Anyone had to spend days alone without anyone to talk to?

[Hanna3]

Hi all, apart from here and a brief visit to church last night (to make it feel Christmassy and to just be with people) I've had day after day for weeks now with nobody at all to talk to. This time of year especially it's really depressing. Old friends that live far away are gradually losing contact with me - I ring them but they don't ring me. I understand they're busy with their live elsewhere but still it's hard when you're lonely. I'm going to a Christmas Eve service at the local church tomorrow night to at least be with people for a little while... but otherwise all day I'm alone, just me and the dog. Sometimes I strike up a conversation on BB but then the other person disappears and that's the end of that...

How are people meant to cope with prolonged periods of social isolation? I read, I watch DVDs, normally I'd go for long walks with the dog but thick smoke from bushfires and intense hot weather have stopped that. I go to a café alone sometimes. Any ideas/help?

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi Hanna, wave to Paws 🙂

I hope my poem wasn't too depressing. I find it quite lovely. It is a bit of a tease though, when you're so hot there, I see that now haha sorry. I did google looking for a good joke to share, but nothing stood out as funny and I gave up.

Yes, not very good about the whole Housing issue. Whenever they come through here they have a list they have to tick off, and they take lots of compulsory photos, and it's all logged into the system, so I'm not sure how they couldn't have a record of it. (Well, I imagine it's done similarly there). I'd be annoyed. But sorting anything out with them is such a hassle. I've learnt that over the years!

Well I spent most of yesterday in bed, just in a low mood. Nothing to talk about. Just residual feelings about what I went through the end of last year, that I haven't completely come to terms with. Thanks for your concern, and the furry warm hugs. It's quite cool here, so warm hugs are fine by me 🙂

I also started a new series on SBS on Demand, called Twin. It's a new scandi noir so I'm enjoying it so far. My nephew and brother also popped in for a short visit so that cheered me. Nothing like the sweet innocent joy of children to brighten your mood.

Well today seems less like a stay in bed mood. Hopefully a bit of housework and repotting some of my million pot plants haha. See how things pan out.

What's your day look like? Hope you get things sorted with Housing for a bit less stress. Talk later. Katy x

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy, my reply to Paws hasn't come through yet I'm wondering if I inadvertently went over the word length - I sometimes do that. Sorry you're on a downer and feeling low. Your poem was lovely don't worry I was having a bit of a joke there.

Just briefly in case my post doesn't come through, Housing is sorted there was a computer error and I got a Caution on the parking fine so don't have to pay. Yay!

A new Scandi noir sounds wonderful you'll have to tell me how you like it. Take care of yourself today you sound a bit low - do come back later today/tonight and check in and let us know how you are. Hugs from us here xxx

[Hanna3]

Hi again Katy, my reply to Paws (hi Paws!) finally came through so explains what happened with Housing etc.

I hope you feel better soon it's horrible feeling down.

Paws I hope that your mouth isn't hurting too much!

Take care both of you xxx hugs all round from Sam and me

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hiya

Well you have had some good news. Glad you got both sorted. Although I really don't like the way that the supervisor spoke to you, and no, they don't have the right to come through whenever they like! What a power tripper. Disgusting behaviour. Anyway, focus on the positive. No more inspection for some time.

I'm looking forward to watching the tennis shortly. Roger Federer is playing. He's my favourite. Do you watch the tennis at all? I don't really get into the women's tennis, but I do like the mens. I finished my scandi noir series already too. It was pretty good. Really liked the acting. How's yours going? I'll be looking for something else to watch again now.

I managed a small amount of housework but haven't walked miss Stormy today. I feel bad, so might take her for a drive and get some fish and chippies for dinner now before the tennis starts.

Hope your day has gone ok. Sorry to hear it's hot and gross again. Did you look into a portable aircon at all? Hard if money is tight though.

Hugs back at you both, Katy

[Paw Prints]

Hi Hanna, wave to Katy,

Yay!!! Two wins in one day. Happy Dance!! I love the notion that you've been told not to be naughty.

I'm glad you & Sam managed sometime in nature before the heat. We had missed out on all the rain over the past week or so, but tonight it is lightly raining.

The jaw is very achy, so I will take a pain killer soon to give it time to kick in & help with my sleeping. I've been on the couch since I got back & since the wind dropped Woofa has gone off to lie on my bed leaving me here alone. He knows I'm just being sooky, so he's not feeling the need to support me.

I hope your afternoon wasn't too hot, did you manage to start reading the book you borrowed?

Paws

[Guest_4643]

Hi Hanna and everyone else on this forum, I'm Tayla and I'm 20. This is my first time using the forums, so I'm not sure how exactly to use it so please bare with me, my apologies.

I was reading your original post on this thread, and I wanted to say I'm sorry that you feel so lonely, isolated and you're struggling. I know exactly how you feel. I live in a small regional town, about 4,000 or so people. Kind of a town where everyone knows everyone, except I don't. We've only lived here about 2 years I think. It's peaceful, nice scenery and bird life, but that's all I seem to like really.

I didn't have any friends or anything like that where I used to live, but it's worse here. Everyone I know is 3-5 hours away and no one wants to visit, and vice versa, so that's quite sad. I'm unable to do anything because nowhere will accept me and I don't know why, so jobs, groups, every single thing. So I know exactly how you feel, I've tried everything so many times. But yes I'm getting professional help.

For me, I just spend my days going on long walks with my dog, depending on the weather, sometimes I might read or watch a movie (barely, have to be in the mood), colour in or listen to music. Pretty boring I know. Or I'll play a free colour by numbers app on my iPad which is fun because you get rewards for completing certain things on there, and it's quite relaxing and addictive. It's called Happy Colour if you'd like to try it out, it's free and so fun.

I'm sorry that you're struggling and I really hope things get better for you. I wish I could be your friend and hang out with you, because I know exactly how you feel. I've never felt this lonely and isolated in my life. I really hope you find support here & from professionals if you're seeking help, and you get some friends, I mean that in a nice friendly way of course, from the heart. I hope things improve for you real soon, I truly do. I'm sorry you're dealing with all of this.

Maybe you could join some groups on Facebook or something if you have it for your interests, so for example a band you like? Yes they can be bad, but they can be good too - talking to people who have the same interests of all ages around the world & you might build a connection with them. Entirely up to you, just suggestions. I hope you feel better soon.

Love & hugs,

Tayla xo

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws! I'm glad you've taken something for the pain. Thank goodness that's over for you now.

Yes the Revenue Dept emailed me the Caution and basically told me to park properly now and obey the road rules please (ie. behave yourself you've been naughty!) I definitely will as that was nearly a costly mistake!

I started looking at the book on animal companions last night and I wish I could post some of the photographs here, the author goes back through history looking at people and their pets and some of the photographs of little Victorian girls with favourite dogs and even what ancient Roman had written about their beloved pets was fascinating. I wouldn't read it cover to cover but some of it is just delightful.

Elton John is having a big concert here tonight I think all the neighbours have gone, it's a huge event I think I'm almost the only person in town who hasn't gone... it was fun to see how people had dressed to go, all wearing big coloured glasses and wigs etc - I'm sure they'll all have a great time. Tickets were costly and I didn't know anyone who wanted to go. I would have enjoyed the atmosphere though! I don't know why he chose here..

Anyway hope that you're less sore tomorrow. Pats to Woofa who clearly knows you're OK now. Dogs are clever! Best wishes! xx

[Hanna3]

Hi mb20lover,

Well first of all welcome to BB! Did you post on the Welcome and Introduction part at all? People will notice you there and respond. Anyhow glad you've found your way here.

You're very young, may I ask what made you move to the town where you are now? Do you work or study at all? Are you with family or alone?

I understand how very cliquey and hard to break into some towns can be. As you can see from here, I've moved from a small coastal town to an inland bigger town and am missing where I left. This town is big enough that it probably isn't as cliquey as yours is, but it's still difficult to break in at my age (and I'm much older than you).

Are there any social/interest groups there you could join? Do you meet any other dog walkers? Basically these are all the questions I've been asked and also looked for in the town I'm in - and in the town where I used to live. Is your town inland or on the coast? I have a theory that inland towns can be harder to break into than coastal towns which seem to be more laid back and used to tourists and people they don't know coming in.

I had another lady contact me who had moved to a country town and after a year or so moved back she was so lonely and had no friends. Unfortunately she didn't write here again. So it's not just you and me that have this problem that's for sure!

Meeting friends through work or study seems to be the easiest way but I don't know your situation. Can you let us know a bit more about how you've come to be there and a bit more about yourself? What's your dog's name and what sort of dog is he/she? As you can see we are dog lovers here!

We just happened to get chatting here. The BB Café is a good place to go, even just join in some of the silly games like movie titles or 5 letter words etc - after a while you get to know a few "regulars" and it becomes nicer.

Sorry to hear you're going through such a lonely time and yes as you can read, I absolutely know what that is like. It's pretty horrible. So do tell us a bit more about your situation if you'd like so maybe we could help a bit - and do try things like the Café etc. Sometimes it's quiet and other times it's quite busy.

Great that you've come on to BB and it's a good safe place to reach out for some help and support. Hope to hear back from you soon. Take care meanwhile. Hang in there! Cheers.

[Guest_4643]

Hi Hanna, thanks for replying. I didn't think anyone would reply. I haven't checked out the Welcome Forum & BB Cafe yet, but I will. I put a post up of my own, nothing bad, just needing some advice, the moderators put that in the suicide and self harm category, not sure why. No ones replied to it yet. No I'm not studying as I don't have the mental capacity, but I've looked into it and other things, plus other reasons. I'm not sure what I'd like to study either, plus it's so expensive. The free courses near me you need qualifications or had to a certain course beforehand and whatnot which i didn't. We moved up here to live in a more peaceful town really. All the groups here I've been told are for people in their 40s which is unfair, I don't know why, so I feel discrimated against. Stuff like sewing, anything. It's unfair, same with other suburbs around. I live in Regional Victoria so I guess that would be inland? Some days I like the scenery, the bird life and how peaceful it is but other days it really gets to me and I can't control it. No I don't see any dog walkers, or any teenagers or people my age. Well I might see the occasional young person but they don't talk to me, which is hurtful, plus I have social anxiety also. As for a job, no I dont have one, but like everything you've suggested and more, I've tried everything, believe me. Asked every shop in person and said I'm willing to learn, but they won't accept me, and once again I don't know why and feel discriminated against. I have a great GP and psychiatrist I'm happy with though, I'm more comfortable with my Psychiatrist though, not sure why. He's just lovely, everything I want in a professional therapist because I've had so many bad experiences with professionals unfortunately. My Dog's name is Buddy, he's a Fox Terrier and 11 years old in human years. He's my best friend. I used to have a pet Cockatiel called Coco but he passed away a few years ago from illness. I miss him so much and my Grandparents, I grieve for all of them everyday without failure and I love them all so much. I also grieve, love and miss my old dog, a Jack Russell called Jack (I was 5 when I named him haha), & a German Shepherd called Lori (a male). I love all animals so much. I don't really have any hobbies, just walking, listening to music, colouring in basically, that's pretty much all. Thanks again for replying, please check out my post and reply if you can. I hope things improve for you, truly. Sorry this is long

Tayla x

[Guest_4643]

Hi again Hanna,

I replied to your comment yesterday as above.

I hope you're alright, take care xo

Tayla xx