I'm really trying to feel better about myself

[Music_Freak]

I don't know where to start with this, there's so much in my head right now...

I've got nothing, but my cat...no job, no friends, far from a family priority etc. etc.

My mum died 10 years ago on 26.2 and I still miss her so badly, she was the only person I had who was in my corner. Everyone else (family, friends that currently aren't talking to me) say I play the victim and am all "woe is me"

My sister's said I look like a silverback gorilla and other such things. She's a bully who gets away with it all, because she's the favourite and "normal" (kids, married, no mental illness - although I have doubts about that last one). My dad's called me fat and said that "You're bent like your mother" (she was bipolar). He lives with me and getting him to do anything is such a battle, he doesn't feel like paying the rent, so it's left to me, goes to work when he feels like it, helps my sister with her house but won't with me etc. etc. etc....I could go on and on with them!!

I have a GP and a psychologist that I should go back to (sessions are free and they're within walking distance), but I wonder if it's worth it when my psychologist said me running an instagram account for a celebrity is me living in fantasy land

I won't write any more, because I can't see anyone replying. I've got nothing and nobody and just want to forget...

[Lost_Girl]

Hi Narelle,

Sounds like a positive day for you. Mine was better than expected too, yay. Wednesday and Pet are wonderful aren't they.

I hope you get a restful sleep and have another day with positives things tomorrow xx

[Music_Freak]

Everyone here has been wonderful to me, Carol, I'm not sure I deserve it

My stomach isn't feeling great tonight, but I'm trying not to think about it, I'm watching Law & Order SVU and waiting for the bed hog (a.k.a Buddy) to claim his spot on my bed.

I hope I can sleep tonight too, I want to wake up before 11

[Guest_5218]

Hi Narelle. Of course you deserve it !!!!!!

Sorry your tummy is not feeling great still, and I hope it all settles soon.

Law and Order is a good series, and I watch some of them too. Although the SVU ones I find somewhat triggering. But by the same token it can also be used as a bit of self help Exposure Therapy. (-:

I'm also sorry to read that you werent up to making it into work today. Thats unfortunate, but I do understand. Hopefully next week you will be feeling much better. I would urge you to see your GP as soon as possible though to do a review of your medications. Did you end up making an appointment with your psych?

Hoping for a nice restful evening and a good sleep tonight.

Give that Buddy a little scratch under the chin from me too, wont you? Do you like my new profile pic - this is Holly with ears pricked and watching intently. She will be watching over you and Buddy. Hugs.

Sherie xx

[Music_Freak]

Everything's on my to do list for next week, I hope it's not too much for me to cope with. I guess I can space it out if I need

Buddy's got his spot at my feet (right where my feet SHOULD go :)) and I've given him a scratch under the chin from you, which he loved. Holly looks adorable in your pic, it's a great shot

I think, or I hope my stomach is because I didn't eat much today, I'm hoping it feels better tomorrow, Buddy will wake me up to go outside and breakfast, regardless

[Guest_5218]

Hi there Narelle. I would suggest you dont over load yourself, and just set achievable tasks. So perhaps space things out a little bit. The reason being that you will likely give yourself a hard time if you dont meet targets, and that just isnt constructive. Things are hard enough as it is without having impossible expectations of yourself.

Little steps, remember?

I hope you manage a healthy nourishing breakfast in the morning. Do you have eggs, tomatos, mushrooms, baked beans, etc in the house? If so, make yourself a nice breakfast and then sit down and take the time to enjoy it. Followed by a nice leisurely hot pot of tea. Buddy can have his breakfast at the same time.

Thanks for passing on the chin scratch to Buddy.

Sleep well Narelle, and I trust that tomorrow will be a good day for you. I miss your other profile pic. (-:

Sherie xx

[Wednesday]

Hi Narelle,

Just dropping by to say hello, I hope your day is going well.

Hugs, xx

[Music_Freak]

Its going alright, been dozing with Buddy for most of the morning. I've taken him out twice and am now trying to think of what to have for lunch, it's hard when you don't feel hungry

[Lost_Girl]

Hi Narelle,

I hope you had something to eat. Just think about the nutrients your body needs rather than eating because you're hungry. Take care of yourself, we all care about you lovely xx

[Music_Freak]

Thanks Carol, I've managed to eat a bit, which was a change from my usual daily routine

I've been reading through threads today and wondering if my situation and complaints are trivial compared to what others are dealing/have dealt with. I'm totally feeling like I should just be able to “snap out of it” only I can't

[Lost_Girl]

Hi Narelle,

Don't compare yourself to others lovely, everyone's story is important and no less and no more than others.

It's not possible to just snap out of depression no matter how much we'd all like to. Sometimes we need help from medication and psychs etc.

This is why we keep checking if you've gone to your GP to tell him how you're feeling and what your daily life is like. I am not a medical professional but based on my experience it seems like you need your meds changed to help you out.

We all really care. I just had to start back on ADs again. I got like you where I didn't feel like getting up again. I didn't feel like showering either and I was crying all the time and couldn't stop. The meds have stopped me crying and I am able to get up, showered and I can go out of the house again. I still feel sad about what's happening to me but the meds help me function better. We all want to see you be able to function a little better to, to be able to achieve your goals of volunteering and doing your MYOB course and maybe even being able to meet some new friends.

I am really glad you ate something, giving your body energy is a great first step. Hopefully if you keep it up you will feel less exhausted.

Carol xx