Hi all,
Katy, I'm sorry you're having flashbacks and sleepless nights accompanied by nightmares. I too have been diagnosed with PTSD. Before I did, I thought only soldiers at the battle front were diagnosed with it. My wonderful psych soon corrected me on that theory.
One of the things I'm dealing with, is many years ago I was physically and verbally abused as a child by my father. For no reason he'd come home and bash the living suitcase out of me, and many times I'd bear the brunt to protect my little sister. When I left school and found work (which I still am working for the same employer many years later), his words when he pinned me down are still well and truly ingrained in my mind - "you'll always be a nobody." Every time I progress through the ranks in my job, I should feel proud of what I've achieved, but my mind still goes back to that moment he pinned me down on the floor and screamed out those words. I still smell his breath and see his eyes searing through me. So yes Katy and Tayla I well and truly hear what you say. That's what's also keeping me awake at night as well. The sweat and tossing and turning during the night and the headaches I wake up with are a constant legacy of my struggle that I feel I now share with you guys.
I know it's hard to pick up from that, but as we've grown to know each other, hopefully we realise that we are a special group of people, who if we can't receive immediate professional help can come here for a source of comfort and healing. I can't reinforce enough of that importance. We are here for each other.
Hugs to you all, if we ever met I think we'd hug so tight that we'd never let go. Like the rest of you I could really go one right now.
Love and hugs to you all.
Simon
