Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[demonblaster]

Hey beautiful Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and readers 😊

Thanks Grandy popping in ya lovely friend.

I'm not too bad thanks Mindspot rang today and I start early June.

Friday darling for MRI. 😆 love you said to move over you're so gorgeous 🤗 thanks honey 😚

Sorry realized I forgot to reply about twitches. I think I'm getting used to them and more noticeable in bed. Possibly slightly less intense but not sure.

Headache tried a couple of times but I removed the pillow and lay flat helped no end.

Yes I had some of that paperwork in a bag but not sure where I put it. Good idea what you use. Must remember to find it.

Yip slept again sarvo.

Hope you're ok after your flu jab. I've not ever had one. Don't think I've ever had the flu. Had colds.

Sugars a curse isn't it.

Mentally not too bad thanks darl happy not doing anything particularly. Watching charmed love that show the new ones good too.

Hope work was good for you today and your bods holding up Grandy darling. PubAok lysvm awyis yadimh ssss bbff gg.

Love you ☺

👩‍❤️‍👩💜💗👀👂🤝🍫💼🔥✨🔑💤

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

I hope your okay sweety💜..

If it’s okay I’ll pop in tomorrow....today I’m all messed up...but I’m okay...Head is banging 🔨 away as well..🤕..I’m going to bed now...

Love you dearest friend...puabok..yadimh..awyis...

Sleep well beautifulheart...dream sweet dreams...

Love and hugs..💜🤗.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🍫👀🤝👂..

[demonblaster]

Hey sweetyheart 👩‍❤️‍👩

I've been worried about you beautiful. Not good you have bang bang ahh darlin. Maybe try your cool towel honey.

Look after yourself sweety I'll 🛵 be over in a tic ⛑ to look after you poor darling.

PubAok dear soul sissyter

Hope you manage some sleep huns. Sorry you're unwell Grandy lovely 🤗

Love you very much dear friend 💗

👩‍❤️‍👩💜🗯🤝👀💗🤕⛑✨

[Doolhof]

Hi Deebi, Grandy and All,

Hope your day is better today than yesterday.

This morning I am going to joint he residents at the home for Breakfast and a chat and will then be going tot he Op Shop. Hopefully there may be some children there for me to say "hi" to...after I ask their parent's permission to do so.

Looks like a lovely day here again, shame to be inside all day. Maybe I will take my lunch outside to eat when at the Op Shop.

Hope you all have something nice planned for the day.

Cheers from Dools

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi, Mrs Dools Peppy and all...

Mrs Dools, your day today sounds like it will be a good day..I hope your morning tea this morning was good and at the op shop the same...

Deebi..I’ll be over early tomorrow morning to make you a hearty breakfast...bacon, tomatoes, poached eggs and toast with an orange,mango juice to top it off...

Youre in for a big day beautifulheart, is your mhw taking you to your appointment?.....

Please maybe tonight put a half filled bottle of water in your freezer and freeze it for tomorrow’s trip..just top it up with cold fridge water for a long lasting cold drink...Maybe a couple of otc pain relief in your 💼 just in case your head starts being naughty again....and here is some yummy 🍫🍫 to share with your beautiful friends....I wish I was going with you...remember dearest bbff that I’m with you every step of the way, holding on to you and whispering little positives in your ears...letting you know how much I love and care for you....💜🤗👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...and try to keep you from being scared or anxious...I know it hard not to be..I went into the tunnel for my heart test....it’s okay I pictured I was going through the middle of a rainbow and out the other side their you were waiting for me with some flowers...😁and choccy.....I will be waiting for you dearest bbff..with a hot cup of coffee and a pkt of blue Tim Tams...😁💜🤗..

I hope you sleep well tonight dear Deebi, and dream of only sweet and beautiful things..that goes for everyone reading this...💜🤗...

Deebi..pubaok..awyis.. yadimh..lysvm 💜🤗👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...holding your hand dear soul spirit sissyter....🤝👀👂....Love you 💜💜🚂🚿🚜🐜🎂🦉🌲...

love and hugs everyone...🤗🤗💜💜.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🌜deep in my 💜🌛....bbff..

[Ggrand]

Oops me again beautifulheart 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...I forgot to say how very much excited I am for you starting the Mindspot course....

[demonblaster]

Hey there Doolsy Grandy & other lovelies 😊

Doolsy nice to see you thanks for popping in. Does sound like you had a busy day ahead. Hope it was good 😊 and that you're doing well too 🤗

Grandy darlin hiya 🤗😀 been worried about you 🗯

Thanks Grandz I'm ok just glad I dont suffer from claustrophobia, 2 hrs is a long one in the tunnel. Hard to believe one I fell asleep was haggard from BP. He commented I was one of the best staying still😆 said I was 😴

You're so gorgeous I keep thinking and smiling about you saying move over you're going to hop in with me. You're so beautiful love you deeply Floss.

No going with community transport. It's a hospital about half hr closer than the other one so probs take 3 hrs each way approx.

How gorgeous the rainbow ☺ I'll look forward to seeing you at the other side. Gotta have blood tests too. Apparently pretty detailed as well.

Thanks for the 🍫 Blue pkt Tim tams ya beaut and coffee sweetyheart. Yes I put extra cinnamon on your special cake sweetyheart 💗

Geez I'm still sleeping heaps unbelievable Grandy. Gotta get up super early tomoz then Sunday cuppa at mils.

Ohhh you're so sweet cooking me that lovely breaky yum. What a love you are.

Yes I'll hopefully remember my water, not nuts on cold as but great idea lovely. Oh found the blood test yay.

Ok lovely ladies many thanks again for your love care and support.

Grandy pubAok yadimh awyis bbff lysvm ssss gg 👩‍❤️‍👩💜

🍫✨💼⛅💤💕👀🤝⛑🤗🔥

[Ggrand]

Good morning Beautiful Deebi..

Wishing you a good easy day today and sending you lots of gentle love and care....

I’m with you in spirit today beautifulheart holding your hand all day...😁 squishing you up in the MRI tunnel...🤗👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

I though I would bring you a small crystal pendant..if you hold it up to the sun..maybe the light will work and gentle move it from side to side you get such brilliant colours like a diamond...Can you picture those bright colours in your mind...What do they remind you of?....Maybe you can think about those gorgeous colours while your waiting for your tunnel ride.....or while your inside....I’m looking at my sun catcher now..and the colours are like bright little lights..so bright they could be tiny little angels or fairies dancing around the crystal....I especially like the deep green that the crystal produces....The depth of the green reminds me of emerald, beautiful soft grass after the rain, the sea weed washed up on the deep golden sand.....💜🦋.. What do you see sweet Deebi, in your little crystal?...

Please you be okay...beautifulheart....👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..awyis...lysvm...yadimh....💜🦋👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💼🌲🌜🤝👀👂🌛...

Lots of love and huge soft squishy bugs.🐛🐝🐞🐜🦗😂😂......oops...silly me...I meant warm soft caring hugs🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗.,

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💜🤗....🐞🍫🐝🦗🐜🐛🦋😂😂

[demonblaster]

Hi bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 & other lovely people ☺

You're so sweet coming with me in spirit lol I imagined you in the tunnel with me ya sweetyheart really loved that 🤗 thought of your 🌈 too ☺

Think it was an hr and half the MRI was brain and full back. Two of the poor people their appointments both were cancelled I was lucky I had mine and the blood taken twice out of that poor vein. They had further than me to travel well one did. Slack for them eh. Wasted long day

Big day Grandy blaghh

I really hope you're feeling better today darlingheart you've not been in good shape precious friend. Love and care so very much about you hun 😚

Phooey loven that crystal you're so beautiful oh yeah I love the deep Red wow like a couple of..

• Red cars (nice deep Red)

• Capsicum
• Red pencil
• Red felt pen
• Red pencil case
• Apples
• Tomatoes
• Red element to cook on
• Red glitter

You're a real gem Grandy

PubAok lysvm awyis yadimh ssss bbff gg 👩‍❤️‍👩💜

Thank you for being such a beautiful great friend soul sissyter 😆

Always 🗯

🤝🍫🌱🦄🐕🌈😚👀

[Ggrand]

Hello a Beautiful Deebi.....

Are you home 🏠 now Deebi?...

It was a big squashy in the tunnel, but we managed okay?...A few giggles here and their...I like the way the tunnel turns around while the bed stays still....it’s kinda weird....but hey beautifulheart your tests are all done for now....relaxing time now...and how about a yummy double choc sundae 🍦...you deserve it...

The red from the crystal really is intense and deep...I love what the colour reminds you of.....

I hope all your tests comes back soon so that the Drs can start trying to help you..with your poor back and body....to relieve some pain for you..

You’re probably so tired sweetyheart, after your big day..I hope you get a good sleep tonight...and dream of beautiful things...

Please you be okay always....yadimh..lysvm..awyis...💜🤗👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏠🦋🐄🐍🐝🤝👀👂

love and hugs beautiful friend..bbff...sss....💜💜😂😂

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🐍🚂🐞🦅🐜🐛🦉..