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Sophie_M Welcome to the Grief and Loss section
  • replies: 27

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to ... View more

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but it can help to allow yourself to: share your grief, and let others support you. This forum category is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you, providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and anniversaries, and honour the memories of your lost loved ones. Please be aware that threads in this forum may contain discussions of self-harm and suicide.

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EllieB85 lost..alone..need advice/a point in the right direction
  • replies: 2

Not sure if anyone will read this, but really don't know where else to turn for advice. I am a 28yr old mother to 1, and am about to embark on a very much unwanted separation from my fiance. After going through post natal depression and making it out... View more

Not sure if anyone will read this, but really don't know where else to turn for advice. I am a 28yr old mother to 1, and am about to embark on a very much unwanted separation from my fiance. After going through post natal depression and making it out on the other side, my fiance and I have come to the realisation that after all of my drama/anxiety/depression, we are no longer in love. Hence my next battle, I can feel myself slipping back down into that darkness, but with all of the other things I need to arrange, I dont have time to focus on that. Im sure others have been through a separation, but I dont know where to start. We have built a home which wont sell high enough to cover our loan, I wish I could stay in the house, but that is also unviable. My son starts school next year and I want him zoned for a certain school, but not knowing what my next step is, I cant enrol him anywhere. I work full time and require the support of my fiance, but he seems to have vacated the whole 'family' and doesnt care about anything. I am sure I need legal, financial, mental help.. but where do I start? Can anyone tell me that they did make it out on the other side of a similar situation? At the moment I feel like I am drowning and there is no light at the end of this extremely long tunnel. Thankyou in advance for any help

Dad_Matt I lost my 9 year old son. I can't cope.
  • replies: 10

We have our sons funeral on Monday. It's been 2 weeks since he passed away suddenly. I am so angry. A dad should be able to look after their children. I have a beautiful wife and 2 other boys. But I just can't cope. I can't sleep. I can't eat. And I ... View more

We have our sons funeral on Monday. It's been 2 weeks since he passed away suddenly. I am so angry. A dad should be able to look after their children. I have a beautiful wife and 2 other boys. But I just can't cope. I can't sleep. I can't eat. And I other than these view lines of insure I can't talk about how deeply broken I am. I feel like something is gonna give.

bethany-mc A year on.
  • replies: 1

Nearly a year ago I was raped, and I fell pregnant. As soon as my family found out, they sent me to the doctors and I got an abortion. I think about my little girl every day, and how much it hurts. I'll never get to hold her in my arms, kiss her, cud... View more

Nearly a year ago I was raped, and I fell pregnant. As soon as my family found out, they sent me to the doctors and I got an abortion. I think about my little girl every day, and how much it hurts. I'll never get to hold her in my arms, kiss her, cuddle her, nurture her. It's the most pain I've ever been through and although my boyfriend tries to help me through it, I'll never forget her.

Simone1974 My mum passed away late last year, finding it difficult to get on with life
  • replies: 6

My mum passed away late last year. I've really tired to get on with my life but I'm finding it extremely difficult. I seem to go through good and bad patches. Lately I've been feeling worse and worse. I'm just so depressed and exhausted all of the ti... View more

My mum passed away late last year. I've really tired to get on with my life but I'm finding it extremely difficult. I seem to go through good and bad patches. Lately I've been feeling worse and worse. I'm just so depressed and exhausted all of the time. I am on anti depressants and something to help me sleep and I don't even know if they are working or not. Just feeling horrible and I don't know what to do.

Light9 When is enough enough?
  • replies: 3

I have grown up in a household with extreme mental illnesses. Both my older sister and mother are bi polar and sister is schizophrenic also. I have never received the protection I needed or deserved. My father cares for both of them and is very close... View more

I have grown up in a household with extreme mental illnesses. Both my older sister and mother are bi polar and sister is schizophrenic also. I have never received the protection I needed or deserved. My father cares for both of them and is very close with both of them, all 3 have violent and aggressive/manipulative controlling ways. I have lived away for at least 10 years now. The last visit home (6 months ago) I was pregnant. I lost my child 2 weeks later after I was taken away in a mental health van (which my family called for). They could see I was perfectly sane and had the wrong person. My parents want to visit me suddenly this year (they have never visited me in 10 years before, I must visit them. I have told my sister I do not want contact anymore and I really don't want to see my parents either. I don't know what to do. I have been very suicidal and alone for many years.beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Slrau My brother
  • replies: 3

6 weeks ago my life was turned upside down when my little brother took his own life. It came as a huge shock to me as there was no sign that he was suicidal at all. He was my only brother and just being the two of us, we were very close, I don't unde... View more

6 weeks ago my life was turned upside down when my little brother took his own life. It came as a huge shock to me as there was no sign that he was suicidal at all. He was my only brother and just being the two of us, we were very close, I don't understand how I never picked something was up. He tried to call me the night he ended it all at midnight but I didn't answer his call, I will never forgive myself! He had rang me often in the middle of the night just to wake me up, he thought it was funny. I assumed this was another one of those calls and thought I'd just speak to him in the morning. I will never speak to him again. I have 3 children, the youngest just 12 weeks old, whom he adored and they loved there uncle dearly. He was only 28. He was handsome, had a good job, no debts, great friends and had just started seeing a girl he seemed really keen on. I don't understand. Some of his friends have since come forward and said they think he suffered from anxiety and looking back on things he hadn't been himself for a little while, maybe he had a bit of depression. He was just so good at hiding it because like I said, I had no idea that things were this bad! I guess I'm just writing this to hear from anyone who has been in a similar position. I am devastated.

longers81 lost the love of my life!
  • replies: 4

hi,I'm 33 I've been in a relationship with a girl for the last two years she was from perth i was from sydney.last year in may we broke up i came home but we kept talking and we kept seeing each other through out the year id go there she would come t... View more

hi,I'm 33 I've been in a relationship with a girl for the last two years she was from perth i was from sydney.last year in may we broke up i came home but we kept talking and we kept seeing each other through out the year id go there she would come to sydney.she moved back in with me in december and everything was going amazing! then she cheated on me with some one she was seeing in perth when we had broken up and is now saying she has fallen out of love with me.and two days before this guy got to sydney we were so in love like i have never felt before i wanted to marry this girl.now she is saying she is going back to perth to be with this guy.im beyond devastated I'm so upset i don't know what to do? I'm so in love with her and i can't live without her she is leaving next week but already she dosent want to talk to me i don't know how this has happened I'm so lost and i miss her so much it hurts!!! every morning my alarm goes off and my first thought isn't **** i have to get up for work,its another day without the girl of my dreams! i can't sleep properly I am constantly thinking of her and them being together I'm going crazy! i really feel on day we will be together but maybe I'm dreaming.im sure people fall back in love and one day I'm going to get her to fall in love with me again. or maybe I'm just dreaming again please help

tap78 confused and lonely
  • replies: 2

Hi All Will try keep this as short as possible just felt this was a good way to vent. I have recently separated from my wife of 10 years ( 10 year anniversary is tomorrow ) we have been together for 13 years and have 2 amazing kids 10 and 14. I know ... View more

Hi All Will try keep this as short as possible just felt this was a good way to vent. I have recently separated from my wife of 10 years ( 10 year anniversary is tomorrow ) we have been together for 13 years and have 2 amazing kids 10 and 14. I know the numbers don't add up my eldest is not biologically mine however I have been her father since she was 12 months old with no contact from her real father. My wife has cheated on me in the past with what I thought was a friend of mine and at that time I chose to forgive and move on which wasn't easy but we got through it. the separation happened when I got suspicious of her friendship with another man who again was right under my nose pretending to be a friend. i didn't want to believe it could be happening again so i shrugged it off for a few days until i finally checked the phone records and noticed all the text messages up to 33 in one day as well as the odd late night phone call. when i finally confronted her she denied everything at first until i told her what i knew then shrugged it of and said it doesn't matter because she was going to talk to me on the weekend anyway. the last year of our marriage has been hard with financial issues me working 2 jobs and her working casual as well so we didn't get as much time together as we would have liked and i had noticed her mood swings getting worse and worse with the smallest things setting her off to a point where she was in tears. I have tried to get her to talk to someone about her emotional instability as she herself has told me she thinks she is suffering from depression however she would not take that step. I have noticed the personality changes even more so now since the separation as one minute she is telling me she is sorry she has done this and hates that she has hurt me and within minutes it changes to abuse over money or the kids. I am left confused wondering what to do. I will always care for her and although i know we can never go back i still want to help her overcome her mental issues but i feel she is still manipulating me while still pursuing a relationship with the other man. I know we can never go back but just don't know how to move on. Thanks for listening to my rant any advise or personal experiences are welcome.

troybeez The Pain of still loving someone after they've gone...
  • replies: 2

Hello people, In 2010 I met the most wonderful girl you could ever meet, it literally was love at first sight, and within a very short time we were living together, we were best friends, which turned to lovers, which turned to soul mates, yet still b... View more

Hello people, In 2010 I met the most wonderful girl you could ever meet, it literally was love at first sight, and within a very short time we were living together, we were best friends, which turned to lovers, which turned to soul mates, yet still best friends, if that makes sense. We were happy and although she has severe mental health issues and physical health issues, it did not take anything away from the relationship, I became her carer, we were together all the time...it was like a dream come true for me after two rather toxic marriages. Then the day came in October last year when her 14 year old son made allegations about me and DOCS / the Police got involved and overnight, almost four years of love and happiness was gone. I had to leave with very little and have pretty much been living out of a suitcase since. We had a little contact after this time, however that has now ceased and I've heard on the grapeview that she has moved on and has a new partner already. This has totally destroyed me and I still to this day think about her every single day...I miss her, our coffees together, our going for drives, our medical appointments, our snuggling on the lounge watching a DVD, the smell of her hair at night time...the list goes on. She is still the last person I think of at night and the first person I think of in the morning... How do you ever get over that? I realise that with the legal crap that is going on it makes it hard, but if I win, would we ever be friends again? I get lonely at times and just sit and cry and wonder why...I used to send her an "I love you text" every morning and every night even though we lived together...and I so want to still do that, but I know I can't. I am only 44 and feel so lost, I am scared I will be alone for the rest of my life. I still love her so much and really want only to be with her, is it wrong to love someone who perhaps does not love you? We never got to have closure and the relationship ended not because of anything we did, but the circumstance of others being involved...I really don't know how to deal with this all...am feeling so fragile right now. I did try to end it all in November last year and couldn't even do that right! Any suggestions / advice / ideas / comments?? Thanks ~troybeez~

sparkles falling apart
  • replies: 5

Hi,I'm new on this forum. Im 30 years old and suffer from depression, anxiety and an eating disorder. I currently work 4 days a week as an enrolled nurse and have only been in employment for the last two years due to my mental health and getting thro... View more

Hi,I'm new on this forum. Im 30 years old and suffer from depression, anxiety and an eating disorder. I currently work 4 days a week as an enrolled nurse and have only been in employment for the last two years due to my mental health and getting through study. I have been in a relationship now for 4 and a half years and am engaged. This has been my first serious relationship. Things are not going very well at all at the moment. My partner is under a lot of financial stress and while he has been working has not been able to obtain full time employment in the last year and abit. At the moment I pay for the bills and groceries and he pays for the mortgage. The car and house are not insured. Due to my mental health I am not able to work fulltime hours. Latly my partner and I have been arguing a lot. I feel very hurt as for some time now he has been talking down to me and calling me names and I already do not feel good about myself. I told him not to speak to me like that and he said he will try but then he does it again. Growing up his parents used to tell him he wasn't good enough and couldn't do anything and he said that made him a better person as it made him stronger. He very much believes in tough love. He dosent understand mental illness and when I am having a really bad day he will withhold any sort of affection. When I am balling my eyes out he will tell me to snap out of it or go to another room as he dosent want to hear it as he has real problems and my problems are not real. Despite all of this I love him very much just feel very hurt and alone. When I have had bad days with my eating disorder their have been many occasions where he has sat down and talked to me for hours trying to bring me round. He is just tired and frustrated and thinks I am not trying hard enough. I know someone with a mental illness is not the easiest person to live with. I once attemptd suicide in our relationship because I was feeling overwhelmed and he said if I ever did it again it would be the end of us. He said he doesn't get paid to help me, he dosent want to be a babysitter. I don't expect him to babysit me. I am trying my best to get on with my life. On a bad day a hug and a kiss would go a long way. I don't mean to stress him out and I feel everything is my fault. Sorry for the long post, there is so much more to say but will leave it at that.