Anyone had to spend days alone without anyone to talk to?

[Hanna3]

Hi all, apart from here and a brief visit to church last night (to make it feel Christmassy and to just be with people) I've had day after day for weeks now with nobody at all to talk to. This time of year especially it's really depressing. Old friends that live far away are gradually losing contact with me - I ring them but they don't ring me. I understand they're busy with their live elsewhere but still it's hard when you're lonely. I'm going to a Christmas Eve service at the local church tomorrow night to at least be with people for a little while... but otherwise all day I'm alone, just me and the dog. Sometimes I strike up a conversation on BB but then the other person disappears and that's the end of that...

How are people meant to cope with prolonged periods of social isolation? I read, I watch DVDs, normally I'd go for long walks with the dog but thick smoke from bushfires and intense hot weather have stopped that. I go to a café alone sometimes. Any ideas/help?

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy, good to hear from you. I saw elsewhere you nearly bought a book today, anything good? We're in for an awful heatwave for the rest of the week at least and no aircon here eeek. Yes I am longing for autumn when Sam will feel more energised and I hope more like going out and enjoying a walk (and me too).

Off topic I got chatting to a RFS volunteer today she was just back from the fires in the mountains near here, she said they are expecting the fires to head this way during the week. She checked my address and said I will be OK but not houses on the outskirts of town. She said in the mountains it's terrible there's not a tree left standing, everything has been obliterated. It was so beautiful...

Has Stormy ever had separation anxiety? My little guy is an anxious little fellow but loves company. I think the heat and smoke aren't helping anything and from what the RFS volunteer said, we are in for a lot more. Guess we are lucky to be fairly safe here. Take care Katy Christmas is over thank goodness I was relived to get to the shops today and have people around for a while!

[Hanna3]

Paws I couldn't resist Googling pics of great danes and there are some terrific pics of them on couches! How do you both fit on - or does he have his own couch???

[Hanna3]

Hi Dools, yep I looked around for a dog walking group but couldn't find anything. I hadn't thought of putting a notice up I suppose I could put one up at the vet's - they have a notice board there.

Yes I find the forum helps a lot just some of the silly stuff like movie names and silly jokes! And it's good to get to "know" a few regulars too! So far the BB forums have been a real help to me. Thanks for posting!

[Doolhof]

Hi Hanna3,

That is a great idea asking at the Vet's if you can put up a notice about a dog walking group. They may know of some groups already.

I have heard of people putting a message up on a local Facebook page and asking if people want to meet for a walk. Apparently some groups have been started that way.

I'm searching for things to do in my own area while regular groups shut down for the festive season. Might check out Facebook and local notice boards myself.

Hope you find some connections and also activities you can enjoy by yourself.

I sometimes go to the library and check out the craft book section. I don't usually end up making anything though. Maybe I could start to make things for Christmas gifts for next year!

Cheers to you from Dools

[Hanna3]

Hi Dools, I'd joined a book club and a choir before Christmas but only had a chance to go once or twice before they stopped until the end of January so yes the long break means a lot of time alone. I got out CDs from the library for learning to speak French - but I've been too lazy to listen to them! Maybe it's the heat plus depression at being alone and homesick. Good luck with the craft I've always been hopeless at those things!

I think the dog walking will probably be off over this time of year too - so many people here take their holidays now and go to the coast, plus the extreme heatwaves... oh well I'm watching lots of DVDs... and trying to think up new games indoors to amuse Sam. Good luck!

[Doolhof]

Hi Hanna,

Hope you can reconnect with these groups once they start up again.

What kind of books do you like to read? I like to read about people's travel stories, their experiences with different cultures and some adventure stories. I am not into violence.

I assisted a lady years ago who was in her 90s and she enjoyed reading horror and thrillers. No gentle romance stories for her!

Do you have a favourite author?

I'm working both days of the weekend so will find people at work to chat with.

Cheers to you from Dools

[Hanna3]

Hi Dools, I have heaps of favourite authors but I seem to have read everything they've written - now looking for something new to read! I mostly like fiction but I find most guys seem to prefer non-fiction. Looks like a week ahead of quiet days indoors this heatwave is really bad. There have been articles about how shut in people are getting due to smoke and or heatwaves this summer. I'd go and sit in the library and read or go sit in a café but my poor little dog suffers in this heat so I have to keep a careful eye on him. I have the TV going for some background noise/company...

[Paw Prints]

Hi Hanna3,

Have you tried a lick mat, they can be frozen which not only makes them last longer but is great on a hot day. You can use low fat things like mushed up sardines, salmon, tuna etc/bananas,berries/pumpkin, sweet potato/eggs/ dog food or basically whatever you can think of. They have been shown to help lower stress levels, it's best to start using them supervised just to make sure he won't chew it.

When trying to desensitize a dog with separation anxiety the usual starting point is to not to fuss over the dog either when leaving, but even just as important when returning. This means don't react to your dog when you get home if it is in any way excited, ignore it & only say hello when it is calm with all 4 paws on the ground. when leaving keep your interactions low key.

It also helps to disconnect the "getting ready to leave" signs they pick up on from you actually leaving. This means getting dressed as if you are leaving, get your bag, keys etc then go sit on the couch for awhile, do this often over a few days then step it up, do the going out routine, go out the door & come straight back in. Mix it up. Slowly increase the time between your leaving the house coming back in, start with seconds build to minutes, then move to starting the car, then to driving down the driveway, then slowly build the time you drive away. Again start small, build up the time & vary it as you increase doing some very brief between the increasing ones. If he gets too stressed go back a step, it varies between individual dogs as to how long it takes to work.

I know many dane owners with dogs that have separation anxiety have had success by using the NILIF training program (nothing in life is free ) if you google it check out a few sites as not all are well informed.

Hope this gives you some things to think about trying

Paws

[Paw Prints]

Hi Hanna3,

Great Danes have no idea that they aren't lap dog size. My boy has his own beds but also shares the couch and since we moved here he sleeps on my bed (that should be hogs the bed). They can fit themselves into surprisingly small spaces. They are known for leaning on any nearby human or backing up & sitting on any lap that's available. My boy loves sitting on my lap, it can make watching telly interesting, I can also find my legs have gone numb when I try to stand. Like all danes he loves doing zoomies at full speed usually in a figure 8 or just a simple circle. My boy knows zoomies must be done outside (I have seen holes in friends walls caused by zoomies indoor).

Paws

[Hanna3]

Thanks Paws I haven't heard of a lick mat but there is a dog store here in town so it might be worth a look there...

Yes I've tried getting shoes on, picking up car keys, then just sitting down etc etc, so far no effect he still is acutely anxious. The best thing seems to be hiding treats around the house for him to find while I slip out the door - a trick a friend where I used to live put me on to. I don't make any fuss when I get back in, I say hi then ignore him until I've put my things down and after that he gets a small treat.

Today went out without him as it was too hot for him to be in a car, came back and sat outside listening, no barking but it may have been just due to him being too hot!

Will Google that site you mention and see what it has to say, thanks for that. He's pretty exhausted from heat and smoke today and it's too hot to walk him except to stroll in the park early or late - we're in the mid-40s over the next week and with no aircon he needs quite a lot of care as this fibro house is like an oven.

Really appreciate your input thanks - I suspect it's been such an ongoing problem and a result of trauma that I doubt I'll get him to be completely calm, but at least mitigating his anxiety would be terrific. I'll keep working on it!