Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[demonblaster]

Hi there beautiful/s 😊

Hey sweetyheart 👩‍❤️‍👩 good on you going to walk to Bettys 😆 10 times and you'll be rignt daily. I just returned from one it was nearly 2000 steps oh I have a pedometer thx lovey telling me about the app sounds good but this is ok. I'd like one with time too this wasnt long maybe 15/20 mins I had 3 hills not whoppers but 2 arent bad little quicky work outs. I'm pretty fit now 😆..🏋️‍♀️.. I kept saying to go, was going to yesterday but it was raining for a while. Got my specials tomoz.

How cool you've got a cactus so maybe the watermelon will grow better this yr, hope so. Not really sure why having a cactus made me think it will but maybe cause they both hold a lot of water. Neat Grandz.

Got several nice sounding birdies around here I muted the TV and listening while I talk to you. I was thinking what dear Paws said about ambling and taking in nature but I went at a pace but it was a nice thought.

If I didnt have you and the beautifuls here I really don't know but I'll ring and cancel next psych skype. Gaenacologist appt about midway through this mth to see why the thickening of the wall, doc said it can be serious, we'll see. Seeing her in about a wk I think too. She's very good & a little sweety tho I'll be pleased to see my usual.

😅 .05 of rain.. woe hold on to your hats. Hope too you get more lovely, it lightly rained while I walked had the brolly.

I've got 2 big they are Kent 🎃 to cook just need to do so actually I am going to do one. They finally had them on special and there was 1 there 🤔 I asked besty who took me. Lucky got that.

I usually watch TV if I'm not going out anywhere and play my bubble game at times for ages. Which one did you say you like hun? Fun arent they.

Always so lovely seeing you Grandy true to lysvm 🤗😚 can't imagine my life without one of my beautiful bbff's in it ☺

You're so lovely choosing what I choose thanks Grandz.

Love your camel ride, apparently they're quite ill tempered and spit the charmers 😄 seen on docos.

Please take really good care honey (thx, love it 😀) and everyone here, we deserve peace and to be happy.

👩‍❤️‍👩💜👀🤝🏍🏋️‍♀️🎃💃☘🐾💖💗

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

Very well done going out for a walk today...and 2000 steps is good..plus what you do around the house etc..builds up quickly...I walked again today to Betty’s..had a cuppa tea and some Madeira cake...before I walked back home... ☕️ 🧁... doing hills would make you fit 🏋️‍♀️⛹️‍♀️🧘‍♂️...I puff puff going back to mine..uphill most of the way...I’m very unfit..will have to work on my fitness...🏋️‍♀️⛹️‍♀️⛹️‍♀️..we can do it together honey....

I should maybe move my cactus close to where the magical watermelon plant came up last year?...Strange how we think at times...maybe something we read or heard sometime in our past that jumps out of our thoughts at times...

Yummy soup at your soon.just ring the bell 🛎 on your bike..I’ll come a running 🏃‍♂️...It’s magical to my ears....if ever you need just ring 🛎....

Specials tomorrow..If you feel like going, I really hope your time with the lovelies their tomorrow will give you happies into your day...

I like jewel blast...I play the bubble game as well..but liking jewel blast better...Yes they are fun..Um I’m watching a bit of tv as well...some shows are funny...

Umm..Deebi..honey...The Skype Psych..is he only for meds or for talk release as well..I’m curious because you said you will ring and cancel appointment...maybe good to talk to him...even if it’s more talk about meds?...idk.....

I will make sure I’m free mid this month if it’s okay with you honey for your gaenocologist appointment..I’ll make some yummy healthy snacks for us to much on..🍭🍬🥧🥮🍪..

I hope you sleep well tonight dear bbff...love you very much..🌈💖.....sweet dreams beautiful friends..

Love and hugs..💖🤗👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩. Everyone..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..👼🦄🌹🛎🥧🍬🍭🏍☕️..

[demonblaster]

🤗 hi there GG 👩‍❤️‍👩 and all ☺

You're so gorgeous yes thank you I'd love you to come with me. 9h and the healthy's are looking delectable mmm can we have some now.

🛎 here darlin I bought our yum 🎃 soup 🍮 oh Grandz its a really nice batch it was quite Orange a bit deepish in colour yummo. Leaving a couple in your freezer too sweetness.

Psychiatrist hun. The other day we didnt talk long at all. He's nice but not any closer to what I wanted. Havent rung the psychologist yet that'll be yet another newby.

Madeiras yum love it. Take your time up those hills darlin I don't want you overdoing or stirring your beautiful heart please. Need you precious 🤗🤝💗

Jewel blast I think I use to play, they're great and easy just to play and zone out.

I'm so glad you have Betty, sounds like a really good friendship. So good you're walking hun.

Yes funny that popping into my mind. Hope they grow again this year. So neat and the Pumpkins too would be so good and your fave veg too.

Thanks lovey yes I thought there'd be a few more steps at home. I want to daily walk its not the hills like I did well 1 is but anything will be good. Might bed soon I feel tired. Oh did the soup too. No day sleep. Good.

I will enjoy my lovelies, beautiful bunch. Hope your call with mhn goes well too ☺

Love you very much too sweetyheart. If it's ok I'll chat at yours tomoz sweety I've read. Always you're in my 🗯 beautiful friend ☺😚

Hope we all and I reckon you will Grandz sleep well tonight. Cu2moz bbff 🤗 thanks for being such a beautiful friend darlin 💗

👩‍❤️‍👩💜🏋️‍♀️💃💨👀🤝🎃🛎🍮

[Peppermintbach]

Hi wonderful DB (and a wave to all),

I agree with you that it would have been/is a tough decision with the meds. You seem to have a made a decision now, which I understand came with considerable thought and reflection. I’ll of course respect that choice 🙂

You sound like you have quite a few appointments. Very busy with them, but it sounds like your health team is taking good care of you.

It’s great to hear that you’re wanting to get back into your art. I wonder if you have anything in mind that you want to work on or if it’s more of a general desire for artistic creation?

I think it was very generous of Grandy to share her lemon drizzle cake (even though I’m pretty sure I gave you a whole one the other day).

About the choccy bars that “fell” out of your pocket...let me guess....you’re going to try telling me that they “magically” appeared in your pocket and that it had nothing to do with how you were perhaps found snooping around my choccy bar factory?

Supersoul hugs and much love,

Peppystar xoxo

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, hi Peppy and everyone 🤗..

Sure Can honey....here you go 🍭🍬🥧🥮🍪...I’ve made extra for our trip...plenty for everyone 😂...

I was going to buy tomorrow a pumpkin..maybe I still will if I can get up early enough to get before work....Can’t go after work...not a good place to be after dark....I so much want to make again a pumpkin soup...

That’s okay Deebi about ringing a psychologist, when you’re ready you will..Im sorry honey that your Skype psych isn’t working out for you.......

Deebi...it’s okay about walking....Even a few minutes is better then no minutes... ...Poor Deebi....you walked a long way today to special group and back home...I really do hope your feet are okay...maybe a nice soak in a foot 🧼 ...or bucket...would have been close to 10,000...Well ✅ done..

I think if we don’t day sleep..it’s easier to fall asleep at night....Ive been sleeeping to many hours with these meds...they really can’t be good for me...I mean going 12-14 hours without a glass of water...is a good way to dehydrate also I think laying constantly on my sore hip aggravates it more...I don’t think much turning around with meds......I’m wondering if the same with you....when you sleep meds does your back, shoulder etc ache more...if so maybe because not turning around and laying on the same most of the night...something maybe honey to take note of next time you med for sleep..idk just my thoughts...

I hope you enjoyed your day today..and had a rest after your long walk🤗..take care of you honey...your important to me and I need you in my life..💖😂🦄👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹👼..L💖ve Y👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩U..bbff...sss...please be okay sweet friend always....

Love and hugs..💖🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🦄👼🍭💭⛑

[demonblaster]

Hi lovely Peppy Grandy 🤗 & any readers ☺
Hey Peppystar I cancelled more with the skype psychiatrist I'm still on the AD's and can always go those if I can't cope. History with BP has been horrendous and I'm still here. Will be good managing myself it's about learning the skills. I believe most of us are capable.


I've looked a lot but been stuck and haven't done art for a while. Want to move on mils one and finish a stack sometime, same look often but doing grr.

That drizzle cake was beautiful, yes Grandys so sweet sharing it isn't she. Oh .. oh .. so you noticed I was lurging around but not why you'd think I just wanted to be sure it was all secure you know the high demand for choccy these days you can't be too careful 😆

Love to you dear Peppy, I am reading and will be back lovely friend 🤗 thanks Peps ☺🗯👀🤝

Hiya Grandy Floss 🤗 thank you too lovely one 😀

Hope you managed to get a 🎃 before work darlin I know you're not in the best shape atm 🗯 always sweety.

My foots a bit stirred from the walk not too bad, going to bike today in garage to rest it. Was good walking. I'll maybe tomoz and thurs up the hill to Dr.

In BP when I do sleep yes possibly barely move and the headaches seem pretty severe. I imagine your meds knock you out pretty well apparently these ones if I went them do too. Your poor hip it'll be good when we know your results and from your ear.

Need you in my life too lovely friend can't imagine not 😢😭 love you deeply sweety. Hope todays not too harsh on you. Keeping an eye out.

👩‍❤️‍👩💜👀🤝🗯🎃💗

[Ggrand]

Hello beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹..

I hope you know that you really are the best thing that has happened to me ever....Thank you precious friend for the beautiful post on mine...I will reply later on mine....Gee I love you lots..💖..

Im sorry your foot is ouching you...I didn’t know you had a garage..that’s cool that your exercise bike is in their...it’s outside of your home..but still be careful how you position your foot on the peddles...Maybe I should pop over and um modify it, so that you don’t hurt your foot, I could ...just a sec.. 💼..I got to get my knitting needles out....um I think a nice bright purple colour....there you go honey..some soft cushions for your feet and ..hmm seat...only 4.8 seconds..Geez I’m getting quicker..I hope they help, I put a heat pack in them so you don’t get cold😚..

Was it Today you went to Dr or tomorrow...please be careful walking lovely friend...how’s your arm twitches going and your poor back...Please take it slow when your walking 🚶‍♂️..I hope what ever your going to the Drs for...you get good results..pease be okay special friend..🌈💖..

Im about to prepare my pumpkin for cooking....I am really wanting some warm soup...Oh I slept with the pumpkin last night..I tucked it in so it would freeze..My water at night sometimes has ice in it in the morning😂😂..I didn’t want my poor yummy pumpkin to feel cold, before I cooked it...😂😂..

Deebi...there a thingy that you can buy that goes under your pillow slip to keep your head cool while you sleep...I had one years ago but lost it somewhere...Oh Yes Deebi..I slept 15 hours last night...that’s way too much..and my hip woke me up..I noticed I went to sleep the way I woke up...so they definitely contribute to not turning around...Maybe the same when you get headaches...I am wondering if you take a bottle of water to bed with you..I do and on waking drink at lest half before I get up..sometimes it takes a small headache away...

Our lives have been entwined by a greater force then us beautifulheart...You are stuck with me...if that’s okay..super glued 🤝..and hearts 💞💝...not letting go..or going anywhere...Love you too much...🌈💖💖🦄👼...Please bo okay..always...sss....Beautiful Best Forever Friends..👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👭..

Love and special warm soul hugs 💖👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💖..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🎃🤝💝🦄👼🌈💖..

[demonblaster]

Hey there Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and readers ☺

What a beautiful post they always are, you're so lovely 🤗 thank you sweetyheart.

I love you lots too Grandz 😀💜

😂 you're so cute fixing up the bike for me love it thank you I was 😀 geez I havent and was going too same was going to walk today and didnt it was a gorgeous day in Paradise.

Thanks lovey the twitches are less intense and I dont think as many places since the nerve conduction. Backs still a slight angle on getting up but not much pain now and foots not too bad. How bout you your poor hip. Sounds like those pills really knock you. You must have needed that whopper sleep huns.

Oh I LOVE how you looked after your 🎃😂 you're a card Grandy. Hope its really yum for you. I use to cut it along the grooves now I'm cutting in half cleaning it out then half again then again its a bit quicker. Enjoy beautiful heart ☺

Sounds nifty for the pillow slip. I've caught a couple having a good run but put some stuff on my neck the muscles were very tight and achy.

Doc wanted to see me nd a mth from last visit. I have NDIS stuff for her to fill in for the application I sent ages ago.

Yes I take water to bed huns thanks ☺

Oh Grandz so glad to be stuck & super glued with you beautiful 🤝thank you for never letting go and being by me. Beautiful kind people here.

Grandz havent been to bbq for mths except maybe twice. Withdrawing. Need to change that.

Love you so very much beautifulheart please take good care and everyone 🤗☺

👩‍❤️‍👩💜👀🤝💼🗯😂🎃💗💖🌶

[Paw Prints]

Hello DB,

How are you lovely lass. Hope your foot has settled. I get the feeling you're feeling a bit down at the moment & struggling to do things. I wish I could send you some happy beans to help. Perhaps Grandy can find something in her 💼 that will work. I'm here for you, whatever you need. To sit quietly with you or give you hugs & a hand to hold, whatever works for you.

Be gentle to yourself

Paws

[Ggrand]

Hello beautiful besty Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩and everyone..

Im pleased to hear that the twitches are slowly evaporating..and your not in to much pain with your back...
WW is looking into NDIS for me, in regards to my lawns..I’m not fussed about whether I’m accepted or not...Then again they say they’re going to do things but I never hear the outcome if they do, do it...

I never took sleeper last night...I got 5 hours and remember me tossing and turning and my hip wasn’t that sore..Not sure either next Tuesday or the one after and I’ll get my results from my dr...I can’t remember appointment date...She rings the morning of my appointment so alls good....

I managed to get into BV last night and was so happy that I cried for a long time....and my emails are coming through as well....How good is that...I done something right...I logged off then logged on again and bingo their it was...I had to reset my password because silly me always forgets them....

Are you okay honey mentally?

I struggle with preparing the pumpkin 🎃..I wish they made a softer pumpkin...This time my soup was yummier then last time...Must have been me taking 🎃 to 🛏 😂😂..I have plenty if you want to have dinner at mine tonight...I’ll prepare the spare bed...with lots of blankets and doonas to keep you warm.....

Thats okay honey about bbq...please believe me that it is okay....When you’re feeling up to going..nothing will stop you...Your physical health and mh..is your top priority..please look after you dearest bbff....for you and your besty.....

Awe..honey.I was a bit worried about your back, arm and foot with doing your bike...I’m um relieved that you didn’t..I think walking is much gentler for our body and it’s a natural type of exercise...

I hope your day was good precious friend and you had som light in your day....I just payed around today under a doona...it’s cold..it’s snowing 50 kilometres from mine...oh and the wind here is so strong and making that nice howling noise...

Love you so very much...👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌈💖..bbff...sss 4 eva...🤝💝💞..

Love and hugs everyone...💜🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...👼🦄🌹🌈💖..