Introducing mmMekitty

[mmMekitty]

I am mmMekitty, named for my cat, (my avatar), who lived 7 years. It has been five or so years since, but I still miss her. Mekitty an I had a simpler relationship than any I have had with people.

The photo is the one I to retrieved after my hard drive crashed. She had wandered off, was away for six days, when she turned up again in the middle of the night. I cried with relief. This was the photo I used for her Lost Cat poster I put up around the neighbourhood at the time.

As for me, I cannot see the detail of the photo nearly as well as I did then, and then my sight was poor. I am now using text-to-speech software, zooming on my pc, voice over. Since I find this stuff difficult, I get really frustrated.

I used to keep all my emotions in check, so much so, I thought and said I did not have any feelings or reactions to anything. That changed and I could not deny the existence of my emotions. It was a terrifying time. What was happening to me? I was falling apart and all this unidentifiable stuff was pouring out.

I have had to learn so much since I began seeing the Psychiatrist I saw back then (1993 - 95). From learning I had to put words to the experiences, name, own, accept them. Still uncomfortable. I beat up on myself too much, I know.

I used to do things I can no longer do to my own satisfaction. I still sing, but not like I used to. I cannot paint like I did. I cannot use pen and paper to write, so have managed to adapt to keyboard. That is something. I have been working on being more sociable, less isolated, but last year, when COVID-19 retrictions required face masks be worn, I found I could not - which is what brings me here.

I have had to curtail so much of what I had been doing. I am feeling the isolation now. How ironic! I resisted even thinking I needed anybody, then I try to have some friends, join a writers' group, get help with things like housework and shopping, going to places for fun and entertainment, only to have to withdraw again because I cannot wear a mask. It bites, like a scorpion.

I will make a thread, now I found the place to click to create one! I think my problem was with how I have my desktop appearance. It looks like any ordinary link, hiding below another, for creating a feed link. Now I know.

I suppose I will get around to talking more about myself. I will need to be careful about how involved I become, so please, don't expect me to pop up everywhere. I would burn out if I did that.

(Purring) mmMekitty

[mmMekitty]

Hi Grandy, Blue & all.

My knee is fine. The injuries to it were very minor & didn't get dirty or anything. No worries, Grandy. Thanks for asking. 

GP said maybe I have some sort of pinching nerves in my back, which was the cause of my leg problems. so, I was sent to have an injection in it, to see if that would help with the leg pains & other odd feelings, but sadly, I didn't improve at all.

I was uncomfortable about the gastric sleeve idea & surprised to even think of considering it. If I really get myself on firm ground with my dietary habits & succeed in decreasing the total amount of food I eat per day, then I could consider it. I would really like to be sure about it, first.

I was a skinny kid & was still skinny into my late mid 20s. I gradually put on this weight. Quitting smoking, if I'd ad good advice, I might have changed my eating habits then, but didn't do much then either, & so gained more weight because metabolism changes when one quits smoking. Gradually, more & more ever since. I've been rather slack for years about my eating habits, not really wanting to deal with it.

Eating better & getting exercise, making these things part of our normal, everyday lives, is the better option. It feels radical, & requires close scrutiny of what we are eating, & being mindful for when we can be doing a little exercise & working into our lives some regular time when this is the part of our health we are focusing on.

I'm looking into everything in my cupboard & fridge. When I'm out, being more considerate of what my choices are.

I need help to do this stuff. I need support & encouragement, especially from people around me.

& me Being assertive! (that's hard, but necessary).

Happy dreams,

mmMekitty 

[Clues_Of_Blue]

Hey mmMekitty,

Glad your knee isn't too hurt. Sounds like sciatica in your back, maybe? I have a bulging disc and because of it I have sciatica, which flares up sometimes and is no fun. Sorry to hear the injection didn't work, unfortunately they don't always. I'm not sure what other treatments there are for it, I get by with stopping heavy activity for a bit and doing some physio exercises.

I understand about managing weight and stuff, too. I guess the trick is finding healthy food and exercises you really enjoy. If you are cooking, then healthy things that are easy to make (home-made versions of some "naughty" things can actually be fairly healthy). I hope the people in your life are encouraging, or at least not pushing you to do the things you've said you're trying not to do. I remember losing weight some years back and my partner at the time was always bouncing from "I support you" to almost immediately "let's have pizza tonight". Um, no! Assertiveness is, as you say, hard but necessary! Here to support and encourage. You've got this!

Kind thoughts,

Blue.

[mmMekitty]

I've just learned there will be an Xmas party/lunch at an organisation where I am a member. 

I'm happy they are doing this after missing out a couple years. They have a big room which is quite airy, & has ceiling fans, so maybe it will be okay. The party is on ta Thursday, so maybe I can also attend with my helper. That would save me getting a taxi or bus to & from.

Never know, one of us might win one of the raffles! (Which might be things I don't want to eat, anymore... or VERY, VERY slowly!)

Blue, do you remember when they started informing us about take-away & delivert pizza, how many kilojoules were in their products? Looking at that, remembering how much pizza, & garlic bread, & maybe even a soft drink - wow! It is astonishing what I used to do. This was years ago, mind; I've not had a pizza for a couple years already, unless I made my pseudopizza, using flat bread or puff pastry for the base, & adding my own ingredients. I've done that more recently, but maybe that's not to be continued either, mostly because of the amount of cheese I like.

The puff pastry may be a problem too. I still have to check the ingredients & nutrition panal for that.

mmMekitty

[Clues_Of_Blue]

Hey mmMekitty,

Cool, I hope that Christmas do goes well for you and you can have the preferable travel option.

Yup, I remember nutritional labelling being phased in. Quite the eye-opener, wasn't it? Ah, cheese, that's one of my stumbling blocks, too, I love the stuff. Light cheese isn't actually too bad on pizza, just gotta keep an eye on it as it cooks differently. I don't recall the calorie details now, but when I was losing weight I worked out that 3 pieces of (not excessively cheesy) pizza was kind of okay for a main meal or two for a light meal. Not all the time of course, but I was factoring "fun" foods into my diet so I wouldn't feel deprived. It really helped.

I think flat bread or even a ready made pizza base would probably be better than puff pastry as pastry has loads of butter in it. Less sure about the flat breads, but if you don't mind wholemeal or multigrain, they'd be better for sustained energy and feeling satisfied after your meal.

Do you like soda water? I started drinking it when I was losing weight because aside from being filling and hydrating, the bubbles felt indulgent and it was good with a splash of lemon or orange or lime juice. Funny thing is now I like it way more than soft drinks, which I have come to find miles too sweet.

Kind thoughts,

Blue.

[mmMekitty]

Hi Blue,

My problem is it's impossible to have 'too much' cheese!

Some things really are astonshing, in what they contain. I'm primarily looking at the fat, sugar & salt. I havn't even gone into all those numbers. Wonder what they are hiding behind the numbers mentioned in the list of ingredients?

The salt levels in the pizza are high - or so it seems until you look at the sides. I was just having another look before, & per slice of pizza on the regular base, the calories were 1000+& that's what they call a single serve: 1 slice. I haven't known anyone who has only one slice, no sides, & no drink when indulging in pizza.

A few years back, at a picnic, when I asked if I could have some water, I was given a cup of soda water. It wasn't cold either. It seemed really odd at first, having plain soda water without flavouring, like the sparkling mineral water I'd been having. Shortly after, I'd seen a dietitian who advised me to switch to soda water, because it has less salt. It sill has some, just not as much. She mentioned the sugar in the soft drinks & juices, (even before they add it), & if I could just maybe drink more water or even the soda water, that would be far better than what I was doing.

I've got used to the soda water. I have had it with some lemon or orange juice, which I squeeze from the real fruit. I want more of the fibre from the oranges, so I'm eating those now. They seem messier than I remember. For a long time, I thought fresh oranges were too tangy/sour, but not this time around. [smiling LRC]

The dietitian had recommended I have some bananas, slightly underripe, for the another type of fibre. It's difficult to get the bananas I want, because online I can't choose my own, & when shopping in person, I can't see well enough to select them either. Ofttn, the bananas I want are simply not available. The riper the banana the more sugar it contains. It's another problem I want to solve.

I can't keep track of calories/kilojoules, serving sizes & all the various nutrients &to balance them into a set of foods I will buy.  

I'm deciding on foods yeas or nay, or just maybe occasionally a little bit... with some foods simply being off my list.

I had some more to add, but for the character count, I'm leaving it for later.

Goodnight,

Pleasant dreams,

mmMekitty

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear mmMeKitty, waves to everyone….🤗 and hugs🤗,

I am so impressed and proud of the way you’re researching all the different foods you are consuming or thinking about consuming….Well done..

I have a soda fountain thingy…and have been using it for years to make soda water… I love soda water and adding lemon to it makes it 100% perfect for my taste buds…😁…especially the frothy bit on top..

I am lazy when it comes to nighttime meals…a cheese and tomato toastie is a regular dinner for me…I was lucky enough to get some mushrooms on special, due to a short use by date and made a mushroom gravy today….lol I had it on top of toast…I only buy the mixed grain bread, but my Dr told me a few weeks ago to substitute bread with rice cakes…I did try them and do use them sometimes….but much prefer bread….

How are you feeling mentally dear mmMeKitty?….you sound a bit down on another thread you posted on….so I thought I’d pop in and give you a very super soft and squishy kitty 🐱 cushion, to cuddle…..I have a soft Tweety Bird cushion that I like to cuddle sometimes…

I am happy to read that you’re seeing a nutritionist to help you to understand which foods are good and which are not…I have an old book, called “Food and What’s in It”…it has just about every food listed with it vitamin/mineral/calorie/ fat count as well as the benefits and the not so beneficial things it can do to our body….

I’ve  been up for hours…silly noisy Rooster from next door….i am going to try to sleep now….yeah right!…Rooster is now quiet, the sun is rising itself again… as beautiful as it is to watch, I need to go to bed for a while…Will I say good night or good morning?….both I think😂😂..

Take good care of your beautiful self, sweet mmMeKitty….thinking of you with kindness and care… sending you and everyone reading a huge comforting hug….

Grandy..

[Clues_Of_Blue]

Hey mmMekitty (with a wave to Grandy),

Haha, I hear ya, cheese in moderation is hard. Maybe if putting it on pizza, put the amount you need to stop at in a bowl before you start making it, so there's an extra step of going back to the fridge to discourage putting more on. I find that helpful.

Yeah, it's amazing what you find, looking at ingredient and nutrition labels. I've had to look more carefully since being vegetarian, gelatine turns up in some funny places, never mind salt and fats and sugars that are entirely unnecessary. We use frozen mashed potato sometimes, to make dinners easier, for some reason there's sugar in it. What possible need could there be for sugar in mash?!

I like my soda water with fresh squeezed juice, too. Or when it's hot I'll have some sliced lemons, limes, etc. in the freezer to chuck in as a tasty ice-block. You're right, even fruit juice is pretty sugary, it's all the sugars of whatever fruit goes in there (often coupled with cane sugar), and none of the fibre. Great that you're enjoying oranges more than you thought you would (though you're right about how messy they are). Valencia oranges can be quite sour (the ones often used for juicing), but navel oranges are typically sweet and good eating. Totally relate about bananas - I get everything except most of my fruit and veg online, they often choose pretty awful quality stuff that's just a huge waste of money. Having worked in both Fruit & Veg and online shopping, I find it really aggravating - I wouldn't treat my customers like that! Anyway, back to bananas - I think they're tastier a bit under ripe, anyway. Too sweet and squishy for me when those sugars come in.

It is an awful lot to keep track of calories and serving sizes and nutrients. Having a bit of an idea of what foods are healthy and what aren't is the best starting place. Portion sizes... go about half what the average restaurant gives you and that's healthy. I'm with you on the healthy eating journey now, I haven't been feeling great about the convenience foods I've had to rely on a lot lately, I want to turn that around.

Kind thoughts,

Blue.

PS Grandy, hope you got some sleep in the end.

[mmMekitty]

Hi everyone.

Out with my support worker today, I went to lunch at a restaurant which allows people to bring their dogs. Although I can't see the dogs that my helper said were there, I enjoyed the thought of them being there.

It was a modern Japanese inspired menu. I had a great salad with Teriyaki Chicken, but not breast meat & I'm sure there was salt & sugar in the Teriyaki sauce & in the sesame dressing. I didn't resist having a few Chicken & Garlic (with butter) balls, crispy crumbed all over.

Goodness the Teriyaki Chicken was SO good, & the Chicken & Garlic balls were also very enjoyable. The salad had lots of greens, so, I did pretty good when I think of what else was tempting on the menu.

I'd love the Teriyaki Chicken for Xmas!

We also had a look at a local community garden.  It has several food plants & flowers. There was a bathtub with water lilies in it!

They have some large, raised beds where they are trying to re-condition some soil the council gave them. If all goes to plan, they'll be renting these raised beds. I'd like that, so I wouldn't have to get down & up from the ground all the time.

The paths were not even & level. They also had differing surfaces. Some garden beds had low borders made with bricks, while some had none I could find with my cane, & so I might accidently step in the garden beds.

Anyway, that's for later consideration, if I get more funding from NDIS, & another helper to go with me. Be great if I could find someone who is experienced with gardening.

Turned into a pretty good day.

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[mmMekitty]

Hi Grandy.

Sometimes I actually do go back to bed when I've been woken too early & have had a little more sleep. that doesn't happen every time, but it is very nice when it does. Dawn is much too early in November, December & January.

Thanks for your gentle & kind concern.

Regarding my mental health, sorry to say, I've had this site on my mind.

With regards to my mental health, Grandy, I'm seeing some things which have been upsetting me. It gets too much for me to cope with. I am aware how it effects my feelings about myself & how it gets me down & feeling awful because I can't do anything to bring about any really helpful change.

Also, there's the memory: who said what to whom & when & where. I can't keep up. 

I get to feeling really bad about not being able to support & help as much as I would like.

The less vital thing is how this site still has 'glitches', some of which are irritating & frustrating.

Overall, I feel my own mental health is suffering, so I've cut back a lot. Now I feel I can't participate as deeply as I hoped. I don't feel good about my mostly playing some word games, & only occasionally getting to a few Discussions in other areas of BB.

I'm asking myself, just how good is this site for my mental health? I am feeling conflicted & confused about what the answer, for me, is.

Yet, Xmas looms - a time when I feel left alone, so I want to be here for some sense of being connected to some people, somewhere, people like you. I am aware other people feel pretty much the same during the silly season.

Hugzies,

mmMekitty

[mmMekitty]

Hi Blue,

It's the Navel oranges I've been having. They have been large, & I don't seem to be able to do what I think we did, very long ago, because the peel is too thick. I'm almost certain we used to halve the orange & turn the halves inside out. I can't do that with the oranges I've had this year.

Maybe it was other oranges that I thought were too sour/bitter before. I wonder. I've mostly had mandarins because of that. I like the really big Imperial Mandarins, with the very loose peel.

I've enjoyed instant mash potato, sometimes, or have used it to add some thickness & texture to my version of Corn or fish or whatever chowder.  Of-course it has salt, weird sounding preservative, & 'spice extracts' - what are they doing to the spices? Are they breaking them up & only (somehow) removing a portion just to add into the mixture? Does taste a bit peppery, which is something I would rather not have.

Sleep well, Blue, & everyone.

mmMekitty