Not in a good space

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

It's like a feeling just bubbling up to the surface. It's panicky and disgusting and I dont' know what to do with it. There's no thoughts associated with it. It's a feeling. A really gross one. I called the Suicide Call Back service. I didn't find them helpful. What do you do? What helps you?

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy

So.. If I have this right, the prac people are OK with how you're going but the university academic people are less pleased? Are they still considering what they will decide?

If they say no, you would have significant credit towards another course with what you've already passed at a high level.

Don't discount the value of what you've done. What about another degree or qualification?

A huge amount of credit would be allocated to you.

Maybe talk to an academic counsellor/adviser?

All is not lost. I'd try to find another way if you have to. You know you have the ability and life experience to be a valuable person in the right job!

Hang in there 👍💖

[Hanna3]

You will find a role that is right for you. Maybe in one way this can become an important part of finding what that will be?

It's a bummer and seeing someone else offered a job makes you feel rotten, I get that for sure!

But who knows what the future holds? Maybe you can find a way to turn this into an opportunity even though it wasn't what you wanted.

Meantime it's perfectly understandable to feel utterly lousy.

I'd try an academic advisor.

You go girl! 🙂

[Hanna3]

What sort of roles do you think would suit you Katy, given the anxiety has to be taken into account? You also have considerable life experiences and academic skills to bring to whatever role you choose.

Give yourself time to feel lousy and then let's see how you can turn this into a positive.

You know we have faith in you. 🧚‍♂️🐳🦜

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Thanks for your kind words Grandy. You’re right, it’s not good comparing. I can only be me so I just have to be content with that, and with doing my best. Hugs to you x

Hanna, it was suggested I switch over to a bachelor of social science. It’s only 3 years (my degree is four), and has less of a prac requirement. I’ve already done more hours than they require, so would probably be transferable. I declined at the time but it’s still an option if they don’t pass me. I have my progress meeting on the 1st October so will see what they say.

As for what type of role would be suitable- the biggest challenge is flexibility. How many roles are there were you can just go in on the days where anxiety isn’t eating you alive? Or go home when it is? I don’t know of any. If there were - I’d like a role that’s task oriented. Small talk trips me up. Well actually, most talking does, but I could probably get through it if it’s not the central focus.

Funny - my supervisor last year advised me to go have a chat with the professor about what roles I could do in the field, given my anxiety. But because it involved having a conversation, I was too anxious to do it lol

I do wish I could find somewhere I fit. I never feel like I fit anywhere.

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy

A Bachelor of social science sounds like a real option for you.

There was a new post here the other day where the person was describing their absolutely debilitating anxiety and it made me realise just what you and my music friend go through.

The tenancy advocate here who helped me found that work which was mostly done by phone/computer was what suited her best.

I wonder how much the people you'd be working with will make a difference to you too. G could barely speak when I started with him and now I can hardly shut him up!

So feeling secure and not criticized is another factor I guess.

Any thoughts on what you think you can manage? Would part time work be more manageable?

Are you better with men or women or young people or older people?

People with mental health issues?

Lots of things to think about!

You'll get there. 🐕🧚‍♂️🐦

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hello

Yes, there’s different levels of anxiety, and different triggering events for people, but mine is really debilitating. It sounds like your friend’s is too. But, likewise, once I’m comfortable with someone I’m fine (mostly!).

If i read the same post on here as you, the poster was uncomfortable talking over the phone. Me too. Complicates matters further. And then there’s the fact that sometimes I can manage things, and other times I can’t!

But you’ve hit the nail on the head - a safe, non- judgemental space makes a heck of a difference. My work (prac) team are very accommodating, so if I cry, don’t come in, leave, step out for five, or plain say “I can’t do that” - they just accept it. But also, they’re not paying me. So there’s a difference.

Well, I have a new uni supervisor to meet tomorrow. I’m hopeful it will go ok. Do stay safe over there, won’t you x

[Guest_1643]

Hi lovely, I feel for u, and can see how hard it is to have to explain and find space for urself in the University. How are you feeling today? Sounds very stressful. I was wandering if any of the supervisors or heads have been okay? I had a lot of bullying when I was at uni. It hurt and made the whole thing terrifying. Hugs from me x

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy

I just wrote you a long reply and gremlins ate it.

Good luck with the supervisor let us know how you go 💕👍

[Paw Prints]

Hello Katy,

I hope your meeting went well lass...

I've been trying to think of some ideas for (paying) roles you might be comfortable with... I wonder if you might consider doing research in your field... that could be something that you could work around your needs... another thought is working on designing/evaluating mh systems for companies/charities/homes etc...a lot of them outsource these things... another option is getting assistance to find work that is flexible enough for you to cope with... my niece has health + mh issues & she had help from a charity group to find paid work that suited her needs in the field she got her degree in... perhaps speaking to some of your local charities they may be able to help you find something... I'm sure there are other options out there lass... let worrying about work options for when you are ready to start looking (I know easier said than done)... you have more than enough on your plate as is...

Big hugs

Paws

[JackFrost]

THIS IS EXACTLY ME RIGHT NOW!

Had a 'quick chat' with my supervisor (via zoom, urgh) who is upset about one aspect of my role not meeting expectations. Naturally, I completely broke down during the meeting and thereafter. My ADHD has a very strong RSD component (rejection sensitive dysphoria), which means even the slightest problem gets blown out of proportion. So this was basically the end of the world (in my head).

Thankfully, I am aware of this element of my brain and am currently researching ways to move passed the intrusive thoughts.But, alas, I needed to come here first because it got very dark very quickly. There is a lot to live for, but the thoughts have their own agenda and it is really hard to dismiss them at time like this. So I'm here and finding this specific post, is rather serendipidous.

I know it was a while ago, but just know that your little post has done me a world of wonders today. Thanks Katy.