Anyone had to spend days alone without anyone to talk to?

[Hanna3]

Hi all, apart from here and a brief visit to church last night (to make it feel Christmassy and to just be with people) I've had day after day for weeks now with nobody at all to talk to. This time of year especially it's really depressing. Old friends that live far away are gradually losing contact with me - I ring them but they don't ring me. I understand they're busy with their live elsewhere but still it's hard when you're lonely. I'm going to a Christmas Eve service at the local church tomorrow night to at least be with people for a little while... but otherwise all day I'm alone, just me and the dog. Sometimes I strike up a conversation on BB but then the other person disappears and that's the end of that...

How are people meant to cope with prolonged periods of social isolation? I read, I watch DVDs, normally I'd go for long walks with the dog but thick smoke from bushfires and intense hot weather have stopped that. I go to a café alone sometimes. Any ideas/help?

[Paw Prints]

Hi Hanna3,

Oh you poor things, I had hoped the cool change would give you a few days reprieve from the heat & smoke. Thankfully for me it doesn’t get as hot here as you have been having. We will be back up in the high 30s by the end of the week then another change is due over the weekend. You’re not the only one counting down the days to Autumn, anything over 20 is too hot for me.

I have a shallow birdbath for the local fairy wrens but being shallow does mean it needs constant monitoring. After all the rain we had over spring most of the dams hereabouts are still full & the creeks still have water so the local wildlife here are managing really well. There is still plenty of feed here too. The last few summers the dams were low or empty by mid January so it is a nice change. There is a dam in the neighbours paddock next to my house & a national park across the road so I get to see a lot of the local wildlife & birdlife coming & going.

My last lost the end. I had also searched for feeding wildlife in drought, there were some good sites with helpful info on what wildlife can eat safely & how to feed different animals. Somethings I hadn’t thought of such as putting food in different types of trees to feed different types of animals & putting water down low for lizards, echidnas etc.

I’ve not been doing much of anything lately, my mh hasn’t been good so I’ve basically been cocooning. Woofa seems to know when I’m down & tends to stay close.

Were you living in the UK or holidaying when you were last in Wales? It’s ok if you don’t want to say.

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws, sorry to hear you haven't been too good lately. All the bad news on TV doesn't help either I know I have to be careful how much I watch. So hot today I'll be going into the shopping mall for some aircon and hoping poor Sam is OK with a fan going and ice water, it's a worry when he's not a young dog and had been sick in the past. Trouble is if I get sick there's nobody to look after him!

I think the drought here is so severe that helping a possum or two is OK, I'm careful to give them fruit they like not things like bread that would make them sick. The birds love the birdbath and if I had any grass I'd put a low dish out for lizards etc (with a couple of small rocks so they can reach it) but the back yard is just dirt now as all the grass has died from the drought and we cannot water gardens here as the water restrictions are extreme.

I was only visiting the UK years ago I did a trip around, would love to go back but cannot afford it! I remember how emerald green everything was, stunning.

You sound like me and Sam - when we came here to look at the house it was snowing and at minus 7 degrees Sam was running around the park here like crazy thinking it was wonderful! We didn't know the summers had become like this, but even this is extreme according to anyone I ask.

I'm off to give Sam a bath to cool him down and then hunker down in the mall again and read for a couple of hours, boring and not comfy but the only way I seem to be able to cope - then back to care for Sam.

Take care Paws, do post again if you feel like it, I'm sorry to hear you're not great at the moment, let's hope when Autumn comes we'll all feel better...

Furry hugs from Sam to you and Woofa!

[Hanna3]

Hi again Paws,

I'm back from my two hours sitting in aircon in the mall and gave Sam a bath this morning which made him feel much better!

I noticed a post somewhere just now (I hope you don't mind, I happened upon it) where you mention you were the odd one out as a child and didn't matter much. I was the youngest by 6 and 7 years behind my two brothers and the only girl. For some reason my brothers have always hated me. They have always belittled me and seen me as a laughing stock. I went to a psych for ages but it wasn't until I read a book about narcissistic mothers that I realised that was the problem with my mother - whatever I did was wrong - if I did well at school she'd tell me I was stupid, if I did badly in a maths test (not my best subject!) she would scream and then refuse to speak to me for days. So I had that as well.

I grew up with absolutely no self esteem and socially extremely anxious. I've struggled with being lonely all my life. Now I've made a terrible decision and I am more of a mess than ever.

However I posted this because I wanted to say I can absolutely understand how awful childhood memories can be and how much they can affect us all through life. I was assaulted by a workman on a neighbouring house when I was six, and again when I was twelve (long story) and have never felt safe again. In another town I lived in not that long ago I had a man stalk me and that was terrible - and I'm not young!

My little guy Sam is the one companion I have had and I don't know how I would have coped without him. He's eight now and nearly died of a liver problem before I came here. I love him to bits. I have no doubt Woofa is the same for you. We love our pets so much don't we and they give us such love and comfort.

I just wanted to say I can understand at least having awful childhood problems, and how much they impact on the rest of your life. I'm beating myself up for my mistake moving here, but suspect behind it is the silly belief somewhere that I'll somehow be a different - and improved person - in a new place.

So dear Paws, I am so grateful to you and a couple of others here who have been such a support to me, and if I can offer you any help/support/understanding I am here for you.

I truly hope you can feel a bit better soon. Do know that I am thinking of you and will give Sam a special hug for you tonight. Take care my friend and pats to Woofa from us here xx

[Paw Prints]

Hi Hanna3,

I can imagine how lovely it must have looked in the snow. It's crazy that somewhere that gets snow can also get the high temperatures you have been getting. That the summers are milder where it snows (with the odd hot patch) is something I have always assumed.

I think it's wonderful you're feeding the possums. I couldn't imagine being in a drought affected area & doing nothing. So many wildlife shelters are dealing with animals impacted by the drought. A wombat refuge which my sister has been supporting for many years has been putting out roo pellets & hay in the bush for the last few years, just to keep the local populations going.

I have "the mystery of the disappearing water" happening here. My birdbath has, every now & then, the last month or so, gone from being full in the evening to empty in the morning. I'm thinking that the culprits may be the wallabies who like to wander into my yard to munch on my grass and that now, having discovered the birdbath, they are helping themselves instead of hopping a hundred or so yards to the dam next door.

The green in the UK is gorgeous isn't it. I also loved the softer light without the glare we get here. I have a niece & her hubby currently holidaying over there, I messaged them they could have offered to smuggle me over in their suitcases. Their reply mentioned weight restrictions on baggage. 😁

I hope you feel refreshed from the cool in the mall

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws,

I'm sorry if my last post was inappropriate, you haven't mentioned it so I think it must have been and I apologise for that.

I think what happens to my birdbath is that the birds bathe in it before I am up in the morning!

I am hopeful a friend here who has aircon may be going to the city for a few days either tomorrow or the next day, in which case Sam and I will be able to use her house during the day which has aircon - bliss! She's letting me know tomorrow.

Yes I only realised when I went to England how much our fierce sun bleaches out the colours in things - I remember being stunned at how brilliant the colours of the roses was, and that our trees are more grey than the green over there.

Glad you are cooler than us here. Yes the climate here never used to have such summers, apparently it's happened in the last few years - unfortunately I didn't know and nobody mentioned it to me!

[Hanna3]

Paws, it was nice last night when I went to sit on the back steps as it's cooler outside than in, and I startled possum who was busy tucking into the fruit I'd left. I must have startled him/her because it took off up the tree with a large piece of banana safely clutched in one paw!

It must have come back later as all the fruit had gone when I checked next morning. Good!

[Paw Prints]

Hello Hanna3,

You haven't offended. My last seems to have been delayed appearing as when I posted it your last was that you were off to wash Sam & head to the mall.

Thank you for reaching out & sharing your life. Its horrible when our feeling of being safe is taken from us. It is one of the reasons I moved here. My family doesn't understand how I can feel safer here than in town, but because of things that happened not only in my childhood but later, I was on high alert all the time in town because there were always people around & so many triggers. Though I don't think I will ever feel safe again, it is easier here.

Your move has had such a very rough start compounded by the holiday closures I'm not surprised you are struggling to feel it was the right thing. It is still possible that when things re-open & it gets cooler you may find a niche there that fits you. Please don't blame yourself if it isn't working. You made the best choice you could with the information you had, there is not a person on earth who can do more than that. Keep reminding yourself that you don't have to be there forever if it doesn't work.

You won't know yourself being in air con for a few days. I do think they might notice if you try to take it home when you leave though.

Woofa says ta muchly for the pats. He wanted to send thank you slobbers but I said no.

Hugs

Paws

[blondguy]

Hi Hanna

Thankyou for taking the time to post back and understanding about some people that walk their dogs off a lead.....Its such a pain....and my dog is huge and been attacked twice....grr

Just a helpful note if I can....I addressed a member as a male back in 2016 when she was female....yet her screen name wasnt helpful as it was gender neutral which made 'her' posts difficult to address. Your post to Dools was caring and thoughtful...Nice1 Hanna!

Its up to the member you replied to, to make their screen name somewhat comfortable to respond to....Its only my humble opinion if thats okay Hanna 🙂

I dont envy what you are going through Hanna with the smoke and heat....You mentioned 'not fighting' what you are going through..It took me years to understand the benefits of what you are doing now...

Excuse I if someone has covered this in your thread Hanna......do you have a P2 mask(s) for the smoke?

my kind thoughts

Paul

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws, actually after I wrote Sam sends furry hugs to Woofa I realized what a sight it would be - my fluffy little fella trying to hug a Great Dane! A bit of a stretch for little Sam...

I know all about triggers I have to be careful of them too. I think it's why I like being around nature I find it soothing and calming. So many people turned out to be unsafe that my warm furry doggie is always dependable and has been such a help. I think where you are sounds lovely. I definitely am not a hot weather person, I like cool and fresh - as long as I can put on a jacket and go for a good walk I am happy, so this weather doesn't suit me or Sam at all. It definitely isn't what I expected, what a shock!

Glad I didn't say the wrong thing I was a bit worried I'd overstepped the mark. I enjoy peace and quiet and being just by myself with Sam (and a good book usually) outdoors. It was what I liked when I lived on the coast - just going out to sit by the water under the trees with a book and a thermos of coffee and Sam and me together.

When I lived here (for two years long long ago when it was green and the summers were cool) I used to have a favourite valley some miles from here - I'd just drive out there and sit and listen to the birds and trees and the lambs bleating in the valley below, it was glorious. I guess the drought and heat have spoiled all that for now. I will have to hope they come back again... I couldn't drive out there again now, it would spoil my memories of how beautiful it once was. Oh for rain and cool weather and green grass again!

My friend hasn't confirmed that she's going to Sydney tomorrow, I do hope she goes after that (it sounds awful to wish a friend away like that doesn't it) but I do oh so want the peace of her house and the cool aircon for Sam and me for a couple of days! It's like a holiday for us.

Have a good evening Paws it's getting late, another (hot) day tomorrow... take care.

[Paw Prints]

Hello Hanna3,

I'm so sorry you're struggling so badly.... I saw on your other post how much trouble you are having trying to access a decent GP or support where you are.... I can't believe they cut your meds.... Lass have you tried ringing the BB support no. 1300 224 636.... I would think they would be able to give you contact details for a decent GP in your town.... They should also be able to connect you with the appropriate section of the mental health unit which covers your area.... I know some other ladies here on BB who live in NSW have mental health workers who call on them.... go with them to the shops.... meet up for a cuppa. The mental health units may also help you navigate moving somewhere more suitable.... they usually can help access charities/Govt supports which may cover moving costs....etc

I understand your being scared to go out without Sam.... I hate going anywhere without woofa.... more than once I've left my shopping trolley in an aisle & gone to sit with him when I've been overwhelmed while shopping.

I really hope your friend has gone & you are luxuriating in air con bliss.

Hugs

Paws