, but maybe someone else is going through the same thing out there...I just feel stupid for feeling this way.

JIvy13 struggling with sexual assault
  • replies: 6

I was sexually assaulted over a year ago. I thought I had come to terms with it and healed from it, but recently it's all I think about. Everyone tells me it's not my fault but I'm always asking myself if there's more I could have done instead of jus... View more

I was sexually assaulted over a year ago. I thought I had come to terms with it and healed from it, but recently it's all I think about. Everyone tells me it's not my fault but I'm always asking myself if there's more I could have done instead of just freezing up and saying nothing. I keep wondering if I made it up or if it even happened and now I'm blaming myself,