Reality check - Anxiety, Depression, PTSD

[Mathy]

Hi All, I live with PTSD, Anxiety and Depression. My PTSD is pretty good, but the other 2 monsters not so. Last year I had arrived at a point where I was medication free, happy and functioning well. Then moving house and an incident at work left me back in the hole again. The work incident was a combination of a complete restructure of my hours and change of leadership - too much change, not handled well. I got suspended, and the process wasn’t handled well, so I bailed out of work for 3 weeks. In 6 years I’ve had 11 managers and #12 arrived 6 months ago, along with a change of 2/3 under managers. New manager is ok (but clueless) and the 2 new “under managers” are inclined to be variously, aggressive, rude and sarcastic. I guess that’s the reality of the “fast paced” world of retai - ha!

Slowly, over the last 6 months I’ve struggled to go to work, get out of bed, lost motivation, and lost the enjoyment of playing my sport - which ironically is important for maintaining my mental health. Sport is golf - so, exercise, challenge, discipline and friendships. I’m single, so this is important to me.

2 weeks ago I ran myself through a checklist and realised that I was NOT travelling at all well, so I upped my ADs and made an appt with my Psych - which is in 3 weeks time. Last Friday I had an enormous panic attack, following a Thursday night at work with the least favourite of the under managers. I guess my mind has decided it’s had enough, I ended up in ER (I’m 61, so can’t assume not a heart attack). So, I now have an appt with GP tomorrow and a sick certificate until next Monday - and I feel like rubbish.

So, if someone says to you that your work rate is “not good enough, *insert my name*”, in front of others, it could be interpreted as a joke or not. I’ve worked for this business for over 9 years, I work my butt off, and I found this insulting, joke or not. What do others feel? If once a week/fortnight one consistently had this sort of, or sarcastic interactions what would you think/feel? I guess I’m trying to decide if I’m being overly sensitive and possibly unfair.

Thoughts would be much appreciated, cheers M 🙂

[Mathy]

Hi Jay,

Having read this workbook on Schema therapy and how the various Schema work/don’t work, I can see why a lot of my non PTSD related anxiety exists.

I’m seeing my psychologist early in the New Year, and I have some time off during the Xmas break to put some thoughts down, as she asked me to do that. I’m feeling very apprehensive, but I will keep the appointment and write my fears/thoughts down and take them with me.

Jay, I wish you a very happy festive season, and that it is all you’d like it to be, and thank you for your support in the time that I’ve been a member here on BB, all the best, cheers M 🙂

[demonblaster]

That was good opening up like you did Maths, being scared's normal I think especially visiting painful places and it sounds as though as a result you may benefit

Schema therapy sounds interesting if you want to talk about it Anything you want to talk about for that matter

Avoidance a coping system, when you're ready Maths. You're aware proactive & strong
Holding your hand too.
I feel you'll find peace

Maths you're great here, I've seen and received a lot of your supportive posts. Thanks chooky

Happies wished for you all the time.....except of course when we do yaz in Cricket

[demonblaster]

Maths soz hun thought I'd wished you a happy Xmas & New Year.
Want to thank you for being there for me & others

You make a real difference chooks, very appreciated

Hope you're enjoying your time & that life's becoming easier for you

Rate ya 🙂

[Mathy]

Hey DB,

Thanks for the wishes, and sending you a Happy, prosperous and healthy 2018, may it be all that you wish it to be, cheers M 🙂 xx

[BballJ]

Hi Mathy,

I am sorry about the delay in my posts, I had taken a break from the forums, how have you been and how was your Christmas & New Year?

My best,

Jay

[Mathy]

Hi Jay,

Thanks for your good thoughts and wishing you all the best for 2018. I’ve taken a bit of a break from the forums as well, bestest M 🙂

[Mathy]

So, we have yet another teenager who has taken their own life due to bullying. This lass was from the NT. The last young teenager was a girl from my home state (SA).

I’m distraught beyond words about this. I feel for the parents that lost a child. Then I’m wondering about the parents who raise children that can make someone in their peer group feel so bad, they don’t want to live anymore at the age of 14. Seriously?

I’m distraught because I know what that level of bullying is like as a teenage girl at high school. But I had the luck of having to deal with a mother who was probs worse than whatever the kids could dish out, plus, when I was a teenager, social media didn’t exist - and that seems to be the major inflator of bullying for kids at school.

Words absolutely fail me. #StopBullyingNow.

[demonblaster]

Its just bloody wrong isnt it Maths, how so very sad, poor darling.

Maths I'm so sorry to hear you suffered this cruelty too & had worse at home. How awful. What a strong amazing lovely person you turned out to be.

Thanks for being you 🤗 xx

[Just Sara]

Dear Mathy;

Your heartfelt post above really got to me; bullying's an issue that affects us all. I want to thank you for opening your heart on the forum about those we don't know, but feel for all the same.

Due to your passion, I decided to create a new thread; #StopBullyingNow! I really hope you don't mind. It's in no way aimed at taking something from you ok. I just wanted to encourage discussion on this very important topic.

If you'd like to take the new thread on or have it deleted to start your own, please let me know. I should've asked you first...sorry.

Again, I'm grateful for your caring and compassion. Thankyou for being here..

Sez

[Mathy]

Hi Sez,

I’m glad that you’ve taken the initiative on this, thank you for starting that thread.

It’s just an appalling situation, cheers M :)