Not coping after disclosure

[startingnew]

Please help me. Im really struggling.

last night i disclosed something that ive kept with me for 2 years now. Im already struggling with ptsd anxiety and depression but the event that i disclosed also comes under ptsd.

I rang a hotline and the first time in 2 years ive spoken about it and im so embarrassed and ashamed. I hate myself and blame myelf for it. And im terriffied! !

[Peppermintbach]

Hi darling Butterfly Wings and all your lovely supporters,

Yes, that makes sense about not wanting to risk complications. Hopefully, the hospital gets back to you soon...

You sound uncertain about what you did work-wise. Is everything okay?

Thank you for reading along my thread. Your presence and caring means a lot. I feel perhaps just take your time with posts there...I know you’ve a lot going on. Gentle and easy does it...there’s no rush...

I hope you get a chance to go for a walk today, and that you will see your willy wagtails 😉 Your love, hugs and butterflies are gratefully and lovingly cherished. Thank you, Little Wings 🙂

Much love and gentle hugs...

Pepper xoxox

[Ggrand]

Hello little butterfly,

I love that you have Willy wagtails around you, they are so cute and keep me fascinated by the way they seem to hover while looking for hugs to eat.and the brilliant blue reminds me of your beautiful avatar butterfly...and you...

I hope your doing okay and managed to go for a walk today, although not sure where you are, but it’s really cold here, with very cold winds,, I’m staying rugged up inside today...

Hows your crotchet (probably spelt wrong, it’s one word I cannot remember how to spell) Going, i hope you still enjoy doing it...

I hope your feeling okay and your teeth aren’t giving you too much pain... I think it’s a good idea to be asleep when they do the extractions and all at once, that way it’s all over and done with only once and you can heal and not worry about having to do another extraction...

Thankyou for your kindness is offering your thread as a safe place to talk, I do appreciate that so very much...

Love and hugs..💜🤗...

Grandy...

[startingnew]

thank you GG and Peps for your msgs

having a horrid time mentally atm so not alot to say except thank you. havent slept in 2 days and has been really busy plus busy upcoming days as well so the world is being rather cruel atm.

thank you both, as your posts are always much appreciated

sending much love, hugs and butterfly wishes

xoxoxoxox

[Peppermintbach]

Hi darling Butterfly Wings (and a gentle wave to all),

Oh no, 2 sleepless nights is horrible. Sigh, a lack of sleep can have such an all encompassing impact on a person...I feel for you...

Things sound particularly rough for you, and you sound exhausted...even more than usual...

You don’t have to say anything if you’re not feeling up to it...how about I just sit by your side, drape a warm blanket over you and let you rest. Gentle and easy does it...big sis here is keeping you company...

Much love, as always, and countless comforting hugs...

“Dusk till dawn”

Pepper xoxox

[demonblaster]

Dear SLD 🤗

Ahh thats really rough not sleeping and over 2 nights it makes life that much harder.

Sorry you're struggling lovey and the teeth business being delayed.

Always keeping an 👁on you our darling little winged friend, was thinking of you other day still got my butterfly necklace 🤗

Hold on sweety your body will let you sleep sometime soon I'm hoping

🦋❤💙💗🤝

[Ggrand]

Hello little butterfly,

Im sorry that you haven’t slept in two days, it really drains our strength, health and thoughts nd it gets so hard to function properly throughout the day...

Please darling, try as hard as you can to look after you..Take some time out of each day to pamper yourself in a little sunshine 13 minutes and 48sec... if you stay in the sun that long your body should have absorbed enough sun to help you sleep....

I agree with our lovely Deebi, when your body has had enough of no sleep, it will give in then...Sleep will come, just continue to lay down and rest with your eyes closed,mi think Deebi said that we can micro sleep without even realising it...

I hope your teeth and infections are okay and not causing you any pain...

Good Night Little butterfly...

Love and hugs..🤗💜..

Grandy..

[startingnew]

Hi Peps, SL, Grandy, and all reading.

Thank you all for your msgs, I really was hoping to be ok again after a day or so and I didnt want to burden anyone here not did I want to be negative, so instead I went into 'hiding'.. I dont know whats gotten into me but my mental health has really gone all over the place, its also put me back into the 'danger' zone so have had to pull out my safety plan and use it. It is exhausting.


Im still not sleeping all that well, though an hr or so here and there is better than nothing... I seem to get abit tired in the day then im up all hrs of the night even when ive tired myself out as ive
increased my work a lot more-i know im not suppose to be I can manage at home at the moment.

I havent heard back from the hospital as yet for dental work, hopefully soon as its still and will continue to cause pain (toothache, headaches, neck pain and swelling) until its sorted out.


I have been studying where I can and I have an assignment due to be completed by next wednesday but will do that abit later in the week after some revision. Im volunterring most of sunday even though I had asked for a day off- it was my one birthday wish 😕 but all well, im helping fundraise at a bbq for my sisters sporting club.


I have been doing a very small amount of crochetting but ive even lost the joy for that lately esp since my aunt was extremely fussy and had to restart the same thing 4 times and now I cant get the colour changes right nor can I get anyone to show me how to do it properly either. Its making it rather frustrating.
Everything really just seems to be to hard lately, I was hoping that I would be able to bring myself back up after a day or so but I just seem to be getting lower,, I know its probably a combination of everything happening thats setting it all off but I dont know.. I was shut down by a helpline- go use your coping strategies they said. Its now just at the point where even if I was to contact them again I dont even know what to say to them.


Thank you for your support, it is very much appreciated as always
xoxoxoxoxoxox

[startingnew]

Hi Peps, SL, Grandy, and all reading.

Thank you all for your msgs, I have been abit in hiding because I really was hoping to be ok again after a day or so and I didnt want to burden anyone here not did I want to be negative, so instead I went into 'hiding'.. I dont know whats gotten into me but my mental health has really gone all over the place,ive had to pull out my safety plan as well again.


Im still not sleeping all that well, though an hr or so here and there is better than nothing... I seem to get abit tired in the day then im up all hrs of the night even when ive tired myself out as ive
increased my work a lot more-i know im not suppose to be I can manage at home at the moment.

I havent heard back from the hospital as yet for dental work, hopefully soon as its still and will continue to cause pain (toothache, headaches, neck pain and swelling) until its sorted out.


I have been studying where I can and I have an assignment due to be completed by next wednesday but will do that abit later in the week after some revision. Im volunterring most of sunday even though I had asked for a day off- it was my one birthday wish 😕 but all well, im helping fundraise at a bbq for my sisters sporting club.


I have been doing a very small amount of crochetting but ive even lost the joy for that lately esp since my aunt was extremely fussy and had to restart the same thing 4 times and now I cant get the colour changes right nor can I get anyone to show me how to do it properly either. Its making it rather frustrating.
Everything really just seems to be to hard lately, I was hoping that I would be able to bring myself back up after a day or so but I just seem to be getting lower,, I know its probably a combination of everything happening thats setting it all off but I dont know.. I was shut down by a helpline- go use your coping strategies they said. Its now just at the point where even if I was to contact them again I dont even know what to say to them.


Thank you for your support, it is very much appreciated as always
xoxoxoxoxo

[startingnew]

Hi Peps, SL, Grandy, and all reading.


Thank you all for your msgs, I have been abit in hiding because I really was hoping to be ok again after a day or so and I didnt want to burden anyone here not did I want to be negative, so instead I went into 'hiding'.. I dont know whats gotten into me but my mental health has really gone all over the place, its also put me back into the 'danger' zone so have had to pull out my safety plan and use it. It is exhausting.


Im still not sleeping all that well, though an hr or so here and there is better than nothing... I seem to get abit tired in the day then im up all hrs of the night even when ive tired myself out as ive
increased my work a lot more-i know im not suppose to be I can manage at home at the moment.

I havent heard back from the hospital as yet for dental work, hopefully soon as its still and will continue to cause pain (toothache, headaches, neck pain and swelling) until its sorted out.


I have been studying where I can and I have an assignment due to be completed by next wednesday but will do that abit later in the week after some revision. Im volunterring most of sunday even though I had asked for a day off- it was my one birthday wish 😕 but all well, im helping fundraise at a bbq for my sisters sporting club.


I have been doing a very small amount of crochetting but ive even lost the joy for that lately esp since my aunt was extremely fussy and had to restart the same thing 4 times and now I cant get the colour changes right nor can I get anyone to show me how to do it properly either. Its making it rather frustrating.
Everything really just seems to be to hard lately, I was hoping that I would be able to bring myself back up after a day or so but I just seem to be getting lower,, I know its probably a combination of everything happening thats setting it all off but I dont know.. I was shut down by a helpline- go use your coping strategies they said. Its now just at the point where even if I was to contact them again I dont even know what to say to them.


Thank you for your support, it is very much appreciated as always
xoxoxoxoxoxox

[Peppermintbach]

Oh darling Butterfly Wings,

Many gentle hugs from me...

Of course you’re not a “burden” to anyone here. Please shake that thought out of your head. This is your space to talk, vent or to express whatever you need to express...

If you want to talk then please talk. I would like to gently urge you not to go into hiding because you’re worried about being “negative” or a “burden.” You are neither of those things. We are here for you and we want to know how you’re doing. No one expects you to be happy all the time...

That being said, of course it’s also okay to rest and take a break from posting if you feel that you need to. It goes without saying that there’s no pressure to post if you’re not feeling up to it. But please don’t stop yourself from posting if your hesitation has more to do with feeling like a “burden” because you are not...

I’m very proud of you for remembering to use your safety plan. I know you’re really tired and really struggling...but to remember to use your safety plan shows your will to survive. Your weary, but determined, heart radiates...

I really wish you had someone there by your side. I know you have us here and we love you to bits and are here for you. But I also realise it’s still not the same as having in-person care and support...

Sigh, you have so much going on with more work, studies, dissatisfied aunt, etc. Maybe try not to put too much pressure on yourself to try to lift your mood too soon...I figure that will take some time rather than be be an overnight thing...

Perhaps now is more about getting back to basics...survival...doing what you need to do (and leaving the rest be) for now. Just taking it one moment at a time...

If you complete one essential task, that’s fantastic. You can move onto the next one (or rest). Gentle and easy does it...

For now, I’ll make you a warm drink (tea? coffee? other? Your choice) for you to sip. I’ll fluff some cushions and let you rest. Then I’ll come over and sit quietly by your side so you’re not alone...

Much love and affection plus big sis hugs...

”dusk till dawn”

Pepper xoxox

P.S. I was feeling really down the other day and saw a monarch butterfly (or it was black and orange anyway). Instant mood lifter as she made me think of you 🙂