Reality check - Anxiety, Depression, PTSD

[Mathy]

Hi All, I live with PTSD, Anxiety and Depression. My PTSD is pretty good, but the other 2 monsters not so. Last year I had arrived at a point where I was medication free, happy and functioning well. Then moving house and an incident at work left me back in the hole again. The work incident was a combination of a complete restructure of my hours and change of leadership - too much change, not handled well. I got suspended, and the process wasn’t handled well, so I bailed out of work for 3 weeks. In 6 years I’ve had 11 managers and #12 arrived 6 months ago, along with a change of 2/3 under managers. New manager is ok (but clueless) and the 2 new “under managers” are inclined to be variously, aggressive, rude and sarcastic. I guess that’s the reality of the “fast paced” world of retai - ha!

Slowly, over the last 6 months I’ve struggled to go to work, get out of bed, lost motivation, and lost the enjoyment of playing my sport - which ironically is important for maintaining my mental health. Sport is golf - so, exercise, challenge, discipline and friendships. I’m single, so this is important to me.

2 weeks ago I ran myself through a checklist and realised that I was NOT travelling at all well, so I upped my ADs and made an appt with my Psych - which is in 3 weeks time. Last Friday I had an enormous panic attack, following a Thursday night at work with the least favourite of the under managers. I guess my mind has decided it’s had enough, I ended up in ER (I’m 61, so can’t assume not a heart attack). So, I now have an appt with GP tomorrow and a sick certificate until next Monday - and I feel like rubbish.

So, if someone says to you that your work rate is “not good enough, *insert my name*”, in front of others, it could be interpreted as a joke or not. I’ve worked for this business for over 9 years, I work my butt off, and I found this insulting, joke or not. What do others feel? If once a week/fortnight one consistently had this sort of, or sarcastic interactions what would you think/feel? I guess I’m trying to decide if I’m being overly sensitive and possibly unfair.

Thoughts would be much appreciated, cheers M 🙂

[Mathy]

OK, so I’ve been grumpy and pretty much absent for a while. I haven’t been physically 100% for a couple of months. I’ve had trouble with my hands, which I attributed to being an issue related to the work that I do. Anyways, the usual thing you do for soft tissue injuries haven’t been working, despite medical intervention. All of which contributed to me feeling fed up and very frustrated, as a) I can’t play golf and b) it’s difficult to work a physical job if it hurts.

So, I’ve just been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, and I’m trying to get my head around what this is going to mean for me, my job, my finances, my mental health and my golf 😞

Also, I can’t get a specialist appointment for 8 weeks - even if I go private #Great #SarcasmIntended.

Plus it’s 42C in Adelaide today and tomorrow - fortunately I got GP 2 give me 2 days off so I can get my head around all of this, which is gr8 because my workplace is a big tin shed, so at least I’m cool at home #winning!

So, I’ve had a cry and a coffee with my Ex, who’s best friend too, but my head is kind of whirling .....

sadly M 😞

[demonblaster]

Damn... sorry Maths that's hard

I know a chook who has RA & wow she was in such a bad way with it, saw her not so long ago and another medication and she's going great guns, completely different so therés hope Maths

Glad your X is a besty darl

Always here for you friend xx

[Mathy]

Thanks DB,

I’m not a candidate for long term chronic illness. I’m great at discipline with stuff I can work on. I know I’m not alright at popping pills on a schedule forever, and slowly giving up the things I do, and not being able to DIY around my home - that’s not me. I’m an active person who has already had things taken away, and I’ve got to wait 8 weeks before I can get some help. Stuff that.

Hugs to youse anyway

[BballJ]

Hi Mathy,

Sorry to read all of that, has the doctor given you any indication of when you will be able to resume the things you love, surely it cannot mean you cannot do any of them? Hopefully the specialist appointment comes around quite quick so you can put your mind at ease. At least you have the next two days off work, that is a bonue.

Is there anything we can do to help you at all?

My best,

Jay

[Mathy]

Thanks Jay - hugs to you 🙂

It’s a bit ridiculous that my own reply has yet to make it to this thread.

Obviously, I’m upset and quite down about this, but apparently the “sorting hat” has decided it’s not ok to post. Which on a forum for supporting people with MH issues is somewhat self defeating, I feel.

[blondguy]

Hi Mathy

These forums have given me my life back since I joined 2 years ago

They are also a rock solid and safe place for people to read or post

Please dont be judgemental about the forums. There is a dedicated team of full time staff and volunteers that take great pride (and many hours) to ensure a stable and non judgemental environment where people can post

My Kind thoughts

Paul

[BballJ]

Hi Mathy,

Sorry to hear that your post didn't make it to the forums, did they tell you why? I know it can be self deflating do you want to try re-post in another way?

My best,

Jay

[Sophie_M]

Hi Mathy, all posts received from you have now been published.  Our forums are moderated, as we explain in some detail here.  This space is not intended to be a real time chat environment.  We would ask that you please be patient with us, and if you have any questions about the moderation of your posts to speak with us offline rather than posting about it on the forums.  

Thanks for your understanding.

[demonblaster]

How many days I've been meaning to come and say Hi & hope you're ok, which I know you're not so stupid question 🙂

The great thing about forums is we're real people, can't say I'm feeling exactly real atm lol pretty whacked and imagine you are too, anyway back to point, when we support eachother like we have you get close, I do anyway I like connecting with people so just want you to know I am missing you around, the forums I've seen you put a lot of really good support to many, I'm slowly getting there maybe one day I can learn off you to get to the damn point quicker lol but in mania atm although fairly contained damn it so the chattyness extends more but all good, just put people to sleep, who needs meds aye.

I feel for how it is for you atm darl, it's all a shock to the system and takes time to sift through emotions, but you're a tough chook and you'll find a way through & don't forget about the chooky I was talking about above, I mean she was in deep hell, I learnt a lot about it and new meds and she's as happy and going great guns so slowly slowly mate, there's hope.

Could check into ways you still maybe able to play golf like if your hands are seizing up could thicken the hand grip, ok maybe not but if you get my gist, if not hun there's probs another sport that's more gentle on the bod, I know you played cricket so you're more an active sport type and alternatively you might find interest in something else completely different to sport like walking or being in water that's more gentle on the bod anyway I'll shut it before you tell me too 🙂

As you know when we care about people we don't wanna see them low, so lean on me hun as much as you need ok, always here for ya
Hope you do come back soon-ish if nothing else to release how you're feeling. Rough ride.

One more thing though Maths and I totally hear you about meds, by taking them they could give you your life back to do what you do.

Go easy mate
Care (( souls ))