Not in a good space

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

It's like a feeling just bubbling up to the surface. It's panicky and disgusting and I dont' know what to do with it. There's no thoughts associated with it. It's a feeling. A really gross one. I called the Suicide Call Back service. I didn't find them helpful. What do you do? What helps you?

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi all

Enjoying my book but today feels lonely. Some days are like that. I think the weather doesn’t help. It’s been miserable for ages, which is unusual, and the forecast is just rain rain rain ☔️

I talked to my son for an hour on the phone, and two friends messaged for a text chat which was nice, but I still feel lonely. I wish i was like you Paws, happy living alone.

I might go to the soup van and skip cooking. My kitchen is a disaster anyway as usual. Mmmm soup!

Hugs to all x

[Hanna3]

Hi. Katy

It's lonely here too in this bleak weather! Did you get to the soup van?

Glad the book is turning out OK. I'm reading Killing Sydney by Eizabeth Farelly and it's good but horrifying about the corruption in the city real estate.

Guess I'll take Sam for another walk today.. I miss having my laptop.. I was listening to some good talks. Rats.

Hope we both manage to have an OK day. Pats to Stormy 💕⛄🙂🐕🐾☔

[ecomama]

Hey Katy and Hanna, Paws, Sleepy and everyone else,

Big hugs! Well done you for contacting the Uni and contacting the next dept after you contacted the first one too (omg hate that lol), YOU DID IT!
And the Uni responded appropriately too, so wow, well done.

I read back from when I posted last to catch up, lots happening in your worlds.
Lots to manage.

I found it really interesting that GROW could be a 12 Step Program. The steps are the same and do take a while to understand. I attended lots of them whilst I was married to H no 2.
For a partner I found the Program not helpful at all. (Maybe I was too resentful 30y ago lol)
For a sufferer I found it awesome!

"One day at a time" seems apt right now. When a whole day is too much, 10 mins at a time is fine. Make a cuppa in 10 mins. Go to the loo in 10 mins. Put hand cream on in 10 mins. 10 mins is far more manageable!

Alexa's friend runs an International NA 12 Step Program online with their permission.
He actually did an "Intervention" with Alexa just at the right time for our relationship, Thank God.
With no experience of the 12 Step Programs, she found it so helpful that night.
I'm so grateful.

You can get back to GROW when your capacity allows, no biggie.

I just wanted to share a tad of Brene Brown's words with you right now... heavily paraphrased lol... 'When you choose to live in the arena, you WILL fail. Not might fail, you WILL fail. Then when you do fail and fall to the bottom of the pit, wipe the sweat and tears from your eyes and have a look around. Around you, you'll see all the other people BRAVE enough to live in the arena also. Then we pick ourselves up and find the courage to do it all over again'.
Great achievements involve failures.

You're a great achiever.

EVERYONE needs a break every now and then Katy. When we're running on an empty tank, there's nothing left for us to use, so break time it is.
Happy you got a book to read!

Strange how the weather can reflect our moods!
When I'm feeling good, rain is happy, even welcomed.... when I'm feeling low it makes me feel lower - I try to remember how I feel about the weather when I AM happier and catch those thoughts. Or ignore the weather if I'm not up to it lol.

Today we have a brilliant day after LOTS of rainy, freezing cold and very windy days.
I'd had enough last night. It was too darned cold.

Talk soon!
Love EMxxxx

[ecomama]

Hey Paws!

Lol just in reference to feeding our dog eggs hahaha... he always does stinkies, regardless of what we feed him.

He arrived with major anxieties of all sorts (being a rescue).
Now finally after 4 years of comforting him in any way we can, when we're home, including Yvette carrying him around like a koala baby and him having ANY bed he wants to sleep on.... he finally does some of his doggies do dos in the garden.
He's sitting right next to me on the balcony lounge right now, thank goodness he can't read!

Hugs to all fur babies
Aunty EM - hahaha just like in the Wizard of Oz!

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hello

Sounds like an interesting read, Hanna. I’m halfway through my book. Although, the honours group chat is going off - everyone is panicking there’s not much time left, and I’m yet to even look at mine. Eeek. It will have to wait - I’m on a space adventure 🚀

EM, thankyou for your insightful and kind post. I shall rest here in the pit, with full intention of getting back in the arena once I’ve caught my breath. Feeling a bit better already today just knowing I have breathing space. Which, yes, meant not minding the rain today - I even stood outside for awhile and watched it.

Random question if anyone knows the answer - can you eat pea pods? The internet seems none the wiser and I’ve no idea what I’ve planted, just snow peas and pod peas. They’re not thick and stringy though so I’m wondering if they can be eaten whole?

OK, back to my book !

Hugs to all, including farty nervous dogs x

[ecomama]

Hey Katy if you can see this post from space lol.

I'm not sure if you can eat the pea pods you have there, not sure of the variety etc, but we've always used them here. When you de-string them and slice them up across ways, they're really tasty in soups. Some are really nice in salads too. I actually prefer eating the pods to eating peas! Lol.

I'm all for any extra green and roughage in soups to help fill the belly up.

Have you tried putting dried Barley in a minestrone type soup or vege soup?
I put barley in every soup except pumpkin or potato soups lol.
I love the texture of it, all chewy, and the fill factor is right up there.

Great you've got the mental break you need, that's awesome!

Love EMxxxx

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hello

Funny you should mention minestrone as I bought ingredients to make it today. The recipe called for pork bones but I’m budgeting so hopefully it’s still flavourful without them. Freezing and rainy here today, so I’m looking forward to it ♥️

Katy

[Hanna3]

Hi. Katy and Em and everyone

Just a quick hello my eyes are tired. Hope you're going OK today Katy and I imagine the yukky weather can't be helpful. Keep warm and snug. ☔🎿🍵🧤🧥🧦🏂💟

[Guest_1643]

I eat them! If that helps. I'm still alive, but i'm not sure if you're meant to!

How are u doing Katy and all? much love

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi all

Well I stuffed up my minestrone! Forgot that the dried legumes needed soaking, so it was just tomato veg soup but really yum anyway. Lots of leftovers for the freezer. I’ll have to see what else I can make cheap and freeze for when things go pear shaped again lol

I’m just watching the news. SA also going into lockdown. This new strain seems incredibly virulent. Hope they get it sorted out. Did you manage to get your second shot, Hanna?

Well, it came up on my fb memories that I started uni 5 years ago. While I’m facing the possibility of not finishing, It’s amazing what’s happened in that time and I’ve managed to keep going and do more than ok anyway. That’s something. Time to add some more notes to my positivity jar, I think 🙂

Hugs all xo

Ps: Sleepy I’m not sure I’m up for Russian roulette with pea pods! Lol x