Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[Doolhof]

Hi Deebi, Grandy, Pepper and All,

Hey Deebi, you mentioned onions and goggles. I have a photo of my husband cutting up onions wearing my swimming goggles. Some onions really do make your eyes water so much.

Hope you manage okay giving up the cigarettes. Must be a very difficult thing to do. I smoked as a teenager, I used to get bronchitis a lot so smoking just made me cough more.

Also hope you can find something different to do with your hands instead of holding a cigarette. I have heard of people taking up crafts so their hands are busy.

Hope you all have a great day.

Cheers from Dools

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..Mrs Dools, Peppy and all..🤗💜.

Thank you Deebi..it’s nice being here...also and listening to your beautiful words....I think your mil will be missing your wonderful company by now...I’m happy for you that you have a very loving family......💜🤗..

I hope your trip home was a good one..and your not to tired...Getting up super early is really hard, I hope you managed to get some sleep later on today....

I’m pleased your mental and physical health is okay...Thats the most important thing that we all wish for...I’m super proud of you with your smokes..your doing a really good job..you will get their Deebi..I know you will..☺️..

Im doing okay Deebi....Trying hard to eat healthier...Had pumpkin soup tonight with a salad after...only one more night left..might have tomorrow night...Geez one pumpkin sure goes a long way...doesn’t it?....I will make again in a few weeks and freeze into single meals...

Now a little hand chain saw..that’s a brilliant idea...it’s...a hard job and we need to be trying to be very mindful when we prepare the pumpkins...

haha..Mrs Dools..I have used swimming goggles at times. also those industrial eye protection glasses...nothing stops the tears...😭..Onion juice and their fumes seems to penetrate through everything...

I hope you have a beautiful night tonight dear friend...I left you a bunch of 💐 on your dining table..I hope you liked them....ohh ohh and a chocolate 🍫 in the microwave 😂😂😂..Enjoy sweetyheart....🤗💜.

Love you dearest bbff...Sissyter 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...pubaok..yadimh.. awyis..lysvm....always..💜🤗🤗 👀🤝👂..

love and hugs everyone..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🤝👀👂..

[demonblaster]

Hi Doolsy Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and other lovely people ☺

Nice to see you Doolsy thanks for dropping in.

Yes I've used glasses teaspoon in the mouth running cold water. Grandy used the goggles love it. As you say Grandy it penetrates everything 😭

Thanks Doolsy I'll be fine with smokes I've put a stack of weight on giving up so often, I'm ok but when mania comes it's all intensified.

Take care darl and again thanks ☺🤗⚘

Grandy 🤗 hi darlin I really hope you are ok, well done eating healthy, yes it's great Pumpkins spread a lo g way. Mil and sil loved the 🎃 soup theres still a fair bit. Think others will have some too. Good.

Ohh those flowers are beautiful thank you darlin you're such a sweety. Love you 💜 oh and the microwave 🍫 haha you're a classic

Love mil so much she's a real darling. Thanks nice what you said ☺

Good trip home hun ta, dozed in bus and yes got a lovely arvo sleep. Geez Grandz I've gotta stop this eating and get the weight off. Urghh

Sure do have to be mindful cutting them up. It's a wonder theres nothing out there that I know of anyway to cut them up.

Did my mindspot assessment today so got the ball rolling.

About 3/4's through that part of the room so be good when its done, been ok doing it in bits, didnt today but all good.

Grandy pubAok yadimh awyis lysvm ssss bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩💜

So much love 😚🤝🐿🐘🍫👀👂

Both and everyone look after yourselves 💗

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

😂 I’ve never heard of tea spoons in the mouth.i might try that next time...Sounds like fun...😁..

How are you today dearest bbff...?

Im okay...Just cleaning house today....one of my darling fur children 🤢 was sick last night....Ewee I am cleaning up the mess😷....luckily I have covers over my lounges...she got that, the vynal tiles and missed my carpet square.🤗...been washing lounge covers, floors etc..now my house smells of pine-o-clean 🌲...I think it was Ebony, she is very clingy towards me today...poor sweet Ebony...I hope I didn’t cause this when I took her for a walk yesterday....🤦‍♀️..

Well done doing the Mindspot assessment....I hope the questions were okay for your🤗..Well done I’m so very proud of you..

It won’t last long before I want to go back to the yummy tasty food again....love oily food...Fried chicken, chips, fish, hmmm fried taste better...

Please have a beautiful day today lovely lady..and everyone reading...

Ive checked on Masterchef google and couldn’t find anything else to use for pumpkins ....I didn’t peel it, I took the seeds outs..then put skin and all into the soup..I hear that most fruit/vegetables the skin is the part with most nutrition in it....

I hope you day is a beautiful day..and you managed to do what you wanted to do with today....that goes for everyone...

Deebi...please sweetyheart...pubaok.. yadimh.. lysvm.. awyis..Bpaly....ssss...

I posted on mine earlier..maybe the airport ✈️🛩🛫🛬 is very busy...I never noted, and can’t remember what I said...I really should remember to not the longer posts..🤗👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

I’ll leave you now beautifulheart..I’ll bbl..right now I need to get my last load of doggie blankets out on the line to dry.....Lots of love and big hugs 🤗 dear friend...and everyone....

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🌲😁🛬🐜🤦‍♀️🍫🤢💪💐🚂🦉🎂🥕..

[demonblaster]

Hi beautiful Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 & readers ☺

Always lovely to see you thank you dropping by.

Awe poor little Ebony hope she's ok now. Big job your house smells good I'm guessing. Nice and fresh.

Oh Grandy I woke with literally a throbbing 🤕 wow it went into a dream, phoo still not great had 4 meds but I'll take another couple they're keeping it at bay but still hanging around a bit. Was a shocker. Been 😴 most of the day wow heaps.

Just had a shower washed my hair boyo did it need it, 😆 was all directions.

Yip thats what I do scoop out seeds and cook her up and blend it all. Thats what I've heard a lot of goodness is in the skin in veges and some fruit. The juice is nice too have to be healthy.

Oh yeah hear you with fried foods yum. You're doing well. Was thinking about you walking today maybe your focus was on the furs that made you less vulnerable. So pleased you did 🤗

Yes beautiful the questions for mindspot were ok. I'll here back within 2/3 days they say.

I'm going to go easy and heat Pumpkin soup too.

If my heads ok I have my lovely special group tomoz then mhw.

Love you Mrs Grandy ssss pubAok hope you're getting enough rest lovely ☺😚

BPaly sweetyheart 💗

👩‍❤️‍👩💜👀👂🤝🐶🦄🍉🥕✨🎃🍫

[Ggrand]

Good Morning Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

How are you feeling today beautifulheart? 💜 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

Ebony wouldn’t leave my side yesterday..Today..she is back to her usually happy mischievous self...🐕💜.

Im sorry about your 🤕 ..I hope it disappears soon ....I’m just wondering..if the little nap you had in the bus 🚌 or train 🚂. on your way home from mil..if you slept at a funny angle with your neck or back...and it wasn’t in a good position as the bus 🚌 bounced along....Just my thoughts..🤗🤗...Silly headaches poor darling💜🤗..

I really hope your feeling well enough for your lovely special group because I know how much love you have for them and the lovelies they help to make you feel good and shopping with your mhw is also a beasty chaser offa...Remember honey that it’s okay if you don’t go....Please look after you first....

One lady from 🎯 doesn’t have a license to drive...and the person that she always goes with has dr appointment tomorrow..she msged me yesterda and asked me to pick her up tomorrow....Looks like I’m going...😏..Plus it’s some exercise..I’ll wear my phone in my pocket today and see how many steps I do at 🎯...

I’m really happy for you with Mindspot....The are caring lovely councillors that ring us weekly....

Your right Deebi...I was focusing on my furs when I walked them...because..Oh my goodness the one I took kept going from side to side and I had to be mindful of not tripping over the lead😂😂...They Both done the same...I’m sure they will get better.....No walk yesterday..

I just wanted to call in and wish you a Lovely and peaceful day today..and I hope your heads 🤕 feeling better lovely....

Sending you big love and plenty of healing cuddles dearest friend....pubaok.. yadimh.. lysvm.. awyis..sss..👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💜🤗...💜💜🤗🤗...and everyone....your in my 🌧..oops not that one 😁....☁️..Thats the right one...love you dearest friend..

Love and hugs everyone....💜💜🤗🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...💐🚌🍫🎯🐕🎂🐜💪🌲

[demonblaster]

Hey Grandy beautiful ☺and readers

Oh glad Ebony darlings back to herself the little pet.

Grandz I woke again with intense bang bang sheesh it's terrible. Like a hammer in your head. Base of my head yikes. Bit out of it today had lot of sleep y.day. How are you lovely?

Good thought hun but not sure cause one of the mornings I woke at mils same. This is 3rd morning. Other day it hung around but not bang bang.

I texted to cancel specials but they havent started the wkly yet and had nice time with mhw. We go to a lovely spot water trees Pelicans gorgeous or a drive around it was a chat day not shopping till next wk.

I feel a bit average heads in the background a bit. Thanks asking sweetyheart 💜

Hope you had a good day at 🎯 darlin. Glad for you it gets you out for a bit.

Lol the furs going across yikes be careful lovey. Good you rested up and darts stirs it. Bet you do a whopper stack of steps. Cool.

Thank you darlin for the healing cuddles ya sweety back at you dear friend. Love you a lot dear friend pubAok yadimh awyis bbff lysvm ssss

Thanks for popping in and your beautiful company and support ☺ mindspot rang but I was soon out so tomoz. Thanks Grandy being by me 🤗 and happy.

👩‍❤️‍👩💜👀👂🤝🐶🥕✨🎃🎯🤕☕🤗🗯

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi...

Im really sorry that your heads banging sweety...Plese just rest as much as you can...poor dear sissy👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🤗...💜.. Just curious darling if you ate different at all before headaches..Not long and MRI...hopefully they will be able to find out the cause of headache as well as twitches/jerks..How are they Deebi..have they eased at all?..sorry about so many questions..just concerned and care for you....

The place you go to with mhw sounds really peaceful..I’m pleased you have him to chat with....and I’m pleased today not a shopping day for you with ouchy head...I hope your little watery spot with trees and....oh wow..pelicans...they are a beautiful and big bird...I like their beaky pouch....awesome how some creatures are built...😁..

Yes it’s good to see Ebony running around and playing...Thank you for caring about them as well as me...You’re such a beautiful person...

I went to darts 🎯...it was okay...the other ladies were too much talk about other stuff...I don’t know about ..I felt left out..We started playing after an hour late...Geez not a fan of gossiping...

I hope you sleep nice and peaceful dearest bbff..pubaok..yadimh.. awyis..lysvm..sss..Please..be okay.💜👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💜...

Sissy’s stick together same as friends...always here for you when I can be...love you Deebi..💜🤗👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💐..

Love and hugs everyone...💜🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🚂🚌🦉🐕🎂☁️💼👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🍫🌲🥕👀🤕🔫...

[demonblaster]

Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 & readers ☺

Always so lovely seeing you darlin thank you very much for being such a great friend and soul sissy.

Yip just been taking it easy, didnt sarvo snooze so hopefully a good one tonight you too lovely 😚

Yes it's very beautiful here there are many incredible places you'd love it. People do.

Yes and I need to find my blood test request should be here somewhere just not sure where I put it. Blaghh big day. 3.5 ish hrs each way and the mri will be 2hrs.

Oh darl what a shame 🎯 was just ok. You're beautiful not into gossip. Does that nice new lady still go?

How are you doing Grandz are you sleeping ok and hows the body?

I had a lot of naughty sugar stuff at mils tho I've had terrible full blown migraines before but this neck head throbbing holy yikes rough

Grandy it's you we need to look after atm my love 🤗

Thanks sweetyheart always love you and🗯please ubAok awyis yadimh ssss bbff gg

👩‍❤️‍👩💜🎯✨🤝🦄🚜🛵⛅🔥💼🔑

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..and everyone🤗..

How are you feeling with your poor neck, headache, physical and mental health beautifulheart?..

I used to put things away in a safe place and kept loosing them...Now I keep all my test results in one of those plastic folder thingys that has plastic sheets in it to put papers in...Not sure if you know what I’m talking about...I hope so much you find yours lovely bbff...

I had my flu jab today..

Thats okay sweety with the yummies...I’m the same, I’ll binge eat 🍫 for comfort...

Im sleeping not to bad...

Is it Thursday you have your MRI.?...Its going to be a long day sweetyheart, I’ll be with you all the way..so if your in that tunnel thingy..just move over a little bit so I can fit in and I’ll be holding your hand very tightly but very gently with lots of my love and care..💜🤗..

Sleep all you need to sleep Deebi..it helps us so much to be mentally stronger as well as physically....

Please..you be always okay beautifulheart..I’m awyis..and yadimh..and so very much lysvm....💜👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

Love and hugs bbff and all...💜💜🤗🤗👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩....💐🦉🚂💼👀🤝👂....

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🤝🤝🤝👀👀👂👂🤝🤝🤝☁️