Grief and loss

First time poster

replies: 1

Hi, Don't know really where to start or what to say. But I guess my current struggles are with losing my Dad a couple of months ago to cancer. My Dad is my hero. Like most girls Dad's are. When my Dad got really sick and we knew we only had a few mon... View more

Hi, Don't know really where to start or what to say. But I guess my current struggles are with losing my Dad a couple of months ago to cancer. My Dad is my hero. Like most girls Dad's are. When my Dad got really sick and we knew we only had a few months left with him, I moved home to help my Mum care for him and to spend as much time with him as I could. But that entire month I was there, it was so hard as I watching my hero deteriorate. I watched him take his last breath and sat with him and told him how much I loved him. I just miss him. Miss him more and more every day. I feel like since losing him I have lost my will, strength and determination. All the things he instilled in us as kids. I have no drive at work, I keep making mistakes in life and I am so angry at the world. Something little will set me off and then I feel embarrassed for my going crazy and yelling at people. I feel like a failure all the time and that I'm just a crappy human. I just feel really lost and if he was alive I'd be letting him down with how I am acting. He wouldn't be proud of me and that makes me more upset.

I miss my mum

replies: 1

My mum suffered from severe depression and bi polar disorder . I always thought she was going to get better but after a 15 year struggle and after us kids trying everything to help , she took her own life at the age of 61. Her later life was one of u... View more

My mum suffered from severe depression and bi polar disorder . I always thought she was going to get better but after a 15 year struggle and after us kids trying everything to help , she took her own life at the age of 61. Her later life was one of utter suffering everyday she lived in loneliness and isolation . We would visit as often as we could but Mum was Usually very intoxicated on prescription medication and alcohol. This is the lady that cared for me when I was young , she did love me but she had been taken . I tried so hard in the hope that Mum would get better but it was not to be . I look into the eyes of my boy who was born 2 months after my mum died and know that Mum would have loved him . The feeling now without her is sadness at the level of suffering and loneliness she went through every day . When death came she was alone , she would have been so scared .. .

Anger from miscarriage

replies: 2

Hi everyone, I had a miscarriage 12 months ago - I’m 40 years old. It’s turned me into a completely different person! I’m always angry, so angry. It’s turned me off any kind of intimacy with my husband and I just feel down and angry all the time. As ... View more

Hi everyone, I had a miscarriage 12 months ago - I’m 40 years old. It’s turned me into a completely different person! I’m always angry, so angry. It’s turned me off any kind of intimacy with my husband and I just feel down and angry all the time. As the months go on I get more angry as I realize i am further away from having another child - time is not on my side plus I’m tired all the time. My daughter is 3 but I really wanted a second child. I’ve been grappling with the idea that perhaps a bit of depression is creeping in......... should I go and see a GP?

Recovering

replies: 5

Hi i am new here. I am recovering from a breakdown, hoping someone else understands and has advice. The last 3 years has been too much and i broke. Losing the 2 people who meant the most to me plus my dog, grief, sadness, disappointment took over and... View more

Hi i am new here. I am recovering from a breakdown, hoping someone else understands and has advice. The last 3 years has been too much and i broke. Losing the 2 people who meant the most to me plus my dog, grief, sadness, disappointment took over and i ended up in a black hole. I have improved somewhat but finding a new set of challenges. Now im just losing friends coz i dont meet their expectations. They offer help in the form of information and if i dont do what theyre suggesting, then it looks like i dont care. Im always misunderstood when someone is upset with me. You know what i mean? Like i really want to be like this. My body and mind are slowly recovering but it takes time. I have had major physical symptoms to the point of thinking i was dying and its all from stress. I would like to be whole again and im getting there but losing jobs and people along the way. Everytime this happens, depression gets worse and i withdraw again. Where has my fight gone, motivation? I am sick of being judged when i dont go out of my way to hurt people, just doing the best i can. Its not a lot, better than last year and its something, baby steps. People dont get it and i feel like an island.

I'm back, but not much better

replies: 9

Hi, I haven't posted for a while,my son had 75% 3rd degree burns and suffering all manner of problems. We went out bush off grid for a while and my son appeared to be getting better. He still had his moments,though. I'd gotten him off all pain killer... View more

Hi, I haven't posted for a while,my son had 75% 3rd degree burns and suffering all manner of problems. We went out bush off grid for a while and my son appeared to be getting better. He still had his moments,though. I'd gotten him off all pain killers except panadeine forte, and all other meds except anti depressants and mood stabilizers. There was light at the end of the tunnel {and it wasn't the train}, until Sept 21 when he'd gone to town for the day,and was hitch hiking home that night when he was hit by a car and killed. We are so devastated, and finding it hard to get on with life...although I know he's not in any more pain now, I miss him so much.

My father committed suicide

replies: 3

On the third of April my father who I was extremely close to committed suicide, with no signs or goodbye.. I'm shattered I need my dad. I'm so angry not at him but at myself for not sensing it, how did I not realise. I still don't quite believe he is... View more

On the third of April my father who I was extremely close to committed suicide, with no signs or goodbye.. I'm shattered I need my dad. I'm so angry not at him but at myself for not sensing it, how did I not realise. I still don't quite believe he is gone, and I don't want to believe it I don't want it to feel real. I'm scared i just need to talk to him, I need him. I'm 21 with a 1 year old and I can't help but loose it after trying to keep it together infront of her and I'm scared I'm damaging her by crying and yelling infront of her, and that I'm going to ruin her life by doing so so then I get angry and feel guilty for that too as well as feeling that I'd be disappointing my dad aswell because he believed I was an amazing mum. I don't know what to do or how to cope, I feel so empty, numb, broken, in shock, heart broken. I can't help but feel I wasn't enough and I'm angry at myself for that, why would he leave me

Sudden death of my mother

replies: 3

Hi. This is my very first post. On Wednesday (12/6/19) I got a phone call that my perfectly healthy Mother who was 58 had died. I had seen her the evening prior , my son and I often visit 2-3times a week after school pick up. And 2 days a week she wo... View more

Hi. This is my very first post. On Wednesday (12/6/19) I got a phone call that my perfectly healthy Mother who was 58 had died. I had seen her the evening prior , my son and I often visit 2-3times a week after school pick up. And 2 days a week she would pick up/drop of my son at school. She seemed fine. Happy. Making jokes with me. That at night she went to bed and didn’t wake up. i am absolutely devastated , I can’t get the memory of that day out of my head. The picture of her lying in her bed, looking like she was just still sleeping, won’t leave. Im scared to go to sleep. Im scared I won’t wake up or I’m scared I’ll replay it again. Im scared I’ll forget all my memories and I’m scared my children will forget her. i feel so much sadness that I didn’t hug her goodbye on the Tuesday night and I didn’t tell her I loved her enough. im finding myself going in waves. One moment I feel okay. I can accept it then the next I just wish I could rewind the clock and somehow stop it? I’ll be fine. Then I’ll cry. Then laugh. Then cry. i don’t know how to deal, what am I meant to do? How can I make sure I don’t forget anything? And how do I make the feeling of loss go away? I have two children who absolutely adored their grandma and they are dealing with this so much better than I.

Feel abandoned by my children after the death of my husband

replies: 3

7 weeks ago I lost my husband after he had battled with cancer for 2 years. 8 years ago we moved to Australia to start a new life and join my daughter and family. My son also intended emigrating here so it seemed the right thing to do. Before she emi... View more

7 weeks ago I lost my husband after he had battled with cancer for 2 years. 8 years ago we moved to Australia to start a new life and join my daughter and family. My son also intended emigrating here so it seemed the right thing to do. Before she emigrated here my daughter said she only wanted to do it if we and her brother could also come and so we developed a grand plan for us all to be together and join my brother and his family here. After we had already moved here as our first granddaughter was due, my son changed his mind and accepted a job in the Netherlands. After we had been here 4 years my daughter and son-in-law moved abroad. They returned after 2 years but moved to the other side of the country to a remote area, 5,000 kms away. I am now here alone, (my brother and family are here but they have busy lives) and I feel that I have been abandoned and betrayed by my children. Life is not how we imagined it would be when we decided to come to Australia. I know your children have their own lives but my daughter is the one who wanted us to come here. I feel very alone and cry every day for my husband and can’t believe that this is my life now and my future has been taken away. It’s so hard being in this house living with an empty space where my husband should be. Most days I wonder what is the point of getting out of bed. My instinct tells me to go home to the UK, as I was always quite homesick and only came here for the family and my grandchildren, but I don’t know if I could start again at age 69 my and then I would probably not see my grandchildren .

Feelings of loneliness and grief after miscarriage

replies: 4

I had a miscarriage over a week ago, and where all the love and hope I had for my baby was, there's just emptiness. My chest has been literally aching with grief. I go from feeling sad to feeling angry to feeling numb. Unlike loss of a family member ... View more

I had a miscarriage over a week ago, and where all the love and hope I had for my baby was, there's just emptiness. My chest has been literally aching with grief. I go from feeling sad to feeling angry to feeling numb. Unlike loss of a family member or friend who made it into the world, it just feels taboo and confronting to talk about for others, and I feel like I am very isolated. Out of the people who I have spoken to about the loss, a few have been great, but a few have been insensitive, have tried to move the conversation on as quickly as possible, or have just not known how to react and withdrew support altogether. My boss told me she was sorry to hear, but then basically told me that I'm not the only one going through things at the moment. I felt invalidated. My husband has gone through the loss too. He's only gotten overwhelming support from those he's told, and he is feeling positive about the future and focusing on wanting another pregnancy. I am feeling anxious about the future, and terrified it's going to happen again. On top of problems already going on at work, I feel like I'm drowning now in stress and grief, and it's getting harder to catch a breath.

Why do I feel guilty?

replies: 2

Hello all, My father passed away last year and he was an alcoholic, which was a major factor that caused his death. I drink socially and have never had any problems in the way of addiction or being irresponsible. Since my father's passing, I have cho... View more

Hello all, My father passed away last year and he was an alcoholic, which was a major factor that caused his death. I drink socially and have never had any problems in the way of addiction or being irresponsible. Since my father's passing, I have chosen not to drink as much when I'm out but on some occasions where I have had a couple (as we all do), these feelings of guilt present. I get quite upset with myself and I feel bad that I'm drinking and that I have let myself go beyond my limits. I don't know whether it's because I don't want to end up making the mistakes my dad did or because I know that alcohol was part of the reason he died. I know I shouldn't let his mistakes affect my life but in the back of my mind something triggers this. I didn't have much to do with my dad for a couple of years because of alcoholism and other issues that stemmed from it so it's not like I think he will be disappointed in me. The grieving process has been a roller coaster but overall I feel okay, I have moved on and accepted what has happened, I just can't seem to shake this feeling. I hope this makes sense. Thank you for any insights you may have on this.

Pinned discussions

Welcome to the Grief and Loss section

replies: 0

All discussions

First time poster

replies: 1

I miss my mum

replies: 1

Anger from miscarriage

replies: 2

Recovering

replies: 5

I'm back, but not much better

replies: 9

My father committed suicide

replies: 3

Sudden death of my mother

replies: 3

Feel abandoned by my children after the death of my husband

replies: 3

Feelings of loneliness and grief after miscarriage

replies: 4

Why do I feel guilty?

replies: 2

Grief and loss

Welcome to the Grief and Loss section replies: 0

First time poster replies: 1

I miss my mum replies: 1

Anger from miscarriage replies: 2

Recovering replies: 5

I'm back, but not much better replies: 9

My father committed suicide replies: 3

Sudden death of my mother replies: 3

Feel abandoned by my children after the death of my husband replies: 3

Feelings of loneliness and grief after miscarriage replies: 4

Why do I feel guilty? replies: 2

Welcome to the Grief and Loss section

replies: 0

First time poster

replies: 1

I miss my mum

replies: 1

Anger from miscarriage

replies: 2

Recovering

replies: 5

I'm back, but not much better

replies: 9

My father committed suicide

replies: 3

Sudden death of my mother

replies: 3

Feel abandoned by my children after the death of my husband

replies: 3

Feelings of loneliness and grief after miscarriage

replies: 4

Why do I feel guilty?

replies: 2