Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[demonblaster]

Hi there gorgeous people 🙂

Grandy my love (( hugs )) sweets I replied last night, not here yet, just don't want you thinking I haven't.

The lovely nurse said in about a week my botty should be healed YAY, I rang and said it's all going well and if she needs to see me to let me know the surgeon cause it's a big day going to that place and back for a half minute consult so don't have to go again tomoz YAY.

Can't seem to catch enough sleep but soon hopefully I'll be better, not as bad now not feeling exhaustion so that's good.

I had the odd time I felt I was being a bit short with Mr beautiful and apologised straight away but he didn't think I was which is good and managed to pull out through the day. Was an awful long time being exhausted and trying to catch up.

Very happy it's very easy with Mr Deebi he's a real sweetheart.

Hope everyones going well or at least starting to see some light.

Btw Peppy yes expansive heart 🙂 (( hugs ))

Please take care of yourselves, you all matter very much.

Grandy love you so so much dear friend. Always thoughts honey. PubAok, Bpaly. (( xx ))

[Doolhof]

Hi Deebi and All,

Hope you are doing okay and all heals up well. Congratulations on your new relationship, wishing you both well.

Just wanted to drop by to say hi and to thank you for your messages on my thread. It has certainly been quite a roller coaster ride lately, I am hoping life is a little easier for a while.

Sunday I was invited to join some other ladies to visit an open garden. It was so beautiful. I appreciated all the work the people have put into their garden and was thankful they opened it up for the public to see.

I walked around our garden this morning and appreciated all that we have here. It might be a dust bowl, but there are still some lovely bits as well!

Wishing you all the best Deebi.

Cheers from Dools

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩.. Mrs Dools and everyone..🤗

Thank you Deebi..I’ll keep an eye 👁 or 👀 two out for it..

Im very pleased that your just about all healed up..I so much hope that no more find you....You’ve had a run run with them...

Probably all the excitement and running around causing you longer exhaustion...Once you settle into a routine should be better for you honey....Enjoy your time with Mr Deebi....

Its hard I think to start relationship, getting to know the person and they way they live..likes and dislikes...He seems easy going and very caring...Sometimes we might think you might think your short with him...and feel not so good for a bit..you apologiseing immediately after shows how much care love/like you have for him....and he would see that.. honeyheart this is a huge learning curve for the both of you...It will take a while to know each other and his thinking pattern....Please don’t be hard on you...your a beautiful lady, with a golden heart...and would never be short or hurt anyone intentionally....I’m certain Mr.Deebi..knows that..We all do just by talking online to you...💖🕊🌱..

Hello Mrs Dools....your open garden walk sound lovely...There is nothing out my way now except dirt and weeds...it’s really very sad to see...

Im doing okay thank you bbff...I hope apart from your tiredness your mh is good...Look after you honey...you matter as well....

Love you Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...also so much in my 💭 with care and love....Please sss...be okay ..always...yadimh...

Kind thoughts..with love and hugs..💖🤗.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy....💓🔥🐉....🕊🌱..

[Paw Prints]

Hello DB,

So glad your derriere is almost all good now. Hopefully now as your bod doesn't have to use so much of your energy healing itself, it can use it to fight your tiredness & you will feel brighter soon.

I really enjoyed partying along with your mil's party, loved arriving in Grandy's very sparkling Vrroommm....felt so very swish. I hope you remembered that only one of the boxes of Kahlua choccies was for you....the other was for your mil & you didn't need to taste test them for her. Really hope she had a lovely day.

You sound so happy with your Mr DB, but please lass don't forget to care for you & your mh.

Hugs

Paws

[Peppermintbach]

Hi wonderful DB (and a wave to all)

I’m very happy to hear about your nurse’s good news for you! What a relief...

Also, I think it’s beautiful and special that things are going well with Mr DB. Enjoy getting to know one another 🙂

Supersoul hugs and much love,

Peppystar xoxo

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..and all the other beautiful people visiting you...

What you up to today bbff...

I think usually mh guy comes and takes you shopping on Tuesdays....oh..I’m might be wrong...🛍..ooh nice coloured shopping bags 🛍...or did you and Mr Deebi go together....

Meant to ask you before..does you new love have a car..or is it public transport back n forth?...only if you want to say..

I won’t talk to much honey..I really wanted to know how your physically feeling and your mh..and gently remind you like your other beautiful friends have done..to please look after you..you matter a tremendous lot to all of us...

I also hope you both had a great time..and mil as well...and you left some Kahlua chocolates for your bbff...A long time again..on a radio station at Valentine’s Day..they asked people to ring in and tell them what Love means to them....One person said..Love is giving your partner..your last piece of chocolate..😂.

Deebi...honey..please be okay...always.. I’m here for you 24/7..dearest bbff...as the others are also....

I wish you a deep relaxing sleep..with peaceful dreams..and to wake up with the brightest light shine through your beautiful heart...

Rest up dear friend...I’ll getting my furs and me all spruced up for our Friday night evening beach bbq picnic...where I can meet your Mr.Deebi...

I’m adding a few floor into my 💼...I need to put a men’s section in...will only take me a few seconds.😂...for now honey...here’s a 🛴 for Mr. Deebi..He has to get his licence before I can hot it up to much..let me know how he goes 😁

Kind thoughts...Love and hugs everyone..💜🤗..sleep well..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...🕊🌱...

[demonblaster]

Hey beautifuls So sorry I havent replied today so very grateful for you all 🤗

Grandy you're a prize honey love that you've added some me s floors 😅 classic.

love you so much bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 always high in love and thoughts. Yes gorgeous got some Kahlua chocs for you mt darling. Oh yeah fri sat sounding awesome havent had you stay ages. Huge live eternal and love to you all. Many thanks see youse tomoz loveys 😚🤗🤝👀💜🗯👩‍❤️‍👩🐾🚜💗

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

I need to keep up with the times...The men’s floor is beginning to look good...It will be ready before Friday...

Please Deebi...it’s okay about replying to mine..I know your busy getting yourselves organised and into routine plus your still not fully recovered from BP....My days never complete unless I pop in and chat to you...I don’t ever want you to feel overwhelmed about replying to me...I know you listen always 💖...and I don’t want to be annoying...

I hope your doing okay honey..and your mh is lifting with the help of Mr. Deebi....and you have healed well...I’m sorry no more nurse coming...I know you liked her..

I bought a yummy pineapple from Woolworths on Tuesday..Im thinking an upside down pineapple cake for when I’m at yours...Oh thank you so much for keeping me some Kahlua chocolates...I hope you hid them somewhere safe until I get there..😂😂..

I’ll let you go now honey...I’m keeping a close 👀 watch on you and holding 🤝 on to you tightly..Soul feeling love to you bbff...💖🤗...and big soft 🐻 🤗..🌜👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🐅🐆🐕🐩🤵🌛..our family grew by one.☺️🤗..

Kind thoughts....With love and hugs dearest bbff and all...💜🤗.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🕊🌱..👀🤝

[demonblaster]

Hi lovely friendz bbff Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and any readers 👋

Thank you so much lovelies for your time and support very appreciated 🤗

My recent post hasnt landed maybe also got eaten by the net daghh I replied to previous posts.

Dear Doolsy lovely lady I feel awful not getting back to you and thanks for popping in darl. The last I read at yours I'm relieved hearing its sounding like you're through the worst poor love 🤗

Thanks hun a pleasure being there for you.
The garden watching sounds amazing I'm sure you would have enjoyed it.
So glad you saw some goods in yours too ☺

Thanks for the well wishes he's a treasure 😍

Grandy love 👩‍❤️‍👩💜 thanks so much for always being close by I love you so much and same as you've said hearing your voice is so reassuring.

I very much appreciate what you said no I dont like being short with people and v.true getting to know eachother. He's just such a sweety man and yes very easy going. Thick skin I'd love some 😅
I often remind myself he has reasons for slower thinking or forgetting. Nothing ever bad it just takes getting used to. He's such a pleasure to be with he's a real love you'd feel completely comfy with him I know. SO 😢 wiwip Grandy. It hurts not being. Love and care so much about you 💜 Thank you what you said. So wise.

Gorgeous Paws hey sweety I hope you're on the improve 🤗 thank you too for your lovely support.

I liked what you said about energy needed to heal. True. I'm looking up derriere

Haha Glad your partee arrival was in style 🚜 Oopsy had to be sure the chocs were in good order for mil & Grandy 😅

Thanks lovely yes looking after myself too 🤗💗

Beautiful Peppy so nice seeing you thank you darlin yes its great it'll be healed soon been ages.
Very happy with this beautiful man 😍 thanks hun.
See you soon at yours.

Grandz you're so sweet. Cancelled last two visits with mhw so tired. Mr Deebis taken me shopping yes he drives huns 😚.
You're so loving 24/7. I worry about you precious friend breaks my heart how you're feeling. Lets hold onto hope honey 🤝💗

Can't wait for you to meet Mr Deebi you'll adore him he's so gentle and easy to love.
Ahh your furs getting spruced up. I might dress Destiny and Eternity 😍 up too.

He's 😆 about the mens section as I am and his 🛴 you're gorgeous 🤗

Upside down Pineapple cake yum.
Grandz thanks lovey I always want to be for you as you are me honey 🤗

Oh so cute our family grew by one. You mean the world

👩‍❤️‍👩💜👀🛴🚜😍😢🐕🐶

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..and everyone 🤗..

Wow That is so good that Mr.Deebi has a car...Makes it easier to get around for your poor foot, back..etc...

Thats okay honey about your mh guy..can I just say with a lot of love and care...that you need to look after you the best you can..and you like your mh guy and he is someone you can trust to off load some bads...and talk to him.....

The thick skin...wish I had some..I think mine made of paper😂.. easy to tear into shreds with words or attitude....maybe one day I’ll toughen up..

I hope that your feeling good and with lots of happy memories being made...My greatest wish apart from being wiwawyip..is for your happiness.💖...

Um....about the pineapple 🍍...I kind of had a feast last night with some of it...I love fresh pineapple 🍍...but um...I think I still have enough....unless I eat it tonight..I won’t though because I found a lock 🔒 and chain ⛓..and locked my fridge...Pineapple safe now....

Be happy beautiful bbff...sleep well tonight for a wonderful day tomorrow...love you with so much care..💖🤗..

Look after each other as best you can🌜👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🐅🐆🐕🐩🤵🌛

Love and hugs beautiful people..💖🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🕊🌱...🐻🤗.