Grief and loss

My mother and sister have both died - am I alone?

replies: 3

My mother died when I was 11 (many, many years ago) and my sister died 4 years ago. Both had long illnesses and suffered drawn-out deaths. For me, watching both of them die was very traumatic and for years I've had to deal with anxiety, depression an... View more

My mother died when I was 11 (many, many years ago) and my sister died 4 years ago. Both had long illnesses and suffered drawn-out deaths. For me, watching both of them die was very traumatic and for years I've had to deal with anxiety, depression and PTSD. Quite often though I feel like no one understands (except my therapist), so I guess I'm just reaching out to see if I really am alone in this or if there is anyone else who knows what a double loss feels like?

Loosing my mum to suicide

replies: 2

Hi everyone. I lost my mum to suicide a month ago, she tried to commit suicide when I was 35 weeks pregnant. Due to her drug use and mental health I made the hard decision for her to not meet my newborn child, one month ago my mother commited suicide... View more

Hi everyone. I lost my mum to suicide a month ago, she tried to commit suicide when I was 35 weeks pregnant. Due to her drug use and mental health I made the hard decision for her to not meet my newborn child, one month ago my mother commited suicide. She left letters and basically blamed me and wrote that I was never going to let her be a grandmother.. I have so much guilt and regrets on not letting her meet my son. At the time of my decision I had the right intentions but now that she is gone I am struggling so much. I am loosing focus while driving, I seem to not have any confidence I second guess my self a lot which is dangerous behind the wheel. I am not one to talk about my feelings I normally "bottle it up", but I know I am not okay. For my son's sake I want to get help, my dad is not around and I only have one sister left. My fiance and his family are a great support, I don't have many friends.. Has anyone been through this before? Have you lost confidence in driving and had bad anxiety in the car I am getting to the point where i do not want to drive and don't want to be in the car at all.

Break up and death

replies: 2

I’m not really sure what to say or why I’m here. I’m struggling a lot. My boyfriend and I ended out three year relationship (amicably) on Sunday. We just weren’t the one for each other. Regardless he was my best friend and the one I always sought sup... View more

I’m not really sure what to say or why I’m here. I’m struggling a lot. My boyfriend and I ended out three year relationship (amicably) on Sunday. We just weren’t the one for each other. Regardless he was my best friend and the one I always sought support and comfort from. I left at 9pm Sunday night. 9am Monday morning, 12 hours later, I took my precious 10 year old cat to the vet for a check up. I only recused her two months prior but she was a shining life changing beacon and lit up my whole life. 10 minutes into the appointment the vet told me she had aggressive cancer, was in significant pain and suffering, and there was nothing to be done for her. It was completely unexpected. I held her in my arms while she took her last breath and let her go that morning. I knew my boyfriend and I would break up that weekend. We had both planned it and wanted to spend quality time together to just enjoy the good parts before we went out separate ways. I had no idea my little cat was unwell and I would have to end her life that morning. It was 12 hours only after breaking up. It hurts because if it has been 12 hours earlier my best friend would have been there with me and comforted me and supported me through the grief. But we broke up so he’s not. I told him what had happened and he was sorry but didn’t want to be involved or change things. Im struggling ALOT to just function. Eating, drinking, using the toilet, sleeping, socialising, thinking. Life just seems completely and utterly impossible. I don’t have a lot of friends and don’t have family aside from my mum, who lives interstate. She’s helping as just as she can but I’m just so lost and feel alone in this grief. I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be grieving, my beautiful cat who was my family, or the loss of my relationship. I don’t really know what to expect here. Am i overreacting and being too dramatic?

Lost mil, husband away, feeling like I cannot cope

replies: 8

Hi, my husband lost his mum to cancer last week and has had to travel to arrange her funeral. It was sudden and the plan was to return a week later but he has had to stay another week to next Thursday. I am feeling at a loss trying to cope with three... View more

Hi, my husband lost his mum to cancer last week and has had to travel to arrange her funeral. It was sudden and the plan was to return a week later but he has had to stay another week to next Thursday. I am feeling at a loss trying to cope with three children (7, 3 and 10m) at home without him. Very sleep deprived. I am feeling this abysmal pit in my stomach, anxiety and sheer panic that fills the emptiness of time. This happens every time my husband leaves me with the children and it harks back to a deep seated fear of being left behind on my own and I suspect it can be traced back to babyhood when my mother gave me away to my grandmother to care the first 9m of my life. At the moment, I find it impossible to fill the time between sleeps. I also don't know how to support my husband through his grief. When we spoke, he is also not coping. I feel like I am sinking into a pit of depression whilst also contemplating mortality. I knew my mil and my mum recently too completed chemo for cancer. I don't want to burden my husband further with my insecurities and these worries and anxieties as he has enough on his plate atm dealing with family and burial politics.

Loss my husband to brain cancer

replies: 4

I am 43 years old and 3 weeks ago tomorrow I lost my 43 year old husband to brain cancer. He was first diagnosed 12 1/2 years ago. The past 6 months was awlful then at 1:20 on the morning of the 22/07 he took his last breath. I feel completely heart ... View more

I am 43 years old and 3 weeks ago tomorrow I lost my 43 year old husband to brain cancer. He was first diagnosed 12 1/2 years ago. The past 6 months was awlful then at 1:20 on the morning of the 22/07 he took his last breath. I feel completely heart broken. Sometimes I feel I just can’t breath. I am lost and have no idea what I’m suppose to do now.

Lost my husband to what may be a workplace death

replies: 1

Autopsy doesn't show heart attack etc. Workplace is not saying anything. At the moment we (myself and two adult children) are awaiting further results from the autopsy that was performed. Could understand if he had died a natural death but the unknow... View more

Autopsy doesn't show heart attack etc. Workplace is not saying anything. At the moment we (myself and two adult children) are awaiting further results from the autopsy that was performed. Could understand if he had died a natural death but the unknown is killing me. It's been two weeks tomorrow and at the time we couldn't even see him for 6 days. Don't know what to do. It is just an emotional rollercoaster. Legal, official, workplace, Worksafe (investigating). Just sucks big time at the moment.

Fathers Suicide

replies: 3

This is my very first post in here so please bare with me. 1st September 2019 (Fathers Day) my Dad started planning his ending, he wrote multiple suicide letters, people saw him on the 2nd and the 3rd and said he seemed like his happy self, he sent m... View more

This is my very first post in here so please bare with me. 1st September 2019 (Fathers Day) my Dad started planning his ending, he wrote multiple suicide letters, people saw him on the 2nd and the 3rd and said he seemed like his happy self, he sent my sister a Facebook message on the morning of the 4th, nothing that warranted concern. No contact after that but that wasn’t unusual. 7th September his body was discovered. he lives back in New Zealand, I live in Perth, my sister dealt with everything. for the first 10 days I felt numb, but I was holding on to the fact that his letter to me would give me some kind of understanding, some kind of closure? the Police back there contacted me on day 10 to explain the process and to let me know all his suicide notes would be delivered to the correct people... also to inform me that I was NOT one of the people he chose to say goodbye to! I am heartbroken beyond words that I didn’t mean enough for the goodbye he was able to give my sister and multiple other people. I don’t know how to move on from this, closure seems impossible.

First time post

replies: 3

Hi this is my first time posting. i am currently dealing with the loss of both my parents and don’t really have anybody to talk to about it. my father died suddenly in 2017 and my mother died in 2018 of cancer. My dad was 51 and my mother 49. some da... View more

Hi this is my first time posting. i am currently dealing with the loss of both my parents and don’t really have anybody to talk to about it. my father died suddenly in 2017 and my mother died in 2018 of cancer. My dad was 51 and my mother 49. some days are good and some days are bad, but I feel like I have to keep going and pushing through for my children. i dont have much support or help so I do feel alone most days as I was very close to my parents

Sudden loss of brother 😢😭

replies: 6

Hi there I lost my brother 2 years ago this August due to a sudden car crash. I have been going through a whole lot body wise and head. And haven't been really coping with it all. Has anyone else lost a single brother and feel the loneliness id love ... View more

Hi there I lost my brother 2 years ago this August due to a sudden car crash. I have been going through a whole lot body wise and head. And haven't been really coping with it all. Has anyone else lost a single brother and feel the loneliness id love to have a chat

The Deepest Sorrow

replies: 2

I wish I felt anything but anger when I see a pregnant woman, affectionately caressing the home in which her baby grows safely. Pain wears the veil of anger so as not to be seen. It buries itself deep in the heart of me where it is safe from the eyes... View more

I wish I felt anything but anger when I see a pregnant woman, affectionately caressing the home in which her baby grows safely. Pain wears the veil of anger so as not to be seen. It buries itself deep in the heart of me where it is safe from the eyes of others. I feel my stomach fall and hot tears prickle my eyes. They are cautious; refusing to fall and expose the pain. Anger surfaces in its place. Who can wear this anger for me? Who can take it off my hands and lessen the load? There is no one to give my anger to. I sit here and wear it, wishing it wasn't mine. I run my hands over my broken and battered body; the body that couldn't make a home for the babies I loved. Loss after loss after loss. My body fails again. Silent rooms and empty ultrasounds plague my mind. Rivers of unforgiving crimson rush from my body and tell me it's over. With them, they take a part of my soul never to be returned to me. Sterile white walls of hospitals become witness to the deepest pain I've ever known. I don't think I can get up again. The pain is just too much to carry. Am I being punished for being home to depression? Can you not be home to the deepest sorrow and the most exhilarating love at the same time? Is there someone out there who would have loved harder and laughed more often? Does she get to wake with hope each day instead of crippling fear? Would that make her a better mother? It doesn't seem fair. I know I can walk alongside my depression and love fiercely at the same time. I have all my life. So what makes this different? Do I not deserve to feel the depth of this love? Families grow around me one by one. Babies are born and lives are changed. And still I sit here as anger masks the pain I don't want seen. The world shifts and changes around me and I'm stuck; unmoved. I smile as friends share their news and allow the tears to fall freely in private. I question how I will live through pain that feels so permanent and unchanging. And while it feels impossible and beyond my capacity; I do it. I walk through the rawness of the pain and continue to live. I have thought I shouldn't be alive because of my broken body and hateful mind. And yet I am here living. Instead of the pain making me wish I could leave, I now know how to carry it and live alongside it. But as I sit here in the cafe watching the expectant mother caress her stomach with loving anticipation I wish I felt anything but anger.

Pinned discussions

Welcome to the Grief and Loss section

replies: 0

All discussions

My mother and sister have both died - am I alone?

replies: 3

Loosing my mum to suicide

replies: 2

Break up and death

replies: 2

Lost mil, husband away, feeling like I cannot cope

replies: 8

Loss my husband to brain cancer

replies: 4

Lost my husband to what may be a workplace death

replies: 1

Fathers Suicide

replies: 3

First time post

replies: 3

Sudden loss of brother 😢😭

replies: 6

The Deepest Sorrow

replies: 2

Grief and loss

Welcome to the Grief and Loss section replies: 0

My mother and sister have both died - am I alone? replies: 3

Loosing my mum to suicide replies: 2

Break up and death replies: 2

Lost mil, husband away, feeling like I cannot cope replies: 8

Loss my husband to brain cancer replies: 4

Lost my husband to what may be a workplace death replies: 1

Fathers Suicide replies: 3

First time post replies: 3

Sudden loss of brother 😢😭 replies: 6

The Deepest Sorrow replies: 2

Welcome to the Grief and Loss section

replies: 0

My mother and sister have both died - am I alone?

replies: 3

Loosing my mum to suicide

replies: 2

Break up and death

replies: 2

Lost mil, husband away, feeling like I cannot cope

replies: 8

Loss my husband to brain cancer

replies: 4

Lost my husband to what may be a workplace death

replies: 1

Fathers Suicide

replies: 3

First time post

replies: 3

Sudden loss of brother 😢😭

replies: 6

The Deepest Sorrow

replies: 2