Grief and loss

Unanswered questions - loss of brother

replies: 2

Hello, first off I hope everyone is doing as best as they can as I'm sure we are all here searching for ways to cope and to even understand other people's thoughts and processes. I have recently lost my older brother, he tragically took his own life ... View more

Hello, first off I hope everyone is doing as best as they can as I'm sure we are all here searching for ways to cope and to even understand other people's thoughts and processes. I have recently lost my older brother, he tragically took his own life without much explanation or warning. I do not know how or where to begin but would love to know if there is support groups or places in Adelaide where people who have been through traumatic events can come together as I struggle to relate to my friends as they don't quite get how I feel. As I don't truly understand how I feel... There is numbness, anger, sadness, love, all in one.

Fear of death or existentialism.

replies: 6

When I was 10 I lost my father to Aids. I didn't understand the reasons or the permanency of death. Now as a 30 year old I constantly ask myself how can I not exist? Why am I here? Why did my dad die? How can I not be me? It makes no sense and it sca... View more

When I was 10 I lost my father to Aids. I didn't understand the reasons or the permanency of death. Now as a 30 year old I constantly ask myself how can I not exist? Why am I here? Why did my dad die? How can I not be me? It makes no sense and it scares me to the point of tears. I have a 6 and 5 year old and I know that not only will I die but they will to. Does anyone else ever have these thoughts? Or is there something wrong with me?

Feeling overwhelmed & scared

replies: 4

Hi, I lost my dad this August he was 54yrs old & his death was unexpected. He had been sick for about 2 years but his disease was always making him sick & then he would get better again. My sister & I left in May this year to travel Europe for 4 mont... View more

Hi, I lost my dad this August he was 54yrs old & his death was unexpected. He had been sick for about 2 years but his disease was always making him sick & then he would get better again. My sister & I left in May this year to travel Europe for 4 months & then live in London we both quit our jobs & where just wanting to find ourselves. Dad seemed like he was doing better so off we went & 3 months in we had to urgently return home, we got 5 days with him although he was never conscious we got to be by his side when he passed. There is just so much regret & guilt now. I'm just lost I have to find a new job & be in a home without him. At the moment me, my sister & mum don't really talk about what we are feeling, it scares me to know how bad they hurt I hate it. I feel like I have no direction anymore our whole world is different & I just feel anxious. I have an interview tomorrow & im so stressed about it, it feels like once I have job reality is going to hit. My sister & I couldn't wait to get out of our sydney. Now we are back here & trying to face life without my dad. He was an amazing man & he held our family together. He didn't deserve to be taken away so early. I just don't know how to go about everyday life & be happy. Any advice would be great.

I think I'm grieving?

replies: 3

I think I might be grieving for my mum, problem is she hasn't passed away. she has cancer and so its inevitable that I will have to say goodbye, but I think part of my anxiety and depression is that I'm already grieving for her? I don't want to be li... View more

I think I might be grieving for my mum, problem is she hasn't passed away. she has cancer and so its inevitable that I will have to say goodbye, but I think part of my anxiety and depression is that I'm already grieving for her? I don't want to be like this, I want to go and see her ( she is in the uk) and I want to make the most of the time I have, but I feel almost crippled with these feelings. I want to be strong but I can't find a way to do it. i skyped with her yesterday and I was looking at her realising how I'll she was and how much she has changed and I cried and she cried. I miss her so much already I feel like I'm going to completely lose myself. i don't know if anyone will have any insights or helpful words, but I just wanted to get this out of my head and I will talk to my psychologist about it when I see him next.

Missing mum

replies: 2

Hello im am completely new to this, i havnt been able to open up to anyone. 2 months ago my mother passed away from cancer no suger coating she died scared and in alot of pain, i cannot even put into words how helpless and worthless i feel not being... View more

Hello im am completely new to this, i havnt been able to open up to anyone. 2 months ago my mother passed away from cancer no suger coating she died scared and in alot of pain, i cannot even put into words how helpless and worthless i feel not being able to help her. Ive lost my mum, the person who was always there for me always listened to me loved me no matter what happened. i also have just currently lost my home my pet dog and cat, i feel like im still stuck in shock with moments of intense sobbing that last for hours. I feel so lost and alone ( i know im not i have my 3 best friends helping me) but i cannot shake this feeling and open up to them i keep rejecting everything. So im asking everyone please Please tell me your story of what it was like and how you broke out of that bubble of depression, fear and negativity. I need your help

Is it normal to feel loss and grief like this?

replies: 1

Five years ago my dad died and it took me a long time to come to terms with it. We had a sometimes turbulent relationship during my childhood but we had finally gotten to best place we'd ever been and I was considering moving interstate to care for h... View more

Five years ago my dad died and it took me a long time to come to terms with it. We had a sometimes turbulent relationship during my childhood but we had finally gotten to best place we'd ever been and I was considering moving interstate to care for him but unfortunately that of course never happened. I cried so hard every day for a month that I gave myself intense headaches and even threw up sometimes. Normal? I thought so at the time as did my then-counsellor. After all, death is traumatic. After a couple of months I was able to live day to day without breaking down, though he still has crossed my mind literally every day since, mostly happy memories. So after getting a grip of my feelings of guilt and regret, this past month everything has come undone. I am suddenly having dreams about him every week which I haven't experienced since the year he passed. The other morning I was dreaming of him and as I woke, before I even opened my eyes, I began to cry. I lay in bed bawling and howling for what felt like an hour. I have dreams of him expressing disappointment in me or I'll dream that I see him in public but he ignores me. I wasn't always the best daughter and I am now having reoccurring feelings of intense guilt and self loathing. How can I go from being at peace with it to suddenly dreaming of him constantly and hating myself all over again? I don't know why I'm writing this here but I'm hoping somebody else who has experienced the loss of a parent might have some insight. Waking up and feeling like he died just yesterday isn't great considering I have finally been getting a handle on my depression and anxiety. This has all come out of the blue and it's overwhelming me to the point where all my old thoughts of self harm have resurfaced. Am I being dramatic? I opened up to a friend about it last week and told her about the past month and was met with "you should be over it by now" which I understand but suddenly I'm not over it anymore. How is that even possible? When I was on the bus yesterday I was just looking out the window and thought I saw him. For a split second I was 100% convinced it was him but then reality hit me and I felt like an idiot. Five years and that happened....it that abnormal? I don't even want to sleep tonight in case I dream of him again.

Grief, loss and other traumatic events

replies: 5

Hi there, I'm not sure if this is where I should start but Grief and Loss has led me to the position I'm in now. I have recently lost the person I thought was my soul mate and life love, not only that but because they know they are in the wrong they ... View more

Hi there, I'm not sure if this is where I should start but Grief and Loss has led me to the position I'm in now. I have recently lost the person I thought was my soul mate and life love, not only that but because they know they are in the wrong they have become somewhat psychotic. I'm dealing with a myriad of lies and harassment being thrown at me and I'm on such an emotional rollercoaster I don't know what to do with myself. I guess my main questions at the moment are, Is it possible to *develop* split/multiple personalities, Is it possible to develop them by choice, and what are the psychological effects? Sometimes I want to shut everything out so much, feel I'm under so much stress, pressure and pain, that I am able to shut everything off and become someone else for short periods of time, its basically still me but minus any background or history, if that makes sense...? I'm just existing. I have created an alias for myself, well 2, but they are online presences only and don't have any 'life' so to say. But there are times when I feel like I want to switch to BEING that person for periods of time. I have a very broad personality, like I'm not the same around everyone (I know that's pretty normal for most), but there are parts of me I feel like I would like to section out, like becoming 2 or 3 different people dependant on situation. For example when I'm around others I want to be the happy laughing fun me, when I'm alone I want to become the serious devoted author, and at work I want to be the standard unfeeling corporate drone to get through each day. So... Is it possible, and really is it healthy...?

Depression, grieving and maintaining a healthy relationship

replies: 3

help!! I have recently lost my dad, im planning my wedding and im suffering from depression. i need help and don't want it to affect my relationship with my fiance. i told him last night that I didn't love him which isn't true only because I was so s... View more

help!! I have recently lost my dad, im planning my wedding and im suffering from depression. i need help and don't want it to affect my relationship with my fiance. i told him last night that I didn't love him which isn't true only because I was so sad and angry that it just came out. i feel really bad and didn't mean it and need help with this all!!

Stillborn son and struggling with my loss

replies: 1

Hi anyone in new here so please bare with me. in April this year I lost my only child at 24 weeks gestation due to a rare condition. Im really struggling I've gone through good and bad moments but by far this is the worst. from the moment I the dr to... View more

Hi anyone in new here so please bare with me. in April this year I lost my only child at 24 weeks gestation due to a rare condition. Im really struggling I've gone through good and bad moments but by far this is the worst. from the moment I the dr told me my son would not make it I have felt empty and cold. I have no affection or love for anyone anymore.and I dream about my son constantly. i dnt understand how my life went from so perfect to so bad in a matter of a few hours, my life really took a bad turn the day I walked out of the hospital with empty arms and know I was walking away from my son and my heart, leaving him at the hospital and there was nothing I could do. I will never forget driving out of the city heading home that night I was discharge driving away from the city lights into the country darkness saying goodbye to my lil boy. I have no purpose in life anymore I failed my son and I knew that the moment I delivered him and held him he was so perfect and looked so pieceful as though he knew I was his mummy. But really rips my guts of is that he passed away while I was actually delivering him. I felt him moving just before the dr told me it was time to push. im really in a bad place and have a lot of pressure. My husband has 2 children to his ex who he doesn't see because of me and our late son. (His ex hates me and the fact that we had a child) so he doesn't see them. thanks for listening feel free to share your story's or nice comments keep the bad comments quiet plz

How Do I Move Forward?

replies: 2

In June of 2014 I moved to Australia to be with my fiance--leaving my family and friends in east coast of the states. I left knowing that my mother's ongoing battle with addiction wasn't improving. My biggest fear when leaving was that something woul... View more

In June of 2014 I moved to Australia to be with my fiance--leaving my family and friends in east coast of the states. I left knowing that my mother's ongoing battle with addiction wasn't improving. My biggest fear when leaving was that something would happen to my mom while I was away. That fear came true on Easter morning when I woke up to a phone call from my father and brothers telling me that my mother had passed away. Since that day my heart has been broken and is nowhere near healed. I went back to the states with my partner for the services and came back 3 weeks later to continue my life in Australia. A month and a half later my partner and I had split and I decided to stay in Australia on my own. The past 5 months have been a constant struggle. Feeling every emotion possible--all at a heightened level. Whenever I feel like I've taken 2 steps forward I find myself going backwards again. I realised in this time period that grief isn't just about death--it's about loss. I lost two things, my mom and my relationship. I lost the two most important people in my life and I feel that no one around me gets it at all. On the surface I seem OK for the most part, people can't see the pain that I'm going through but the pain is so significant and it's not getting easier. I find that I can't talk to anyone to TRULY tell them about my pain. It's not that I don't want to, it's that I can't find the words. I can't even figure it out myself.

Pinned discussions

Welcome to the Grief and Loss section

replies: 0

All discussions

Unanswered questions - loss of brother

replies: 2

Fear of death or existentialism.

replies: 6

Feeling overwhelmed & scared

replies: 4

I think I'm grieving?

replies: 3

Missing mum

replies: 2

Is it normal to feel loss and grief like this?

replies: 1

Grief, loss and other traumatic events

replies: 5

Depression, grieving and maintaining a healthy relationship

replies: 3

Stillborn son and struggling with my loss

replies: 1

How Do I Move Forward?

replies: 2

Grief and loss

Welcome to the Grief and Loss section replies: 0

Unanswered questions - loss of brother replies: 2

Fear of death or existentialism. replies: 6

Feeling overwhelmed & scared replies: 4

I think I'm grieving? replies: 3

Missing mum replies: 2

Is it normal to feel loss and grief like this? replies: 1

Grief, loss and other traumatic events replies: 5

Depression, grieving and maintaining a healthy relationship replies: 3

Stillborn son and struggling with my loss replies: 1

How Do I Move Forward? replies: 2

Welcome to the Grief and Loss section

replies: 0

Unanswered questions - loss of brother

replies: 2

Fear of death or existentialism.

replies: 6

Feeling overwhelmed & scared

replies: 4

I think I'm grieving?

replies: 3

Missing mum

replies: 2

Is it normal to feel loss and grief like this?

replies: 1

Grief, loss and other traumatic events

replies: 5

Depression, grieving and maintaining a healthy relationship

replies: 3

Stillborn son and struggling with my loss

replies: 1

How Do I Move Forward?

replies: 2