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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Anroca78 Need urgent info on flash memories, please help
  • replies: 2

Hi, a few weeks ago I posted asking anyone about information on I think it is called flash memories. I have an appointment with a therapist and I have no idea about years of quick images that have become more rapid and frequent, probably because the ... View more

Hi, a few weeks ago I posted asking anyone about information on I think it is called flash memories. I have an appointment with a therapist and I have no idea about years of quick images that have become more rapid and frequent, probably because the last few months have been really hard, attempted od ( thank god my partner stopped that) but it's because of these images and not knowing if they are real or not ,is driving me nuts( more than usual!). Even looking up info I am still confused. I am bipolar 2 so does this change my condition to bipolar 1,? Delusions? Oh crap, have no idea what to say to this psych and will she know what I am raving on about. 28 yrs of seeing these flashes, must be something right?. Please reply if you have an idea what I'm trying to explain cos I ain't got a friggin clue lol Cheers

Moscow45 Physical abuse as a child still affecting me
  • replies: 2

Helloi just want to know if I should go and see a doctor about "depression" or "anxiety" or whatever I have. I've taken so many online surveys and been through thousands of forums and I'm still undecidedas a kid my parents split when I was 10, and th... View more

Helloi just want to know if I should go and see a doctor about "depression" or "anxiety" or whatever I have. I've taken so many online surveys and been through thousands of forums and I'm still undecidedas a kid my parents split when I was 10, and that never had never been a problem for me, but should it have been? Then my mother found a new boyfriend and all was well until we moved in with him and when she wasn't at home he would yell and scream at me and my 3 sisters. I (being the only boy) was also physically abused.All of this went on behind my mothers back when she went to work and we never dared say anything in case he went off his trolley again. I believe my sister was sexually assaulted but I have never known the true story on that and I am afraid to ask her about it. My sisters and I all made a pact to never tell my mum about what had happened because she already suffers from depression and bipolar and to be honest it wouldn't resolve anything by telling her my mum and this man broke up after 5 years, but I had only been 16 by that time and very dark on the world. I tried to end my life many times as a teenager but I could never follow through with it. I then went to live with my dad and he's such a great guy and we discuss what happened every now and then and it helps but it doesn't fix what's wrong with me.this morning for example, I woke up happy as larry, got out of bed happy, made breakfast happily, and then out of the blue I collapse and have no energy to do anything. Why do I feel this way? I don't want to see a GP or anything, I just want to know why my moods are so up and down constantly. I also get angry but not in a normal way I don't think. I loose my mind and all I see is black and white. I feel like this has a connection to my childhood. Does anyone else feel this way? And what have you done to manage it? Once again I really don't want to see a doctor as it will upset my girlfriend who sees me as a strong person, I don't want that to change and I don't want her to worryThank you for taking the time to read this

Sister_Havana I'm new and sick of suffering.
  • replies: 7

I suffered horrendous trauma as a child due to having parents with untreated mental illness..so either genetics or brain development has left me with major depression .i must admit that taking medication has taken the edge from my deep and painful ag... View more

I suffered horrendous trauma as a child due to having parents with untreated mental illness..so either genetics or brain development has left me with major depression .i must admit that taking medication has taken the edge from my deep and painful agitation but I still feel worthless and irrelevant and at 51 years I am tired of this battle.i have worked many years as a mental health nurse in an attempt to understand the mind, and how to manage mental illness. After my partner was gaoled for causing death when falling asleep at the wheel, and my next housemate died from a mixture of prescription drugs(& I inevitably found his body & attempted to resuscitate him to no avail)- I feel unable to heal. I have been praised for my resilience but how resilient can one be.?i keep going for my daughters but have no self worth. The world is full of money hungry people with no concern for those with mental disability. These money hungry people have the power and I am sick of being harrassed by a major bank when I am unable to work. They charge me fees for having no money and effectively discriminate against me for having an illness. And what can I do about it? Nothing! They force me back to work before I am well and the cycle continues. They are the winners with their billions of dollars of profit they make.. I ask what is the point? beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:8.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:107%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

Elizabeth CP Struggling with summer- Fire alerts and risk of sunburn.
  • replies: 7

I am finding summer difficult. I started exposure therapy for PTSD related to bushfires I was trapped in a bushfire which destroyed our house as a 10 year old, In those day I am supposed to read articles about bushfires each day as part of the exposu... View more

I am finding summer difficult. I started exposure therapy for PTSD related to bushfires I was trapped in a bushfire which destroyed our house as a 10 year old, In those day I am supposed to read articles about bushfires each day as part of the exposure therapy which has brought everything to the surface combine as that with Christmas so I don't see my therapist for several weeks to debrief and we have hot weather with Total fire ban days and frequent reports on the radio re fires. As a child I was badly sunburnt several times. I was home from school with severe sunburn on the day of the fires so I am hypervigilent re sunburn risk ie won't go out in the sun without long sleeves & trousers or skirt Sunscreen isn't enough. Hence I cant relax at the beach or pool when it is hot. I used to enjoy swimming (in the shade or late in the day when the sun is going down but my husband is now blind so I have to watch him in the water constantly and give him directions which way to go. I used to work through summer but stopped work several months ago as it was too stressful as I was really stressed, a colleague didn't like me and often complained about me to my face and my husband kept getting sick so I was exhausted looking after him. He had surgery in July which was supossed to reduce the risk of him choking/aspirating but it failed and the tube was reiserted 5 times before we gave up and never wnt back to the hospital after the last time. Sorry I am rambling but I am finding it hard to cope

Anroca78 Trauma causing fake trauma causing trauma huh?
  • replies: 0

Hi, can anyone share with me any experience about flash memories. Images that feel real but not sure it is real. I have had disturbing images since I was 9, they come and go throughout the years and a few others that are different as far as faces go ... View more

Hi, can anyone share with me any experience about flash memories. Images that feel real but not sure it is real. I have had disturbing images since I was 9, they come and go throughout the years and a few others that are different as far as faces go but still are disturbing are popping up. Stress triggers it a recent breakdown proved that, but this is becoming stressful too. It affects a family member and myself so that's why it's upsetting. I am bipolar 2. When asked during assessment, did I have delusional thoughts I said no. I already told my boss I had bipolar 2, as a pharmacist she was well aware of bipolar 1 and its symptoms and delusional thoughts or hearing voices I felt,would lose a bit of support from her, I would become more unpredictable and unstable. That's why I no longer work. But I haven't known anyone with bipolar 1. I am booked in to see psych and are scared I will be placed on more medication. Please share if you have this condition, thanks

senseiawesome My wife is a sexual abuse survivor who I thought had moved on but has severely regressed after her abuser died recently (her grandfather) Please help?
  • replies: 6

Hi All, My wife was sexually abused by her grandfather for many years as a pre-teen to mid teens. She prosecuted him at the age of 21 and he was jailed for 18 months. We've been together now for 23 years and after much therapy/counselling I thought s... View more

Hi All, My wife was sexually abused by her grandfather for many years as a pre-teen to mid teens. She prosecuted him at the age of 21 and he was jailed for 18 months. We've been together now for 23 years and after much therapy/counselling I thought she had moved on to a happier place in life. To cut a long story short, she maintained a basic relationship with him over the last 23 years ( visiting him e.t.c ) which I strongly disapproved of inwardly but showed her support on a basic level ( I refused to see or talk to him at all). Our marital/love life has always been very simple & plain once she met me ( before that she had many partners in a very short time ) After her abuser (Grandfather) passed away a few months ago, she has completely regressed and is having nightmares and avoids any intimacy with me whatsoever. I understand this is normal for some survivors but after a few months now , any physical intimacy ( even hugs) are avoided like the plague... Its like she has it in her head that she was still in a relationship with him and is grieving him like a wife who has lost her husband?? I'm completely isolated (because of my position in the community-I'm well known to everyone without giving anything away) There is no one I can talk to about this..... I'm feeling helpless to help her plus I'm struggling badly without any form of human intimacy. I've encouraged her to seek counselling/help again but she is refusing. She says she loves me but won't give me even a hug/cuddle anything.... Any advice on where to go from here? I'm having huge difficulties sleeping and struggling with many depressive thoughts. Everyone in my local community knows me and its a gossipy area. So I'm asking for feedback/ideas/suggestions on what to do?? Regards,

Kbet Too much to bare
  • replies: 14

I lost my father to cancer before I turned 5 years old and I still remember seeing his face in hospital in those last precious moments. I went through many traumatic moments as an adolescent (abuse) and when I was 16 years old I witnessed a murder. L... View more

I lost my father to cancer before I turned 5 years old and I still remember seeing his face in hospital in those last precious moments. I went through many traumatic moments as an adolescent (abuse) and when I was 16 years old I witnessed a murder. Life just got worse from there miscarriages, rape and domestic violence. A never-ending spiral of hatred, self loathing and a feeling of being tortured. I have tried to stay strong but my grip is slipping. I can no longer see anything in front of me. Nothing worth holding onto. More and more things keep piling up on my shoulders. A brother with cancer, an elderly mother and a dysfunctional family. I have no support system because I am the support system. I have put all my memories into boxes in my mind just so I can wake up each day and go to work. I don't even know how I manage that because I find myself making myself sick with worry just so I don't have to leave my house. So I don't have to pretend to be alright. I barely sleep and I find it hard to communicate with people. How can I function now?

Jay95 my story of a traumatic childhood to where i am now
  • replies: 11

i spent the first 15 years of my life being neglected and mentally + psychically abused by my drug addicted parents - not provided what i needed to attend school such as books and correct uniform, and had nothing to stay safe and warm and be loved li... View more

i spent the first 15 years of my life being neglected and mentally + psychically abused by my drug addicted parents - not provided what i needed to attend school such as books and correct uniform, and had nothing to stay safe and warm and be loved like all children should be. i did my best to provide for my other siblings, i did my best thats all you can do as an 8, 9, 10 year old with no money or support from anybody. my parents only paid attention to us when they wanted something to hit and hurt. unfortunately my dad was worst for it and it happened every single night until i was 15. and it was much much more than just hitting, but i dont think i can go into detail here. i have scars and marks from these nights. this was usually when he was very drunk. i spent every single moment of my childhood terrified, lonely, feeling useless and feeling unloved. he manipulated and controlled me and my siblings. when i was 15 i spoke up about my home life, this was to a teacher at school after i showed up to school with a broken laptop that i had borrowed- it was used in the night befores proceedings....it took a lot for me to open up but it was the best thing i ever did. a while after that my brothers and sisters and i were put in foster care while mum and dad tried to sort out their issues, but that never happened they couldnt sort out their addictions and other problems out enough that it was safe for us. im 20 now and my younger siblings are still in care. my dad died last year and my mum is still using ice, cocaine, and some other drugs. i have been able to achieve something with my life and i am determined to be something and do something with my time in the world. i was constantly told i would end up being nothing in life, but look at me now - got a house of my own, got friends, a full time apprenticeship, play footy both for local and in a squad and I'm working on my mental health issues! I recently got a C-PTSD diagnosis and i'm working through it with headspace. from a difficult start and a life full of trauma, I'm leading a fulfilling life, its been a long time coming but I'm proud of my ability to fight!

Elizabeth CP New Has anyone had treatment for PTSD for trauma experienced decades ago
  • replies: 8

Hi I have experienced depression & anxiety for years and sought medical help more recently as it escalated. I recently gave up work as it became too difficult to cope while caring for my husband whose medical condition has deteriorated recently. My p... View more

Hi I have experienced depression & anxiety for years and sought medical help more recently as it escalated. I recently gave up work as it became too difficult to cope while caring for my husband whose medical condition has deteriorated recently. My psych recommended treatment for PTSD but I am now feeling more stressed & anxious as it is stirring up really bad memories and feelings. It also means there isn't time to focus on other things which are causing stress and increasing depression. I feel like there are are so many negative thoughts and feelings in my mind I am overwhelmed. The initial trauma occurred when I was 10 but there has been other experiences as an adult which had the potential to cause the same problem. (I usually go somewhere I feel safer and only return home when the I feel it is safe.)

Hoonlady living next door to attacker
  • replies: 5

In June this year, I was attacked by a neighbour while she was having a psychotic manic attack. It took months before I could go out of the house without panic, but I was recovering. Now my neighbour is back home and any progress I made is long gone.... View more

In June this year, I was attacked by a neighbour while she was having a psychotic manic attack. It took months before I could go out of the house without panic, but I was recovering. Now my neighbour is back home and any progress I made is long gone. Although the house is on the market, in our neck of the woods it takes around two years to sell and nobody local will buy or recommend the house next door to the local lunatic. The stress is more than I can bear. Anybody have any suggestions, as every time I see her I'm right back trying to duck that hammer. PS I still have to go through the ordeal of going to court. That alone fills me with dread and I'm pretty sure the verdict will be not guilty by reason of insanity (the correct term escapes me at present) and she'll still be next door with her bedroom within 10 metres of mine.

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