When buttons get pushed

[Speak Your Truth]

Can anyone help ? My buttons have been pushed to the point of bringing on severe anxiety. Does anyone think this is curable ? I am desperate to feel relaxed and at peace again and to be able to enjoy my life. I don’t know how to cope

[Hanna3]

Hi Cala,

First - lots of people are frightened of big dogs. You don't know if this person has had a bad experience with a big dog or been frightened by one as a child or whatever. I am scared of big dogs off leash as I've had them attack my small dog. So I wouldn't be offended, I think it was quite OK for that person to feel safer with your dog in another room - I know you know and love your dog, but that other person doesn't know your dog and might simply find dogs frightening. Some people are scared of my little fluffy guy!

I Googled benign melanomas in dogs and they seem to be pretty common and harmless. I wouldn't worry too much if the vet thinks it's benign.

I can understand feeling lost without your beloved dog at home, I felt the same when Mr Sam had to stay at the vet - the house seemed very quiet without him! Possum is being well looked after and hopefully you will have your doggie back home tomorrow. Did the vet say when approximately you might be able to collect Possum?

Try to distract yourself by watching something nice on TV or whatever you like to do. Tomorrow will come soon and hopefully all will be well with your beloved doggie and you will have him/her back home again!

Take care, sending warmest wishes xoxo

[Hanna3]

How did Possum go with the vet Cala? I hope everything is OK. xoxo

[CMF]

The girl i work with pushes my buttons. Always doing personal things, personal calls, selfish, gossips. Anyway i finally snapped. She found out about my feelings so i spoke to her, tried to see it from my side and apologised for upsetting her, told her i would like to talk about it. I also had a chat to my boss, not to get her in trouble but because i was upset and felt bad about what had happened. In fact, my boss saw i was upset and approached me to ask if i was ok. That was 6 weeks ago. We sit right next to each other at reception and only 3 or 4 of us in the office at the moment. She is being passive aggressive. Has not looked at me since it happened, ignores me, excludes or tried to push me out of conversations, just talks over me to cut me out . She is now extra friendly with staff that come in to get things and clients. She is putting on a big act and even gets in super early. I'm usually 20 mins early and she is there. She is making a big deal about acknowledging emails which i always do but she never did. it is like she is trying to be me. I told her i will not be playing her passive aggressive game and told her happy to talk about it. Said good morning to her Monday and only spoke on work related matters. She was ok at times and extremely rude other times.She is trying to dominate me and is treating me like I don't exist and making a big point about everything she does after years or taking advantage of everyone. People before me also complained about her. I work with her 1 day a week but it gives me anxiety now, the way she is treating me. i don't want to be 'friends' and chat like we used to but i don;t expect to be treated like a nothing. i don;t know if she was spoken to by management but a thinking she was. i don't even know exactly what she is so upset about. She clearly knows her behaviour was wrong and now she has been called out. everyone knows about her behaviour, others have told me to speak up and now i am taking the fall for it. I'm sure i am the only one to actually talk to her about it.She knows she has been doing the wrong thing but will not acknowledge. I thought after after a few weeks she may say something so i am disappointed she cant even acknowledge it. She continues to push my button with her behaviour but i just ignore her. i will not play her game.

What do i do?

[Speak Your Truth]

Hello CMF and I’m really sorry to read you have this problems with your buttons being pushed. It took me a while to remember what was happening in my life at the time I started this thread, but now that I have I can tell you it was a social situation with a couple of ‘friends’, one in particular. The situation in my case was never going to be solved, so I cut off the friendships completely, and I’ve never regretted cutting that toxic person out of my life.

So my social situation was very different to your work life situation. All I can suggest is that you talk with either your boss again, or if the business you work for if it has a ‘Human Resources’ or ‘Personnel’ section - perhaps you could move to a different area in the business. Another option may be to consider changing jobs to another business altogether, obviously not an easy option at any time, let alone during this time with Covid.

CMF I’m not in a good place myself now because of Covid, and I really can’t offer you more than this anyway I’m sorry. I hope you can work it out.

My best wishes coming to you, Cala

[Speak Your Truth]

Hanna thanks for your support. My Possum’s nose lump was nothing to be worried about and he is home again and all is well. I had a smile reading your post because you sounded so calm and logical talking about my dog, when you had been SO worried and upset about your Sam.

Can I point out though that I did say ...

.... I overreacted .... and .... I did take it personally, which is kind of silly .... and .... it was company policy and wasn’t personal to the person concerned, me or Possum, just company policy..... and ..... It may not be bad news at all and I’m worrying for nothing though.

Also Possum is a staffy/mixed breed and he is a short and stubby dog, not at all big.

Anyway, that drama is over now, except that it has dragged me down even lower emotionally and it is very hard to deal with. I’m really, really fed up with talking (typing) about the difficulties Covid has caused and the strain of coping, feeling so alone (in my town) and trying to pull myself up every day.

I hope I don’t sound ungrateful Hanna, I don’t mean to be because I do know there are things to be grateful for

every day I hang on to hope that ‘tomorrow’ will be better.

bye for now, and thanks again, Cala

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Cala....hugs beautiful lady🤗..

Cala.. I’m sorry sweetheart that your brain is all mushy and your not doing the best mentally..

Its hard Cala with these restrictions in place atm...honestly Cala, you are not alone...I won’t let you be..I’m sitting here next to you holding your hand tightly and my furs are playing with Possum...

I am okay with the social distancing when I go out..I never like people close to me anyway....Talking about visitors..I had 2 turn up on my door this morning from mh..They wouldn’t come inside..They were not allowed..I had to talk to them standing on my veranda..and because they woke me up was still in my pyjamas and freezing cold...I wasn’t going to answer the knock until they called out my name..They were sent by my Dr. and MH supporter as I haven’t been able to talk without tears..so I turned my phone to silent and didn’t look at it for a few days...

Sweetheart..Please don’t be ever sorry about writing your feelings down here...You have a friend in me..I care a lot about you Cala.....Umm sometimes..now this is going to sound stupid and silly...I get a great fear coming over me when I post sometimes..

I love the sound of Possum...He sounds really cute..my 2 are Maltese x Yorkshire...small and fluffy...and bark at anyone who walks, rides passed my front yard..even cars they bark at...

Cala...Sweetheart..Please try hard not to think about tomorrow or the future after covid...You are living today...right this minute..enjoy the day..let go of the future/tomorrow it doesn’t exist now..it’s not born yet..but today is..So lovely friend..enjoy today as much as you can...

Sitting right here next to you dear Cala..holding your hand..

Sending my Love, care, hugs to you..💜🌹🦋🤗..

Grandy...

[Ggrand]

Hello Lovely Cala 🌹...

Keep hanging onto that hope dear Cala..it grows the more we hold on to it....One tomorrow will be better then all the yesterday put together...Believe and have faith in you..that it will happen...

Cala, it’s okay if you need to talk, need to get your fears out, about covid..I’m listening..Not sure if I am or will be much help..because my mind says one thing while I’m trying to think of something else..and it’s hard to write out my words when that happens..but with you I am sweety...in heart and soul, spirit..I’m sitting next to you..holding your hand and taking tiny baby steps forward with you...

Did you and Possum..Gee I love that name for a dog...go out for a walk today...It’s been cold here today..I went shopping a bit....

Here for you Cala..if you need/want to talk..

Sending some caring hugs..love and kind thoughts..🤗💜🦋..

Grandy..

[Birdy77]

Dear Cala,

I just wanted to say how much i felt for you week or so ago when the person came and said they wouldn't come in unless Possum was in the other room.

I haven't had that exact thing happen, but the other day the Postie told me he can't reach over and put big letters/small parcels in my letterbox if i have my boys out in the front yard because they bark and bounce up and down. They are not aggressive, they just think they need to assert their authority in their noisy fashion (occasionally wearing their "security" thermal tshirts, which they loathe, but seem to forget about when there's something to bark at) ... anyway, what the heck was i saying? Just that, i felt slightly put out by the Postie, but because i have a gazillion other things on my mind, i guess ut didn't bother me too much, but ... i totally understand what you were saying!!!

I hope eventually you were able to let that go, as you did know it wasn't their actual fault, just company policy - but i really do get where your yucky feelings were coming from, you are not alone!

I haven't been by to see you for a bit as i have had a wretched few weeks and haven't been on the forums. But always now i look out for you and your thread here whenever i am around.

How is Ratatouille? 🐭

Like Grandy, i feel like my words are all over the shop, (Grandy yours arent, your words are always so lovely), but i wanted to pop in and say hello and say i was thinking of you. I've seen you reaching out on some other threads - i really want you to know you are cared for here and valued. Keeo reaching out Cala, there are many who are here for you - try various different threads if you feel lonely.

I think I'm due to watch What we Did on our Holiday, it's so lovely, it just whisks you away from reality doesnt it?

Hope you are ok.

Thinking of you,

🌻birdy

[Speak Your Truth]

Hello Birdy
I’m sorry I have replied to your post for so long, I feel bad about that, but please know I haven’t forgotten you 😍

I’m very curious - what are your dogs "security" thermal tshirts ?

You never say very much about what goes on and the difficulties you have in your life - except for the dogs and the chooks 😅. Your absolute right to say as little as you want of course, I just would like to be able to give back to you as much as you give to me. When other people need support it helps take the focus away from self. You said you have had a wretched few weeks - so sorry to know that - and I have wondered what has been happening.

I’m getting more and more bogged down in the problems with isolation and loneliness. I’m having less contact with friends than before, they know I’m struggling and I don’t know if they aren’t contacting me because they are miserable to, or because I’m making them more miserable, and with nothing new to say I’m reluctant to contact them. So it’s a real catch-22

The weather here is very chilly now and today has been rainy off and on, so that’s my excuse for today for not getting outside today, and nowhere to go that’s warm but not enclosed. But too many days I’m just not motivated to get going and I end up sitting about achieving virtually nothing. I need to shop for food again,but I’ll probably be down to nothing before I go out for it. I’m in NSW so you will also be aware that restrictions have lifted a bit but I’m still very wary of going anywhere much. I’m worried that more isolation makes for a much harder adjustment getting back out socially.

Oh Birdy I’m SO sick of myself, fed up with all this, fed up with what only feels like whinging. I do know and understand how fortunate we are in Australia, how fortunate I am to not be sick, etc. but the isolation and loneliness is still a very real and big problem for many people. I posted on Grandy’s thread also this afternoon, so a little bit more news there, nothing much,

bye for now Birdy, hugs 🤗 to you

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Cala (& a wave to all),

I felt your loneliness, sadness & frustration in your writing. Now is a very difficult time for many...I think many of our normal routines/old ways of life/old ways of interacting & connecting/etc have all undergone a major upheaval.

I feel it’s not easy for almost everyone in one way or another...

I don’t know too much about the dynamics or specifics of your friendships, so I don’t know if what I’m about to say will be helpful or not. I apologise if it’s unhelpful...

But my gentle suggestion is maybe, & I realise it’s not easy of course, take a risk with your offline friends and reach out first if they’re not contacting you?

I mean, what do you have to lose? I suppose the worse case scenario is they might say no to a chat or if you end up talking, maybe the conversation doesn’t quite go as well as you would like. But there’s also the flip side of the best case scenario where maybe you can all support each other during this difficult time, or even deepen your friendship.

Also, if conversation is faltering, perhaps you could try to focus your connections with more of an activities focus? Depending on your state laws, you could try something like games, movie nights, art nights, etc - either virtually or face-to-face, will depend on your state’s requirements & restrictions at the moment.

I suppose what I’m trying to say is sometimes we don’t know till we take a risk & reach out to someone...sometimes it works out & sometimes it doesn’t, but we don’t know till we take a chance....just sharing stray thoughts of mine.

I’m not sure if that’s useful or helpful or relevant to your situation, but I just wanted to share as I’ve seen how much you’re struggling with isolation and loneliness.

Thinking of you...

Kindness & care,

Pepper