Not coping after disclosure

[startingnew]

Please help me. Im really struggling.

last night i disclosed something that ive kept with me for 2 years now. Im already struggling with ptsd anxiety and depression but the event that i disclosed also comes under ptsd.

I rang a hotline and the first time in 2 years ive spoken about it and im so embarrassed and ashamed. I hate myself and blame myelf for it. And im terriffied! !

[startingnew]

Thanks for the msgs guys 💜💙❤💗💕💚❣

Im having trouble reaponding today. Having dreadful side effects of new meds. Headspins and blurred vision making things tricky, and had really painful stomach cramps and even more nausea than usual and those meds are the only thing i can put it down to its the only that has changed recently.

i cant get ahold of either gp (cant get in for another 2 weeks) and tried to get ahold of psychiatrist but shes not back till next week!

Really quite frustrating! Dont really know what to do. If i even meantion it to family they flip their lid at me so its hard to say anything to anyone. Its a lonesome place to be offline if it werent for you guys u wouldnt have anyone

[Ggrand]

Good Night Little Butterfly 🦋..

I'll return the favour from last night and sit with you but I'll be here for you this time a bit of role reversals, Try to breathe and relax sweetheart..Im also having side effects from my new meds..I'm having nightmares I cannot remember...and waking up in the middle of panic attacks..scarey....

Having headspins and blurred vision sound frightening as well because you could easily loose your balance and fall, so please be very careful SN...

Good Night sweetheart..some hugs 🤗🤗 for a special little butterfly....Sleep well...

Grandy..

[Peppermintbach]

Hi beautiful Butterfly Wings and all,

A very gentle hug from me...the side effects sound terrible. I’m worried about you, lovely one...

Maybe if the symptoms persist or worsen, you might want to take yourself to hospital to get the symptoms checked out. I know you’re not keen on hospitals (and that’s of course understandable) but I mean as a last resort...

I feel sad that you’re family tends to be so unsupportive and dismissive of your struggles. It must be so lonely not to have anyone to turn to offline...

I know it’s not the same but you have us here. We are all here with you in spirit...gently holding you up...

Love always, gentle big sis hugs and sending blue butterflies your way

”Dusk till dawn”

Pepper xoxo

[Ggrand]

Hello Little Butterfly 🦋..

I am calling in just to say hello andcwish todaybis a better day for you..I'm wondering sweetheart if you can get outside today and take some time for yourself, just to sit down quietly and look around you to see the wonders of this universe we all live in...I hope the sun is shining and you can get outside on your own, sit down under a tree, leaning against it will ground you, why not give crocheting outside a try as well, as the warmth of the sun warms your skin and the birds singing beautifully at He bees, buzzing around and your gorgeous butterflies flittering around you...Deep breathing as well darling..in.....out....that's it ..Inthink that bsittingnoutside and listening and looking at what the universe has to offer us is the best tv ever,..

Please enjoy your given day today...

Hugs and heaps of them..🤗🤗 x everlasting for today..

Grandy..

[startingnew]

Hello Everyone


im so sorry for the delays, these side effects are horrible, im still getting headspins, blurry vision and I pretty much have no taste except for a dreadful one like youd have with reflux its gross and never goes away!


Lici- hi lovely, there might be another gp nearby, not really up for looking atm though, ill give this gp another chance or see another. Just kinda sick of seeing people all the time. Im quite enjoying my new craft, im learning new things with it so its not really getting boring yet. Theres heaps to learn!
Thanks heaps xoxox


Peps- hello sis, they are so very hard to ignore sometimes. Though they arent really voices they are just extremely loud thoughts. Yes I agree I felt shoved out the door. At least I got meds sorted for now. The side effects are yukky. Hopefully within a week they will subside abit more.. the blurry vision isnt as bad as 2 days ago but I cant look at screens or anything for too long. Thank you for your concern though, ill seek other help if it gets to much xo. It does get very lonley, even though im around people I often feel more alone with them. Having you guys here in spirit means so much more than you might realise. Im often thinking of my forum friends when im out driving esp when scenic things come up wishing I could share the views with you all.
Love you too
Thank you, as always sending butterflies and Dusk till Dawn xoxo



Grandy- Hi Little angel, thank you for sitting with me too, im sorry your getting side effects too. They sounds scary, hugs. I have been loosing my balance when in bed and needing to get up to go to the bathroom I usually do 2 steps forward and ten steps back! It can be quite dreadful.
I have been flat chat, no rest for the wicked even when im sick. Ive even been taking siblings to work with me and thats usually 'my time' ive fallen behind in the work and im hoping I wont get in trouble because its been windy and the kids will get bored sitting in the car for an hr maybe more. Im going to be up at 630 head out the door by 7 and try to catch up at work before picking the kids up at 930 watching them as its blowing a gale here so inside it is and then hoping I can have the arvo off if I can get my work done in the moring. And with pop being abit unwell too its making things abit harder as well. So many pressures....
thanks little angle for your love and care too xoxox

[demonblaster]

Hi dear SLD and other lovely people ☺

Geesh you sure don't get many breaks do ya love. Sorry hearing you too are having a hard time with meds wow sounds rough eyesight being affected, hope it settles sooner than later. Lovey when you go to get out of bed try sitting on the side for a few minutes before standing to get your bearings first sweet girl. Poor thing how awful.

How's your teeth going?

Glad the lady paid up, poor form.

Been keeping an eye on you lovely friends darling and a while back I keep forgetting to say you said a good thing about yourself and of course I've forgotten what it was but point is I'm proud of you.

Sounds like another flat out day, be extra careful darlin and look after that arm

👋🤗😚💗🤝

[Ggrand]

Hello Startingnew..

Im going off the meds for a few days to see if it is the meds. or something else..Your side effects sounds terrible...I like what Deebi said to sit on the bed first before you get up...Easy to fall over and hurt yourself so please be very careful, especially if you have to drive the car and your having head spins...and feel unbalanced..

Ill just keep an eye on you tonight Little Butterfly and be here if you need a shoulder to lean on if you get up through the night...Hoping you get some good sleep tonight...

Love and hugs..💜🤗. 🦋🕊.

Grandy....👼..

[startingnew]

Hi SL,

I have been so busy, up early, not finishing things till late, its exhausting. All over the weekend and I had the kids and ive been busy enough to have to take the kids everywhere with me including work which is usually my time for 'me' but I havent even had that for a few days, tomorrow I dont get that either as im at sisters school and I have the other one with me till mums home in the arvo, then work and the drs for pop. So much to do!!!! weve had up to 100k wind gusts here too so its been making things a lot harder and making things pile up. I caught up 2 things this morning when I was up at 6 but I wasnt able to catch up any further as I was dealing with broken tree branche clearing and fence fixing.


yeah the side effects arent great, esp the headspins and nausea. I try to sit up and and get up slowly but sometimes it doesnt help. The nausea sheesh I thought having an ulcer was bad for it this one just took it up another notch. Hopefully after a few days though itll start to decrease abit as it gets into my system.


My teeth- despite being scared im ready for at least the bad tooth to come out, im not eating much else except for soups, teas, and things like wheetbix but it can only be luke warm and since i feel nauseated and not tasting alot i dont enjoy any of it so usually just have bits here and there

. I had a really big toothache last night and today because of the cold air and has a swollen tounge and cheek from where my tooth keeps catching.

thanks for your love and care xoxoxoxoxo

[startingnew]

Hi little angel

Your post wasnt up when i was here earlier, im glad i come back.

Thank you so much for sitting with me. I think i may have broken my big toe. I was helping pop with a rope on a reel and he pulled the rope before i had a chance to grab it so it landed straight in my toe and has made a nice wound so hard to tell if its from that or not. Ill see how it is in the morning...

I try not to drive to much or for long times. If im having alot i wont drive but its not as often as a few days ago so fingers crossed itll keep going.

Super tired tonight but cant seem to switch off. Will lay in bed for abit and crochet another row or 2 then try again.

Thank you xoxoxoxo

[Peppermintbach]

Hi beautiful Butterfly Wings (and all),

Thanks so much for clarifying that you meant loud thoughts. Sorry, I understood what you meant...when I said “voices”, I didn’t mean literal voices in your head but I probably wasn’t very clear 😉 My bad...thanks for picking up on it 🙂

The side effects do sound pretty awful. I also hope it subsides soon...

Your weekend must have been very hectic and stressful. Not a minute to yourself...as always, there’s so much responsibility on your shoulders. A gentle hug from me...

An injured big toe on top of so many others health issues and stressors is truly the last thing you need. I really hope it’s not broken...

Thank you so much for sending butterflies my way. They always bring me comfort...

Love always...

”Dusk till dawn”

Pepper xoxo