Dear Katy~
I've gone to a fair number of threads recently and seen the for sale sign, I've learned this marks a post with empathy and common sense.
Your ex BF has injured you -with malice - and like so many of us we blame ourselves for being injured.
So I'll go along with your feeling sad, to have one's hopes dashed in that particular way is a cause for grief, natural, but not down to you. The right words casually said to someone who is vulnerable for them is cruel.
Turning round and blaming you -"I left xxxx for you" is a typical way of getting out of responsibility -and control.
The usual crap about 'old together, a baby to have together', etc are words to entice and control too.
Then the appeal stops, control has been established so on to the next unfortunate person, with as I say a twist to make it your responsibility.
Having an anxiety condition is not a bar to deep and joyous relationships. I've PTSD, bouts of depression and constant anxiety, yet I married 20+ years ago, I did not even have a job, and we are still together, still in love. My partner supports me, gives me perspective, and I think I support her too.
If we are going to talk dumb, it is he who qualifies, not you. Throwing away a rich and loving relationship, unable to participate. If it was not for the cruelty I'd feel sorry for him
Useless? We've covered that, your posts are anything but useless, they really do help others, and that is not confined to those you are posting to, but the vast majority you never know are there (except by web stats) as they read but do not post.
What can you do? I don't know specificaly, but try for something each day you can look forward to and enjoy. I use books, different half-read books for different situations, all remove me from the now and its hassles and hurts.
So suggestions?
You are valued and respected here, and I suspect that can be/is the case in the outside world
Croix
