Not in a good space

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

It's like a feeling just bubbling up to the surface. It's panicky and disgusting and I dont' know what to do with it. There's no thoughts associated with it. It's a feeling. A really gross one. I called the Suicide Call Back service. I didn't find them helpful. What do you do? What helps you?

[Guest_4643]

hiya everyone.

Simon - that's nice of you to say all of that. your day sounded fun, Geelong sounds scary but the lovely beaches and whatnot sound nice. maybe it's a bit of a nice place, I've never been there. I'm glad you had a nice day, and your dinner sounds lovely, I've never tried a beer cooked chook before haha! (love how that rhymes). I hope you're alright.

Katy - wow I'm so sorry to hear that you got caught in a rip. I'm glad you're still here! just like you Simon and everyone else. supermarket pizza can be nice sometimes haha. sounds like your day was alright too.

hope everyone is OK x

love,

Tayla xo

[Junior412]

Hi Taylor and Katy,

Nice to hear from you both. Sorry I didn’t touch base last night, I was in bed early as I was up at 3:30am for work. I assume Katy is from Perth and I’m not sure where you are Tayla, but Geelong is a big City (second to Melbourne) but the waterfront is quiet and peaceful away from the busy part of town. Very peaceful place which gave me a chance to exercise and collect my thoughts.

The beer chook was nice, made my own home made baste and you shove a can of beer into the chook to baste the insides. In the BBQ for a couple of hours and the beer kept everything moist.

You wonderful people give me strength, and I love hearing from you. It’s great how we can be here for each other. You have my full support.

Hopefully everyone is having a good Oz Day, what did everyone get up to? I finished at midday and took it easy, didn’t sleep well again last night Going for a walk to clear the mind soon

Perth is a great place, love visiting there even though it’s so far away. I’m visiting there for a week in the end of March.

Thanks for the kisses Tayla, some back and hugs for you all. You’re a very special group of people.

Simon

[Junior412]

Sorry Tayla auto correct put you as Taylor...

[Guest_4643]

hey Simon.

thank you, nice to hear from you and everybody else here too. and no worries about the late replies, I hope you're alright and taking care of yourself too.

I'm in a town in Regional Victoria. It's got some lakes and nice birds and it's quiet but thats all I like about it. I'm so isolated. I go for a few walks every day though. can't get anything here - no jobs, no work experience/volunteering, can't join any groups, nothing. I've tried everything. I give up.

that's good that Geelong was nice and your beer chook was good, perhaps I'll have to try it one day. I'd like to learn how to cook.

once again thank you for your kind words. I really need it right now because I'm quite depressed, heart broken and in a dark place. I read my report and referral to the local hospital from my Psychiatrist (I do this through Skype and he puts the files up so I can see them on the website). my Doctor doesn't care anymore, about me at all. my Psychiatrist is great and he's never told me he doesn't want to work with me any more but me being the way I am, I'm starting to think that. I just want to do something stupid and burst into tears. he probably just wants to help me himself and have others help but I'm so damn depressed. I can't describe it, I just feel numb and like I want to hurt myself. I can't control these thoughts. I'm so sorry for venting.

I'd love to travel around Australia one day. never been to Perth, not that I know of anyway. for Oz Day, we had a family friend over (my parents friends', Dad's friend mostly) and he was supposed to leave today but he left last night. we went out for pizza for lunch the day he got here and to a cafe for lunch for Oz Day, the usual places we go to. it was alright. other than that, nothing, we had some Lamb Chops on the barbie but I didn't feel like eating so I didn't have any.

your words mean a lot to me and I feel the same way about you and everybody here, so thank you very much. hugs back to all of you and love. you're all very special to me too.

take care everyone.

Tayla x

[Guest_4643]

no problem Simon, it happens so I understand. I'm using a laptop right now but at night I use my iPad, have to go onto Facebook and use the links there because it won't work for some reason on the normal internet on my iPad, on Safari. like the BB website works but when I click log in and put in everything correct it does nothing?

Tayla

[Junior412]

Nice to hear from you Tayla,

I’m sorry to hear of your struggles and your loneliness. We’ve all been there, and as we have all discovered, this forum has been a shining light in and otherwise dark existence.

On my good days I travel a bit, I love to visit quieter less touristy places where I can pursue my interests in photography.

What sort of work are you interested in looking for? What voluntary work would you like to do? I’ve volunteered for a while and enjoy putting something back into the community.

We’re always here for you, I get as much out of hearing from you all as I do contributing to this forum. I’m no expert, but having experiencing the ups and downs of depression and anxiety I hope my experiences can help others.

Hugs,

Simon

[Guest_4643]

hey Simon, thanks for replying again.

thank you, I'm sorry everyone here is struggling also. photography is great and it's something I'd like to learn aswell actually. not sure how to start or anything though.

I don't know what I'd like to do as a career. maybe try and be a waitress? I have no skills in that though and it's hard to get hired anywhere let alone in places like that. in high school I did volunteer work at aged care for 2 years and I loved it. but I'm not sure if I'd do that as a career choice because it's a bit triggering and depressing for me, without being harsh. that's because my Grandparents passed away years ago. but everyone was lovely, the elderly and the staff. it was wonderful being there to help them (well in ways we could like playing games etc. we couldn't do certain things like help them out of chairs but that's totally understandable).

other than that, I don't know. I can't seem to find any interests. I have no motivation with anything even cleaning which is wrong I know. I tell myself I need to push myself to do things but I'm in a constant battle of no motivation and other things, sigh.

take care and hugs back,

Tayla x

[Junior412]

Hi Tayla, Katy and all

Hope all had a good day. Just thought I’d touch base with all before I settle to bed for hopefully a sound nights sleep (doubt it will happen).

Katy I hope you are going ok. You’ve been quiet but I understand if you’re busy. We all get that way. You’re in my thoughts, and if there’s anything I can do to support you, I’m only a message away. Never think anything is trivial enough to keep from us if you’re in a moment of need.

Tayla, based on the words we shared today, I wish I could reach out to you more. Along with what I said to Katy, no matter how bad you think things are going, I’m here for you girl.

Unfortunately our hands are bound if we want to help each other externally to this forum, but I’m here for you all.

Hugs to everyone here if they still want them,

I’m always here

Simon

[Guest_4643]

hey Simon, thanks for replying again. and thanks for your mind words, they mean a lot just like everything nice anyone has ever said to me on these forums.

I wish I could reach out to everyone else here too, and yes I tried to say something about my location and stuff, but I understand. I wish there was some way to communicate besides these forums with everyone but hey at least we have these. it's probably better moderated in a way if you think about it.

thank you for saying you're always here for me and for the hugs, I'm always here for everybody aswell, and yes the hugs would be lovely so I'll gladly accept them, thanks again. if only we could help each other in person too.

I feel like the youngest here but I've seen a couple of young people on here, some I've replied to, some I'll have to have a look and read their posts. but it's lovely talking to you and others. I'm always here for everyone too, thank you again for your help.

I'm quite scared right now, and anxious. I hope you and everyone else is alright though, everyone is more important and deserving of support and help than I am, believe me.

Tayla x

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi all on my little thread 🙂

Just a quick check in. I woke up this morning in tears, having dreamt of my ex. I decided to take Andrew's advice and do some work on helping myself feel better. I did some nice things I enjoy, exercised, listened to some music, focused on the positives, and had a pretty good day.

Hugs, Katy