Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[demonblaster]

Hey gorgeous Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 & readers ☺

Yes sweety 🏠 big day. Long time in tunnel was hurting my L) leg but I moved it a bit that helped. Yes it'll be good that and bloods done both big jobbies out the way.

Grandy I loved our tunnel time 🤝😆 we always have giggles. Geez that touched me..move over I'm coming too. You're SO beautiful.

Yes I had maccas oop really have to get this bloody weight off.

Not worrying yet about psych. Mindspot said it can be difficult with two types of therapy at once. I rang left a msg was suss on a bloke didnt sound professional and its a lady I'll be seeing. No reply looks like theres a number round the wrong way and my doc printed it. Laters. Mindspot starts June 3rd.

I am tired darlin, I bet you are too. I hope you're feeling better beautiful. Always so lovely hearing from you thank you so much darlin 🤗

Lots of love Grandy dear friend ☺🗯💜👩‍❤️‍👩

Sleep well too beautiful soul sissy 🤗💗

⛑✨🍫⚘🕊🌈🤝🏠😚🤗🗯🎃

[blondguy]

Hey DB

I really wish I had fingers as nimble as you using a cell phone with all the emoticons 🙂

Just wishing you a good weekend and reminding you that you are a legend......just in case you forgot 😉

my kindest hugs always

Paul

[demonblaster]

Hey Paully lovely to see you thanks for popping in ☺

I wish I was that nimble too ☺ nah its a tablet which makes it easier.

Lovely you saying that thanks matey 🤗 kind hugs welcome and back at you ☺

Hope you're doing well buddy.

Have a good weekend too Paul 🕊

[Ggrand]

Good morning Beautifulheart,...Umm it’s afternoon now...so Good Afternoon as well. i just wanted to call in and let you know that I’m wishing you a beautiful and peaceful day, full of happies.....Today is lovely warm sunny day here....Not sure how warm or sunny it is at your place, but I hope no matter what Mother Nature has given you, your day will be pleasant....

The same for everyone reading this....

Deebi...Sweet sunshine soul spirit sissyter...I’m awyis..yadimh...lysvm..no matter what sweetyheart..pubaok...you feel and are loved you are my family...love you around the 🌍 and beyond....bbff 💜🤗👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

Happy for you that your Mindspot course starts soon...They said the same to me, that it’s best to go through the course with only them, as they are professional councillors, I found they were very caring in a professional way....

I hope you slept well last night..and woke up refreshed and ready for the beautiful day that today is....

How are you Mentally and physical sweet friend....did the Drs say how long until your Dr receives your results?...

Please look after yourself today and everyday beautifulheart...be gentle and kind to yourself...as you are to me and the others here and in r/l...

That’s okay about maccas....after such a long tiring day a little something to make you feel better is just what ⛑nurse Grandy ordered..😂😂..Me being with you in spirit..I had a double choc sundae....with a strawberry on top...

What are you up to doing today, my dearest friend?....

i hope your feeling strong both mentally and physically...

My post is all over the place..😂😂 it’s taken quite a while to write it....I’m sorry if it’s confusing to you....

Enjoy your day....

Love and hugs..💜🤗..beautiful people...

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🍫⛑🌈🐄🌜🌍🌛..

[demonblaster]

Hey beautiful heart and lovelies ☺

Without fail it's always so lovely seeing you soul sis thank you for your beautiful visit.

Same it's arvo here. Geepers got up had breaky went back bed and finally up again. I know I should walk but just not. Foots slightly sore from shoes yesterday without arch supports but thats not really much different. Woke a few times with immediate down thoughts but choofed them ok.

I know I should be walking. The rooms not changed but I'll get into it sometime sigh.

I heard c.transport were waiting so I choofed after MRI I didnt ask them to send results to GP but they're able to access my info I believe and assuming they'd upload results to requesting hospital for the blood and mri. Hope so.

I'm not sure Grandy I'm not down as such but haven't really got any mojo for anything particularly. Tho yesterday chatting with the people was good but dunno lovey. Guilty I guess is a big. I need and want to get this extra weight off, want to walk, finish the room do my art but nada happening. Sleeping copious amounts.

Love you having a double choc with a Strawberry on top 😆 ya gorgeous 🤗

Darlin I'd be stoked if I could do posts as well as you just did. You say all over the place I didnt think that at all gorgeous. It's an achievement pressing that post button in these times when it takes an age isnt it. Good job darls

You are the 🌎 to me too beautiful friend ☺ I too lysvm awyis yadimh sss bbff gg pubAok

Thanks sweetyheart hope your days a good one and that you find some happiness in it. Loved reading you were enjoying the antics of your 🐄 😆 sounded awesome

Tomoz cuppa at mils. 2 definately maybe 3 friends going.

Love you very much beautiful lady soul sissyter 🤝 always wishing the best for you. You have such a beautiful heart. Pleasure knowing and loving you 💗🗯🕊

👩‍❤️‍👩💜🌜🌎🌛⛑✨🍦😚🤗🐄🌱

[Ggrand]

Hello beautiful Deebi..

Thats okay beautifulheart please don’t be hard on you..you’ll get there...There’s no hurry for the room..I love snuggling in amongst your clothes it’s comfy...Your walking will start again Deebi..I don’t think it’s as much as your not motivated as it’s moreso you knowing your footvwill cause you pain...,When ever your ready sweety is the right time to walk...

Yes I think that the results get emailed directly to your Dr. as soon as they are ready...

If your sleeping a lot..it’s because you need to..I’m not sure but I don’t think we can force sleep onto ourselves...Look at it this way sweety that while you’re sleeping...beasty is as well..and while it’s sleeping your getting stronger, both physically and mentally.....

Wishing you a beautiful time tomorrow with your lovely mil and friends...I hope so much that your time tomorrow with them is a super dooper good time....

I really called in to wish you a good night beautifulheart and sweet dreams...but couldn’t resist talking to my bbff...

I will look into my 💼....just have to have patience while I find what I’m looking for...🥝nope....🧘‍♀️..hmmm...where is it.....okay here it is...🎢🎡🏟 a little bit of mojo😇....Fun brings out our best mojo.....enjoy beautifulheart.😚👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🤗..

Love you dearest friend..💜😂...🐄..enjoy your sleep tonight and tomorrow’s out..pubaok..yadimh..awyis..lysvm 🌈💜🦋🌍🤝..

love and hugs..everyone..💜🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🌜🌍🌛...🌜👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌛..

[demonblaster]

😂 hey darlin 👩‍❤️‍👩 and all lovelies

Can't imagine my life without you in it brightening it up. Adore you soul sista. Thank you for another lovely visit. Love our time. So glad you found mojo 👼 she's good at hide n seek I just need the seek beans.

Phooey not long ago I felt really down wow then kinda realized and came out of it. Icky

Oh good I feel heaps better knowing your ok snuggling the clothes.. phew and the map and compass 🔭 would have helped so you could find the 🛏 and 😴🕊

Good hope doc does get them. Thx hun ☺

Thanks lovey be nice seeing family again and friends. They all know eachother so it's easy.

😂 I waited patiently while you looked in your 💼 .. you're absolute 🦄 🤗 oh oh ..I installed a GPS the other day and the drone finds stuff for us too. Good having such a modern 💼 isn't it.

Sweetyheart I want you to pull some actually heaps of ✨ so we can 🤝 enjoy them tonight and you can have my shoulder.. 🤗 and 👂anytime you need Mrs beautiful 💗

Agree it's harder for beasty when we're asleep and yes I'll get the room done and 💃 walk again. Such gorgeous days too.

Thanks always Grandy yadimh lysvm sss bbff gg pubAok awyis

Sleep well everyone. Love you Grandz so much 😚

👩‍❤️‍👩💜👀🤝🌜🌎🌛🍦🗯💼💃👼

[Peppermintbach]

Hi wonderful DB (and a wave to all),

I hope you have a good day with you mil and friends tomorrow 🙂 I think it’s touching how your love’s memory gets to live on through that special bond between you and you mil....

I think sometimes it can be hard to feel motivated or energised. Maybe, for now, your body just needs that extra rest...gentle and easy does it...

Super soul hugs and much love,

Peppystar xoxo

[demonblaster]

Hi there lovely Peppystar Grandy and readers ☺

Thanks Peppy lovely seeing you. Yes was a really good day. 2 friends went 2 couldnt. Was great. Besty and I sung at the top of our voices on the drive up and back 😲 was fun.

Yes I think it's recovery from the big BP. Was pleased I just had a spurt tidying in the spare room. Maybe 2/3 more digs at it. Happy.

Getting more set to get the weight off and back to easier walking till the foot behaves when though daghh.

Special group tomoz then mhw taking me shopping.

Hope you're doing better lovely friend ☺🤗

Grandy hope you're having an easier time of it too beautiful. My besty when I was raving on about you as always to everyone and here said she'd love to hug you for looking after me so beautifully.

Happy days you beautiful people. It really is in us and achievable I know now.

Big Love Grandy 🤗😚👩‍❤️‍👩💜🗯 you too Peppy lovely 🤗🕊

Take care loves 💗

👩‍❤️‍👩💜🤝🗯✨🌜🌎🌛

[Ggrand]

Good night Beautifulheart...

Thank you, for you...I hope your day today was good..

Sleep well lovely bbff...Love you...🌜🌍🌛...

Then please sweet lady tomorrow enjoy your day with your special group..and don’t forget our tim tams...please..

I needed to come to here to look at your avatar..it makes me feel not so alone... If that makes sense...

Sweet dreams...love and hugs.🤗🤗 ..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..