Not coping after disclosure

[startingnew]

Please help me. Im really struggling.

last night i disclosed something that ive kept with me for 2 years now. Im already struggling with ptsd anxiety and depression but the event that i disclosed also comes under ptsd.

I rang a hotline and the first time in 2 years ive spoken about it and im so embarrassed and ashamed. I hate myself and blame myelf for it. And im terriffied! !

[startingnew]

Hi my dear lovelies

I had my xrays done today, they said they will ring today/tomorrow if its broken i havent heard anything as yet. I might do a chase up in the arvo if i havent heard anything. My foot and toe are really quite sore esp today and having the xrays done and needing to walk further today. May need pain relief if it doesnt settle soon.

Thank you for sitting with me. I realy appreciate it so much it really is what i need atm. I dont really have alot of words, i miss being here so much but i feel bad because i dont have my 'smart' brain on so all my words end up jumbled up in posts 😞

I know what is causing some of it and its my hormones out of whack. I havent had a cycle for almost 4 months now (not the first time this has happened!) Im going to have to talk to my nurse tomorrow. Im questioning whether its just stress as they say. 😣😒

I would very much appreciate you all sitting with me. No words needed. I just find your presence comforting 💜❤💟💙💕

[startingnew]

Hi guys


im feeling a little more 'human' today, was able to get a little bit of sleep last night and my pain and yuk feelings had died down. It has been a rather long day though but mostly because ive had to be waiting around on people wanting items but never showing up. Rather annoying but I guess that is life.


I went to the drs and she said it sounds and looks broken but due to the swelling and indent caused byt the stuff falling on my foot its abit hard to tell. I had the xrays but I havent heard anything back about them. They usually only ring if its broken so I guess if I dont hear anything by 6 today it means im in the all clear (I hope) I still cant walk on it so it must be pretty badly bruised.


I had my nurse today and we talked about a few things as well I lost another 2kgs which isnt nearly enough but its a start. She has also suggested another test to see if theres something going on internally thats causing my hormones and things to be out of whack. The only trouble is it is rather invasive and can take up to 40 minutes depending on how clear the pics are etc.




I finally paid off a bill today, have one more to go, and get through this weekend and next then try to go to the optometrist. Its so frustrating not being able to just pay and do what I need a well.


Hmm think thats all from me.....

thanks so much for being here with and for me and all your wonderful hugs and love. xoxoxoxoxo

[Peppermintbach]

Hi beautiful Butterfly Wings (and all),

Always sitting with you, lovely one...

I agree that 4 months is a long time so, as you said, it might be worthwhile mentioning it to your nurse. Get to the bottom of things...

Well done on paying off a bill 🙂 One down now. One bill at a time, I suppose...

I think 2kg is a great start even if it’s not exactly your goal, it’s still something. Great effort!

I agree that it’s very annoying when people agree to buy things then don’t show up. I wish they had the courtesy to contact you again to let you know that they’re not coming...

Thanks again for the beautiful post on my thread. Your warmth and love is always appreciated. Having a bit of a rough time so your hugs and presence is extra special 🙂

Love always...

”Dusk till dawn”

Pepper xoxox

[demonblaster]

Hi SLD 👋 to all ☺

Butterfly Wings and Wings just love them

Caught up huns. I too have another 🦋 story for you.

Might have told you a while ago when I was frequenting a club one of the many lovelies I met there was a staff member who gave me the cutest most glorious little 🦋 broach. I was moved not only a sweet gesture unfortunately atm I cant remember the story behind it which was more touching that she gave it to me. The colours gorgeous its kinda got a touch of brown in the predominantly Golden tinge with a Yellow which is mellowed with the Gold making it a deeper Yellow shade yet stands out. It's quite striking. I had it on a piece of clothing so don't think to wear it often, did on a recent out and same as our lovely choccy supplier, alias Pepstar I too am reminded of you with butterflys and a couple of ladies commented how they really liked it. ☺difficult describing the colour accurately. Maybe Yellowy Gold. Where were my thoughts 2 secs ago 😅

Bbl darling glad for you sounding like some goods amongst OUCH sweetheart it was a while ago your toe poor hun. Thrilled you finally got a better sleep, it's a start lovely one.

Hold in there darling little Wings

Love and thoughts

🤗🦋😚🤝

🌞 light for everyone

[startingnew]

Hi lovely Peps,

i did meantion it to my nurse and she is concerned. this isnt the first time this has happened. its becoming more frequent actually. she has suggested 3 tests, one of which is really invasive internal exam (goes for about half hr-45 minutes) so im rather uncomfortable with that but i think it has to be done. im worried about the results esp with what they are suspecting. i wont get to far ahead of myself though, i need to wait 2 weeks till i see my gp then get her to order the tests for me.

good news though is my toe isnt broken. i had a call late this arvo to let me know which is great! its just brusing and soft tissue damage but at least its not a break!

aww do you want to talk about it? hugs and hugs to you my sweet online sis xoxox

[startingnew]

hello SL

thank you for a lovely post! i loved hearing about your butterfly story. no i didnt know you had a butterfly brooch, i know you had a butterfly necklace.. do you still have that? i remember you finding that on one of your walks.

my toe isnt broken which is a great start, hopefully ill be able to walk on it properly over the next days. will make things so much easier then limping around!

thank you for being here with me too. hugs xoxo

[Peppermintbach]

Hi beautiful Butterfly Wings (and all),

I’m also very relieved that your toe isn’t broken. It still sounds painful but not broken is good 🙂

I really love how you’re trying to adopt a level headed approach by “not get(ting) too far ahead of myself” with the possibility of having to have 3 tests. I think that’s a great mentality...

Oh thank you so much for the hugs. love hugs from you 🙂

Thank you for also asking...I had a bit of a long overdue cry last night. Funnily enough it was watching online videos of animals being reunited with their human family (and animals saving other animals) that triggered the waterworks. But it was very cathartic as I probably needed a good cry about a bunch of other things too.

I tend to be more moved by animals than (most of) my fellow humans. When I think about animals, they warm my heart and I find them comforting. But when I think about (some) humans, I often feel a sense of deep sadness and despair...

Hugs and much love to you.

”Dusk till dawn”

Pepper xoxo

[startingnew]

Hi dear Peps

im glad its not broken either! otherwise its another 6-8 weeks in a splint and resting- urgh!

crying can be good cant it! are you feeling a little better today? is there anything youd like to talk about? you can talk here, or your thread or wherever your comfortable with xox

sending many hugs love and butterflies xoxoxo

[Ggrand]

Hello SN,

Thats good news little butterfly that you toes isn’t broken...

i hope you are doing okay today...

Ill just sit quietly here for a while, and keep you company, Maybe once your toe looks okay again, I’ll come back and paint your toe nails, a pretty colour...for now little butterfly be very gentle with you...

Love and hugs..

Grandy..

[startingnew]

Thanks little angel

I woud appreciate you sitting with me ❤