I'm really trying to feel better about myself

[Music_Freak]

I don't know where to start with this, there's so much in my head right now...

I've got nothing, but my cat...no job, no friends, far from a family priority etc. etc.

My mum died 10 years ago on 26.2 and I still miss her so badly, she was the only person I had who was in my corner. Everyone else (family, friends that currently aren't talking to me) say I play the victim and am all "woe is me"

My sister's said I look like a silverback gorilla and other such things. She's a bully who gets away with it all, because she's the favourite and "normal" (kids, married, no mental illness - although I have doubts about that last one). My dad's called me fat and said that "You're bent like your mother" (she was bipolar). He lives with me and getting him to do anything is such a battle, he doesn't feel like paying the rent, so it's left to me, goes to work when he feels like it, helps my sister with her house but won't with me etc. etc. etc....I could go on and on with them!!

I have a GP and a psychologist that I should go back to (sessions are free and they're within walking distance), but I wonder if it's worth it when my psychologist said me running an instagram account for a celebrity is me living in fantasy land

I won't write any more, because I can't see anyone replying. I've got nothing and nobody and just want to forget...

[Guest_5218]

Hi Narelle. Just wondering how you are getting along this afternoon.

Dont worry about only take baby steps for now. These baby steps will become more sure and certain as you start to develop some confidence in yourself. Before you know it, you will be gaining momentum and taking much bigger steps forward. So long as these mini steps are in the right direction, then they are to be celebrated. And even an occasional backwards step is tolerable, because we all know that they do happen. But we fight our way back again.

Have you ever done an office management course Narelle? I am not quite sure how Centrelink operates on these matters, but they may well cover the cost of you doing a TAFE or on-line Office Administration or Management course for you. This would also look good on your resume as you continue to look for office work, even without the course being completed. At least it shows a prospective employer that you are willing to learn and prepared to work hard in your attempts to gain employment.

When you say that you find Buddy's voice relaxing - do you mean when he purrs, or when he meows?

Sherie xx

[Doolhof]

Hi Narelle and all reading this,

I have not ventured into the New Post section for a while, so have just stumbled across your thread Narelle.

You have been receiving some wonderful friendship, advice and caring here. That is what I so like about this forum, people take the time out to let others know how much they care!

I've really appreciated your little snippets and posts addressed to me in the past, you help to brighten my day.

Glad to hear all went well at the vets. My husband takes our cat to vet as she is a lot calmer with him there for some reason. Actually our dear cat bites and scratches me if I try to pat her when my husband is around. I think she is so funny!

All the best with your study. Anything you can add to your CV has to be a bonus. I am supposed to be doing some online study for my work so will have to do that soon.

Some where previously you mentioned Volunteer work. Sorry I don't recall what I read though! Are you participating in volunteer work or are you wanting to? My husband has recently been on Centrelink as I earn so little due to my physical ailments. He now has to do volunteer work.

Today I watched a very old movie called "White Christmas" with Bing Crosby in it. My husband recorded it for me. One of the dancing ladies had a waist of only about 20 c.m. I don't think I was even born with a waist as skinny as hers! Ha. Ha.

Hope your day is going okay Narelle and All, cheerio, from Mrs. dools

[Music_Freak]

I've basically slept the day away, whoops, could have trouble sleeping tonight...damn

I meant Dr Phil's voice, not Buddy's, although Buddy's purring has been known to put me to sleep

I have a certificate 3&4 in business administration, I'm not sure I'd do any more since it hasn't helped with getting a job, just feels like a waste of money, really

I do voluntary admin work with The Smith Family, but haven't been in for a while. I was going to restart next Thursday, but wonder if I'm even capable.

[Doolhof]

Hi Narelle,

You could try popping into The Smith Family centre and see how you go. Even if you manage to be there for half an hour or an hour, that is better than not going there at all.

Even if you just pop in sometime and have a chat with some of the other people there.

Snoozing all day is okay, as long as you can find some motivation to do something positive the next day.

Would it help to make up a little list of things you would like to achieve and check them off. At the end of a week, you could have a look and see what you have managed to achieve.

When I don't manage to get much achieved, I try a little harder the next day!

Today is my day to try a little harder...

[Music_Freak]

I've got MYOB open now and I'm having trouble even focusing on it...going to keep trying for the next hour or so and see what happens...I feel stupid today, it may as well be in Japanese, it's going right over my head...

[Lost_Girl]

Hi Narelle,

I understand how you're feeling. I have this problem too. Sometimes it is hard to concentrate.

Why don't you have a look at the palouse mindfulness website instead and see if anything there can help calm your mind. The body scan on the bottom left menu is where my psych got me to start.

Kind thoughts,

Carol

[Music_Freak]

Thanks Carol, I'll check it out.

I've given up on MYOB for a few days...I'm still trying to figure out if its worth my going into the Smith Family or not...maybe I just need to force myself

I'm feeling pretty useless right now though

[Wednesday]

Hi Narelle,

Sounds like your feeling pretty low. You're not useless of course that's just your brain playing tricks with you because you are low, most disrespectful of it!

For what it's worth as someone that spends way to much time talking to my dog and hiding in my bedroom, I think a trip to the Smith Family would be a really good idea. I know it probably doesn't feel like good idea. It's a bit of a vicious circle. You don't go because you feel useless and down, you feel useless and down because your not getting any nice human face to face interactions. I'm not counting Buddy of course because he is awesome!

You're a lovey person, you deserve a happy life and you can do this. The first few steps are the toughest but just keep walking and you'll get there, both metaphorically and actually!

Hugs, xx

[Music_Freak]

Thanks Wednesday 🙂

I feel like a broken record needing to hear that all the time...no wonder so called friends get fed up with me. Not sure if that says more about them or me though, I just know that them up and leaving me adds to the vicious demons 😞

It has to be my fault when it ALWAYS happens through, right...

[blondguy]

Hi Narelle....gorgeous name by the way! I just read that you have been/are working for the smith family....well done 🙂 One of the best charities in the country 🙂

I read your posts and you are never a broken record Narelle..you are I (and everyone here) are human...we have flaws and imperfections....I have heaps 🙂

Just saying thanks for being here with us..Paulx (Hug)