Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[monkey_magic]

Hey loverz, ♡♡♡

Wonderful news,

Companionship and love- one of life's gifts...

My rsvp to the bday party is pending...BB moderators have to approve lol lol...bcas I'll need an address... ( yes, I know how it works around here). We can only do a cyber party.

Anyhow loverz glad u have found each other.

MM

♡☆♡☆♡☆

[Ggrand]

Good Morning Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..and everyone 🤗..

Thought I would pop in to say hello to mybbff and Mr. D also..I hope yous enjoy your day today..it’s a beautiful day here..sun shining, birds singing and kangaroos munching on the grass.

Just brought you both a yummy breakfast...bacon, eggs, tomatoes and some pineapple juice...it’s set out on the balcony with 2 beautiful roses 🌹 🌹..one each....enjoy beautiful...

Thats okay honey..take your time with posts..enjoy getting to know each other, care and support each other as well..it’s Gold that you have someone in your life that you love and I am hoping Mr D will help push beasty away from you..Oh I made Mr.D a beasty Buster beanie identical to yours..only 3.9 seconds.😁...

Yes PTSD..drags all the crap to the front and mixed with a BP downer is hard and exhausting work trying to bring ourselves up...I know you can do it honey...you’re strong and have the want..even more want now..you have Mr.D..

Enjoy your day honey..a walk hand in hand along the beach, soaking your feet in the water..Sounds like your really busy bbff..please lovely lady take some time put for you both to just sit down and relax on the beach somewhere...letting the healing properties of the sun soak into your skin....

Hoping your day is good..I’m leaving for work soon..Just wanted to call in and let you know....I love you very much bbff.💖🤗🌹..Just incase you forgot..☺️..🐻🤗

Love and warm hugs everyone..💖🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🌱🕊🦢..

ps..🌜🐉🔥🌛..Keep your fire burning beautiful...

[Paw Prints]

Hello DB,

So happy for you lass, it definitely sounds like you have found a keeper whose able to accept your old love will always have a place in your heart. I truly think it's so lovely Mr D will be going to your mil's for her party, that will be such a special day for you all.

Of course I would love to join you celebrating her birthday. Hopefully sweetie Grandy will look in her satchel & find me a party dress that will magically hide the extra kilos. Then I can saddle up my Great Dane & ride over to partake of the festivities, with pressies in one saddle bag & Kahlua Choccies in the other.

Enjoy your whirlwind lass

Hugs

Paws

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and all..🤗..

Howz you doing honey?...

Youre very quiet about you and that’s beginning to be a bit of a concern for me....I’m allowed to be because you’re my bbff....

RUOK?......no need for a reply beautiful friend...um only if your up to it...🙃happy..😏meh...🥺sad..or extatic🥳....

Im so much looking forward to a party 🥳 🎉 at your beautiful mil’s home...and meeting mr Beautiful as well...I’m sure your mil will love him like you do...I’m already starting to....um does he like Tim tams (blue colour) or dark chocolate like me....I’m going to make a Tim tam ice cream cake..super gooey and yummy...

I have a little gift for you both...it’s a 🌜🌝🌛shiny sun broach for you...and 🌜🌝🌛..shiny sun cuff links for Mr D...When you are both close to each other it shines so brilliantly...When you are in need of help..just press the suns nose and the other person’s sun glows brilliantly and lights up..

Oh...new clothes for the party...let’s have a look 💼...Paws, Deebi and Mr D...um Mr D....👔👖👞....Paws...👗👒..Deebi.💃🏻👡...i got the model to show you what the red dress looks like...I hope you all like them...Me..um.. I’m still sewing 🧵 mine..

Oh Paws..sweet lady..I’ll vrooom 🚜 over to your’s and pick you up...only takes a sec or two..my 🚜 is super quick..🌪...

Debbi..honey..I’m hoping so much your starting to get on top of your exhaustion...Wish so much Sunday was for real for me..As long as you have lots of fun and laughter..I’ll be so very happy for you..you deserve so much happiness...

If you can honey...”Early to bed, early to rise, make the beasty run and hide”....

Good night Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..sweet dreams lovely one..Love is strong with me to you...yadimh...A golden thread is what joins two friends hearts as one..💜🤗🕊🌱..🌜🐻🤗🌛..

Good night everyone....Love and hugs💖🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy....🌱new beginnings for you bbff with peace🕊.

[demonblaster]

Heya gorgeous bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩💜 lovely Magic 🐒 Paws 🐾 and all good people ☺

Thank you for your beautiful supportive posts friendship and time. Love to you all 🤗

Oh Grandy you're such a gem I wish you knew just how deeply I love and appreciate you.

Just wanted to thank you for those gorgeous prezzies for us love them so much and I'm reading him stuff at times and will again. You're so beautiful dear friend.

Yes honey I'm very much good and happy its fairly full on atm but we'll eventually get into a routine then I'll be here more often like I want to be because bb the great place it is. May be a while but I'll still be here. I thought for a change while I'm ok I could step back for a bit not that I dont love the support and posts but then I can support others and you while I'm in the fast lane.

I wish more than you'd ever know Grandy that it was for real on Sunday 😢🤗

Monks and Paws thank you beautifuls def bbl to reply properly oh loven the saddling up the dane 🤣😂

🗯 for you all and love esp you Grandy 🤝👩‍❤️‍👩💜🐒🐾🌱🤢🥚🏍😚

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

Thank you so much for letting me know how you’re going..I can feel your excitement through your words and more then anything else am very happy for you...

Thats okay honey..although I’ll miss you so much..please take care of you and Mr.D..and build up a beautiful relationship..doing that is Gold my bbff....My wish is the very best life has to offer you..and I’ll always be here for you dearest bbff...Love you very much..💜👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🤗🌱🕊...

Please honey don’t push yourself to much...Rest, relax and enjoy yourselves...Thats very much important to me...you just might win this battle with beasty yet...🌜🔥👿🔥🌛..yay...

Sending you heap of love...big 🐻🤗..and lots of care 🌈...

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🕊🌱....

[demonblaster]

Beautiful bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩

Hi girls I'm in the ptpro ess of a reply 🤗

Grandz I'll never ever be away from you you're stuck with me. Wild horses wouldn't keep me away.

Always want to see and be with you you're one of my absolute top bbffs ever 👩‍❤️‍👩🗯💗

Cyaz tomoz beautiful people.

So much love Grandy. Hope today happened and was awesome. 😚🤗

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

I love being stuck to you....

Thank you for your beautiful heartfelt post..💜🕊🌱..

Love you deeply dearest bbff...💖💜🕊🌱🌈🐻🐾..Same Deebi....your my absolute only bbff...🚂💖..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy.....

[demonblaster]

Gorgeous Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 Monks🐒 Paws 🐾 Peppy ☘

Again many thanks you're all lovely and very appreciated 🤗

Yeah Monks thanks these loverz 😄💗💗💗 are very happy. He's a darling I'm completely wrapped. Early days but we're both talking love. Feels like we've been together yrs. Hope you hook up with your man sometime want you to be happy too.

😅 pending rsvp for parteee loven it. I reckon the mods will push you through lol. Cyber party sounding awesome, been a while since we all had a boogie.

Go easy lovey I'll be over yours near future 🤗

Paws our lovely dane rider vrroom 😄 at the saliva. Quite the look these days.
How gorgeous you being mother hen loved it 🤗

Yes very pleased he's going he's gorgeous and easy with people. You can't not like him he's so easy and lovable.

Omg Kahlua chocs..always loved you 😍 😅
Thanks heaps hun it's getting into a routine we stay half at his and half at mine. Bit of a pain back and forth but he does volunteer for a well known helping charity so we go to his for those days.

Really hope you're travelling better. Same I'll be at yours near future lovey 🤗

Darling bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 always 🗯 I worry about you beautiful.
Heya gorgeous we not me alone we'll get through our demons. It's easy not to be aware of how far we've come and 🤝 all the way.

Don't think I thanked you for the wardrobe for Sunday I was doing that ear to ear grin 😀

Grandz and girls I just asked brotherif my sweety Mr D can go with me for the trip over Xmas so thrilled its yes. Was sad thinking our first xmas apart we've been inseparable.
One thing would fully lift my life now Grandy... wiwyip 😢 love and care so much sweetyheart you're the best of the best 👩‍❤️‍👩

Thanks asking hun I'm getting close to full recovery from exhaustion.

I like your ideas us walking the beach you'll be with us beautiful.

Thank you for your absolutely beautiful company love and amazing friendship and I do mean it about wild horses Grandz I couldnt bear not having you in my life you mean SO much and thank you everyone for being so supportive always.

Oh Wolfy Doolsy Pauly geesh theres so many lovelies here now I'm on a mindblock walking thread you're all welcome to Sunday.

Tweety love I saw you on a card today it was so cute 🤗

PubAok lysvm yAdimh 👩‍❤️‍👩🗯💗🥚🤢🤝🏋️‍♀️😚🏍🌱

Take care beautiful people 🤗 much love 💗

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

I am so happy for you about Christmas at your brothers with your Mr.Beautiful...What a great time your all going to have...Your brother loves you very much...

I wanted to wish you all a lovely day tomorrow with our beautiful mil..on her birthday...Please honey...Can you wish mil a very happy birthday from me...and give her a birthday hug from me as well....please...

I spoke to Mother Nature today...and ask her to set up a perfect and beautiful sunny day tomorrow for you and all your family and friends....enjoy yourselves honey.....love 💜you very much.....your in my 💭 and safely tucked away in my 💓...🌜🐻🤗🌛.

Good night beautiful people...Love and hugs everyone.💖🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🌱🕊..