I'm really trying to feel better about myself

[Music_Freak]

I don't know where to start with this, there's so much in my head right now...

I've got nothing, but my cat...no job, no friends, far from a family priority etc. etc.

My mum died 10 years ago on 26.2 and I still miss her so badly, she was the only person I had who was in my corner. Everyone else (family, friends that currently aren't talking to me) say I play the victim and am all "woe is me"

My sister's said I look like a silverback gorilla and other such things. She's a bully who gets away with it all, because she's the favourite and "normal" (kids, married, no mental illness - although I have doubts about that last one). My dad's called me fat and said that "You're bent like your mother" (she was bipolar). He lives with me and getting him to do anything is such a battle, he doesn't feel like paying the rent, so it's left to me, goes to work when he feels like it, helps my sister with her house but won't with me etc. etc. etc....I could go on and on with them!!

I have a GP and a psychologist that I should go back to (sessions are free and they're within walking distance), but I wonder if it's worth it when my psychologist said me running an instagram account for a celebrity is me living in fantasy land

I won't write any more, because I can't see anyone replying. I've got nothing and nobody and just want to forget...

[Petra]

Hi Narelle

I 'ditto' Carol here sweet. Please do go back to the GP. It just may be the missing piece here, providing you some clarity to move forward on your journey to wellness.

I knew I was heading down the dark path again (depression), one sign being the 'comparison disease'. It's not healthy to compare yourself to others. I put my hand up for help, and went to the Drs for AD's and after some much needed and appreciated encouragement from my friends here in BB, finally went to the psych. I'm feeling a whole lot better these days and don't feel like I'm walking down that dark path of mine. I know the dark path will always be in my garden, but I choose not to walk it! Hope that makes sense.

Your thoughts?

Pet 😊

[Music_Freak]

I do agree Pet, my dark path will always be near me too. I'm slowly turning away from it now. I'm actually feeling OK today, surprisingly, maybe it's because I can see a light at the end of the tunnel, provided my deadbeat dad doesn't extinguish it.

I'm actually going to apply for a job over the weekend. It's unlikely I'll get it with no referees, but I'm looking at it as practice.

[Wednesday]

Hi Narelle,

It's lovely to her that you are feeling a bit brighter. Applying for a job too, fantastic. It's a great idea to practice too.

As far as referees are yo sure there is no-one you can ask? I had the same problem years ago and ended up asking people that dealt with me for a variety of reasons, volunteer work, a lawyer who had done some work for me and a friend, just a thought.

Hugs, xx

[Guest_5218]

Hi there Narelle. Gee thats great news!

And good that you are applying for a job over the weekend too. You never know until you try.

When you say you dont have any referees - sometimes personal referees means just as much. They dont all have to be work references. Try people like an older family friend, a neighbour, a shopkeeper you may see regularly, your dentist, your chemist. Just someone who knows you personally and can vouch for you being honest, reliable, hard working, a trier, pays your bills on time. Anything is better than nothing.

I wish you luck and every success.

Sherie xx

[Petra]

Yep. I agree with Vanessa. Think about the referee options. Fabulous you are applying for a job. I see you tinker a bit with MYOB? Well done. MYOB is a popular accounting product. I know some Govt departments use it too.

xx

[Music_Freak]

All good ideas, but there's no one I can ask. I'm not joking when I say Buddy is all I have

I thought of my supervisor at my voluntary work, but considering my attendance record or lack thereof, it's probably not the best idea

Maybe I just won't waste my and their time applying

[Lost_Girl]

Hi Narelle,

Apply anyway lovely. Your cv will talk for itself. It will be good practice.

In the meantime have a look at other volunteer work that you may be suitable for too. Maybe getting something new will help with gaining a good reference.

Another option to consider is temp admin work.

Think positive. Remember getting your meds checked by your GP will hopefully help make all of this easier.

[Music_Freak]

It will have to be for practice because I have minimal experience (temp work seems to require it). I'm not sure I could do it with anxiety anyway. So that along with no referees, my application would probably be passed around for a laugh

I'm not being negative, just realistic. I realise that from an outsiders point of view, I don't have a lot going for me. I never have

[lookingforme]

Hi Narelle,

From someone who has been rejected a whole lot of times...even if it doesn't get you anywhere, you could use it as a way to see where your CV is lacking? Always ask, always follow up. Just a thought. And practice always works, even if it doesn't feel like it at the time.

I'm sure you have more than you think.

[lookingforme]

I hope I didn't say anything stupid or anything...