Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[demonblaster]

Hiya gorgeous bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 and any readers 👋

You're such a sweety Grandy 🤗

You're right huns I should wear the instep thingys my foots complaining a lot blow it.

Yes we spoke through the wk and today on phone but atm I'm very good so all good darlin thank you very much for your beautiful love and care.

Same for me Grandy wiwip but also you to be happy. We do make eachother happy and look out for eachother we could do more.

Haha hear you me too tissue paper 😅

☺ you're such a treasure that's quite ok sweetyheart go for it with the Pineapple honey it's lovely isnt it.

Yes we are looking after eachother he's such a treasure Grandz we are pretty much inseparable and so content and happy.

Love you so much Floss I truly hope you're feeling better and each day. Like you I so want you to know happiness you're an amazing person. Thank you for your beautiful friendship honey heart 💜💗👩‍❤️‍👩🐕🐶🚜👀🐨🤗😚

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

Sorry about you foot honey..I was thinking you’re be doing more walking around, going from one home to the other and even in the house with Mr.Deebi...More then before..Try hard sweety to keep exercising your foot....poor my bbff...

Im please to hear that your keeping in touch with mh guy...Better still...music to my ears...and so heartwarming is your feeling good right now....You go Deebi. 💪..Keep beasty away from you and Mr. Deebi...Keep Those beasty beanies on.😂...You will definitely beat it..I know you can...

Oh I made some sweet costumes for E&D all fluffy and yellow. Like little baby 🐥....Awe so cute.....for K&E...I made some fluffy brown material...they look like monkeys 🐒.So cute....

Love fresh pineapple 🍍...I had enough for our cake 🍰 I’m not much of a real cook...I’m really good at fantasy cooking though..the minds the limit...and it’s calorie free 😁...We can have as much as we want to....

I will be at yours tomorrow..and maybe if it fits on my 🚜..I’ll bring a bbq...Mr. Deebi can cook for us..and we can sit and chat watching the sunset...and a nice Tia Maria and Kahlua....Then maybe we could go treasure hunting.🙃..Not sure what Mr.Deebi likes.. 🍺..

Good night honey...I hope you sleep and dream good lovely friend...Thank you for you beautiful friendship Deebi...Love you so much...dear bbff sissyter....🐻🤗...

Enjoy your night honey....Tomorrow is a new day...new plans..new things to try....

Kind thoughts..with love and hugs..💖🤗..everyone..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...yadimh..always...wiwawyip...

[demonblaster]

Dear Grandy 🤗👩‍❤️‍👩 hi everyone 👋

Always so beautiful seeing you dear friend thank you for always beautiful posts with your love and care 😚

Yes its giving me some grief this stinkin foot and I have been walking a little more going between houses. Good thinking huns.

I'm so relieved I hadnt mucked mhw around hes so good and I'll always need him as he knows.

Haha got the beasty beanies on they're putting IT x straight. So content and at full ease with this sweetheart hes a real honey Grandz we love eachother already.

Pineapples so yum don't blame you and yes the fattening but no calories such a treat isnt it 😅

Oh yeah that sounds awesome if you can bring the bbq we'll have a ball, you'll see what a precious treasure he is the darling. Always will love my darling and he's completely understanding about that which is warming.

Mr Deebi doesnt drink thanks gorgeous love maybe once in a Blue moon but I'm looking forward to ours yummo.

Ahhh the costumes for our furs sound so pretty. They'll love them. I've made their little beds on our ones they'll probs all sleep with you.

Oh Grandy if you knew how much I love you too sweetyheart soul sissyter you're such a beautiful bright light to many.

Let's 🤝 sit out over there and watch our stars honeyheart and chat away beautiful friend. Thank you for your amazing friendship you really do mean so much to me beautiful 🐻🤗😚👩‍❤️‍👩💜👀🤝💗💃🗯⚘🌱

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...and everyone..🤗..

I thought so about your foot...Please my bbff..look after your foot and be careful with your back/shoulder etc...It would be easy for you to not remember atm..so I’ll just send you a gentle reminder..that you need to honeyheart so much....

After hours of struggling 🥵 to get my bbq into my 🚜..I finally done it...I’ll have to make a new bbq that fits in my 💼..I hope Mr Deebi doesn’t mind cooking..while we sit and relax on the sand and watch the sparkling stars reflecting onto the water....Then after we eat we can all go beach exploring together....with a torch 🔦 each...

Theres so much to see and hear of a night time along the beach....The gentle lapping of the water..The lonesome cries of the whales 🐳 as they talk to each other..The sounds of the sea gulls as the odd one or two are flying around...The beautiful shells 🐚 that sea creatures have abandoned..and with each step if you shine the torch on the sand..you can see the tiny crabs ducking into their little homes in the sand...Oh and what about the sea weed, when you shine the torch 🔦 on it...looks peaceful gently floating around in the water, looking like dark green creatures doing a beautiful ballet dance...Beautiful...isn’t it Deebi..if we take time to look..

The drift wood.. they must have some great stories to tell..about there adventures of possibly floating all the way from the other side of the 🌎...

Hmm I think more playing then sleeping tonight with our furs...Maybe I’ll wake early and take them for a morning walk and swim...I think they will enjoy that...

Its good Mr.Deebi doesn’t drink...I bought him a yummy Coffee Frappee...I hope he enjoys it..He is nice isn’t he..I’m happy for you both...💜...

I liked taking a virtual look at the beach tonight honey...especially with my loving soul sissy....love you as well my bbff....💖🤗🐻..

Sleep well sweety...dream peacefully..and tomorrow I hope you wake up with so much shining out of you and Your day tomorrow is good...(and every day)..

Love, Kind thoughts and hugs everyone..💜🤗.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..💖🐚🦀🐠🐋🐆🦈🐬🐡🦐🦑🐙..

[demonblaster]

Hi sweet Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 friends and any readers ☺

Beautiful friend its really a big pain this flippin foot its been well over a year now. Arghh!

Grandz 😅 I just knew you'd find a way to bring the bbq well done you little champ.
Thats so nice and Mr Deebi said thank you very much for the Coffee Frappe geez you're sweet lovey. Yes he's a real honey hey did I tell you he calls me that. Told him you do too and I love it 😚

What a gorgeous night watching the stars and chatting while sweety Mr Deebi cooks up a treat for us all.
Lovely walk we had you're very good at those ya know. Glad the seaweed was away from us phew and the little creatures that vacated their homes. Water lapping Grandz it was beautiful with the stars reflecting on the water whales talking seagulls you're a clever soul 🐻🤗

The driftwood may very well have travelled parts of the world. So much character it has and see theres a seat for the 3 of us.

Thanks for being happy beautiful Grandy love for us he's so easy going and lovely. As I've said one thing would complete my life awyip sweetyheart 😢 hurts a lot.

Recently I got 2 pkts of smokes lasted them out over 2 days each pkt of 20 actually 3 for the 2nd pkt had 4 left but ok not taking or taken it up again phew.

Can't stand I've put so much weight on and Mr Deebi loves choccy too. I will be getting it off.

Always love and cherish our time darlin lady and that gorgeous walk felt it huns.
I really hope you're ok Grandy. PubAok lysvm yadimh honeyheart. Sending you so much love warmth and wishes of happiness lovey.

Thank you dear Grandy 🐻🤗😚🤝👀🦄💃👩‍❤️‍👩💜🗯 always love you sweetylove 💗🚜

Take care amazing people 🤗😊

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..and all🤗..

It was nice wasn’t it..just sitting on the sand mindfully....

Im really sorry about you foot...A quartazone (can’t spell it)..can help you bbff...Betty had many years ago and she said it helped her..but she has a spur..I think similar for both..I was going to but...My gp at the time asked me to have but I was scared to have one...Is that something you would consider honey?..

I have also put heaps of weight on because of extra heart meds...not at all happy...It’s okay about the smokes lovely friend...I still have occasional 1 or 2 ...um maybe 3 or 4 😁.maybe later I’ll try harder...

What you been up to today honey?..I hope your day was good..and some happies...

It would be nice having someone call you honey in real life...I can tell he is a wonderful man...

Im thinking of a beautiful 🎁 for you both..I need to make them first though..so here you both go a patience hat 🧢 👒each.

I hope so very much that your feeling okay Deebi..and your light is getting brighter...you deserve it so much..

Take good care of you...alway...wiwawyip..yadimh..sss...your important to me....very..☺️.🤗..Love you dearest bbff..your in my 💭 and heart daily...

Kind thoughts...with love and hugs.💜🤗🤗..everyone..

Good night..sleep well..dream of peace..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🌜👀🤝🐻🤗🌛....🕊🌱..

[demonblaster]

Hey my bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 and any readers 👋

Beautiful friend always so comforting and good to see you thank you sweetyheart.

We haven't really been doing much we both sleep a lot I'm over the exhaustion.

Me too Grandy the weights a downer Mr beautiful Deebi loves choccy too uh oh.

Yes I'd have a go with a cortisone needle they're painful my love had it done a couple of times. I'll see my doc when he returns sometime.

We're off to Mr Deebis soon we're back and forth.

Good on you if you're only having one or two smokes I had one today from a friend that visited.

Cool looking forward 🎁 😆 love our prezzies 😍 and our Pink hats are gorgeous thank you beautiful.

You matter so much to me and many dearest friend please ubAok always lovely lady.
Love you very much my sweetyheart and appreciate you so much huns.

See you later beautiful 😚

👩‍❤️‍👩💜👀🤝🎁🗯🐻🤗🚜🛴😢🌱

[Ggrand]

Dearest Beautiful Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..and everyone..👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

putt..putt..putt...Ahhh made it at last...Poof poor 🚜..is all choked up with dust..I’ll have to clean it before I leave yours...Half a sec honey..I’ll just take this off..😷..then a big deep breath...and another..😁...much cleaner air here... I love the smell of salty air....

Now I’m here..I’m going to ask you Howz you feeling?..

I hope your okay honey...

Deebi....Please don’t put off seeing your Dr. to sometime...honey if it’s getting worse it’s good if you can see him again..maybe he has some new ideas...to help you with the pain flare up....

Ahhhhh...so Mr.Deebi loves his chocolate as well as we do...He knows what’s good and healthy for him.... 🍫 & 🍫 = yumminess...😂..

Im pleased your over your exhaustion...It’s okay if you sleep a lot..I’ve been doing the same...Sleeping helps us....

Oh...I have to make two 🎁...umm probably take a while..needs to be something awesome and special for my special bbff...and her mister......

You matter to me Deebi... 💭 are a constant daily....I often ask myself..what would Deebi say/do..when I get stuck..You help me a lot...each day..💜...

Wishing you a good sleep and on waking you have a soul full of light...Love you dearest Deebi...💖🤗..pubaok....always...sss...yadimh..wiwawyip always...

Sending everyone love and hugs..💖🤗...

Always.. 👀 you and holding tight...

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy.....one day beautiful friend..🕊🌱..and all..

[demonblaster]

Hiya my gorgeous 👩‍❤️‍👩 so good to see you.
Hi any readers and lovely friends 🤗

😅so cute you put put-ing along 🚜 so glad you made it safely with y/our beautiful fur family now united yay and breathable air. That dust really sounds yuk Grandy darlin must be such a nuisance. Doolsy has that yuk too.


Feeling good thankyee sweetyheart 😊 I hope you are too. Can't believe the sleeping tho still I felt some comfort you too. Its lovely with Mister Deebi but wow must start excercise think we'll soon be going with other bbff friend while her friends away for a bit. Walking in water yum.

Yip I'll enquire about the needle for foot so over it.


😆 loven that you're makin us both a prezzy hes such a love Grandz really sweet. Looking forward to your new creation.

One day sweetyheart eh we have to hold onto hope otherwise 😢


You matter so much to me too honey ditto 🗯 constant daily. Love you so much you're such a beautiful bright light in my and I'm sure many more lives.
Really care about you beautuful lady.

Oh good news for the first time day 3 now In About 3 Mths think no dressing on toosh woohoo. Healed but still being careful. Was Staph infections.

Beautiful lady I really do hope you're feeling brighter. Sounds like you've handled beasty very well which is absolutely fantastic.

Hold in honey we'll triumph as we are and with our learning we're gaining strength.

Hope everyones holding up well and having light in tneir lives. You deserve good people 🤗

Grandy love 🐨🤗👀🤝👩‍❤️‍👩💜😚🗯⚘🌱💗

[Ggrand]

Good night beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..and everyone..

Hiya honey..just popping in to say good night..sleep tight..dream bright..and in the morning you’ll see your light...💫💥☄️🔥☀️...

Love it that you’re feeling good...and your happy....

Im sorry about your 🦶 foot...oh look a foot.🦶Oh I like them..there cute🦶..I wish it would be not ouchy anymore for you..

Ill be back tomorrow honey...just wanted to wish you both a beautiful restful sleep tonight....with peaceful dreams...

I’m off to sleep now..well I hope I am....need to get up early for volunteer job.....

Love you as well beautiful bbff....You’re in my 💭...and my heart 💓..love you biggly...🌜🐻🌛....

Kind thoughts....With love and hugs...everyone..💜🤗..

Night all... 💤.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy....🕊🌱..