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Not in a good space

Katyonthehamsterwheel
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor
It's like a feeling just bubbling up to the surface. It's panicky and disgusting and I dont' know what to do with it. There's no thoughts associated with it. It's a feeling. A really gross one. I called the Suicide Call Back service. I didn't find them helpful. What do you do? What helps you?
1,405 Replies 1,405

Katyonthehamsterwheel
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor
Today did not go well. I cried during supervision. I cried some more. I packed my stuff up and said I think I should just quit now. She told me to stay. I did. But I just feel like there’s too many hoops and I can’t keep jumping. Next week a nice big meeting to give me more hoops. The meeting itself is a massive hoop, in the sky, on fire. I come home and wish I was dead.

Hi Katyonthehamsterwheel,

We are sorry to hear that today was so difficult and that you feel there are so many hoops at the moment. It really does sound like it was such an overwhelming and stressful supervision session. Please know that we are always here for you, and support is available. 

If you would like to talk to someone, the Beyond Blue Support Service is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals.

Please feel free to keep reaching out here on your thread whenever you feel up to it.

Hi Katy it sounds like u just wanted to get out of there and it was all just too much. I'm so sorry it was awful and sometimes wephen we get home it all hits us. Please take care fo your self, gentle girl, it sounds like a hard time, but that's not you...sending hugs

Hey Katy

That would have been horrible for you...If you want to talk I am more than willing to help

Your well being is paramount.....all other considerations are secondary

Bearhug (if thats okay).............Paul

Hello Katy,

Oh lass... I'm so sorry the meeting left you feeling so bad... I'm here if you want to chat...

Build yourself a pillow fort & retreat there with a cuppa & your furs for the rest of today & if it feels right spend the night there... whatever will help you settle your frayed nerves...

Sending you a big comforting hug

Paws

Hi Katy

Was this the meeting or at prac? Is the big meeting with something like an academic standards committee or your department head? Sorry I'm just not clear.

Whatever, it's clearly overwhelming you at the moment.

Take some time out for you. Pamper yourself, stay in bed or take Stormy to the beach, whatever. You need to recover a bit before you do or think about anything else.

We're all here if/when you want to talk about it.

You will get through this.

Hugs from me and little Sam 🐥🐳🐚🐕🧚‍♂️🍧🍰🏖🎠🌄🌉🛶

So i think we need to do some exercises together... I am sitting here staring at my work trying to get it done before another big meeting on monday. So katy, we're in the same boat, that's in the sky, that's on fire, and we're expected to learn how to row the boat, using teaspoons and a lamp. 🙂

At the moment, we're both focusing on the supervision part of it. But i didnt get into the job (academia) with the intention of having great times in supervisory meetings... its the work i do. I want to do the work that i do. Both of us were hired ased on our skills, experience, and something that our supervisor saw in us that they liked. So for today, JUST TODAY (because I cant look too far into the future without freaking out), we focus on why we're doing these jobs. The people we help. And the way to help people is do our job. When we get stuck we ask for assistance. Then we learn. Then we do it a bit better the next day.

So today, I am going to write my results section. I will stop to put some things together for the house because we just moved and the boxed up furniture is annoying me. Then I will enjoy some of the weather and think about what I would like to achieve in this role. Because i really do want to achieve lots, i just dont give myself any credit. like none. But like i said, someone saw potential and skill. So i need to learn to see it as well.

I will keep this thread open all day. So feel free to reply and we'll make it through.

J xo

It was a decent day. But waking up this morning felt like o had to start again... However, I came back on here and re read everyone's notes, including my own, and I felt like I was able to get started with my day a lot faster. And I guess that's the point, practice little things and eventually those little things become part of bigger things. 😊

Hey Jack,

That's great that you were able to acknowledge how you were feeling and that you found a way to overcome it differently. I'm glad that you are finding posts quite useful and that they helped you to gain that motivation to start your day on a better note. I believe setting the tone at the start of the day can affect how productive you are during the day. I personally like to go for a walk or exercise in the morning which allows me to feel more positive throughout the day and helps me accomplish more tasks. I agree with you that maybe practicing some small beneficial habits everyday can eventually lead you to affecting bigger parts of your life.

Hi everyone

JackFrost lovely to see your posts here. Sorry to have not responded. I’m down with a migraine (not surprised after all the stress). But I’m glad to see you’re finding it helpful to be here.

I’ll pop back when my head’s better x