Anyone had to spend days alone without anyone to talk to?

[Hanna3]

Hi all, apart from here and a brief visit to church last night (to make it feel Christmassy and to just be with people) I've had day after day for weeks now with nobody at all to talk to. This time of year especially it's really depressing. Old friends that live far away are gradually losing contact with me - I ring them but they don't ring me. I understand they're busy with their live elsewhere but still it's hard when you're lonely. I'm going to a Christmas Eve service at the local church tomorrow night to at least be with people for a little while... but otherwise all day I'm alone, just me and the dog. Sometimes I strike up a conversation on BB but then the other person disappears and that's the end of that...

How are people meant to cope with prolonged periods of social isolation? I read, I watch DVDs, normally I'd go for long walks with the dog but thick smoke from bushfires and intense hot weather have stopped that. I go to a café alone sometimes. Any ideas/help?

[Paw Prints]

Hello Hanna,

How did you go with your call about the inspections?

I'm hopeless at parties, even some family events. My memory fails me so often, I can never remember what people do to earn a crust, where they live, pretty much anything about their kids & all too often their names (including with family). Not helped by the fact I really need to get a hearing aid & have done for many years. I'm also at a complete loss when it comes to small talk, it's a skill I've never mastered.

I can understand you feeling homesick for the peace & quiet. It sounds like you had a routine that suited you where you were previously. I'm just wondering if perhaps there is somewhere locally (even a short drive) where you could find a peaceful spot (by a river perhaps) & spend sometime each day before it gets to hot, with a book & a thermos of coffee. You could put a long lead on Sam & let him wander/paddle while you sit on a folding chair/rug. A chance to spend an hour or so away from the bustle of town might help you feel less stressed & having an enjoyable routine to start your day may help you feel more settled.

How are you doing with sussing out the who, what, where of doing home/nursing home visits. Are there any nursing homes in your town? Do you know if such visits are co-ordinated by the local council or are they run by local charity/community groups? I get the impression you would benefit just as much as the person you visited.

So far today : pain vs fear of dentist = fear is winning. So I haven't rung one. I do have a Psych appointment in the morning, so I will have to see how I go trying to talk. Pain may win out.

Woofa sends hello slobbers

Pats to Sam

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi there Paws! I was hoping you might have been able to get that molar fixed but I understand not liking the dentist...

I rang Housing this morning they said their records showed I had never had an inspection in November - I described the young woman and he said he thought he knew who it was and would phone me back but of course he hasn't so I'll have to ring again tomorrow. It looks as though she hasn't done her paperworkt! Unfortunately they don't give you anything at the time of inspection, and where I lived before they didn't bother with inspections, so now I know next time to ask for their name and write it down.

It got very hot so I went to my friend's house for some aircon, after that had to do some shopping and then walk Sam so I've just sat down now. We had severe storms but now the air is nice and clear. My friend got back tonight so today was my last chance to get into some aircon for a while...

I would love to find a peaceful place to just sit, that's what I used to do in Coastal Town with a book and a thermos and Sam by the water. I didn't realize just how horrendous the drought is here as everything was under snow when I came out to look... there would be some nice places by the river except that the river is barely a trickle (not enough to cover your toes) and the ground everywhere is dry dust and burrs. The once beautiful countryside is like a lunar landscape. So there is really nowhere nice to go any more until this terrible drought ends and nobody knows when that will be. We've had dust storms constantly since I arrived. The fires have impacted here too with lots of areas just charred.

I know the nursing home visiting would need a police check, but I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately and haven't done anything about it. I really have to pace myself carefully. One stressful phone call in a day (like today) is all I can manage for the day.

I can never remember people's names - as a child my parents were incredibly strict and if I didn't use someone's name correctly I got all hell for it. It took a psych to work out that when someone says their name I am so scared of forgetting it that I dissociate and don't hear it at all! He said that would have been happening when I was a child so no use my parents yelling at me as it just made the trauma and fear worse!

Sorry I haven't got much news today - bit of a quiet day. Sam sends furry hugs to you and Woofa. Little Sam trying to hug a Great Dane would be a sight! xx

[Hanna3]

When I stepped outside last night Little Possum was tucking into the fruit I leave out - what with banana, apple, grapes and carrot he/she is enjoying quite a feast each evening! Nice to see that one creature is getting a decent feed in this awful drought!

I sat out on the verandah at my friend's place today, she has a nicer garden (more trees luckily still alive) and a shady verandah with an old rocking chair on it - it's very soothing sitting on a rocking chair just enjoying the trees and the breeze. I wish my place had a verandah but it has none, an old 1950s fibro. Sam likes lying on the verandah too. Very peaceful. Hope you go well with your psych tomorrow Paws xx

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hello

Sorry you're a bit lonely. I'm in a slump I can't seem to climb out of so I'm not much help. I can't even think of anything to say. Oh dear. I might just pop one of my favourite poems below. Hugs to you and Sam x

The day is cold, and dark, and dreary;
It rains, and the wind is never weary;
The vine still clings to the mouldering wall,
But at every gust the dead leaves fall,
And the day is dark and dreary.

My life is cold, and dark, and dreary;
It rains, and the wind is never weary;
My thoughts still cling to the mouldering Past,
But the hopes of youth fall thick in the blast,
And the days are dark and dreary.

Be still, sad heart! and cease repining;
Behind the clouds is the sun still shining;
Thy fate is the common fate of all,
Into each life some rain must fall,
Some days must be dark and dreary.

- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

[Hanna3]

Thanks for that Katy - although I confess dark and dreary would be preferable to the horrendous heatwave coming our way from tomorrow on... oh help.

Sorry you are in a slump. I've hit a whopper too so we're both feeling crook! I feel like I'll go mad if I stay here any longer I've never been so alone for months - and so bored and hot.

All I can say is eventually we get out of these slumps but they're absolutely horrible while they last aren't they? You take care of yourself and I'll try and take care of myself (and poor Sam who always thinks it's his fault somehow... poor guy). Hugs from him to you and me both!

[Paw Prints]

Hello Hanna, wave to Katy,

I think you're wise limiting the stressful things to do in a day, the visiting people will still be an option whenever you feel up to organising it.

You don't seem able to take a trick at present, do you. You get access to air con just as you hit a cooler period & then you lose it just as it starts to heat up again. Now you have housing not following through like they should. It's not surprising you're in a slump given what the last few months have been like for you.

Poor Sam thinking your slump is his fault. I'm forever surprised how well dogs can read us & know when we are down. Does he follow you around trying to make up to you or does he stay on his bed out of the way.

Saw my Psych this morning, spent most of the session talking about her trip to a Buddhist retreat in India which she's just back from & her impending trip to Thailand.

Pain has won, I have an appointment with the dentist for tomorrow. I wish I could take Woofa for support.

Hugs

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi there Paws! I was hoping you'd come by...

Thanks for making me almost chuckle, yes I must have a list a mile long now of Things Gone Wrong Since I Moved Here - including only getting the aircon during a cool spell!

Have phoned Housing three times in three days, three different people have promised to ring back and haven't done so. All I know is they say there is no record of my previous inspection although they know which staff member came here that day. So tomorrow I phone and ask for a supervisor I guess and try to find out what on earth's going on. I get the feeling they're covering up a stuff up... well obviously it is since I did have the inspection... it's just so intrusive and means I have to stay in the house for hours when it's baking hot next week and wait for someone to come in and check the place out yet again. I don't cope very well with strangers coming in and looking around my home it's such an invasion of privacy...

I'm not sure if your psych talking about her trip away was really useful or was it? It doesn't sound like what you would have needed to discuss, shouldn't it be about you? Or was it interesting?

Good luck tomorrow with the tooth, I hate feeling trapped in a dentist's chair so can understand how much you must not be looking forward to the visit. Will try to send some positive vibes your way!!!

Sam reads my every mood, dogs are amazing aren't they? He follows me around and tries to curl up in my lap. He's always frightened he's done something to cause my mood poor thing. I reassure him and cuddle him, then he just seems to understand I need comfort and cuddles up next to me or on my lap. Does Woofa read your moods too? I can't imagine a Great Dane could curl up in your lap too easily!

I just found a book in the library this afternoon called Animal's Companion - People and their Pets, a 26,000-year-old Love Story and it looks marvellous about people and their dogs especially. I'm looking forward to having a read. It was on the display shelf of new books when I walked in - with a lovely dog on the cover how could I resist borrowing it?

Am really sending good wishes for tomorrow and getting that molar fixed! Pats to Woofa! Let me know tomorrow how you got on won't you. Take care xx

[Hanna3]

Oh and thanks for being kind enough to send the poem Katy it's rather lovely isn't it? And do take care of yourself and let me know how you're going. Is it anything you want to talk about or private? Furry warm hugs from Sam (actually in this weather they're very warm hugs...) xx

[Paw Prints]

Hi Hanna,

I'm back from the dreaded dentist with a numb face & with one less tooth than I went in with. It was so badly broken it needed to come out.

I don't get why it is so hard for housing to confirm the earlier visit. Surely staff have to fill in reports of where they went & what they saw, plus account for their hours away from the office. Like you I hate having strangers in my home & having them look throughout would send my anxiety into overdrive.

Woofa does read my moods, but he didn't get the memo about Great Danes not fitting on laps. He likes to back up & sit on my lap. Usually when I'm down he stays close. Though at the moment he is staying close because he is a big scaredy cat. We have very strong northerlies here & he is spooked by them.

Let me know what you think of the book, it sounds like it could be very interesting.

My Psych is a fairly new one for me I've only seen her 4 times & I'm still not sure about her. When she was talking of her time away she was talking about ideas she picked up that she felt could be included in her therapy sessions, as well as just how much she enjoyed it.

I hope you actually get a straight answer from housing. Fingers & paws crossed you have a win.

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws,

I suspected a broken tooth would have to come out - I've had to have two out and a dental plate made which was beyond awful. Once the numbness wears off did they tell you to take some Panadol or something like that to help? Brave you for going along and getting through it!

I love the description of Woofa backing up to plonk on your lap! I'm gad he stays close when you're a bit off. Dogs are wonderful companions and I'm sure they know us and our moods backwards...

Some good news finally here! I rang and asked for a supervisor at Housing this morning and asked what was happening. Well she was really rude and said to me "We can visit you as often as we want to, do you get it? As often as we want to!" (I don't know why I should be spoken to so rudely). However she then put me through to the young woman who did the inspection and she was much nicer and apologized there had been an error and her report had gone through to the wrong place and she's corrected it and no need for the inspection next week and they only do them once a year. Phew. But I'm still upset at the way I was spoken to by the supervisor who hadn't checked what had happened.

Second bit of good news, I got off the parking fine with a Caution. I think my 47 years of driving without any infringements clinched it. So I don't have to pay the $268 thank heavens. They basically just wrote and told me not to be a naughty girl again...!

Very hot here, took Sam to the park this morning as it was nice under the shade trees and I had a cup of take away tea while he lay on the grass and had a few rolls in it - then I did some quick grocery shopping and now home for a rather boring hot afternoon. Heatwave looks to worsen and go on for at least two weeks that I can see. Oh help.

I hope the new Psych turns out to suit you. Meanwhile rest up after an awful dentist appointment (having a tooth out is unpleasant) and take some painkiller once the anaesthetic wears off won't you. Heaps of good wishes from me and Sam to you both there xxx