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BeyondBlue Welcome to the Grief and Loss section
  • replies: 0

Hey there,Welcome to the Grief and Loss section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This section is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you- providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and annivers... View more

Hey there,Welcome to the Grief and Loss section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This section is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you- providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and anniversaries, and honour the memories of your lost loved ones. Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This - and anything in between - is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but it can help to allow yourself to share your grief, and let others support you. Please be aware that discussions in this section of the Forums may include references to self-harm and suicide. Treat yourself gently as you read through this section. If need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Griefline – between 8am and 8pm (AEST), call 1300 845 745 to chat with a specially trained volunteer You are not alone in this, and we are here to support one another. Thank you for being here. Kind regards,Beyond Blue

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Sum19 Sudden loss of brother 😢😭
  • replies: 6

Hi there I lost my brother 2 years ago this August due to a sudden car crash. I have been going through a whole lot body wise and head. And haven't been really coping with it all. Has anyone else lost a single brother and feel the loneliness id love ... View more

Hi there I lost my brother 2 years ago this August due to a sudden car crash. I have been going through a whole lot body wise and head. And haven't been really coping with it all. Has anyone else lost a single brother and feel the loneliness id love to have a chat

B_Ellaine The Deepest Sorrow
  • replies: 2

I wish I felt anything but anger when I see a pregnant woman, affectionately caressing the home in which her baby grows safely. Pain wears the veil of anger so as not to be seen. It buries itself deep in the heart of me where it is safe from the eyes... View more

I wish I felt anything but anger when I see a pregnant woman, affectionately caressing the home in which her baby grows safely. Pain wears the veil of anger so as not to be seen. It buries itself deep in the heart of me where it is safe from the eyes of others. I feel my stomach fall and hot tears prickle my eyes. They are cautious; refusing to fall and expose the pain. Anger surfaces in its place. Who can wear this anger for me? Who can take it off my hands and lessen the load? There is no one to give my anger to. I sit here and wear it, wishing it wasn't mine. I run my hands over my broken and battered body; the body that couldn't make a home for the babies I loved. Loss after loss after loss. My body fails again. Silent rooms and empty ultrasounds plague my mind. Rivers of unforgiving crimson rush from my body and tell me it's over. With them, they take a part of my soul never to be returned to me. Sterile white walls of hospitals become witness to the deepest pain I've ever known. I don't think I can get up again. The pain is just too much to carry. Am I being punished for being home to depression? Can you not be home to the deepest sorrow and the most exhilarating love at the same time? Is there someone out there who would have loved harder and laughed more often? Does she get to wake with hope each day instead of crippling fear? Would that make her a better mother? It doesn't seem fair. I know I can walk alongside my depression and love fiercely at the same time. I have all my life. So what makes this different? Do I not deserve to feel the depth of this love? Families grow around me one by one. Babies are born and lives are changed. And still I sit here as anger masks the pain I don't want seen. The world shifts and changes around me and I'm stuck; unmoved. I smile as friends share their news and allow the tears to fall freely in private. I question how I will live through pain that feels so permanent and unchanging. And while it feels impossible and beyond my capacity; I do it. I walk through the rawness of the pain and continue to live. I have thought I shouldn't be alive because of my broken body and hateful mind. And yet I am here living. Instead of the pain making me wish I could leave, I now know how to carry it and live alongside it. But as I sit here in the cafe watching the expectant mother caress her stomach with loving anticipation I wish I felt anything but anger.

Rete Passed away could of been saved
  • replies: 5

My loved one passed away. I feel extremely guilty thinking at the time I could of saved him. I heard him in the morning snoring and yelling but i didn’t think much of it to have a look. Later on in the afternoon my mum found him and I tried to cpr hi... View more

My loved one passed away. I feel extremely guilty thinking at the time I could of saved him. I heard him in the morning snoring and yelling but i didn’t think much of it to have a look. Later on in the afternoon my mum found him and I tried to cpr him but it was already too late cause he was stiff and purple and blue.. If at the time I checked up on him earlier do you think I could of saved him by cpr ??

RabbitsRule Lost my mum
  • replies: 5

I'm in year 7 and yesterday I suddenly lost my mother due to a heart attack. It had been very sudden as she had been fine the day before. it is so hard to cope with, my mum was the only person I trusted and now she will never get to see me grow up an... View more

I'm in year 7 and yesterday I suddenly lost my mother due to a heart attack. It had been very sudden as she had been fine the day before. it is so hard to cope with, my mum was the only person I trusted and now she will never get to see me grow up and graduate school, we had so many plans made for life including an amazing road trip visiting one of the places she had always wanted to visit. i can't stand to think that she will never be back, she will never get to know her grandchildren. My children will never ever meet there grandma My mum, she was so beautiful, so kind and nice and was always there to greet me when I got home from school, she was so supportive in helping me in my first year of high school im crying here as I write this, it is heart breaking. I didnt think the first funeral I would ever go to would be my mums

Smilie Delayed greif
  • replies: 3

My partner and father of my 2 children of over 15 years passed away 14 years ago. I never got the time to grieve for him as my children were young and I had no time to fall in a heap so just kept on going on. But on the 14th year of him passing I'm f... View more

My partner and father of my 2 children of over 15 years passed away 14 years ago. I never got the time to grieve for him as my children were young and I had no time to fall in a heap so just kept on going on. But on the 14th year of him passing I'm finding myself starting the grieving process. I don't know what to do or how to feel or how to get through it. I have happily moved on and married to a wonderful man but finding myself crying and not being able to control the tears when they flow. Any answers on how to get through this would be grateful. I have made an appointment with my doctor to talk to him about it. I have cried my heart out to my husband, he wants to help but doesn't know how. Any help would be appreciated. Thanku

Lee313 I am lost
  • replies: 6

My Nan had a massive Stroke around 2 months ago that took basically the whole right side of her brain. She was a fit and healthy 83 year old woman. She is paralyzed on her left side and can no longer speak and they did not expect her to survive the A... View more

My Nan had a massive Stroke around 2 months ago that took basically the whole right side of her brain. She was a fit and healthy 83 year old woman. She is paralyzed on her left side and can no longer speak and they did not expect her to survive the Acute phase, but she did and made it all the way to rehab. In the last few days she has been switched to Palliative care and will be gone within the next week. I am absolutely devastated. She is my best friend and like a mother to me. I love her so dearly, I am just completely heart broken. I am going to see her every day, but watching her deteriorating is cruel. She is the most kind, selfless and beautiful person I have ever met. She does not deserve to die like this. I want to wake up from this nightmare. When she had the stroke, I grieved knowing I would never hear her voice again and would never see her return to what she was. Now I am sick to my stomach knowing for the first time in the 23 years I've been alive, she will not be there for Christmas or my next birthday. I will never hear her voice again, or hold her hand, I will never get anpther hug or kiss and she doesn't get to watch my daughter grow. She is also leaving behind her husband of over 6 decades. I don't know how to cope with the pain. It comes in waves and it is unbearable. I don't want her to go, I am cherishing the time I have left with her, but it is not enough. I am studying full time and starting a new job on Monday, I don't know how to cope with all of this. I just want her to stay with me.

anne_beckman the reality of the Palliative Care experience - watching my mum die
  • replies: 4

I am struggling with severe anxiety and get so overwhelmed with constant thoughts of how terrible and disturbing the last days were before mum died at home, that the room starts spinning and i literally fall on the floor sobbing and cant stop.. its b... View more

I am struggling with severe anxiety and get so overwhelmed with constant thoughts of how terrible and disturbing the last days were before mum died at home, that the room starts spinning and i literally fall on the floor sobbing and cant stop.. its been 2 months and i just feel worse and worse, i think the palliative care team do a wonderful job but they really didn’t prepare me for how - i hate to use these words - gruesome and disturbing the last days could be. I feel like its a taboo subject that no one wants to talk about the days before and how the actual death are, its certainly not like you see it in the movies. I am trying to find someone to talk to about the palliative care experience. It all feels like a nightmare that i cant wake up from

Uncleal It takes more then time to heal some things
  • replies: 9

Ok, I have a medical condition, then suffered a stroke and have developed osteo arthritis in most of my joints. Depression and anxiety is always with me. One constant through all this has been my 2 year old dog. A small blue Chihuahua, she was very i... View more

Ok, I have a medical condition, then suffered a stroke and have developed osteo arthritis in most of my joints. Depression and anxiety is always with me. One constant through all this has been my 2 year old dog. A small blue Chihuahua, she was very important and helped me through hard times, she had a great personality, Well 7 days ago I found out she had kidney disease and they stopped working. she passed away 3 days ago. She left a hole in my life thats filling with depression, im trying each day to crawl out of this mental depressive hole but get pulled back into it as there are triggers all around me. Is there anyone out there who can show me how to fight this problem,

beckboo29 Sudden and un expected death of my dad
  • replies: 11

It started off as a normal day until the horrible screeching of my mum on the other end of the phone. 63 years old died suddenly at home why hanging out the washing. So young so much more to do with his life he was still working full time. My dad was... View more

It started off as a normal day until the horrible screeching of my mum on the other end of the phone. 63 years old died suddenly at home why hanging out the washing. So young so much more to do with his life he was still working full time. My dad was my everything a hero my mr fix it my best friend. I feel like I’ve been short changed, my son is 15 month and loved his pa so much. Not to see him grow up with my dad breaks my heart. My mum suffers from anxiety I'm the only one holding her together. There’s so much pressure on me, I have my own problems my own grief. I didn’t really get to say a proper goodbye at the funeral I couldn’t carry the coffin or get up to make my own speech at the funeral as I had to help mum. Im not resentful, I just feel sad that I could not do theses tasks like my brother and sister. There is too much pressure I just can’t breathe because of all the paperwork, finances issues and arrangements. I feel numb, tired and I just want to understand why! Just why my dad, and why know! There are so many in answered questions. So much I want to say to him. does it get easier?

Philomena I am Philomena
  • replies: 2

I am just finishing my Certificate IV in bereavement support and my idea of doing this course was to be of help and an inspiration to those suffering grief in some way or the other either through the loss of someone or something they held dear to the... View more

I am just finishing my Certificate IV in bereavement support and my idea of doing this course was to be of help and an inspiration to those suffering grief in some way or the other either through the loss of someone or something they held dear to them. Having lost my son aged seven years in an accident a long time back I went through a lot of pain anxiety depression and lived with it silently for many years i could never share with anyone my feelings and panic attacks fear uncertainty I really could not do the things I wanted to do I took me a long time to get over this not even anti depressants could help it was only my will power and my spiritual life that I was able to find my way through it all and after years of struggling with anxiety fear and emotional problems withdrawal physical problems caused due to emotions headaches etc. I now can confidentally say I have made it through and am strong bold and courageous I can face the world . It is with this determination I am now completing my course so that I can be of help to those battling anxiety depression and suicide and give them hope for the future and teach them how to overcome these emotional problems and enjoy life to its fullest and as long as there is life there is hope.

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